connie-banana

[connie-banana]

guys I just found the greatest video on the internet

[connie-banana]

When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.

[connie-banana]

why is your cat green?

She’s built different 😌

[connie-banana]

character in a movie: Oh no, angry dog, please don’t bite me!

the dog: I’m at work! I’m doing so good at being at work! I’m barking because my handler gave the sign ‘bark’! I am going to get such a good grade in being a dog actor, which is completely possible to achieve, and normal to want! I am doing a great job! I am proud of myself for doing such a great job! I love this, because I’d make it physically impossible to get anything done if I wasn’t enjoying it! I’m barking!

[connie-banana]

god I fucking love strawberries

[connie-banana]

teabag_cartoon

#mentally I am always 3

[connie-banana]

*places an orange just outside a fairy ring to see what comes out* science is more of an art than a science

[connie-banana]

So I just saw a post by a random personal blog that said “don’t follow me if we never even had a conversation before” and?????? Not to be rude but literally what the fuck??????????

I’ve had people (non-pornbots) try to strike conversation out of nowhere in my DMs recently, and now I’m wondering if they were doing that because they wanted to follow me and thought they needed to interact first. I feel compelled to say, just in case, that it’s totally okay to follow this blog (or my side blog, for that matter) even if we’ve never talked before.

Also, I’m legit confused. Is this how follow culture works right now? It was worded like it’s common sense but is that really a thing?

[connie-banana]

[connie-banana]

rb this and tell me what ur accent is. this has no purpose except the fact i just realized i could have like... mutuals with cockney accents or newfoundland accents or something and thats just wild

#British #Sound like I'm in an episode of Doctor Who

[connie-banana]

op turned off reblogs on this post for safety reasons but gave me permission to repost it because it's an important message.

[connie-banana]

My love, I got rid of my twitter account, deleted my facebook, posted 3 photos of statues on my instagram and never touched it again.

I'm not even sure if livejournal or myspace still exist, never bothered with snapchat or vine and I absolutely refuse, on the basis that I am in my God Damn Thirties to even touch tiktok.

I am in no contact with anyone I went to highschool, university or catering college with- nothing against them, I wish them well, but my time with them is over and I am no longer the person they knew. You weirdos are more privy to my life then they will ever be.

I am free of the obligation we seem to assigned ourselves to broadcast our lives for all to see.

The world is still a shit show, but taking that burden away from myself counts as one of the best decisions I ever made on my own behalf.

the world could be so beautiful. delete twitter

#also fuck Elon

[connie-banana]

To The Person Who Walked Past The Window - Jordan Bolton

My first book ‘Blue Sky Through the Window of a Moving Car’ is now available to pre-order! Get it here - https://smarturl.it/BlueSky

[connie-banana]

And then masterbate.

I know this is a tiny part of the wider problems born of diet culture, fatphobia, classicism, and racism but like god the idea that "healthy" food must inherently taste bad has completely ruined us as a society.

[connie-banana]

Dorothy

Scarecrow

Toto

Tin Man

Ok Season 2, so who's our Cowardly Lion character?

#norm maclean #fallout tv show

[connie-banana]

"I don't need a shopping list; with effort, I will remember that I need this item"

Okay but will you be able to remember that you already bought it? Because apparently I can't.

[connie-banana]

#we appear to have made Yellowstone..