cleankcals

[cleankcals]

*suddenly realizes i'm horrifically lonely and haven't done anything meaningful with my life and don't know what i can do to change that at this point while in the line at the grocery store*

[cleankcals]

STOP

You all love to call people wanarexics or wannabe anorexics, but honestly if someone is looking at a thinspo and going, “Gee I want to be like that,” there is a problem. Most people want to lose weight and be fit. Most do not want to be pale, bruised and with bones poking out everywhere…stop calling people that… Wanting to be that thin and unhealthy is already the beginning of anorexia and unhealthy thought patterns. 

Thanks for coming to my tED talk. 

[cleankcals]

OCD checkpoint!

(This is all general and meant to help a broad range of people, statements may not strictly apply to every situation.)

It wasn't your fault.

You deserve to be alive. You deserve to enjoy your life.

You deserve to be forgiven.

You are not your instrusive thoughts. You are not the one thinking all the scary things.

Your friends/loved ones can't read your thoughts!! And if they could they'd know that the intrusive ones aren't you.

You're kind and you're radiant and people care about you. People think about you positively and love you/p

You do not have to limit the space you take up in this world.

You are not personally to blame for this worlds injustices, for corporations killing this planet, and for atrocities committed. You only need to worry about your own actions.

"Good" is a choice that anyone can make. It's something you do when you try your best to be kind and to be tolerant of (harmless) people around you. It's not something you're born with or achieve through being the least problematic person on this earth.

You don't have to be perfect.

You're not a bad person for giving into compulsions you're trying to break. You also aren't a bad person for forgetting to do a ritual or compulsion..

Inhale slowly and then exhale calmly. I promise it's going to be okay..

[cleankcals]

make sure to eat something today! it's important to nourish your body! 🍓

[cleankcals]

Never mind, my mom took the scale battery out haha I love life, life is good, this is fine *screams*

The last time I weighed myself was in March, I bet I didn't lose shit in April lol (I'll check and come back here to tell you guys and yes I'm coming back to this app)

[cleankcals]

The last time I weighed myself was in March, I bet I didn't lose shit in April lol (I'll check and come back here to tell you guys and yes I'm coming back to this app)

[cleankcals]

There’s a popular post going around that’s like “well tone indicators are helpful for people for anxiety because some people need stuff like “ /nm (not mad)” or “ /nbh (nobody here)” and I absolutely get it because I have an anxiety disorder but like. You can very much add that on the text of a message itself and it will be way more clear and accessible than expecting them to memorize this whole new fabricated code. 

Which one do you think will be clearer, faster to understand, and more direct to the point:

“oh my god someone is pissing me off /nbh”

“oh my god someone (not from this server, don’t worry) is pissing me off”

or

“have you done the dishes? /nm

“have you done the dishes? don’t worry, im not mad, just wondering”

You can be mindful of someone else’s needs and talk to them in a way that is respectful and understanding of those needs. The key is communication. Expecting people to memorize a lot of abbreviations is like the contrary of accessible.

[cleankcals]

The piece of shit (me) is still alive, should I come back to here?

A lot of people followed me while I was inactive and I'm so sorry, if you follow me is probably because you relate with what I post and it's painful to live like this and I wish every single one of you would recover or get proper help. I don't know if I'll be back on here but I just wanted to say "take care, stay safe, you matter"!

[cleankcals]

God please if you are listening, if you exist, please take me. I'm begging.

[cleankcals]

TW: SUICIDE AND SELF HARMING

Hello, I'm still not dead (unfortunately)

Also, all I have been doing is eating and that's why I'm not posting anything because I feel like shit.

Today is not being good to me, more than the usual. I wish I could just ended this up. I miss the feeling of the razor on my skin. I really do. And that's fucked up.

[cleankcals]

[cleankcals]

How to stop binging every single day? I will destroy all the progress I made because I just can't stop eating, I'm out of control

[cleankcals]

I can't stop binge eating and I don't know what to do. Every day I say "I'm gonna fasting tomorrow" but I ended up binge again and I feel like nothing makes sense anymore, I just want to die. It only took me 3 days to screw the little progress I made this month, I really hate myself, I'll never be skinny.

[cleankcals]

Hi I’m a piece of shit welcome to my blog

[cleankcals]

i accidentally messed up my life how do i start a new account

[cleankcals]

i’m seeing a lot of people reblogging suicide hotlines and this is just a reminder that this is a suicide help line that works like a text-based instant messenger for people who may need to talk to someone but have trouble/are uncomfortable making phone calls

[cleankcals]

Spending days waiting for that point in my life where someone can tell I have ed just by looking at me.