clint-barton-lover

[clint-barton-lover]

Clark youre such a nerd

[clint-barton-lover]

It is so funny to me that the Joker just hates Dick Grayson the most out of everyone in the batfamily.

And realistically, it's probably because he was the one who "took Batman from him and changed him to be softer", but I like to believe it's because Dick is funnier than him. One time, when he was Robin, Batman smiled when he made a joke or a pun and that just never happened when Joker made a joke (because you know, Dick was never a serial killer) and he is still salty about it and will be for the rest of his life.

[clint-barton-lover]

What if Damian and Tim love each other and even like? It's just more of a situation "Manipulating others is easier ". Maybe an example will help;

Damian: Father, May I go to Zoo today?

Bruce:No Damian, you're grounded.

Tim:Oh, that's bad. I could go with you to take photos of otter, but if you are not going I think I will stay too. What's a zoo without company. Maybe I will go with Kon next week.

Bruce *Super happy in a moment of thinking his youngest kids getting along*: If you two agree not to kill each other, Damian can go

Tim and Damian:*Knowing looks*

Or situation like;

Tim who has abandoned issues and is having fear of people leaving him: Dick is mad at me. Can you stab me so he will be in his mother hen mode Instead?

Damian who would like to have 5 minutes of peace from Grayson: Say no more

[clint-barton-lover]

[clint-barton-lover]

Batkids calling Bruce when they need him.

Dick gets arrested for underage drinking call my dad now he's not in the slightest scared but he wants his dad. Bruce who already got bail done and is wrapping Dick in a blanket.

Jason crashes a car already on the phone with Bruce who is speeding to him.

Tim is falling asleep at the office and wants to go home dad please pick me up. Waking up tucked in Bruce's bed.

Damian gets in a fight at school you call my father right now. He suspended but Bruce hugs him on the way out.

Kids who aren't afraid to call Dad. He wont be mad he wants them to call. To know he will drop everything to get to his boys. Scared birds shouting for the big bad bat and he comes running.

[clint-barton-lover]

why do i imagine the batfam finally meeting the league and then one of them going 'how the fuck do you have so many kids?' and little shit Jason goes 'well, when two people love each other very much...' and because Bruce doesn't wanna listen to this, he tiredly reminds Jason: 'you're adopted' which naturally means that Jason is going to dramatically pretend that this is the first time he's heard that and how could Bruce keep this from him, much to the horror of the league and the exasperation of Bruce

[clint-barton-lover]

Sir you are pushing 30, you don't get to meow

[clint-barton-lover]

thinking about the batkids annoying each other and one of them just go "god i was an only child before bruce i miss it so much"

and then there's just a collective agreement and they're all staring at each other in silence after because somehow they forgot NONE of them had siblings before this

[clint-barton-lover]

Do you ever just think, Batman passed the bat paranoia down to his children. Like, the Teen Titans will be chilling and Beast Boy asks what Robin would do if he turned evil and Robin just has a detailed file on each of them, counting all possible outcomes on how to take him down and their weaknesses. Jon asks Damian the same question and Damian has the most detailed contingency plan Jon’s ever seen, plus eight backups. The JL makes the mistake of mentioning it to Batman and he spends hours walking them all through what to do if he goes evil. Everyone is both impressed and concerned with the level of craziness and paranoia in that family. Clark will just walk in to the Batcave and see Bruce buried under a forest’s worth of papers full of what to do in any circumstance ever. Someone asks what to do if Alfred goes evil and every single bat pops up at the same time and says, “run” in the most serious voice possible.

[clint-barton-lover]

dick grayson (5’10” with the body of a gymnast): this is my baby brother!

jason todd (6’3” brick wall of muscle): …hi

***

cass wayne (5’5” with the body of a dancer): little brother!

jason (almost a whole foot taller than her): hiya cass

[clint-barton-lover]

my fav thing is that despite the fact YJ watched Santa die by getting hit by an asteroid everyone on this website just refers to the event as ‘YJ killing Santa’

[clint-barton-lover]

Dream Jason assuring Tim he'll be a good Robin

Real Jason in the nightmare realm assuring Tim he is a good Robin

[clint-barton-lover]

If he walks by and sees two or more of the kids are in the kitchen at once

Things that fuel Batman’s paranoia, wrong answers only, go.

#1 kid? okay theyre getting a snack #2 or more kids? oh fuck oh no Alfred is not gonna like that

[clint-barton-lover]

Things that fuel Batman’s paranoia, wrong answers only, go.

[clint-barton-lover]

Apollo is the nicest member of The Authority and that’s a scary thing.

Captain Atom: Armageddon #8

[clint-barton-lover]

the batfamily to me is just a horror anthology of like pov: you are slowly turning into your father. we don't talk about this enough. everyone's worst fear is becoming bruce and despite it all dick becomes him. dick dons the cowl and fires tim and screws over his friends and treats the titans like colleagues. babs fires dinah and helena and is overcontrolling and makes decisions for other people because she thinks she's allowed to make them. tim becomes hostile and isolated and secluded. I just. they are trying their best to escape him but in doing so they doom themselves

[clint-barton-lover]

hc that no one on the JL (or any of the teams) will let bats do the heavy lifting, ever

Like one day they need to carry an unconscious Flash after a battle and someone else (who has a broken arm) is like “who is well enough that they can carry him” and Batman, ceo of ignoring his injuries™️, is like “I got this” but his mouth starts leaking blood while he’s carrying flash. Superman (who was holding up a building) x-rays him & is like “YOU HAVE THREE BROKEN RIBS AND INTERNAL BLEEDING. WHY ARE YOU CARRYING FLASH?” “…I am well enough to carry flash”

anyway this applies to all bats. Someone asks if someone else can volunteer to help them lift something and, no matter what, Kon puts his hand over Tim’s mouth bc of the broken leg incident™️. Tim will never even be allowed a chance to make a case or attempt to answer the call.

Someone asks if Robin can help to carry something and Jon immediately replies “no he can’t. I’ll do it tho.” bc Damian once tried to conduct cleanup (lifting pieces of broken buildings and concrete) post alien-invasion with a stab wound (it was multiple stab wounds but only Jon figured that out)

Someone asks nightwing if he can carry stuff to the car and all of a sudden you have eight people shouting “NO” bc he once offered to carry someone’s old 60 pound box TV to storage while he had a gunshot wound. They only learned about the gunshot wound after he fainted & the tv fell on top of him.

Jason leaves before anyone can ask him to help with anything

Edit:

Steph and Cass fight over who carries the thing for the other person, but usually neither of them volunteer. They're gone the second the battle is over. Babs never has to carry shit even if it's a loaf of bread because she goes "wow, really? have the wheelchair bound girl carry shit for you, sure" so the person stammers and she gets away with it every single time.

Duke is allowed to carry things. (Other teams have yet to find out about his injuries.) In fact, they compliment him on being responsible enough to not over-exert himself. He smiles back. (He's trying not to laugh.)