clownsecret

[clownsecret]

The boy I was.

#this man has never been hugged in his life #he has never HEARD of a hug #if you tried to hug him he would 1: be SO offended and 2: have no idea what the fuck you think you're doing

[clownsecret]

I appreciate how there's relatively a decent amount of noncon fic for Dark Urge/Gortash but what I really need is Dark Urge nonconning HIM. I need this man debased, degraded, dehumanized, violently and slowly. I need Slayer!form Durge to go absolutely feral in his holes in the worst, most painful ways until he's sobbing and bleeding.

#noncon cw #YESSSSSS #i need this man afraid for his life

[clownsecret]

Raphael is bad in bed? I can teach him. Raphael is a bottom? I'm a top. Raphael doesn't last long? Doesn't matter, he's bottoming. He'll either learn to last longer or he'll learn to like overstimulation.

#the crimes i would commit upon this man's flesh #if he doesn't want to be so overstimulated that he cries and screams and begs then he should just stop being such a two pump chump #like sorry raph bud but i AM going to hurt you until you learn to be better #and YES haarlep CAN watch #in fact i encourage them to do so

[clownsecret]

Anyone else enjoy drawing Cazador’s fuck ass bobbed hair? lol this is part of a larger illustration that’s going to hurt some feelings when Astarion gets added but I’m enjoying Caz in a kimono for sure.

#i am looking at that exposed thigh so respectfully

[clownsecret]

au where both astarion and cazador were tadpoled, and it's very awkward because their weird vampire/spawn bond is weakened and also they have to hide this shit from the rest of the party, like:

the party: what the hells is going on with you two?

astarion and cazador, staring at eachother intensely: NOTHING-

#YES!!! this is all i've ever wanted

[clownsecret]

I am forever upset about not being able to fuck Zevlor at the tiefling party. Imagine it, slowly undressing each other and starting all sweet and tender, but then a switch flips in his brain and it all turns into the filthiest most animalistic fucking you could possibly imaginable. Teeth and claws, biting and scratching until someone submits and gets fucked into the ground.

Gods, the brainrot is real.

#boy oh boy is that brainrot real

[clownsecret]

baldur's gate three au where just before astarion finally kills cazador, he turns into a rat and runs away. the plot then progresses normally from there until the epilogue, which is just all the tadpole crew frantically going around the city chasing rats to check each one individually for being cazador

#nevvy speaks #bg3 shitpost #cazador szarr #bg3 cazador #i'm sorry for spamming the cazador tags but he's just my little guy right now #he's horrible and i love him #baldur's gate 3 #bg3

[clownsecret]

About the vellioth thing of mine that you reblogged. Some backstory for them, cause of the tags you made, just for fun.

In this AU vellioth was resurected by Mastraccht, the first vampire and co creator of the species/curse (with Pelor) from 5e lore. Mastracht is like "okay so you made a grand ol fuckin mess of my plans. Youre gonna fix it. i have been waiting millenia for someone to finally manage to get our kind back in the sun. And its this little bitch of a sadist you made? Nah. Nanananah youre going to get your grandspawn and do it right this time. Hes been locked away for decades so hes primed and maleable for proper training, grooming etc. make sure he is the one who ascends. He has far more potential to actually starting up a new species of sunwalkers and if there are enough of those, i can consume them until im also free to re enter the devine light again. Blah blah blah evil plans continue"

Vellioth is informed that if he succeeds, he will be permitted to keep his new body instead of being returned to the two urns and skull in the tourmaline depths to wait out eternity.

Only real rule is to get er done and keep the maiming to a reasonable medium. The deliberate vagueness would be noted with much appreciation on Vellioths part.

oh, nice!!! that sounds really cool (i mean. whatever happens is not going to be nice for my boy cazador. and also probably not great for astarion either. or anyone else in the dnd universe)

#nevvy speaks #answers

[clownsecret]

Todays WIP

Some scenes from my Astarion x Vellioth fic. Our boy got stuffed in that tomb for a few decades and Grandsire had to go dig him out.

#i think this would be like. the Worst Possible Scenario for poor asty #like we KNOW what kind of shit vellioth did to cazador #how much worse would he be to someone as wet and pathetic as astarion??? #i love this idea it's legitimately horrifying and that excites me #i'm a little iffy on how it would work #i just #i don't see any kind of scenario where cazador would be able to do what he does in canon if vellioth is still kicking #i don't think the kind of vampire sire who leaves his spawn impaled on a pike for eleven years would let his spawn become a true vampire #much less allow that AND allow him to start planning the ascension ritual #i'm so intrigued though #if i put enough time into thinking about this i could probably find workarounds to the barriers

[clownsecret]

Mad respect for Cazador fans. To look at the most hated man in the game and say “he needs to be in cat ears and a maid dress”

#thank you op it's so nice to have our hard work acknowledged #i promise that one day i WILL draw this

[clownsecret]

imagining an au on a durge run where instead of astarion getting got by the mindflayers, it's cazador

god we would get up to such evil. he would also cry the first time he got dirt on his clothes. but we would cause so much destruction.

#nevvy speaks #nevvy plays bg3 #cazador szarr #bg3 cazador #would he almost certainly try to kill the player? yes #would love to make a mod that would let you do this but i am tragically tech illiterate #if any modders out there want to take this idea and run with it though it's free #only stipulation is that he HAS to be romancable #you can make it redemption only if you want but i want that vampire kissable

[clownsecret]

Selfcare day for an Archdruid aka " I needed to practice drawing different body types."

#looking so so respectfully

[clownsecret]

"But perhaps there is more that I want..." "This 'more' that you want. What is it?" "Not what. Who."

Explicit [NSFW]

Just Halsin thinking about Tav late at night, torn between them and being dedicated to give the Shadowcurse his full and undivided attention. Show some restraint, Archdruid!

Not pictured; Tav being exactly the same their own tent. (let's pretend they have one)

In true Halsin tradition, I'll attach a song for vibe. Now SURPRISINGLY, it's not a "sexy song". Could I have used one? Yeah totally. But the bittersweet pining fits this painting really well. And it's present on pretty much every single Halsin playlist I've seen haha (including Dave's)

Say "Night-ie night" and kiss me Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me While I'm alone and blue as can be Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading but I linger on, dear Still craving your kiss I'm longing to linger 'til dawn, dear Just saying this

thank you for coming to my TED talk

#send help i think my brain just exploded

[clownsecret]

I haven't seen this here on tumblr yet, so here ya go

[clownsecret]

more about plums

#im. screaming #THIS IS WHY I CAN'T HAVE HIM IN MY PARTY

[clownsecret]

also NEW EVIL ENDINGS OH MY GOD

#nevvy speaks

[clownsecret]

do you think illidan fucked the skull of gul'dan?

#nevvy speaks #world of warcraft shitpost