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collegecoward · 2 years

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I'm failing my first class ever, and it's scary.. how could I go about asking about grade forgiveness? How does it even work?

I'm sorry you're going through this! Failure sucks and it's scary, but I am glad to hear you're in problem-solving mode.

What is grade forgiveness?

To be forgiven for a failing grade, you’ll need to take the class again, and you’ll need permission to take that class again.

If you pass that class the second time you take it, grade forgiveness means that your original failing grade won't count toward your GPA. Your new passing grade will count instead. Both attempts may still appear on your transcript, though, and you should look at your college's academic handbook for any other rules about how grades are forgiven.

Getting ahead of a bad grade

So, you've probably just finished midterms and maybe that gave you the clue you might fail. I'm guessing you are past the withdrawal period, but check your college's academic calendar first! (Withdrawal shows up as a W instead of an F on your transcript, and you should be able to retake. Talk to your advisor before you withdraw, and remember that technically withdrawing from a course changes the number of credit hours you're taking, which could potentially matter for you.)

Anyway, you have some time before the semester/quarter ends. Before you actually fail, go to your professor’s office hours to talk to them about what's going on and what you can do about it. Is there any way you can make up some points? How well do you have to do on assignments in the next six weeks in order to pass? (Is it mathematically possible for you to pass without making up points?) Is there anything you can do to perform better on your next assignments or exams? Or at least get some instruction you can take through the end of the course (and into a new semester if you have to take the class again)?

If you're struggling with your health (mental or physical) you can bring it up if you are comfortable doing so. You do not need to go into any details. Your professor may or may not be helpful, but you can't know until you try.

Also see this post on bouncing back from academic probation.

The forgiveness process

Make an appointment with your academic advisor ASAP. With them you want to talk about how you're doing in your classes, study habits, how a repeat class will fit into your schedule and degree plan, and the process of having your grade forgiven.

Whose permission do you need in order to retake the class?

Can you take it again right away? Can you do it over summer? What makes the most sense for you?

How do you get the grade forgiven? Do you need to fill out a form? When is that due?

What will your gpa look like in the meantime once you fail? Will there be any consequences for your gpa being lower? If you have merit scholarships, I would make sure your grade won't impact your financial aid.

To-do list:

Try to get ahead of your failing grade by talking to your professor and making the next 6 weeks count.

Look into your college's academic handbook for the rules on grade forgiveness so you know what questions to ask your advisor.

Talk to your academic advisor about the process of grade forgiveness and any adjustments you need to make to your plans.

Check on your financial aid to make sure you're meeting any academic requirements.

Address the reasons why you failed. Is it study skills? Readiness for this class? Health reasons? Reach out for help when you need it.

Forgive yourself before your college forgives you. Failure sucks, but it happens, and you will get through it!

#grades #studying #study #grade forgiveness #dropping a class #add/drop #withdrawal #advising

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collegecoward · 2 years

Note

Sorry if you answered this already, but do you have any tips for finding colleges to apply to? I have a long list of colleges in my area, but I don't really know which ones I should look into.

How to Pick a College to Attend

This is the ultimate question! I'll be honest: I've been procrastinating on answering this question because I wasn't sure if I'd have a good enough answer. I’m figuring this out all over again, now that I’m looking at law schools.

Since I'm still learning, I'm going to tell you what I know now and what I'm learning. Other people might have different ways of dong it, and there's no One Right Way to choose a college, as far as I know. But when I was starting looking at colleges and colleges were looking at me, I needed to know mostly three things:

1. Who to talk to. Who is safe and has information I need.

Ideally these people are your teachers, your counselor, your family and friends, and the admissions offices at every single college you are even a little bit interested in. Seriously, I know it can be scary, but it’s their job to talk to you.

If your school has a college and career office, go there. I regret not going and talking to the folks in there at my school; I was scared, but they could’ve helped me. The Fair Opportunity Project, other non-profits, and even your state might have mentors who can help you along when you’re stuck. And I’m always here.

2. What order to do things in.

You have your list of colleges--that’s a great start! I'd start by organizing yourself based on what you know about these schools and what you learn as you go.

Play around with the choosing-a-college sites like Cappex or the College Board.

Get on those colleges websites and pretend like your scrolling through Instagram or browsing on Amazon. You’re shopping for a school you like, is all.

Please feel free to copy this spreadsheet I made and edit it with whatever you want!

3. What to think about.

Here are some things to think about when you’re sorting colleges by ones you like and ones you don't:

Is this a good school for my major?

Are there opportunities I like at this school?

Is this a competitive school for me?

Is this a school that meets my needs, spiritually or demographically?

Is this school the right size I'm looking for?

What's the campus like? Where is it?

How much might this school cost?

Academics

Do they have your major? If you haven’t decided what you want to study, do they have majors you’d be interested in? What classes do they require? What classes do they offer? Most schools offer most majors, but some of them specialize in one thing or another. Figuring out which school in your area is really good at the thing you’re interested in can help you prioritize, at least as far as academics go.

You'll also want to understand how competitive the school is, overall and for your major. What does their average accepted applicant look like? What about their average applicant for your major? The school’s website, as well as sites like College Board, can help you figure this out. That said, I wouldn’t necessarily discourage you from applying to a competitive school. Research shows that students often “rise to the occasion” when they apply for schools “just out of their reach” if they get in. It can be good for you to attend a school where you'll be challenged, which can happen at any school, but may be especially true at your "reach" schools.

Culture

Public schools or private? And if they're private schools, are you interested in schools with strong religious affiliations, or more secular vibes?

Demographics. Early on, I didn’t realize how much a campus culture can change depending on who goes there and teaches there. For example, many Black students find that going to an HBCU (Historically Black College or University) or PBI (Predominantly Black Institution) is extraordinarily validating in a way that PWIs (Predominantly White Institution) are not. The same can be true of other MSIs (Minority-Serving Institutions), even if you are white. Here’s a good breakdown for more information. This isn’t to say that one type of school is better than the other, the experience is just different!

Competitive or chill? Some of this you’ll find in the marketing of a school. I’ve gone to chill schools, I’ve gone to a competitive school. Sometimes the Competitive to Chill Scale correlates with the school or program's acceptance rate, but each campus has its own unique culture that you can get a sense of when you do your research, go on tours, and talk to people.

Environment

This is closely related to culture, but environment is a little more about the place than the people. One of the big things I didn’t do but should’ve was to visit the schools. How you feel going to, and potentially living on, a campus every day can be very much influenced by the school’s environment.

Big city, small town? Is the town part of the campus, or is the campus part of the town? When towns or cities are smaller and surround a college, these are called “college towns.” Life tends to be built around the needs of the campus, which is a huge perk, but beyond the reaches of the city, there might be…nothing, until you drive to the next town. On the other hand, being in a city that happens to have a university in it can be a perk, too, because there’s so much beyond the campus to do, and there are plenty of opportunities to leave campus and live and work someplace else, But if the campus is inside a big city, it might not feel much like a campus. Kinda depends on what you're looking for.

Big school or small school? Big schools tend to have lots of opportunities to do things like research, activities, clubs, a variety of classes, etc. Small schools tend to have smaller class sizes for more personalized attention and more of a community feeling.

Residential or commuter? Often on a college website they’ll tell you whether most students live on campus or off-campus, but you can always ask an admissions counselor. Commuter schools may be more convenient for students who work or take care of family members, while residential campuses can be more of a traditional college environment. It’s not black and white, of course, but this is just something to keep in mind.

Cost

If you're like many students, you probably can't pay for school out of pocket, and you don't have someone to pay for you (or they're only willing to pay so much). Once you've taken a look at the schools and figured out which ones you like, you should think about cost.

What is the cost of attendance? What kind of scholarships do they have? What’s the difference in tuition and fees between schools? If you plan to live on campus, how much would that cost? Every school has to have a financial aid calculator on its website that can help you figure this stuff out.

If you’re like most students nowadays, you can’t just pay for college out of pocket without some kind of help. What kind of financial aid does the school offer to an applicant like you? When you look at their financial aid page, what scholarships are there? Who are they for? Do they give need-based aid, and do you fit their criteria for need? Do they give merit-based aid, and do you fit their criteria for merit? Usually you can’t guarantee you’re going to get scholarships, but it is prudent to think about opportunities.

Does your state give aid if you go to certain schools?

THIS IS SO MUCH INFORMATION, I KNOW. If you are overwhelmed, that is totally and completely normal!!! I would encourage you to go back up to the top of this post, and take things step-by-step. And if you need any more help from me, I promise I won't take so long to respond next time.

You can do this. I believe in you.

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collegecoward · 2 years

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I’m going to give you the best piece of Adult Life Is Hard advice I’ve ever learned:

Talk to people when things go to shit.

I don’t just mean get it off your chest, although that’s good. I mean: Something’s wrong with your paycheck/you lost your job/you had unexpected emergency car repairs and now you’re broke so your credit card payment is late. Like, not just 15 days late. We’re talking, shit got crazy and now you’re 90 days late with compounded interest and late fees and the Minimum Payment Due is, like, $390, and you’ve got about $3.90 in your bank account. Call the credit card company.

I know it’s scary. I know you feel like you’re going to get in trouble, like you’re gong to get yelled at or scolded for not having your life together. But the credit card company isn’t your parents; they’re just interested in getting money from you. And you can’t squeeze blood from a stone or money from someone who doesn’t have any. So what you do is you call them. You explain you’re experiencing temporary financial hardships, and you’re currently unable to bring your account up to date, but you don’t want to just let it get worse. Can you maybe talk to someone about a payment plan so you can work something out? Nine times out of ten you’ll be able to negotiate something so that at least it’s not just taking a constant, giant shit on your credit score.

- Can’t pay your power bill? Call the power company.

- Can’t pay your full rent? Talk to your landlord.

- Had to go to the hospital without insurance and have giant medical bills looming in your place? Call the hospital and ask if they have someone who helps people with financial hardships. Many do.

- Got super sick and missed half a semester of class because flu/pneumonia/auto-immune problems/depressive episode? Talk to your professor. If that doesn’t help, talk to your advisor.

You may not be able to fix everything, but you’ll likely be able to make improvements. At the very least, it’s possible that they have a list of people you can contact to help you with things. (Also, don’t be afraid to google things like, “I can’t pay my power bill [state you live in]” because you’d be surprised at what turns up on Google!) But the thing is, people in these positions gain nothing if you fail. There’s no emotional satisfaction for them if your attempts at having your life together completely bite the dust. In fact, they stand to benefit if things work out for you! And chances are, they’ll be completely happy to take $20 a month from you over getting $0 a month from you, your account will be considered current because you’ve talked to them and made an agreement, you won’t get reported to a collections agency, and your credit score won’t completely tank.

Here’s some helpful tips to keep in mind:

1. Be polite. Don’t demand things; request them. Let me tell you about how customer service people hold your life in their hands and how many extra miles they’ll go for someone who is nice to them.

2. Stick to the facts, and keep them minimal unless asked for them. Chances are they’re not really interested in the details. “We had several family emergencies in a row, and now I’m having trouble making the payments” is better than “Well, two months ago my husband wrecked his bike, and then he had a reaction to the muscle relaxer they gave him, and then our dog swallowed a shoestring and we had to take him to the emergency clinic, and just last week MY car broke down, and now my account’s in the negatives and I don’t know how I’m gonna get it back out.” The person you’re talking to is aware shit happens to everyone; they don’t need the details to prove you’re somehow “worthy” of being helped. They may ask you for details at a certain point if they have to fill out any kind of request form, but let them do that.

3. Ask questions. “Is there anything we can do about X?” “Would it be possible to move my payment date to Y day instead so it’s not coming out of the same paycheck as my rent?” The answer may be “no.” That’s not a failure on your part. But a good customer service person may have an alternate solution.

Anyway! I hope that helps! Don’t just assume the answer is “no” before you’ve even begun. There is more help out there than you ever imagined.

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collegecoward · 2 years

Text

Protect brown girls who didn’t know the following scholarships existed

This isn’t my normal content, but I was thinking recently about how many academic opportunities I missed out on simply because my parents didn’t know the Western academic institution like my white peers did. And by the time I heard about most of these scholarships and programs, I was too old to apply, or they didn’t make sense for my career path anymore.

I have a lot of young followers. I imagine many of you find yourselves in a similar position, where your non-South Asian peers are applying for scholarships that no one ever told you about. I also imagine many of you are looking for ways to seek education on your own terms, and figuring out the finances poses a hurdle. So I wanted to do a rundown of some prestigious and/or South Asian-centric scholarship programs that you may find yourself eligible for and interested in, at a time when you’re young enough to take advantage of these opportunities–or, at the least, young enough to keep them in mind as you go through school.

This is not a list of every scholarship out there. The scholarships listed here are specifically prestigious, nationally or globally recognized scholarship programs that don’t require independent nomination or enrollment in a specific field of study. As a result, these are also highly selective programs, with some granting fewer than 50 awards each year. But that shouldn’t discourage you from applying! God knows your white peers are applying without caring if they meet the requirements.

National Merit Scholarship

Eligibility requirements: Junior in high school; must take PSAT/NMSQT test in 11th grade; must achieve one of the highest scores in the state the test was taken

Country of origin: US students, or US citizens studying abroad

What the program covers: Minimum $2,500 for undergraduate studies; maximum full tuition for undergraduate studies at certain schools

Deadline to apply: Take PSAT/NMSQT by January of junior year

Link

Coca-Cola Scholars Program

Eligibility requirements: High school senior; minimum 3.0 unweighted GPA; must demonstrate leadership capacity and commitment to making an impact at their school/community

Country of origin: US citizens or nationals

What the program covers: $20,000 for undergraduate studies

Deadline to apply: October 31

Link

The Gates Scholarship

Eligibility requirements: High school senior; person of color; Pell-eligible; minimum 3.0 unweighted GPA

Country of origin: US

What the program covers: Full cost of attendance not covered by other sources of financial aid for undergraduate studies; funding may continue for postgraduate studies in certain fields

Deadline to apply: September (phase 1); January (phase 2)

Link

NIH Undergraduate Scholarship Program

Eligibility requirements: Must demonstrate exceptional financial need; minimum 3.3 unweighted GPA; must be enrolled or accepted for enrollment at a 4-year undergraduate institution; must commit to a paid Summer Laboratory Experience and 1 year of full-time employment at NIH post-graduation per year of funding received

Country of origin: US

What the program covers: Up to $20,000 per year for undergraduate studies

Deadline to apply: Mid-March

Link

(Note: Some schools may require you to go through an internal application process before endorsing your application for one of the following scholarships. Check in with your university to see if there’s anything you need to do before applying to one of these programs.)

Rhodes Scholarship

Eligibility requirements: Aged 18-24 years; must demonstrate outstanding intellect, character, leadership, and commitment to service

Country of origin: Global

What the program covers: Generally 2 years’ tuition for any postgraduate course offered at the University of Oxford, plus an annual stipend for living expenses

Deadline to apply: Early October

Link

Fulbright Scholarship

Eligibility requirements: A bachelor’s degree; interest in facilitating cultural exchange

Country of origin: US (with some options for non-US applicants)

What the program covers: All expenses for 1 year to study, teach English, or pursue a research/professional project in a foreign country

Deadline: Mid-September

Link

Gates Cambridge Fellowship

Eligibility requirements: Must demonstrate outstanding intellectual ability and leadership potential

Country of origin: Global (minus UK)

What the program covers: Full cost of tuition, plus living stipend, plus discretionary funds, for most full-time graduate programs at the University of Cambridge

Deadline to apply: Mid-October (for US citizens in the US); December or January (for all else)

Link

Marshall Scholarship

Eligibility requirements: Senior in college or recent college graduate; minimum 3.70 unweighted GPA; endorsement from President, Provost, or Academic Dean of undergraduate institution

Country of origin: Global (minus UK); undergrad degree must be obtained in US

What the program covers: Full cost of tuition for up to 2 years of postgraduate study at any university in the UK, plus monthly living stipend and allowances

Deadline to apply: Late September

Link

Chevening Scholarships

Eligibility requirements: An unconditional offer from an eligible master’s course at any UK university; at least 2 years of work experience

Country of origin: Global (minus UK)

What the program covers: Full funding (tuition, room, and board) for any 1-year master’s program in the UK

Deadline to apply: Early November

Link

Knight-Henessy Scholarship

Eligibility requirements: First bachelor’s degree must have been obtained no earlier than 7 years prior to the year of enrollment

Country of origin: Global

What the program covers: Full tuition, plus a living stipend, for up to 3 years of graduate study at Stanford University

Deadline to apply: Early October

Link

Upakar Scholarship

Eligibility requirements: At least one parent born in India; family adjusted gross income <$90,000; minimum 3.6 unweighted high school GPA

Country of origin: US

What the program covers: Up to $2,000 per year for undergraduate studies

Deadline to apply: Late April

Link

APIA Scholarship Program

Eligibility requirements: Minimum 2.7 unweighted high school GPA; preference given to students coming from low socioeconomic backgrounds

Country of origin: US

What the program covers: Minimum one-time $2,500 award for undergraduate studies; maximum $20,000 for undergraduate studies

Deadline to apply: Late January

Link

SEED Scholarship

Eligibility requirements: At least one parent of Indian ancestry; minimum 3.0 unweighted high school GPA

Country of origin: US

What the program covers: $10,000 for undergraduate studies (tuition only)

Deadline to apply: March 1

Link

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collegecoward · 2 years

Text

Creating the perfect organisation system

Click for better quality and zoom in.

This one’s been a while in the making and went through a few revisions, but here it is finally! I took a different approach to this post in both design and writing. Hope it will be helpful for you all! :)

All text and graphics are created by me, Sal @blueplaidstudies.

☞ studygram

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collegecoward · 2 years

Text

I have $24 to last me til Friday, what should I buy with it?

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collegecoward · 2 years

Note

Sorry if you answered this already, but do you have any tips for finding colleges to apply to? I have a long list of colleges in my area, but I don't really know which ones I should look into.

How to Pick a College to Attend

1. Who to talk to. Who is safe and has information I need.

2. What order to do things in.

You have your list of colleges--that’s a great start! I'd start by organizing yourself based on what you know about these schools and what you learn as you go.

Play around with the choosing-a-college sites like Cappex or the College Board.

Get on those colleges websites and pretend like your scrolling through Instagram or browsing on Amazon. You’re shopping for a school you like, is all.

Please feel free to copy this spreadsheet I made and edit it with whatever you want!

3. What to think about.

Here are some things to think about when you’re sorting colleges by ones you like and ones you don't:

Is this a good school for my major?

Are there opportunities I like at this school?

Is this a competitive school for me?

Is this a school that meets my needs, spiritually or demographically?

Is this school the right size I'm looking for?

What's the campus like? Where is it?

How much might this school cost?

Academics

Culture

Public schools or private? And if they're private schools, are you interested in schools with strong religious affiliations, or more secular vibes?

Environment

Cost

Does your state give aid if you go to certain schools?

You can do this. I believe in you.

#college #uni #appblr #collegeblr #student #advice

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collegecoward · 3 years

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hi! i was wondering if you have any tips to stay organized and stay on task? i’ve been doing a short online course this year and have really struggled to ACTUALLY bring myself to do the work, as assignments and lessons are not under any time constraints i just don’t do it. i also have adhd so get bored or distracted easily. do you have any tips for me?

This is really close to me because I also have ADHD. I have both inattentive and hyperactive type. *As a result, this academic tip guide will be a guide for people with ADHD and not neurotypical people, without disability. There is a difference.*

I am doing online as well this semester.

1. I create a schedule. If I do not create a schedule, I will be unproductive the entire day. So, what will help you is to do things in orderly fashion.

For example, at 12p - I will do this assignment/watch this lecture. You have to dictate what time you’re doing everything. Then, you also have to block out technology distractions while you are working.

-> Even if you’ve gotten halfway through the day with no schedule, write down or block off times on your digital calendar for what you are going to do at each time. ADHD is easier to tackle if you break things down into smaller tasks.

*Pro tip that I almost forgot: before you do anything, wear your day clothes. Don’t wear pajamas. Actually getting dressed or even doing hair/makeup changes things.

2. Download the Forest app after you have created your schedule. I consistently recommend this because it works in increasing productivity. It allows you to set it for however long you’re doing this task, say 30 minutes.

-> Why?: It will block all apps on your phone for (insert time here) to plant a tree, and if you leave the app your “tree” will die. Eventually, the more sessions you do, the more points you will gain to plant different plants, and eventually plant real trees around the world.

3. Have a list (& a planner) as well. Not only is the schedule creating structure, but the list creates even more structure so you know what you need to get done for the day. It also helps you not fall victim to the classic symptom of forgetting. Each day, you should write down what you WANT to get done and create your own times to look at lecture and assignments. Have goals for the day.

For example: complete assignment 2.

If you do not have expectations with yourself before the day begins, your ADHD will kind of take over and do something else. I have structure to my day. I set a timer to wake up at the same time. I take my ADHD medicine 90 minutes before my final wake up time, and I do my morning routine once it kicks in. Having the same routine helps.

-> Focus on your goals. Don’t be super harsh about the times.

-> Don’t overwhelm with how many things on to do list. Again, break it up into small tasks. For example, one part being: Wash dishes or fold laundry. It makes it less overwhelming to your brain and gives you a choice of which task. Typical non ADHD people just tell you to prioritize tasks but that doesn’t work for us. Do it in a random order and it gets the job done.

4. TAKE BREAKS! The other side to this is making sure that you give yourself adequate breaks.

*For hyperfocus, wait til your hyperfocus has started to wear off. Use it to your advantage for peak productivity. It is no joke.*

-> The misconception is that some people with ADHD are lazy and as a result, some ADHDers won’t take breaks. You can take a break. Healthy, long breaks do more for you long term.

-> Have a timer set. For example, after a 45 minute session or an hour session, I will take a break to do another task that has nothing to do with studying, like laundry, eating a snack, or stretching. Then after that task is done, I will go back to studying.

5. Have a workspace. Only do work at this space. I do schoolwork at my living room table and it is perfect. I do not study in my room because that is my sanctuary for relaxation and rest, not productivity. Make an effort to make the workspace clean, with your supplies - laptop, notebooks, pens, etc - readily available.

-> Once I get to my workspace, everything for the morning is already done. I’ve done my morning routine, so all there is left to do is hydrate while I study.

6. Recognize if you have adequate energy to do the task. Sometimes, with ADHD you may neglect your needs. If you are not getting enough rest, here are some tips:

•Bed should be for rest only.

•Blackout curtains

•Lavender essential oil, I have a diffuser but you can also put it on your pillow

•Background noise: pick what you want, lo fi music, rain sounds, binaural beats, singing bowls

•If all else fails, ADHD is often comorbid with other illnesses, meaning you could have a form of depression causing insomnia for example. This should be considered if you are having long term issues and symptoms.

7. Don’t overdo it. We are not neurotypical. Executive dysfunction is real - meaning our brains actually shut down when it perceives a task to be mundane.

-> You do not have to fit everything into one schedule for the sake of being “productive”. Each day should be what you know you can do, and there are different days to tackle different goals.

-> When you feel like you cannot continue, which is literally a symptom of ADHD, sit still for a few minutes.

8. Have a “What I Did Today” List. Because of how ADHD actually makes us feel, we don’t realize how much work we have put in. ADHD actually can be explained easily, we have about 2 dopamine workers showing up to work while most people are at maximum capacity. We are working overtime to do our best, even on medicine. So, acknowledging what we did today is good and encouraging, or at least reflecting in a journal.

9. Play music. It’s recommended to play study music without words because with ADHD we will submerge ourselves into the playlist of nostalgic 90s R&B. I recommend lo fi hip hop on YouTube, video game instrumentals, classical music, or jazz instrumentals. Whatever gets you going just do it!

General ADHD tips:

•Rewrite lecture notes and type the lecture notes.

•Color code with bright colors and pretty drawings or calligraphy

•Instead of telling yourself “I need to take notes” which usually leads to procrastination say “Rewrite lecture notes and emphasize main points” ... this is useful in your to do list but in everyday goals

•Generally try to get your assignments done ahead of time if there is structure to certain courses, if not, again, stick to the schedule. If you slip one day off your schedule then don’t beat yourself up. Breathe!!!

•Side effect of most ADHD meds is that you’re not hungry so buy easy things to eat like muscle milk or yogurt and granola or smoothies so you can sustain yourself

•Get a dry erase board to show what you need to do for the day and put it on the fridge with command strips

•To avoid forgetting things, put them at a table near the door where you leave your apartment/dorm/house.

•Don’t overthink the time it takes to get ready, often that’s why ADHDers are late. Better to be super early than late though - have a routine set so you know how long each task takes - for example “I know a shower takes me 15 mins, washing my face takes 60 seconds and a few more including sunscreen/moisturizer, etc...”

•In that same grain, set timers for going to the bathroom, showering, etc just in case you one day hyperfocus and push yourself too far

•Open the blinds!!!!

•Clean your room and tidy up your space. A cluttered space impacts your mental health in a really negative way. Your space reflects your mental state at times as well, so check in with yourself. Have a specific day where you know you’re going to clean, but ADHD sometimes gives us bursts of cleaning so take advantage of that as well.

•Anytime your water bottle empties refill it. Have your water bottle or mason jar next to your workspace, and drink 5-10 gulps. Seriously. ADHD depends a lot on hydration, especially if you are on medicine which naturally dehydrates you. If you do not stay hydrated, you’ll get that massive headache mid day and crash sooner. A lot of times, lack of productivity can be due to not drinking enough water.

•If you don’t take medication, then sometimes you may notice you love coffee, and that’s because it’s a stimulant. Too much of anything is not good, but balance it with water. If you’re going to use coffee to kinda “medicate” then do it close to when you’re going to be productive.

•Setting yourself up to do a task rather than envisioning the overwhelming act of doing the entire action. “Okay, lets just get up and get the first step down, such as opening the laptop or wetting the toothbrush.” Baby steps.

•Take advantage of accommodations! Your college more than likely has an Office of Disability Services. Also, email your professors...they’re actually just as stressed as you about classes being online.

•Remember that you’re already trying as hard as you can, so don’t listen to the narrative of “try harder”, “you’re *r word*”, “you’re cheating by using medication”, “just do it,” “it’s easy,” “what’s so hard about it?” or “you’re lazy”. Anyone telling you that, even yourself, is wrong. And DO NOT allow anyone to be ableist, even yourself.

•Validate yourself. Don’t let anyone to do the “I experience that too”/“I know what you mean”/“we ALL have trouble with this!” and they don’t have ADHD. No. It’s our experience, it’s valid, and unlike anything on the planet. If you’re reading this and you don’t have ADHD - no, you do not experience any of the things in my next bullet point.

•Don’t be hard on yourself if you stumble along the way getting this right. ADHD completely changes your executive functioning.

We see the task, but our brain blocks it.

We have something marked down as “important” but our brain tosses it out in the “trash”.

We watch an entire episode of a show, but our brain ignored the entire thing. Our brain picks and chooses what is stimulating, our brain changes our interests.

We have sensory overload, we have no dopamine, we have bursts of curiosity that cannot be contained (often inconvenient) and if interrupted, our brains cannot take it.

People often discount how many things ADHD actually changes because it’s widely misunderstood. I want to take the time to acknowledge that ADHD, formerly known as simply ADD, has different types: primarily inattentive, primarily hyperactive-impulsive, or combined which is what I have. So it’s not “hyper” and “relatable”. It is also not a buzzword to use to describe things. I must put stereotypes and misrepresentations of ADHD to rest.

It impacts us emotionally as well, which most people don’t know... such as rejection dysphoria — extreme sensitivity to being criticized to where our brains self destruct. Our brains don’t regulate emotions well.

ADHDers - do not fall victim to how everyone else operates and call yourself a failure. We have to work twice as hard and the results actually come out brilliant especially with our determination and imaginative ideas that are also seen in autistic individuals, honorable mention!

There’s good days and bad days. There’s literal changes in thinking that other people do not experience. We all collectively know wouldn’t be who we are without ADHD, but we all recognize the challenges. However, it makes me happy to see messages like this so that I can make a difference and hopefully help one person with ADHD, especially of color, at a time stop being so hard on themselves. 💗

#Real talk!!!!

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collegecoward · 3 years

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How to Live With Roommates Without Losing Your Sanity

1. Focus on hunting for roommates, not apartments. Your roommates are going to be some of the most important relationships in your entire life. These people will know all your weird quirks and secrets. They’ll know that you like to put ketchup on your ice cream, they’ll know exactly how often you bring home cute strangers from the bar, and they will know exactly what it sounds like when you do your best Rihanna impression in the shower. Having roommates is the closest you can come to being married without having to shop for a ring, but most of us spend less time choosing potential roommates than we do choosing one-night-stands on Tinder. When we shop for apartments, we mostly focus on the features of the apartments themselves, and not the other people who live in them. This is a huge mistake. Whether or not you have an extra 30 square feet of floor space or an automatic dishwasher is not going to have nearly the same impact on your quality of life as whether or not your roommate displays human compassion and pays their bills on time. Focus on the roommates.

2. Don’t assume that a good friend will make a good roommate. When you’re looking for a roommate, it’s really tempting to turn to a random buddy of yours and decide that the two of you should live together, because you both share a deep love of getting high and watching Great British Bake Off. Don’t do this. Or at the very least, think long and hard about whether you and your friend are actually compatible roommates - some of the worst roommate horror stories happen when you move in with a dear friend, only to realize that they are a slovenly human being who grates on your nerves. Friend-roommates are much more likely to feel comfortable using your things without asking or being late on their bills, and it’s harder to tell your friend to get their shit together than it is to say the same thing to a roommate you don’t know as well. Tread carefully. 3. Don’t pretend to be something you’re not when you’re looking for roommates. My university has a database of graduate students looking for roommates, and every single one of the 600+ people listed on it has indicated that they are “neat” or “very neat”. I can guarantee that that’s complete bullshit. There’s not a chance that there are zero messy people in a group of 600+ academics in their early 20s, and you can’t hide that part of yourself forever. When you’re looking for roommates, it can be really tempting to say what you think people want to hear - that you make absolutely zero noise, that you never come home drunk, and that you spend all your free time scrubbing. Put your best foot forward, but be realistic - it’s okay to say “I keep common areas clean, but my own bedroom is usually a little cluttered”. Be honest. 4. Make a chore chart. This seems like an incredibly juvenile thing to do, but it can really help keep things running smoothly. Decide as a group how often you think certain chores need to be done, and how you’re going to get them done. If one of you would prefer to always clean the bathroom and the other to always do the floors, great. If you’d prefer to rotate all the chores, great. Just find an arrangement that feels fair, and keeps the apartment at a level of cleanliness you can all live with. Without a chart, it often falls to one person to keep the apartment from turning into a toxic waste dump, and that can lead to a lot of resentment. Make a schedule, and stick to it. 5. Decide how you are going to split shared costs. Unless you plan on hoarding your own toilet paper in your bedroom, you and your roommates are going to be sharing a lot of things - dish soap, cleaning products, paper towels, even silly things like salt and pepper. How are you going to pay for those costs in a way that’s fair? Is it okay for one roommate to go out and buy things on their own and then ask for reimbursement? Do they have to ask first? Some households keep a jar that everyone puts money into weekly, and the money all goes to shared costs - that’s a fair solution that can work well for everyone. 6. Discuss important needs and rules right at the start of the arrangement. It’s much better to get all the really fundamental things out in the open on Day One - it’s more comfortable for everyone if you can avoid issues, rather than apologize for them later. I have a severe shellfish allergy; I had to make it clear to my roommates from the start that they had to use extreme caution if they brought shellfish into the apartment. It was better to discuss that in advance than have them find out by putting me in the hospital. One of my roommates is a very light sleeper, and needs the rest of us not to bang pots and pans around in the kitchen after a certain hour - the rest of us respect that so she can wake up on time for work. Lay out your needs right from the start, instead of allowing annoyances to fester into an argument.

7. Learn to pick your battles. Occasionally, you are going to want to murder at least one of your roommates. That’s just what happens when you live in close quarters with other human beings. Maybe they eat your leftovers, or leave hair in the shower, or track mud across the floors you just cleaned. It’s tempting to seek out swift retribution and justice every time your roommate wrongs you, but constantly picking at your roommate for small annoyances is going to make your household tense and hostile fairly quickly. When your roommate leaves wet towels on the floor, take a deep breath, and ask yourself whether it’s really easier to angrily confront your roommate, or just pick the towels up yourself. Obviously if there’s an ongoing pattern, things should be addressed, but everyone has occasional bad days and forgetful moments. Try to cut them some slack.

8. Set rules for overnight guests. Everyone has a horror story about a roommate whose significant other just casually moved in and started taking over the household without washing a single dish or contributing a cent. Decide in advance what the rules are for overnight guests. How often can you have them? How long can someone stay before they have to start pitching in? How far in advance do you have to notify your roommates that someone is coming? My best friend used to live with a roommate who frequently gave out copies of their keys to people she’d dated for less than two weeks, which is a fantastic way to make yourself the victim of a home invasion. What are the rules on making keys for someone? The clearer these expectations are, the less likely you are to be surprised by an unwanted extra roommate. 9. Don’t confront a roommate about a problem when you’re worked up. If you need to talk to your roommate about a problem you’re having with them, don’t do it when you’re angry enough to shove them off the fire escape. Give yourself time to calm down - go for a walk, be alone in your room for a while, get out with some friends, sleep on the problem overnight. Wait until you and your roommate are both feeling calm and have free time for a heart-to-heart discussion. You’re much more likely to have a difficult (but useful) conversation that ends in some kind of compromise, rather than an all-out brawl that ends in broken dishes. 10. Hang out with your roommates from time to time. Find things you can do together. Watch a TV show together. Go out to a bar now and then, if that’s your thing. Cook a meal and sit down for dinner as a group. It’s a lot easier to deal with another person’s quirks if you actually like them as a person. Take some time out from your busy week to bond and build a positive relationship. Ask your roommates about their lives, and keep up with what’s going on with them. Your roommates are like a second family, and you’re more likely to have a happy household when you take the time to show each other that you care.

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collegecoward · 3 years

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So, my financial aid might get cancelled. I am planning on writing an appeal letter to get it back (I have incredibly bad eyesight and am using the disability services for it, plus I have learning disability). Everything is a mess. If the appeal isn't excepted and I lose everything (including loans) I will have no other way to pay for college. I can barely pay out of pocket. And If my parents were to find out they would kick me out. Any advice? How often are appeals accepted?

My financial aid has been taken away. What now?

I’m sorry this is happening to you. I wish I could tell you the likelihood of success of your appeal, but I think it depends on a lot of factors, namely your circumstances and the reason why your aid was taken away. I can say that I know by first-hand experience that appeals are real and they can really work, but again—it depends.

There are several reasons why aid can be taken away or reduced, some include:

clerical errors

conflicting financial aid policies

taking less/more than a full-time schedule

lower grades

disciplinary reasons

I’m guessing you know why your aid was revoked, but if you don’t, call the financial aid office to find out! If you don’t know what you’re arguing about, you probably won’t get your money back. Whatever the case, here are things you can do:

1. Understand your rights and responsibilities

Usually when you apply for a scholarship or a loan, the application will have a statement telling you what you need to do to keep the money and for what reasons the amount could be reduced. You’ll want to be aware of these policies so that you can abide by them. If for some reason you have abided by these policies and your aid is still being taken away, you can use those policies to defend yourself.

You mentioned you’re afraid of your parents finding out. I’m so sorry you’re in this situation, and I’m going to do my best to give you guidance.

In the U.S., the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA) makes it harder for parents to obtain your records once you’re in college, but if you’re filed as a dependent on your parents’ taxes, they can access your records. Normally, this means that if your parents are going to file a 1098-T tax form (which is provided by your college), the form shows how much you paid for college and includes the total scholarship amount you received.

However, unless they have some other reason to request your financial aid information, your parents might not even see that you’ve lost that money until next year. I don’t know if that’s the best course of action for you, but it could at least buy you some time.

If you believe you’re in danger of being kicked out of your home, please seek resources from your college, your state, local charities, and your social circle. @yournewapartment has posts about this and about moving out in general. I’d encourage you to look through their index!

2. Write a compelling appeal letter

If your grades or credit hours are too low to qualify for your aid, explain what happened. Explain that you’re a student with disabilities who has great capacity to learn. You’ll want the financial aid office to be sympathetic and understand how difficult things have been. At the same time, we know how ableism often colors abled people’s perceptions of disabled people’s ability to succeed and persevere and whatnot. You will want to sound confident that if they give you this money, you’ll put it to good use.

What steps are you taking to make sure your grades get better? Why is it necessary for you to be a part-time student? What does this financial aid mean for your education? What does it mean if you were to lose this aid?

You may want to say that you are in danger of being kicked out. I think it’s important, but I’m cautious to recommend this because of FERPA’s limited power. You may want to say how important your education is to your family. Most importantly, be honest and persuasive. Don’t doubt your potential or your struggle.

3. Meet with your financial aid counselor

Before or after you submit your appeal, call your financial aid office to speak with a real live human, and try to ensure that the person you’re speaking to has authority in these matters or can advocate on your behalf. Be polite, let them know you’re submitting an appeal and you just wanted to ask a few questions or touch base with them about it. This can help you get more information and give the counselors/administrators a reason to pay attention to you and sympathize with you on a more personal level.

4. Get new accommodations

A reduction in required credit hours is actually an accommodation you can get from your college’s office of disability services. This way, you could be taking less than full-time credits and still qualify for the same financial aid as a full-time student. If you need this accommodation, reach out to your accommodations coordinator and let them know what’s going on.

If your financial aid was revoked because of bad grades, you might also want to look at changing your accommodations. For example, if you didn’t want extra exam time because you thought you didn’t need it, maybe now you do need it. Each class is different from the next, and you’ll need different tools to cope. There’s absolutely no shame in that.

5. Look into other funding sources

Your university might have alternative funding sources, such as emergency loans or scholarships with more relaxed criteria. Scholarships.com has a good list of external scholarships, but you do have to go through the whole application process for each scholarship, which takes time. Private loans through a bank or financial service like Discover may also be a faster option, though I’d avoid loan companies like Sallie Mae. Private lenders will likely want a cosigner, although it doesn’t have to be a parent. Also remember to only borrow as much as you truly need.

I hope that helps! I do the best I can to answer questions with limited information, so let me know if I’m missing anything here, or if you don’t understand something I’ve said. I really, truly want what’s best for you, and I’m rooting for you. If you want me to look over your appeal letter, feel free to email me at [email protected].

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collegecoward · 3 years

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Hey, so I graduated this past May and since then I've just been working 40 hours a week. I feel like I need to go to college to do something with my life but I feel like theres so much in my way and I havent done anything to even start and I dont have a clue what I'd want to do. I'm so unsure on how to do anything regarding financial aid or even applying to colleges. I'm also worried that it wouldn't work with my schedule for my job. I work 5 days with 2 off days and I'm on evenings so I feel like I wouldn't be able to balance work and school, but I would have to bc I'm my only financial support. Sorry for the dumping my problems, but any advice?

How To Do College 101

Congratulations on your graduation! Working a full-time job after graduation (during a freaking pandemic, no less) is no small feat either, and I applaud you for that, too. Once upon a time, I was like you: I didn’t know anything about college except that I wanted to go, and now I run a blog telling people how to go to college. College might be strange and unfamiliar now, but in time, you will learn how to do it!

This might be my longest post, so strap in for a fun ride!! My answer comes to you in three parts:

How To Do Community College

How To Do University

How To Do Financial Aid

P.S. I’m going to say this only once, but feel free to ask why: Do not attend a for-profit college. Okay, now onto the basics!

How To Do Community College

I encourage you to read my Ode to Community College. Community colleges are real colleges designed for people who are low on funds, are working or have other responsibilities, don’t know what they want to study yet, and/or don’t know how college works yet.

Step 1: Applying

Community colleges accept anyone who applies, and the application is usually just like filling out a job application, but you will also need to send in your high school transcript, and I recommend sending any test scores. Your college may have you take a placement test to see if you’re ready for college. If you’re not quite ready, they may have you take some pre-college courses in English or math before you officially start a degree program.

Step 2: Choosing a Degree Program

Among other things, community colleges award associate’s degrees, which are essentially the first two years of a bachelor’s degree at a four-year college or university. You’ll take introductory classes like English, math, science, and social sciences, as well as electives (i.e. fun classes). Here’s a list of programs that might be offered at your community college.

Step 3: Taking the Right Classes

Make sure you stick to your college’s degree plan so that you take classes that 1) count toward your associate’s degree and 2) will transfer to a university. Most classes you take for an associate’s degree (AA, AS, or AFA) should transfer to a bachelor’s degree (BA, BS, or BFA) easily enough, but sometimes universities aren’t very transfer-friendly. The best option is to transfer to a university that has a partnership with your community college, which is information you should be able to find on your community college’s website. If your community college doesn’t have any partners, you’ll want to research the transfer policies at the universities you’re interested in and follow their guidelines on what classes to take.

Step 4: Transferring

In your last year of community college, you will apply to a four-year college or university for your bachelor’s degree. You’ll need to pick a major when you apply because for the next two years, that’s what you will be studying. Make sure you tour the university before you attend and get acclimated before your first day!

How To Do University

Whether or not you attend community college for the first two years or enroll directly into a four-year college or university, you’ll want to understand how to navigate the basics as early as possible.

Step 1: Exploring Your Options

Use my Self-Reflection Toolkit and this quiz from Marquette University to explore potential majors. These are just meant to get you thinking and guide you as you learn more about yourself and your interests. This process will take time to research and figure out, and if you enroll directly into a four-year college you can change your major after you apply. As I mentioned, the first two years are mostly basics and figuring stuff out, so either way you have time.

I was very bad at choosing colleges to apply to and applied almost at random. I learned a lot from those mistakes, and on my FAQ page you’ll see me trying to impart that wisdom on others. I recommend doing your research, going on virtual tours, and getting used to just looking at college websites, even if you don’t know what you want yet. Start by window shopping for colleges in your state and see what they have to offer you. College Board also has tools for finding a college that fits your needs. It’s worth starting as early as possible, and I know that you can do it. Like I said, I was really bad at it and I still made it through.

Step 2: Applying

Applying to a four-year college will take more steps than a community college application. Many colleges require letters of recommendation, essays, and application fees (look on their websites for fee waivers). More information is on my FAQ page, of course, but be prepared to complete these steps before application deadlines. Each college sets its own deadline, but if you want to go next year, you’ll likely need to apply by January or February. Applying can be daunting, but you will need to do it at some point, even if you go to community college first.

Step 3: Finding Resources

Access any and all resources your university offers, which will include advising, counseling, career services, and more. The same is true at a community college, but I would argue it’s even more true at a university. You might find out about internships, research opportunities, fun events, and all that stuff that excited you when you saw it on your university’s website! Even if you don’t feel like you need resources, you’re paying for them, so you might as well use them! Often people won’t know how to help you unless you tell them you’re struggling, like how you told me what you’re going through and I wrote a post that’s turning into a short novel! (I’ll be done soon, I promise.)

Step 4: Taking The Right Classes

Just like at a community college, you want to make sure you’re taking classes that count toward your degree and interest you. Make sure you’re following the prescribed degree plan on your university’s website and communicated by your advisor. If you find that you’ve chosen a major that doesn’t fit your interests, make sure you speak with your professors, your advisor, and anyone else whose opinion you trust.

How To Do Financial Aid

Step 1: Understanding The Basics

There are three major types of financial aid: loans (money you have to pay back after you graduate), grants (government money you’re awarded based on your financial need that you don’t have to pay back), and scholarships (money from a college or other source that is awarded for any reason that you don’t have to pay back). Loans might come from the government, your college, or a bank. I recommend borrowing from the federal government because the interest is so low (basically, it’s cheaper to pay off than a bank loan).

Step 2: Filling Out FAFSA

If you want to go to college next fall, or if you just want to do a practice round, fill out FAFSA now. I’m assuming you’re under 24, so you will need your parents’ tax information even if they’re not going to help you pay for college. Filling out FAFSA will never, not ever ever ever require you or your parents to take out any loans. Rather, FAFSA gives you access to any need-based financial aid you might be eligible for, whether that aid comes from the government or not. Loans agreements are a totally separate form, and you can take some loans without your parents’ help. If you’re not eligible for FAFSA, check whether your state or college has its own FAFSA alternative.

Step 3: Reading Your Award Letter

After a college sends an acceptance letter, they will also send a financial aid award letter. The letter will show you how much you’ve been awarded in scholarships and grants and how much you can take out in loans from the federal government or the college itself. You should compare your financial aid amount to the total cost of attendance, will you can find on the college’s financial aid webpage. The total cost of attendance is how much it costs to pay for tuition, fees, housing, and a rough estimate of your other living expenses. Basically, it’s how much it costs to be a student for one year.

As you said, I wouldn’t expect you to be able to work 40 hours while maintaining good grades, so may need to be frugal and creative to fill in any gaps financial aid didn’t cover. Private colleges tend to have a really big “sticker price,” but may offer generous scholarships as discounts, whereas public colleges tend to be cheaper and may have (large and small) scholarships to help you pay.

Step 4: Applying

In addition to the scholarships that you may be automatically awarded if you meet certain criteria, your colleges may also have scholarships that you have to apply for by yourself. This information will be located on a college’s financial aid webpage. There are also scholarships from nonprofit organizations and businesses. Visit my resources page for info, ask people you know if they’re aware of any scholarships, ask your boss and coworkers, and ask Google for “scholarships in [your town].”

Okay, I threw a lot at you, but those are the basics as I see them! You can totally do this. It’s going to be a big learning curve, but the payoffs will be big. And you can always come back here for more advice and reassurance. I’m proud of you already for thinking of your future and doing what you can to support yourself and your learning.

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