clockworkspider

[clockworkspider]

I know we've talked about all the ways, "I hate all men EXCEPT trans men", is generally painting us not reeaallllyyy men which is fucked up, but it's also a nerve wracking position to find yourself in. Yes, I am incredibly hostile to people very much like you, but you're my exception. Who knows what will cause me to take that Exception card away from you, and when. Are you really not the enemy? Are you? Are you? Haha just checking no pressure do as I say.

In some ways, I can really understand wanting men who are safer and more understanding but like, this is scary to be on the other end of. It's controlling and you have power over me. I'm literally transgender.

[clockworkspider]

[clockworkspider]

THOUGHT GAINED: INFERNAL ENGINES

PROBLEM

The world is ending. You know it, your neighbor knows it, the dealer knows it, the jailer knows it, the king and all his men know it. All one has to do is look around to see it— the future is curdling into something pale and incorporeal. The infernal machine that is this stupid world is going to blow, sooner rather than later. So what are you doing? Why are you still here? Why is anyone still here?

SOLUTION

You are doing the only thing worth doing. You are living. *Why,* you ask? Try and remember now. Remember your mother’s hand on your shoulder. Remember the taste of a fresh catch. Remember the times when you were kind to the dogs in the valley and they did not bare their teeth. Remember the weight of a child on your shoulders. Remember the stars throwing their light against the wall of sodium and smog. Remember singing until your throat was raw. Remember crying just as loudly and publicly, and the gentleness with which someone opened your curled fist and pressed a handkerchief into your palm. Crying, laughing, running, eating, screaming, haunting, loving, fighting, fighting, fighting. The fight fuels you, and you fuel the fight. You run yourself ragged just for a chance to keep running. You never stop. You cannot stop. The world depends on it. *You* are the infernal engine. You are the world. And, simply put: you want to live.

[clockworkspider]

#oh dear #tumblr

[clockworkspider]

my mahoyaku fanart log 2021-2022

#mhyk

[clockworkspider]

love characters who are like "this is how the world works. this is how it has to be (because if i'm wrong i have to face what i've done // if i'm wrong i have to face whats been done to me) "

#fjskfjekfjwitnejre #yeah

[clockworkspider]

#bees

[clockworkspider]

For reference mine was I was so mad at the canon ending for my favourite character in an otome game that I wrote fanfic to fix it

#writing crack fics uses to be a lot more usual back in the days #almost like making memes #it was one of those fics where i force characters to play roles in fairytale #i just wrote it cause that's what everyone else did on the forum and i wanted to participate

[clockworkspider]

i told my friend’s dad that he was hot (it was in context with the conversation, he was complaining that he was feeling old, etc), and he said a very genuine thank you and the conversation moved on to other topic, my friend was now talking about something else entirely when his dad goes

“i think if i were born in your generation i might have been bisexual”

and friend got kinda mad at me lmao

[clockworkspider]

if you got like a 100kilo bag of glitter and opened it up and left it in the path of like a tornado i think that would be interesting. i dont care abt ecological damage btw

[clockworkspider]

The thing is my ADHD is pretty mild and my prescription dosage is really low... So it doesn't feel super noticeable on most days. A while back my meds were making my depressive episode worse so I stopped taking it.

And then lately my work efficiency is kinda poor but the depression went away so I thought of getting back on it again today morning but didn't want to risk wishing for death while I am at the office... So I didn't take it.

Now I am sitting at the office wanting to rip off my own skin from lack of focus instead... Fuuuuuuuuuck

#adhd

[clockworkspider]

my fav gif is still the one where the two dudes are at a sports game and one guy randomly shows up and aggressively starts to make out with one of the first two people and then the camera zooms in to the other guy, whose face shows complete confusion and terror at the gay that just went down

[clockworkspider]

started going through the enstars main story and what do you mean idols earn in money in the form of a special company currency called L$ and L$ can’t be exchanged for actual real currency…? (edit: yes, yen can be exchanged into L$. as far as I’ve read, exchanging L$ into yen is impossible) the more I read the more fucked up it gets btw

#enstars #prev no this is definitely the weirdest and most messed up thing to happen in enstars #the other stuff happens in every story #only in enstars do you get temporary divergence to financial nightmare

[clockworkspider]

Tumblr users having multiple blogs is so funny on the activity view. You'll see one guy reblog 20 posts of your in a row and then afterwards a complete different stranger just followed you.

[clockworkspider]

Ok now do NYT columnists

[clockworkspider]

Made a chart for sorting fantheories

[clockworkspider]

Dog shows: Hold still. No, more still. Now move your leg. No not like that. Yes the stranger is touching you ignore it. Hold still. Hold STILL ok now walk.

Cat shows: Ooooh baby cute little fuzzy baby baby look at the nice feather toy! Get it! you are such a beautiful kitty can the nice judgy give you a kissy on your widdo head?