clementines-bad-ideas

[clementines-bad-ideas]

Solomon: So, did you get me anything for my birthday?

Mc: Your birthday present is a 10 second head start before I kill you

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me mc #obey me solomon #obey me incorrect quotes

[clementines-bad-ideas]

Mc: I've been kidnapped by the enemy

Solomon, chuckling: You have an odd way of saying we’re married

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me mc #obey me solomon #obey me incorrect quotes

[clementines-bad-ideas]

Mc: I can't believe you all are accusing me of having a favorite angel!

Mc: I like all Luke's and and not-Luke's equally

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me mc #obey me luke #obey me incorrect quotes

[clementines-bad-ideas]

Diavolo: Lucifer, why does Mc call you babygirl?

Lucifer: How about we stop talking for a while!?

Barbatos, smiling: *about to spill the tea*

Lucifer, looking at Barbatos: Then why do they call you Girlie?

Barbatos: Let's change the subject

Diavolo: Why does Mc call you Girlie?

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me mc #obey me diavolo #obey me lucifer #obey me barbatos #obey me incorrect quotes

[clementines-bad-ideas]

Solomon: Come on, I thought we were friends!

Mc: Well, no offense friend, but I hope you get buried alive

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me mc #obey me solomon #obey me incorrect quotes

[clementines-bad-ideas]

Mc, crossing themself: Welp, it's go big or go home

Mc: *proceeds to eat a bit of Solomon's cooking*

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me mc #obey me solomon #obey me incorrect quotes

[clementines-bad-ideas]

TITS OUT

hello random stranger i have now decided i like you

Lol, I thank you for the support 😁

[clementines-bad-ideas]

Mc, being sent to the Devildom:

Mc: What is this strange place?

Mc, seeing Diavolo's glorious titties:

Mc: Oh, but I should stay

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me mc #obey me diavolo #obey me incorrect quotes

[clementines-bad-ideas]

Mammon: SOLOMON'S AT THE DOOR

Mc: Fuck! BELPHIE, GET THE HOSE

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me mc #obey me solomon #obey me mammon #obey me belphie #obey me belphegor #obey me incorrect quotes

[clementines-bad-ideas]

Simeon: Are you an ‘arr’ pirate or a ‘yo ho ho’ pirate?

Mc: I’m a "I’m not paying $600 for photoshop" pirate

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me mc #obey me simeon #obey me incorrect quotes

[clementines-bad-ideas]

Mc: Free board and meal? Sign me up, nothing can go wrong-

*proceeds to get sent to hell and has to become a family therapist*

Mc: hisses

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me mc #obey me incorrect quotes

[clementines-bad-ideas]

Mc, oversharing as a bonding exercise: My toxic trait is carelessly getting dressed in front of open windows because if someone wants to look in, that’s their problem

Belphie, when he was still in the attic: Didn't need that information, but ok

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me mc #obey me belphie #obey me belphegor #obey me incorrect quotes

[clementines-bad-ideas]

Lucifer, investigating everyone after being gone all night:

Mc, who was helping Solomon with a new spell all night: Look, Asmo, I need you to be my alibi because I was with someone last night

Asmo, doing his nails: Fine

Later-

Solomon: Asmo I need you to be my alibi because I had company last night

Asmo, coming to a conclusion: Sure~

Later-

Satan, who was also helping with the spell: Asmo I can't explain, but I need you to be my alibi for last night

Asmo, coming to more conclusions: insulted because he wasn't invited

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me mc #obey me lucifer #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo #obey me solomon #obey me incorrect quotes

[clementines-bad-ideas]

Mc, about literally any of the other characters: This man can't be fixed...

Mc: I can f-.... I can kiss him though, maybe that will calm him down

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me mc #obey me incorrect quotes

[clementines-bad-ideas]

Mc: Here's your order, sir

The drink in question: strawberries and cream frappuccino with 2 pumps if vanilla syrup, 1 pump of raspberry syrup, 1 pump of white chocolate mocha, and substitute 2 pumps of hazelnut for toffee nut with half whole milk and half breve with no whipped cream, extra hot foam, extra caramel drizzle, extra salt with a scoop of vanilla bean powder and light ice well stirred, with the name 'Edward Cullen ♡' written on it

Lucifer, who ordered an iced americano: ...I can't drink this

Mc: Okay. Pussy

Lucifer: Excuse me?

Mc: You clearly heard me. Go on then, ask for a new one. Ask me for a different coffee than the one I gave you

Mc: What? Can't do it? I don't mind. Make a fuss. Go on

Lucifer: ..... proceeds to become a regular

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me mc #obey me lucifer #obey me incorrect quotes

[clementines-bad-ideas]

Mammon: So you know in the teen movies when something bad happens and the dad comes back with an evil stepmom?

Solomon: You think we're getting married?

Mc: I don't want to know where this is going

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me mc #obey me mammon #obey me solomon #obey me incorrect quotes

[clementines-bad-ideas]

[If Mc lived in Purgatory Hall]

Mc: Hey do we have any milk left?

Solomon: Oh, I drank the last of it

Mc: . . .

Solomon: . . .

Mc: Foolish of you to think you can keep on containing my power. You’ll pay dearly for your milk-stealing crimes soon enough

Solomon: And who’s going to stop me? You and your bones lacking in calcium?? The milk police??? God???? I have to laugh