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[containsxmultitudes]

Hello, friends. It’s... been a while. And I don’t regret the space I’ve taken. There will still be space that I frequently take from it because I feel better that way. 

I did originally say the hiatus would be indefinite. I ended up in a good, but strange headspace about that. Which is to say, I rebooted Nick again. But with a twist on how I plan on running it in comparison to how I have before. Because it’s quite different. 

But I feel any amount of even infrequent writing over there would be more beneficial to my creativity and mental health as a whole. As for the most part, it is a blog essentially meant to comfort and be gentle on me unless I’m feeling some kind of way about it.

It’s meant to be healing.

I don’t know which people will see it and think to follow, and I’m not particularly concerned either way, as I don’t necessarily plan on being high activity. But I liked the thought and decided “why not?” I don’t think I’ll reblog this too many times, it’s not a huge deal. And I’ll follow close friends initially as is for whenever I feel like posting or sending in a meme or whatever.

But if you’d like to follow the new Nick blog it’s over at @thehealingvessel ​

#self promo #but like low-key #because it's not a huge deal #if you kinda feel like you've moved on I understand #I kinda did too #and if you just don't like having low-post blogs around #that's fine as well #you are under no obligation to follow me here #I get you #but the option is there #outofscars

[containsxmultitudes]

Hey y’all! It’s been about a month since I posted anything. I still lurk about here and there to make sure I’m not missing someone saying hello. But I’ve been considering making this post for a few days and I decided it’s time to just do so.

Consider this post an official indefinite hiatus.

As it stands before this point, being here has sometimes been a bit of a hit or miss on how it’s made me feel in recent months/the last year. I enjoy and adore the people I’m friends with and their characters, but it ended up being draining to attempt a lot of things if I wasn’t close to someone.

I love Nick, and I do love writing him. But it’s draining unless it’s with people privately who are genuinely interested, or it’s something I’m writing independently for myself.

Also I’ve been having a lot of fun over in my other writing group. It’s brought me back to a place where I feel my inspiration, creativity, and is making me feel a sense of satisfaction that I haven’t felt in a while. So it’s appropriate to say for now I’m on an indefinite hiatus.

I will lurk, I’ll occasionally read the brilliance on my dash, and I will say hi if someone else does. But unless you are truly and extremely interested in writing with Nick over IMs or discord, it will mostly be ooc hellos. Because that’s what I’m feeling.

I hope you’re all doing lovely, keep having a good time! I adore you!

#psa #I’m doing better than I’ve been in a while #so I’m safe and just imagine Nick is happy because he is #he’s passed the baton to my current character and is happy to watch that growth and be happy #outofscars

[containsxmultitudes]

Just so you’re aware, if you think that you’re funny? You are. Let yourself have that. With the idea of good of all, harm to none in mind, if you made yourself laugh and think, “hell yeah, I’m fucking hilarious.” It’s true and you should say it.

#I'm gonna say it about myself today #in my other writing group I've written up a thing #where my character is singing A.BBA's 'why did it have to be me' to a tree #because he thinks he's alone #and i have titled this thing 'why did it have to be tree' #and I'm gonna be honest #it's so funny #i'm mad funny and i should say it #outofscars

[containsxmultitudes]

You ever write something so spicy (not in the sexy way, necessarily, just like. It spices up some story bits) and suddenly you’re torn between you general self consciousness, and a sudden god complex about it. No middle ground.

Like yeah that slapped and now your story has more weight to it because of me. You’re welcome.

#like admittedly I’m overthinking it #but I spent so many hours on that response #and it instantly added weight to the whole thing #like without question #and my god complex is like ‘y’all needed me this time.’ #but realistically I’m also trying to be humble #but like I spiced some shit up in my other writing group and I think I should say it #ADD ON: like I do a pretty decent amount of reading books on story structure and what makes one good #and a very consistent one is some level of ‘you gotta up the ante at some point or it’s going to fall flat.’ #like it doesn’t have to be life or death shit every time #but ur fave romance tropes don’t hold as much satisfaction if there wasn’t a chance they wouldn’t come to fruition beforehand #also writing a story involves keeping promises #kind of like a chekov’s gun #if you put something there #and you put a possible result there #eventually the gun has to go off #or you have failed to keep your promise and now the story doesn’t feel satisfying because you left a big huge gun untouched #despite the fact that you made a deal out of the gun to begin with #I set off the chekov’s gun in a significant way #and I’m proud of myself #outofscars

[containsxmultitudes]

Pinned Link Post: Updated.

First thing to note: Hello, I’m Cecil, I use primarily they/them pronouns, but I’m not opposed to any others you could use in reference to me so long as you’re respectful about it. This blog is super low-activity, my priority at this time is my other writing group, I feel more connected to that right now. Which means if you send memes, it will take longer for me to respond, and I might be selective on which ones I respond to. (So you’re encouraged to send more than one meme at a time if you really want to interact tbh.) I do lurk, and I do check IMs, as well as being willing to give discord to people who’ve talked to me enough. I’ll be much quicker to say hello ooc than ic. But this is all low-activity for now.

This is a Nick blog, yes Lucifer’s vessel from SPN, no not at all like canon had him portrayed. I didn’t enjoy the characterization choices, and as such he will not at all be characterized like that unless specified otherwise for whatever reason. He’s completely different and essentially Canon-Averse in his divergence since I’ve written him for roughly 8 years now.

Carrd option HERE, Google docs options --> The Rules and Bio. All of that info is linked in my little bio thing, yes. I also have pages for them on my blog. But just in case you didn’t know, or didn’t really see them, or you’re on mobile, there are your options to read what you need.

And for funsies, here’s easy to reach reblogged MEMES PAGE.

#pinned post #Nick blog info #outofscars

[containsxmultitudes]

I apologize for not being around as much. I’ve been vibing like hell in another writing community lately. And in a lot of ways i sometimes struggle to be here because it somehow feels lonely these days for me. Though I can’t explain why.

But know that I do lurk, you’re all lovely and I’m happy to have you on my dash. I’m glad you’re all around even if I’m quiet about my own existence most days.

If ever you wanna just chat, because of the Lurking, I do check IMs and notifications for asks and things. So I’m open to chatting and saying hello as well as selective RP that feels good for all involved parties whether that’s meme based, random from your brain, or plot based. But I think I’m going to be extra selective about that side of things (not like private or anything. Just selective which things I’m willing to respond quickly to ic wise.)

I’d love to try and write Nick again more often, but I think if I’m going to do that I’m going to have to actively fresh-start myself on interactions so I don’t feel anxious that I’m “not doing enough.” So like officially any old threads of any length I’m dropping for my own sanity. New things are always cool. But only if you want, otherwise I’m happy to lurk and appreciate you all from the sidelines. But I do want to acknowledge my own existence more often OOC so it’s easier (or write weird little headcanons for my own fun) if I plan to write more often here.

And fuck it. I may just do RPs with myself from like my sideblogs or something from time to time for funsies as a start because it’s enjoyable to do sometimes. Or maybe I’ll lurk for a little longer and enjoy you from where I am. Regardless, I love you.

#honestly I might also send occasional memes that never have any obligation to continue unless desired #I love you and hope your holiday seasons are good #and if they’re not then I hope as the months progress #that you can move forward and do better in even the smallest ways #because you deserve good things #outofscars

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send ‘⌚’ for my muse to grow tired of waiting for any feelings to grow and just begin kissing your muse.

if you can’t see the symbol, send ‘watch emoji’!

#memes #sure give him a sudden kiss #just do it

[containsxmultitudes]

just finished Good Omens. And my opinion is A.) He asked the archangel michael for a rubber duck, and made them miracle him a towel and I think that was sexy of him. And B.) Oh my god these bitches gay. Good for them. Good for them.

#anyway #this show? slapped. #outofscars

[containsxmultitudes]

listen all I’m saying is that i’m watching the last couple episodes of Good Omens and,,,, A Crowley with nothing to lose is kinda hot.

#'if you gotta go then gO WITH STYLE' #David Tennant can Get It as Crowley #it's all I'm saying #outofscars

[containsxmultitudes]

It’s been quite a few days since I’ve posted anything. Been vibin with my other writing group. I’ve also been having a lot of struggles with anxiety and depression. Bits of loneliness.

Today/tomorrow is going to be especially lonely, though. Tomorrow is the first anniversary of my dad’s death. And I’m already feeling the sad feelings about it. So I feel inclined to tell all of you who follow me that I appreciate you, and even though I haven’t been around so much lately that I enjoy seeing you all on my dash. It’s always entertaining and the people I follow and who follow me are always good choices and I appreciate the points in my day where I can just read the dash and enjoy it.

#anxiety cw #depression cw #death cw #mental health cw #I’d post more but im really shitty at multitasking with RP things #so my attention has been elsewhere #but I appreciate you bastards for all that you do #im a sad Bitch. y’all make it easier #outofscars

[containsxmultitudes]

Useless headcanon-

While Nick is an eclectic person when it comes to music, like he’ll listen and jam to anything, there is one band he will, without fail, get very enthusiastically into... More than probably any other.

It’s ABBA. 

If you think he hasn’t had a dramatic moment with The Winner Takes It All, you’re wrong. Cause he has. Probably more than once. 

#headcanon #obviously he adores both Ma.mma M.ia and the second one as well #he thinks they both slap and you can fight him on that #but yeah #He has his dramatic Winner Takes It All moment #and his flirtatious Waterloo moment #sometimes when he's alone #other times with people he's trying to become friends with #outofscars

[containsxmultitudes]

I’ve had here and there vessel/host thoughts all day. And you know what? I realized I’ve never considered a thing. I always describe Nick’s experience with the celestial side of things as “singing” in his head when they’re around, or when a freed vessel is around. But like. I’m pretty sure the infernal side should probably have some in his head correlated effect that makes him aware of either the presence of an infernal being, or the presence of the scarring from one.

Celestial things sing. Smaller general angels are like something “in the same genre.” Other Archangels are “from the same album.” Lucifer himself is an unfortunate, matching harmony with what’s left.

Demons? It’s like humming. It can sound alright, but it kinda feels like vague tinnitus. Buzzing probably. Full on demons in the act probably also put a pin in his gut feeling that “this is Not Right.” the aftermath of it probably feels less like that, because he knows they’re not a demon. But it does hit something in him. Maybe anger or sadness that they had to experience it. Maybe confusion. Or all of the above.

#headcanon #idk i'm just fuckin' around to find out #don't even mind me rn #outofscars

[containsxmultitudes]

@soulsbreathed replied to THIS:

[ nick saying 'twinsies' is the serotonin i needed today ]

I’m gonna need you to imagine it said in slight deadpan tone, he’s barely looking up from the thing. He’s like, “oh same. Twinsies.” and then offers to show it to them once he finally IS looking at them properly. Cause he might as well be like, “you wanna see :D” and maybe they’re just a little too surprised to say no. And well. He’s lifting the pant leg up to show the tattoo on his ankle and he’s like, “yep. Did it myself. Pretty fuckin’ good if you ask me.”

#soulsbreathed #lmaooooo #i almost tagged your marvel blog #outofscars

[containsxmultitudes]

Also it has been way too long since Nick interacted with someone who was possessed (by angels, demons, or some other ethereal ass thing. Ghosts, maybe?) and I’m a stan for a good possession victim support group. It’s The Shit. It’s wholesome and healing and tbh I don’t know what to tell you.

#wishlist #outofscars #which mind you the headcanon on my blog is Nick kinda can see vessel scarring #because of an after affect of Lucifer #and because Lucifer is a being of both Heaven and hell #Nick can place both scars #and since ghost possession is still a spirit there is some left over things there too #he can also see unmasked angels or demons to some extent #not necessarily true forms #just like. the energy is distinct and sings to what’s left in him in some way #unless it’s masked in which case he cannot #but like yeah #Nick can sense possession soul scars #because they mirror his own

[containsxmultitudes]

u wanna know something I haven’t had Nick do, but I absolutely want to at some point? Talk to an unknowing hunter trying to get an anti-possession tattoo and they show him the design. Nick instantly understands either: this is a hunter. Or this is a fan of those really weird and obscure novels (which he once read out of morbid curiosity to know if he was mentioned in any of them.) and is like, “oh, no shit? I have one of those on my ankle in black light ink. Twinsies.” and they have to figure out what the fuck is up with him cause like yeah he looks kinda fucked up with the scars but he really isn’t saying anything about the hunter shit and what kind of confusing ass bitch???

#he tends to wait until either they ask him #or an opportunity comes up to say something that suggests he knows more than the average tattoo artist about that world #headcanon #wishlist #outofscars

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One of Nick’s favorite random little saucy daydreams to consider?-

A partner (who he maybe sleeps with, but definitely there’s a desire on all sides TO sleep together eventually regardless). He convinces them to let him give them a tattoo. And he offers it as a *wink wink* private session at night when it’s only them there together. It’s very clear on all sides that this is suggestive and there’s an option present.

So they go to his shop at night, he’s got them sitting in the tattoo chair, or on the little table thing, and he’s like, “haha, I don’t normally do it like this but it might be more comfortable, are you okay if I just...” And he like straddles their waist or whatever makes it that much more suggestive. And they’re agreeable to this. Hell they want this too. And if my meaning isn’t clear? They fuuuuck.

(And then Nick cleans everything up and sanitizes. He works with sharps and tattoos are kinda like artistic wounds on purpose. He doesn’t fuck about with the OSHA guidelines. But yeah he genuinely gives them a tattoo if they still down after the fact.)

#headcanon #nsfw text #suggestive cw #outofscars

[containsxmultitudes]

oh my god I’m such a ridiculous nervous WRECK.

#anxiety cw #this is a humorously neurotic moment #it's not bad in this instance #not exactly anyway #I'm just. sweating nervously #because i think too much #i decided to go back to my other writing group #writing that first goddamn post is truly nerve wracking #i'm just sitting here like ''is tHIS TOO MUCH???'' #because like i struggle to allow myself any form of just doin' it to 'em? #i'm like ''this is it. i'm finished. this is the end for me because this is so bad. it's so much info dumping?'' #except it's not #because this isn't the same as writing an independent story #RPing rarely is #and also i've seen other people do it #and it's actually not that fucking bad #i'm just a nervous piece of shit #because imposter syndrome is a BITCH #outofscars