cherry-x-blossom

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when paris paloma said “all day every day therapist mother maid, nymph then a virgin, nurse then a servant, 24/7 baby machine so he can live out his pickett fence dreams, it’s not an act of love if you make her, you make me do TOO MUCH LABOUR” it awoke a primal feminine rage in me

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You cute as hell

Thank you 🫶🏻

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7 hour pencil drawing of Jenna Ortega’s Wednesday ft. Thing

#wednesday #Wednesday Addams #jenna ortega #pencil drawing #drawing #art #wednesday fanart

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Sas Milledge

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🌸CUTE DRESS🌸

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Living with cPTSD means that even when you are safe, you don’t feel safe. Paranoia plagues you both when you’re awake and when you’re asleep. Fear settles into where security should be. You find yourself terrified that they’re going to break into your home and kill you. Terrified that they’ll see you at the grocery store and terrorize you. Terrified they’ll recognize your car and wreck into you. Terrified they’ll show up at your work and harass you.

And then you notice that even emotions feel like danger to you. Anger means you’re going to be physically harmed. Annoyance towards you makes you feel anxious that something bad will happen.

You think that you can escape this fear and paranoia if you just sleep. But you can’t sleep. Your body is constantly on high alert, awaking at the slightest of sounds, never fully resting because some part of you is still awake…listening…waiting. So, you take things that help you sleep. You can finally stay asleep, but the nightmares begin. All of the pain, terror, and trauma plays on repeat. You can’t wake up. You’re stuck in the dream. And it doesn’t feel like a dream. You can feel the pain all over again. Your muscles tighten, your body breaks out in a sweat.

That’s when you realize you’ll never be able to function like a normal person. You will always have high levels of anxiety. You will always expect the people you love to hurt you. The guard never goes down. And even that isn’t enough. You long to feel loved. You long to feel safe. You long to be able to think, dream, and behave calmly…normally.

Everyone else’s glass is half full. But yours? It’s always filled to the brim. Which means that even the tiniest drop causes your glass to spill over. And no matter what you do, you can’t get rid of the excess.

#ptsd #cptsd #complex ptsd #childhood trauma #child abuse #abuse #trauma

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I don't want all this pain anymore. I just feel so heavy and it never stops. I want to feel light.

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Me having a flashback while making a joke about my trauma

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panels from Zoe Thorogood’s “It’s Lonely at the Center of the Earth”

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it’s unfair how i have the responsibility to heal myself when i didn’t cause my wound in the first place

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