chronicallyillstupor

[chronicallyillstupor]

Spicy-brained friends, I would like to propose an update to the very useful ‘if you hate everyone, eat, if everyone hates you, sleep, and if you hate yourself, shower’ mantra to live by

Have you suddenly become a petty, hateful little gremlin who thinks people should face the firing squad for (checks notes) leaving teabags on the counter, breathing loudly, or daring to exist in the same space as you? Perhaps mundane and reasonable requests like ‘hey, we agreed to hang out now, let’s hang out’ make you want to scream and move to a yurt in the woods.

You. Are. Overstimulated.

People talk a lot about being overstimulated, and the physical/mental effects of it. What I haven’t seen is people talking about what it does emotionally, and it took me an embarassingly long time to link up those nitpicky, resentful emotions with the state of overstimulation/meltdown/shutdown.

These feelings do not mean that you’re a bad person! They probably aren’t how you actually feel about the people around you. They probably do mean that your nervous system is at its absolute limit and any request/demand/stimulus is Too Much and taking you into fight or flight territory.

Go lie down in a dark room for an hour, or find somewhere safe and familiar to stim for a bit. If it’s happening a lot, schedule yourself regular low-stimulation shutdown time

Signed: someone who moved in with their nearest and dearest only to have a massive crisis of faith about Suddenly Hating All of Them. I don’t hate them, it’s just overstimulating living with people. If I can spare anyone else a similar 9 months of suspecting that they may actually be a bit of a shit person, then this post is worth it!

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When the flare up has been going on a little too long to be a flare up.

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despite all my saddened rage i am still just a girl in her room watching her silly little films, reading her silly little books, listening to her silly little playlists

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Me: *wanting to keep busy, keep moving, and keep moving things to keep my mind off of The Thoughts™️*

ME/CFS: Now wait a minute...

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Lindsey Drager, The Archive of Alternate Endings

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Welcome to season 2 of There is Things wrong with me and I don't know how Fix

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— Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

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STOP. moment of gratitude for those precious times of breathing from your nostrils when you don't have a stuffy nose

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What’s your typical day like?

i wake up. i malfunction. i call it a day

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The agenda.

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How do you process grief?

by running from it until it finds me in the middle of a sunny street on a beautiful day

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“Many people seem to think it foolish, even superstitious, to believe that the world could still change for the better. And it is true that in winter it is sometimes so bitingly cold that one is tempted to say, ‘What do I care if there is a summer; its warmth is no help to me now.’ Yes, evil often seems to surpass good. But then, in spite of us, and without our permission, there comes at last an end to the bitter frosts. One morning the wind turns, and there is a thaw. And so I must still have hope.”

— Vincent Van Gogh