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coastingthroughmyemotion

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proudly emotional

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coastingthroughmyemotion · 3 months

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SOMETHING about they way sally and poseidon interact during that whole 3 minutes suggests that this isn't the first time they've seen and talked to each other. She's not surprised when he shows up--she knows he's going to, and to me, that means that he's done so before. The way poseidon responded when she asked if he wanted to talk to percy--the pain on his face suggests she's asked him that before, but he knows his answer has to be the same. The way it starts raining--a sign, one she knows because it's happened before. The way they're not looking at each other but they both WANT to, they're both trying to hold themselves back--it was too hard the last time. There are so many things said in between their words, so many things said with just the way they act. They're not uncomfortable, just cautious--they can't be found out, cant be seen together, cant let the gods know about percy, cant let percy know about himself or his dad or any of it because it's too soon what if i kill myself

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coastingthroughmyemotion · 3 months

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there’s something strangely gutwrenching about the solstice having already passed. there have been minor changes in the “side adventures” of the trio.

they know they’re entering medusa’s house. they go to the arch for sanctuary against echidna and chimera. they go to waterland to help ares and convince hephaestus to stop being like his family. they go to the lotus hotel to get help from hermes.

in the books they’re getting tricked and distracted and losing all of that time on their quest was an accident. but they still made it in the end.

but in the show? they did everything right. they were aware of where they were at all times. but then they go and ask for help.

they try to ask for athena’s help and she lets monsters into her temple because they “embarrassed her.” they try to ask for hermes’ help but he doesn’t tell them until it’s too late that the lotus hotel messes with time.

they basically did everything right on their quest only for their biggest failures to occur because of the gods.

but poseidon gives him four pearls. four, instead of three. one for sally too. but we already know that she gets left behind.

they tried so hard only for the deadline to lapse.

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coastingthroughmyemotion · 4 months

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Sometimes I think about how people rank Jason as their least favorite because he’s “such a bland character with no personality”, but was he even allowed to have one in the first place?

He’s two years old when Lupa guides him to Camp Jupiter. He’s brought up to be the perfect soldier, the perfect Roman, the perfect hero. He doesn’t know life outside the legion. He’s the son of Jupiter, he has to be great. If he’s not, he’s a failure and a disgrace. If he is then he’s still not the best because there so many other heroes who did it better than him so he has to keep trying harder and harder even though no matter what he’s never going to be good enough because the moment he slips up he’s no longer the perfect hero.

The few times he actually tries to do something he wants, he’s only cut down. Changing the 12th legion to the 1st legion? No, you can’t do that. It’s tradition. You’re wrong. That’s stupid. Joining the 5th cohort? Why would you join those losers? You’re only hurting yourself. You could be great if you join the 1st cohort instead like a good Roman boy.

So why would he try to do anything that cultivates his identity? Why would he try to do anything that brings him joy if everyone around him is just going to suck it right out?

He has no best friends at Camp Jupiter. He has acquaintances. He has people he’s friendly with. Say what you want but Reyna was a coworker. Dakota was cool, Gwen was nice. But none of them make Jason want to stay at Camp Jupiter instead of Camp Half-Blood. He thinks of Reyna but only in terms of he doesn’t want to saddle her with the responsibility of picking a new praetor. He thinks about duty. When he is picking between the camps he’s weighing his options between doing his duty as he’s done his whole life or picking himself for the very first time ever and he picks himself.

And it’s honestly so fucking depressing that the first time Jason picks himself and is actually supported in his decision happens when he is sixteen years old. And most of the people supporting him have only known him for a month.

But then he saddles himself with duty and responsibilities because that’s all he’s ever known and Percy is dying and Jason is a good Roman and a good hero and his job is to sacrifice his life for everyone else because of course it is. So he takes on Pontifex Maximus to build shrines and temples to minor gods and goddesses (not that they shouldn’t be honored but… once again he’s sacrificing his identity for the good of everyone around him).

And then, just as he’s finally discovering an identity for himself—he likes physics, he’s learning about the mortal world and living in it, he’s becoming more than just Jupiters son and Juno’s perfect hero—he’s killed.

Jason never got to be Jason. He only got to be Jason Grace, son of Jupiter, Praetor of the 12th Legion, slayer of Krios, one of the Seven, Juno’s Champion, Pontifex Maximus. He always belonged to someone else and never himself.

All this to say, Jason is my favorite of the Seven and although he’s not the eldest nor a daughter, as an eldest daughter I relate so hard and feel very seen in him.

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coastingthroughmyemotion · 8 months

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