Seeing a post (last reblog) of how much Simon progresses in terms of touching Baz in a day in CO (I didn't realize he went from shoulder bumping to hand-holding in a single day, the timeline in those books are wild) makes me remember how a few days ago I opened my reading app after a long time. It opened in one of the earliest CO chapters and I kid you not: Simon can't go ONE paragraph without bringing up Baz. Not ONE. And when he finally does is for world-building exposition purposes.
Simon finds ANY excuse to bring him up, even when it makes no fucking sense. When there's not a single thing that would trigger a Baz-related memory. Simon makes everything about Baz – every little thing Baz does catches his attention. The boy is simply starving for him – he starves for his touch as much as he starves for being part of Baz's life. He consumes all his thoughts in a way that makes obsession undeniable, even when the reason for it (he's in love) is indecipherable to Simon.
“As soon as we get through the exit, we do run. Down the steps. Past the queue. Past the fairies and the peasants and the vaping warlords. I can’t stop laughing. I haven’t felt this good in a year.”
I think it’s easy to forget how *young* Simon and Agatha were when they were dating. And how young Agatha was when she liked Baz.
Think about how weird and flighty and goofy your relationships were in middle school and high school. Think of all your crushes …
Was that true love? Was it attraction?
Those relationships are important, in their way, but they don’t really determine who you’re going to be or what sort of relationships you’ll have as an adult.
And the way you acted in those situations doesn’t necessarily correspond to how you’ll act later.