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Another new chapter of "Afterlife":
A night full of shadows
Memories.
Expectations. 
Tears. 
Dreams. 
Wishes. 
Confusions. 
Hopes.
Support.
Loneliness can hurt terribly. The body increasingly cramps and sensations leave a dull feeling. 
The bottom line was that there were pluses, yet something was very wrong. 
So much time had passed, seeped into the soft soil of life, delicious seconds never to return. 
He moaned with pleasure, this dream had it all. Just before the climax, he awoke because he was shivering. He was not only shivering, he was freezing cold. 
It was gloomy around him. Still quite dazed from sleep and the erotic dream, he simply didn't know where he was for a moment.
Then suddenly he heard a voice, it sounded as if through absorbent cotton, only gradually the words penetrated clearly to his eardrums. 
"Sabah alkhayr habibi."
Dorian whirled around. He still saw nothing, but he felt a body beside him.
A pleasantly warm body. 
A hairy and soft body. 
A distinctively scented male body.
Suddenly someone switched on a small bedside lamp.
Did a small hysterical scream escape Dorian or was it the raging headache playing tricks on his imagination?
This was not the person he had thought of in his dreams just a short time ago.
And then again, "Sabah alkhayr habibi."
This time directly to his face. 
"How are you, Dorian?" 
Although Dorian's head was about to burst, he literally jumped out of bed. 
He abruptly became aware that he was standing in the room stark naked.
He quickly grabbed the pillow and pressed it in front of his exposed manhood. 
"Habibi? Are you okay? You seem confused. I'll give you a glass of water."
The young man in the bed, lifted the covers aside and slowly got out. Dorian saw that he, too, was completely naked. 
Adel reached next to his bedside table and lifted a water bottle from a backpack, with it he went to a small table where a water glass stood and poured some.
The young man took the half-full glass and walked over to Pavus in the half-light of the bedside lamp. With a mild smile he handed over the drink.
"No, thank you. Adel? What are you doing here? Or what am I doing here? Damn..." Dorian's teeth ground, he was so cold.
"Why don't you drink something first? It's the alcohol showing its after-effects." 
Dorian reached for the water and drank it down in one go.
"Thank you very much. But Adel... what happened? Gosh... I totally blacked out and I'm sure my brain will explode if I make one wrong move." Moaned Dorian. 
Adel sat down on the edge of the bed and looked up at Dorian kindly.
"We had a little fun last night and..." That was as far as he got.
"Fun!? We had fun? WE??" Dorian's heart raced, his pulse throbbed in his throat, his head vibrated with pain.
He dropped the pillow and ran to the window of the small room. With a little twist, the window was open and icy night air poured into the little mountain cabin room.
In and out! Dorian took a deep breath. The icy air didn't do his lungs much good, but his head cleared up. After a few minutes, he closed the window and turned to his colleague. 
"We had fun, Adel...I was hack full! I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry." Dorian rubbed the bridge of his nose with two fingers. 
"But I am not! You're a nice guy, Dorian. You're charming and a really great person. It's nice that we're more than colleagues now. Habibi." Adel smiled gently.
"Oh heavens..." Dorian frowned, trying to control himself and concentrate. 
"It's all right, Dorian. Come on, you're not master of your senses yet. Let's get some sleep first, we can talk more tomorrow. We're on vacation and quite honestly, I'm starting to get cold as fuck!" 
Adel was so nice and his laugh so charming. The younger man nimbly scrambled from the edge of the bed back to his side and covered himself. Then he tapped Dorian's spot a few times and beckoned him to join him.
And it didn't help. Dorian remembered by now that the cabin was overcrowded because of a sudden storm, unexpected guests rolling in, all asking for a place to camp for the night. 
So people who knew each other were grouped together, and Dr. Sharif and Dr. Pavus were the only men from the doctors' team who wanted to spend a few days' vacation here.
But Dorian would never have thought in his life that this would happen here. Yes, he knew about the homosexuality of his colleague. Although he had Arab roots, he had his coming out surprisingly early. Adel was a genuine open man, a true nerd at work, but always friendly and bubbly with colleagues. His competence in the team was convincing and people liked him. Well, some people he met in the course of his work did not get along with Sharif's open manner. Behind his back, people talked about him: an Arab (he was a second-generation Canadian by birth), a Muslim (religion meant much less to him than his beloved science), a doctor (he had worked hard for it), a gay man (yeah, so what?!) Dorian honored him as an absolutely reliable colleague and a smart head in the team, he was grateful for his hard work on the project "Beyond the mirage". He honored him as a human being, he thought he was great. But Dorian had no interest in a relationship or an affair, and Adel showed no physical interest in Pavus either. Dorian still had not come out of the closet, but had told Sharif at some point. It changed nothing at all in their cooperation. 
So what happened last night? Adel did not drink. Dorian, on the other hand, could vaguely remember drinking like a maniac. Up here in the snow and ice, without the stress of work, torrents of memories suddenly fell upon Dorian. Then there was this invasion of climbers asking for shelter. All this confusion, the voices, the inner loneliness that suddenly fell upon Pavus. He sought comfort in a few bottles of wine and harder things. At first a few of his colleagues drank with him, also some of the climbers, but soon it was too much for them. But Dorian's heart was still so empty, it really hurt him. He literally tried to fill it up. 
David. 
Hadn't he been talking to him, laughing with him, just a short time ago? Cassandra was now living with him with her little son, it seemed to be going very well for all three of them, David loved children so much and Cassandra was a heart of a person. 
Dorian was grateful, he knew his David was in good hands. 
His David.
Pavus liked this man so much. All the years of separation did not diminish one ounce of affection for this country bumpkin, as Maevaris used to dub him. Dorian was still in love with Trevelyan. Only he still could not say it. 
And now this!
Dorian had apparently had fun with another man. Oh Lord in heaven! Okay okay, Dorian often had fun with himself, thinking about David and afterwards he felt better. Years of separation was one point, sexual abstinence was another! Pavus didn't count masturbation as cheating, especially when he was thinking about his beloved far away. But what happened last night was definitely... wait a minute! There was no term for adultery without being married! 
Oh heck! And David had still told him then that he wanted to marry him. 
Everything was destroyed! 
Destroyed for good!
Dorian would not be able to return! Or would he?
If he had been able to resist Iva's advances after their reunion, he now succumbed to the old suffering of drinking and the closeness of the warm, yet strange body of his colleague. 
Oh Lord in heaven, what had he done....
Dorian found his clothes neatly folded on a chair and dressed in a breeze in the semi-darkness of the chamber.
"Sorry Adel, but I have to get out of here!" And he went outside. 
Adel shook his head, lay down and turned off the light.
Dorian stood in the sparsely lit entryway of the cabin. He would just go upstairs to the lounge area and sit on one of the couches and think, he wouldn't disturb anyone there. So he quietly went upstairs and sat on the couch. It was chilly, despite the fact that the fireplace was burning. He was cold, but he did not care. 
What was going to happen now? How could he live with it? Dorian just didn't want to imagine what it would be like if David broke with him for good!
Suddenly Dorian remembered the package that David had given him when he left. He remembered the strange words David had told him then. To open it only if he might want to return... MIGHT.... 
Maybe David didn't mean to return to Texas or the United States, but himself? 
To return to David...
And Dorian pondered and pondered and slowly fell asleep over it.
Suddenly his cell phone buzzed in his pocket, this woke him up.
"Dorian? Sorry to bother you in the middle of the night, but I don't know what else to do..." With a shaky voice and suppressed sobs, Cassandra contacted him.
It was early in the morning, here and in Texas.
"What's the matter, you seem troubled, my dear?" 
"David, it's David. He's in intensive care. A heart attack. Oh God Dorian, what if..." Cassandra was at a loss for words. 
"What, Cassandra? What happened?" Dorian had jumped up from the couch and was literally screaming into the cell phone. 
"I don't know what to do. Dorian, I..." Cassandra started to cry.
"I'll be on the next flight. Don't worry, I'll be with you soon. Take care of you and Chris. You hear me, Cassandra? Stay calm, we'll make it together, okay?" 
"Okay." Came the quiet, tearful reply from the other end. 
Suddenly a door banged open, one of the climbers ran up to Pavus and started to get loud, "First drinking until you can't stand it and then scribbling around out here! Are you stupid?"
Dorian usually either kept his mouth shut and knew how to counter or apologized charmingly and respectfully, but today he didn't care. He didn't dignify the guest with a glance, ran back to his room and packed as fast as he could.
He had to go back!
No matter what had happened.
Cassandra and Chris needed him.
And he needed to see David again. 
He still had so much to tell him.
And Dorian began to hate himself for his vanity, his selfishness, his drive to strive for unimportant goals. 
For what did he become a doctor, if he now lost the dearest thing in life?
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A new chapter of "Afterlife"
Changes have advantages AND disadvantages…
"Greetings and all my love, Dorian. See you then."
David ended the call and grinned over at Cassandra and Chris, who were also smiling.
It was a beautiful, mild Sunday morning and up here in the penthouse it was quiet and comfortable. 
"I hope you don't mind too much, but my cousin is visiting soon and may be staying a few days." Trevelyan opined, taking a sip of orange juice. 
"Always the man speaks in riddles, Chris. I'm telling you, he's a walking mystery... hahahaha" The pretty woman giggled and winked. 
"You do have some relatives around the globe, most of whom we only know by hearsay. Do we get to know the name too?" Cassandra asked, amused. 
David loved to see her laugh. His beloved friend was doing so much better, and the nightly sleeping problem with cuddly bear Chris had also been wonderfully solved, as no one was disturbed by their nightly arrangement in David's bedroom. 
Although he had told his therapist he wanted to ask Cassandra to marry him as soon as possible, David had not yet found the courage. But perhaps now was the time!
Eric Trevelyan was a quiet but active man. He had founded a small company. They helped people to help themselves. Eric was mostly on the road and you didn't really know where his actual residence was, because he was just often everywhere and nowhere. So he had announced on short notice that he would like to stop by while he was passing through. 
David was happy, he had not seen his cousin for ages. If he thought about it correctly... yes, the last time was at his mother's funeral....
His cousin was a little younger than himself, about Cassandra's age, so they would definitely get along great, they had met briefly back then, though the occasion wasn't the nicest. 
Cassandra smelled so good this morning. 
She was a beautiful and lovely person, she was smart, fair, romantic, well-read, a swell mom, a top cop... and of course a woman.
David wondered if he should just "give her a try"? Would she even want to sleep with him? If not, the second question would probably be answered as well... or maybe not... David would marry her anyway, even if he didn't get intimate with her. 
It was hard, so damn hard. They had been close friends for so many years, she had always accepted him for who he was: moody, gay, secretive, drunk... he always remained her buddy David. But still, they had never talked about sex. He'd never asked about Chris' father, and she'd never asked about all the guys he'd slept with. And Dorian? They talked about him often, but their secret love affair was never an issue. David never brought it up again and Cassandra didn't ask.
So, should he ask her to marry him first or to have sex with him? 
David chuckled out of embarrassment and shook his head. 
"A million dollars, which of course I don't have, for your thoughts, Trevelyan. Hehehe..." Grinned Pentaghast. 
David blushed, "Better not, pahaha!"
"Men! You can't with them and you can't without them! Haha...!" 
Cassandra was such a trooper. David loved her more than anything. But would that be enough? Would that be enough for her? Would that be enough for HIM? Sleeping next to her and Chris didn't bother him. But sometimes there was a feeling, a desire... he didn't want to think about it. 
And how might Cassandra feel about it?
"Cass, darling? What is your type of man, anyway? I know I asked you that question eons ago and we found out then, we have the same tastes...I know I know...but...preferences change sometimes. Life shapes you, doesn't it?" David burst out. He didn't know how he felt about bringing up such a topic at breakfast.
Cassandra looked openly into his purple-blue eyes and studied him for quite a while without answering. 
Uh-oh!
Chris squealed happily in his chair and ate his cereal. Cassandra was still gazing silently into Trevelyan's face. 
Suddenly she broke the silence, "Hmm... good question, indeed! Men. Me and men. Tall, short, blonde, brunette, stupid, smart, thin, fat..." Cassandra started to laugh. 
"I'm serious, Cass." David asked meekly. 
"I haven't been in love much in my life. But when I have been, it hasn't worked out every time. That's all I'll say about that."
Trevelyan nodded in agreement but remained silent. He understood that it was as difficult for her to talk about this subject as it was for him. 
So it would remain difficult to ask her to marry him....
▪︎▪︎▪︎
"Super cool to see you again Cassandra. David told me a lot of information about you. I guess I know more than you'd like, a bummer to have a cop for a buddy?! Hahaha, I'm just kidding." 
Eric had shown up after breakfast, or rather, it was just before noon. He had just come from Thailand and had umpteen bags with him, but everything was quickly stowed in the guest room.
David was cooking so he let Cass, Chris and Eric have fun together. With one ear he listened to the conversation.
"I know a few things about you too, don't forget I'm a deputy as well and of course I am a mom - Exhibit A is sitting over there in the corner, playing!" Triumphantly,  Cassandra looked proudly in her son's direction. 
"Kids are wonderful. I haven't managed to settle down enough to procreate. Women don't go for globetrotters. Maybe it's the Trevelyan gene though? Hahaha..." 
Eric laughed heartily, then glanced briefly over at his cousin at the stove.
"I see. And I guess it's true, you Trevelyan's are tough nuts. You're hard to get a hold of. Pretty but nimble as fish in water, but whoever catches you won't let you go again! Hihihihi!" Pentaghast's voice was like velvet, heavy and soft at the same time. 
Had David heard correctly? "...pretty" and "...won't let go"???
Oh well, Cassandra was surely in a good mood and just charming as ever!
"Oh thank you! Nobody has called me pretty for a long time. I can only return that compliment!" 
Eric was such a charmer!
David had to grin. He was so glad that Cassandra and Eric hit it off right away. It was so darn good to have people around. To see smiling, friendly faces. 
David couldn't help but think of Dorian and how they still kept in touch. Dorian had a few days off and had gone to a ski lodge with colleagues and as always, the first or last calls applied to him. David knew their friendship would last for the rest of their lives. What more does a person need?
Had David possibly finally come to terms with it, or was he about to accept that Dorian would never return? 
David had given Dorian a small package as a farewell present, with the request to open it only if he definitely wanted to come back. Dorian apparently had not opened it, or rather, had never felt the urge to return to him. Which answered quite a lot of questions and dashed hopes. It had been ages since they had seen each other, Dorian had been so busy with his PhD and this project. But he had done it, he had his title, a solid secure place where he could thrive and grow, he had decoded the human genome with his team, he had accomplished just about all of life's goals. What did he need now Texas and the old noses from his past? 
Dorian had told David there was a young doctor on the team, a real bright guy, charming and good-looking. Dorian didn't sound enamored, but intrigued when he spoke of this colleague. David always listened silently and revelling when Dorian told.
Suddenly David shook, somehow his chest tightened. 
Blood rushed to his head, rushing in his ears.
Wait a minute wait a minute!!!
What did he really want now?
David wanted to be happy in life, his best years were spent with.... 
David wanted to start a family and he had already proposed to one person, namely....
David wanted to live lustfully again and become sensual, he dreamed almost daily of...
Like a flash of lightning, it hissed behind his eyes.
He dropped the wooden spoon and then everything went black....
(OC Eric Trevelyan by @pookydraws )
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Sensual Sunday
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My favourite place
Summer days in Texas were hot or humid or wet.
Today you could have a little bit of everything. In the morning it was already more than warm, around noon it became oppressively humid and in the afternoon the heavy rain began to pelt the heated landscape.
But two people didn't really care, because they had two days off in a row: the coroner and the undersheriff. 
And the rain tapped almost melodically on the windows of the small bungalow. No one was on the streets. The sky was completely darkened, heavy grey-black rain clouds hung low over the small town. 
"Now sex!" With these words, Dorian put his dessert spoon aside, dabbed the corners of his mouth with the pretty lilac napkin and grinned into the face of his counterpart. 
"I'm so full, I don't even know if I can, darling." Trevelyan replied to him, stroking his full stomach pleasingly.
Silvery eyes stared at him in disbelief.
"Hmmmmm, this would truly surprise me, my dearest colleague!!! Days off, delicious food, lovely company and the invitation to uninhibited, delightfully dirty, wildly wet and delicious sexual intercourse do not immediately make you jump out of all the clouds and over me...? This is most astonishing...." Pavus shook his head in disbelief and unbuttoned the top buttons of his fine shirt.
"Oh Dori..." Trevelyan was interrupted. 
"Silence! I'm a randy bitch already and I'm going to show you where my hammer hangs!!! I'm going to have fun with myself in front of your truly divinely beautiful eyes until you just can't help but come all over me and really go down on me!" Dorian spoke sternly but in such a velvety voice that his guest felt hot all over. 
Meanwhile, the man with the dapper mustache had unbuttoned his shirt almost completely and was now reaching out with his right hand and caressing his silky, golden-brown and muscular chest. 
Dorian seemed to enjoy this immensely, for David saw how his friend's nipples had already become wonderfully shaped hard pearls under his caress. And also Trevelyan felt something. His own nipples were beginning to harden and something further down was also stiffening in a very pleasurable way. 
A soft sigh escaped David's half-open lips. 
Lasciviously, the host stroked his own cheek with his left hand and then playfully nibbled on his little finger. Meanwhile, his right hand had moved further down and was now out of sight under the table.
A comforting grumble could be heard from Dorian's direction. He rolled his eyes. 
"Okay okay okay.... Enough already!"
With those words David jumped off the chair, and in no time at all round the table, pulled Dorian backwards with his chair, grabbed his beloved and carried him in strapping arms towards the bedroom. It was a good thing the door was only ajar, otherwise Trevelyan might have just kicked it in. 
Arriving at the bed, he threw Dorian onto it with a strong jerk and jumped right after him. 
It was dark in the room and outside the rain was pelting wildly on the roof, but all the two of them heard were wet kisses and deep moans. Clothes were tugged at, hair was ruffled, teeth nibbled at lips, seductive perfume scent slowly mingled with tangy sweat smell.
"You are so... oh.... Oh Dori!" Trevelyan was unstoppable.
And outside, the rain was still pelting the world, but inside, two sweaty bodies lay close together in an intimate embrace.
"I've had a lot of bad experiences in my life, you know, David!" Said Dorian softly into the darkness of the room.
Without saying a word, David gently stroked his lover's damp and silky smooth skin, trying to make him feel secure and affectionate.
"I was an absolute fool... no, this doesn't even begin to cover it! I was a brainless idiot! Stubborn, gullible, simply blind to see the truth. Maybe I even saw it, but I refused to accept it. This is what fools do... I think..." 
Trevelyan pressed himself very close to his colleague's body. 
They were both silent for a few minutes. 
Suddenly David broke the silence: "When you're in a total slump, in a bad mood all of a sudden, and you could cry, yell and vomit all at the same time, you're supposed to imagine your favourite place really quickly. Where you are safe, where you are not vulnerable, where you feel free and strong and comfortable. That helps immensely! Do you have such an imaginary place in your imagination, Dori, my darling?"
David did not stop stroking Dorian tenderly. When no answer came, David thought Dorian had fallen asleep. 
But then suddenly a reply came. 
"Yes, I have such a place, David. Ever since I've known you, I've had such a place." Dorian almost breathed the answer, so velvety did he speak the words. 
"Oh Dori, this is the most beautiful compliment I have ever received. What does the place look like? Only if you don't mind me asking, of course." David snuggled even closer to his beloved. 
"It's your arms, David. It's where I feel strong and safe. Having sex with you is great, don't get me wrong, I'm really fascinated by the two of us, but the moments afterwards are those that give me strength, that are my safe place. Because I feel... no wait, I know you mean it with me, you're my friend and I..." Dorian fell silent in mid-sentence, again not having the heart to say the three little words. 
David came very close and pressed a little kiss on the coroner's cheek, "I love you too, Dorian. Now let's get some slumber. Sleep well, darling."
And then there was only the soft sound of the Texan summer rain splashing on the roof of the little bungalow.
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How Dorian is treated by men...
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Iva vs. David
(Model of younger Dorian by @miasansudstern )
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WIP WHENEVER
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Of women and men (Part 2)
The day flew by, dinner was eaten, they talked a little more, watched a bit of TV and then said good night. Suddenly David started laughing. 
"Hahaha... we are going the same way tonight. Do you want me to use a different bathroom from today on? You're welcome to use the on-suite." 
"It's big enough for all of us, no David, we'll just go in one at a time and for some things I'll keep using my downstairs bathroom. Just don't bother. Thanks again for just everything!" And the beautiful woman with the dark eyes looked at her friend and host gratefully and joyfully.  
It still took some time before all three were bed ready and finally met in the bedroom. 
Normally David always slept completely naked, but of course he was now wearing pyjamas. It had been very very hot all day, and even now it was still very warm outside. The air conditioning was on full blast and it was cool in the room, but David had some sweat on his forehead. Cassandra came into the room with Chris in her arms and noticed the beads of sweat on David's forehead. 
"Are you sure you are alright? Are you having doubts?" She asked quietly, Chris had dozed off. 
"I'm just a bit warm, don't worry." Whispered David with a wink. 
"You're wearing too much! Long pyjamas at this time of year is just too much. Don't you have any shorts?" 
Cassandra laid her son in the middle of the huge bed and he lay still, rattling softly to himself.
Then she walked over to David and stood beside him at a little distance. 
She was wearing a dark blue silk shorty. The fine fabric delicately caressed her feminine figure. She was no longer very young, but simply ravishingly beautiful and very athletic. David watched her out of the corner of his eye while she looked over at her son. Cassandra was really attractive, David liked women very much, even if they were not able to attract him sexually.
Cassandra noticed his gaze and addressed him: "David, you can sleep as you normally do. Shirt and shorts are perfectly fine."
He scratched his neck sheepishly, winked and shook his head. 
"Oh... oh, I see... ugh... well, then maybe at least without the top? We're buddies after all. It's okay, I want you to be comfortable. Okay?" She said and nudged him in the side.
David took her at her word and removed his top. A wave of the scent of his shower gel wafted towards her, it smelled fresh and masculine. And then she saw his free chest. Not overly muscular, but well toned and strewn with brown-grey mottled hair. 
David Trevelyan had a fabulous figure despite his age, not too fat and not too much muscle, a manly hairy chest and delicately pale skin. Perhaps he was not to everyone's taste, but Cassandra found him very attractive. 
She must have been staring with her mouth open because David suddenly said, "A penny for your thoughts, sweetie. Hihihihi..." 
He just chuckled softly so as not to wake Chris. 
"Everything okay? Then off to bed and good night." With those words he hugged Cass and pressed a peck on her left cheek.
She couldn't say anything and just hugged him back. They both went to the bed and Cassandra lay down to the right of her son and David lay down at a distance to the left of the little slumbering heap. Nothing vibrated, nothing rocked, every movement was absorbed by the mattress. 
Cassandra loved these comfortable beds. The mattresses cost a fortune, but David no longer had money worries. 
They had prepared the bed with separate sheets, so Cass and Chris had their own. 
David lay quietly beside them and turned off his light. Shortly afterwards, Pentaghast also turned off the light on their side.
▪︎▪︎▪︎
Slowly, oh so slowly, a finger slid tenderly over her cheek. The touch was almost unreal, so gently stroking skin over skin. 
She always knew he was a very sensitive man, romantically inclined and a total softy. That was exactly what magically attracted her back then. Cool guys or strongmen were everywhere, show-offs, beau's and childish firecrackers. But he had something special, something friendly playful and yet naively wild. She kept imagining then how manly he must be, in bed! Not brutal at all, but with a passion that could move mountains and melt hearts. 
Good Lord in heaven - she was really madly in love with him back then. 
And now he was lying next to her. The finger, meanwhile, had moved on, crossing inch after inch of her quivering body. From her cheek, over her neck, with a detour to both nipples. The little circles his finger drew around the hard buds of her breasts almost drove her crazy. Then his finger moved on, stroking around her belly button, and in no time at all he had reached his destination. 
Wet, warm, pulsating! 
Everything inside her vibrated.
He moaned softly, she sighed. 
It was just too good to be true!
...too good to be true!
...to be true...
Cassandra opened her eyes. A small night light burned on David's side. Only very softly did the child's lamp illuminate the large room. Chris cuddled with David, it seemed he had been crying, perhaps a bad dream. But the big man next to him made him feel safe. Both boys had their eyes closed. They seemed to be asleep. 
Cassandra didn't know how to act, the dream earlier was so real and somehow pleasant and yet outrageous. How could she dream about sex and then about him... Damn, it was David! She hadn't dreamed of him in years. Cassandra swallowed hard. 
Somehow she was afraid to keep dreaming again. But she was tired too. So she just closed her eyes and thought about soccer, this should help....
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WIP WEDNESDAY
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Of women and men 
Chris has been sleeping so badly lately. It came on suddenly, sort of overnight. 
Cassandra didn't know what to do. His cot was already in her room - it didn't help. Then David put a cosy bed for her in Chris' room - but even with all the nice toys and Mummy close by, the little "cuddly bear" (as David called him) didn't want to fall asleep.
A visit to the doctor brought answers.
Fear of loss, not enough physical contact and so on - God knows what else was listed. 
Cassandra felt guilty for not having been motherly enough, for not being able to guarantee him parental care, for not being tender enough.
David listened to everything in silence, but carefully, while he chauffeured his two sweethearts home.
Once home, David first cooked some pudding, homemade chocolate pudding, which was eaten lukewarm. The mood rose a little. 
"Your bed is wide enough, Chris can just lie next to you, Cass." Said the man in plain turtleneck and jeans, he seemed so much younger in casual clothes. 
"You don't know that rascal! He rolls around like a whirlwind and flings himself out of bed. And unfortunately I sleep like a rock, I don't notice when he falls and hurts himself. I am glad that his bed has a border. Crap, what am I going to do?" Cassandra looked a little sadder again.
"Idea!" Trevelyan exclaimed, raising his left index finger enthusiastically. 
Chris noticed this and clapped his little hands happily. 
"Ha, we boys know how to help ourselves, don't we?" Laughed David, poking the toddler in the chubby cheek.
Cassandra's eyes lit up blissfully and gratefully and she couldn't wait to see what that idea would be now - she was fine with anything that could remedy the situation by now. 
"You sleep with me! Upstairs! My bed is... monstrously huge, don't know what possessed me back then to put such a one-off of a king size bed in my room!?" He scratched his head and chuckled. 
His two loved ones laughed with him.
"David, are you really serious about this? I mean... you and us in the same room, in the same.... ahem.... bed? I mean... ugh... I... I don't know." Stammered the pretty woman, her cheeks turning red. 
Embarrassed, David scratched the back of his neck. Of course it had to be kind of weird for Cassandra, but for David it felt normal. Cass was one of his best friends and Chris was like a son to him.
After a few minutes of silence, Trevelyan spoke in his tart yet calm voice: "The bed is big, comfortable, nothing has ever happened in it and nothing will happen to Chris, this I promise on my life."
"Oh God, Dave! I know this! You are our friend and ... I just don't want to restrict you any more or affect your life or inconvenience you." 
"Then we'll sleep together from tonight... I mean, not literally that is...uhm…  literally yes, but already… but not... oh, forget it, we'll just try and see. Oki doki?" 
David's cheeky grin made him look 20 years younger.
And Cassandra's heart changed. She suddenly remembered when she first joined the team and was immediately taken under David's wing. They were a cool team. He was quiet but friendly and somehow cheeky and charming at the same time. Okay, maybe she had fallen a little in love with him. Yes, they were just a wonderful match. They had the same interests and similar tastes. Unfortunately, it soon turned out that they also had the same taste in men. Secretly, she always hoped that David was bisexual so that she would get her chance someday, but.... 
And now, so many many years later, her dream would come true to end up in her crush's bed. Different from what she had hoped, but somehow Cassandra felt very attracted again to this swashbuckler opposite her, who played so peacefully with her son as if he were his own child. Somehow she felt sorry for David, but at the moment she felt more like taking him in her arms and tasting his lips. She felt herself blushing again.
"Now then my dears, I have a little rearranging to do upstairs and then we can look together at what all we need for our first pyjama party... tehehe" 
David tidied up the dishes and then went up to his floor, soon it would be her floor too....
▪︎▪︎▪︎
There was a tentative knock at the door. 
"Come in." 
"Are we intruding or can we help with something?" 
Chris on his mummy's arm squealed happily to himself.
"Almost done!" Laughed David. 
Cassandra walked slowly into the room, she had never been in here before. It was huge, super fancy and so not at all her old mate's style. She noticed he had taken pictures off the walls and thrown cloths over them. 
David saw her puzzled look and spoke, "Some pictures might be inappropriate. You understand?" 
"But it's your room, we don't want to displace things that are important to you. Please, leave them up, I won't look away either... haha!" Embarrassment in Pentaghast's laughter. 
"I have something to show you. God, after so many years..." And David walked over to a large picture leaning against the wall and pulled off the cloth.
"Dorian. It's Dorian. Oh David..." And Cassandra's tears came. 
"Oh! Don't cry Cass, honey, it's all right. I'm not some perverted stalker or psychopath, he's... he was..."
Pentaghast cut him off, "I know he told me everything back then, but we didn't have the heart to tell you what we talked about back then." 
They both fell silent and tears ran down both their cheeks. 
After what felt like an eternity, Trevelyan broke the silence. 
"Well, now, if you have any questions, I'll be honest with you, there's nothing left to hide." David smiled and tenderly brushed a tear from Cassandra's cheek.
"I've only got bedding here that takes a lot of getting used to, satin and silk, it's not so comfortable for our little one. I'll get the other pretty things from downstairs. Be right back." 
Cassandra was shocked and happy at the same time. At last this mystery was out of the world - for all parties. She now wondered if Dorian and David were still together somehow. From time to time Cassandra spoke to Dorian on the phone, they had remained friends. But they never talked about partnership and erotic matters. 
Everything was so confused and wild then. So many things had happened, so much had changed. Was Dorian alone in Canada or in a relationship? Did David have acquaintances outside the house, perhaps just to be considerate of her and Chris? Somehow it was all so crazy and yet life went on and on. 
And then David came back with the bedding. They sat Chris in a corner with his teddy and let him play while they silently covered the huge bed together.
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A brief look into the future, a part from "Afterlife":
Guilt and atonement 
Suspension.
Accusations galore.
What was wrong with people?
Abuse of office was at the top of the list. Cheating, corruption and sexual assault. 
Excuse me?
The department had stumbled onto something big, something that couldn't have been worse. But slowly the gruesome puzzle was falling into place. 
But apparently there were leaks....
Should the FBI or state police have been called in? 
The deputies were hardworking and smart people, they knew what they were doing. Didn't they?
Suddenly Trevelyan was standing in front of his superiors. The questions made his face flush with shame.
Fornication in official cars. 
Homoerotic strip-searches of minors.
Perversities among colleagues. 
Bribes and quid pro quos through frivolous sexual acts. 
After the suspension, disciplinary proceedings were to be initiated. 
This meant the end!
All entitlement to remuneration would cease with immediate effect, he would no longer be allowed to perform his duties.
He would be ruined, because Trevelyan had learned nothing else than to protect people.
▪︎▪︎▪︎
David sat at home and pondered. 
How should he proceed now?
How was he going to explain all this to Dorian?
Dorian... he was facing important exams, his doctoral thesis was sacred to them both and had top priority! And Dorian wanted to take part in this important project abroad.
"Now just don't stress, Dorian needs his rest!" David muttered quietly to himself.
"But I have to tell him, he'll find out anyway... damn it! I'll only bring him bad luck..." David had no strength left to hold back his tears. 
He needed legal advice, but how could he afford all that? 
For sure they would want to hear names, names of men he had done it with in the department and in the official car. But there was nothing to say, nothing like that had ever happened. And he had never touched minors - neither in the course of his duties nor in private. He was not a paedophile, nor was he interested in heterosexual men and teenagers. 
Trevelyan was just a simple gay man and deputy sheriff. And all this probably for too long - and David made a decision...
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A miniature of "The new guy"
Thanks for listening 
It has been very humid the last few days. There was not even a tiny breeze.
Dorian and David had finished their shift and wanted to have a barbecue together, because they hadn't eaten much and hadn't seen each other privately for a while. At first they wanted to have a small barbecue with friends, but they felt like being together, just the two of them. 
So they drove home separately after finishing their work. David bought something for Mrs Chamberlain. And Dorian also had to get something. 
There was a knocking. Dorian quickly washed his hands and then ran to the door. In the bluish darkness of the night, a man stood behind a huge bunch of flowers. They were summer flowers, colourful, cheerful, fresh and simply beautiful. 
"Come in quickly, I need your help." Said Pavus, grabbing David's hand and pulling him into the bungalow. 
Dorian greeted his guest with a shower of hot kisses. The flowers and bottle of wine almost fell out of Trevelyan's hands. But he could not complain, he loved this man with the handsome moustache more than anything else in the world. 
"David, how do you want your potatoes? Sexy hot like me or lovely spicy like you?" The host chuckled. 
"Surprise me, darling." And David kissed his colleague on the cheek and continued chopping the vegetables. 
Rock music was playing on the radio. Listening to groovy music and barbecuing in the middle of the night was a bit crazy, yet cool at the same time. The two were totally on the same wavelength. 
When everything was ready, Dorian went out to the veranda and put the prepared goodies on the grill. David, meanwhile, set the dining table. It had become windy and it looked like a thunderstorm, so they preferred to eat inside. 
Dorian stood by the patio door a little later, surreptitiously watching his sweetheart as he placed candles on the dining table and hummed happily to himself. 
David was such a normal guy, so down-to-earth and despite his sometimes melancholic and grumpy manner, he was a fun and positive-minded coeval. 
Dorian liked that guy over there a bit more than he would ever admit to himself. With Trevelyan, everything was so carefree and just nice - if only there wasn't that damn secrecy. This gnawed at Dorian's heart like an ulcer. 
It had not gone well with Iva then either, he suddenly thought. Too many secrecies with him too, too many disappointments, too much loneliness. Iva always went back to his wife, she came first for him.
Suddenly Dorian wondered where he stood with Trevelyan. 
Did this country lad only love Dorian's body and his wit and charm or was there really something more? And was that a good thing or even more problematic? 
Was Trevelyan hoping for something more, something MORE that Pavus was not capable of giving? 
So many unanswered questions, so many uncertainties. And yet somehow it was not unpleasant to think about, to think about a future together. 
Dorian smiled gently and went back to his barbecue on the veranda. 
The rising wind helped the embers in the grill. The flames were flickering and the goodies were fine and ready to be tasted in no time. 
The fresh salads, the grilled vegetables, the jacket potatoes, the grilled cheese, the steak and the sausage were beautifully arranged on fine porcelain. 
It smelled wonderful inside and outside it was thundering, lightning and raining cats and dogs. 
Dorian and David clinked their delightfully tinkling wine glasses together and smiled at each other.
"To us!" Said David softly.
"To us!" Replied Dorian sensually.
Then they sipped. The wine was full-bodied and had tart flavours that pleasantly underlined the taste of the meat but also that of the vegetables. Both were blissfully silent and thoughtful. 
Suddenly, the rock band Journey was playing in the background. Simultaneously, the two said, "I love this song!"
Then they looked at each other dumbfounded and started laughing. They got to talking. 
"That concert in Houston back then was a blast!" David enthused. 
"I know... hihihi" And Dorian giggled.
"Don't tell me you were there too?"
And they both grinned beatifically. 
Something in common again. 
Had they possibly seen each other at that time?
And they continued to enjoy the food, the music and the company. 
The palatable red wine loosened Dorian's tongue. Even as he washed up, he was chattering away happily.
They talked about favourite songs, raved about singers and their hot butts in leather pants and laughed heartily. 
"Sit down, David. I'll bring you my yearbook. You'll laugh your head off." And Dorian pranced over to the shelf. 
David was so happy, everything in him was literally cheering. That cool guy over there by the shelf, was his buddy, his colleague, his friend. Pavus was really a very elegant and educated man, charming and handsome.
But behind the noble façade was also such a funny and open-minded person - this total package only made Pavus even more adorable.
David got goosebumps, he was so excited to know something from Dorian's past. 
Then the host sat down very close to Trevelyan on the couch and placed the yearbook on his thigh. Opening it, it then rested on both their thighs. Dorian embraced David with one arm and pressed himself against him, with his free hand he began to turn the pages. David held the book with him and then they giggled and revelled. 
Happy, daring, sad, cheeky faces looked out from the book. Frivolous and funny sayings could be read. Dorian had funny or remarkably bizarre anecdotes to tell about many people. And Pavus was a good storyteller.
Suddenly David's gaze wandered away from the book to his beloved. Dorian was so absorbed in reminiscence that he did not notice he was being watched. 
The undersheriff breathed calmly and for a moment it was as if he had an epiphany, a revelation. As if he had found the answer to all of life's unsolved questions. At that very moment he felt at one with the world, as if someone had taken him by the hand and shown him the way to eternal blissfulness. The look on his friend's happy face, the closeness of this friendly man close to him, his gentle and unmistakable voice... David knew: Dorian is it! Dorian is his future! No matter what happened, David would stand by him forever!
"Look, David! This was one... oh what am I saying, THE most beautiful and popular boy in school. Tell me, which one of us is pretti..." That was as far as Dorian got.
David put his index finger to Dorian's lips, locking them. 
"Ssssh, don't speak any further, darling! You are not an option! It is YOU, only YOU and it will always be YOU!"
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Because I am sad since days...
A miniature from "The new guy" (a brief look into the future):
A tiny conversation among colleagues 
"And you do this kind of thing often, chapeau!" David held onto the steering wheel slightly convulsively.
"This is my job, this is what I get paid for. Hehehe... of course there are far more pleasant parts of the human body to deal with. But you wouldn't believe how fascinating pathology can become when you're up to your elbows in..." That was as far as Dorian got.
"...in blood and guts. Oh, Dorian, you're so brave. I just couldn't do that." Trevelyan took a deep breath.
"David, my dear David. I just wanted to show you my work live for once. Haven't you been to pathology with the other colleagues lately? With Vivienne, for example?" Pavus asked curiously. 
"Yes and no. We were there, but not THAT live. It is fascinating and exciting, this I admit, but somehow also so... damn sad. I don't know how to put it..." Trevelyan took a deep breath, it was more of a suppressed sigh. 
"That's all right, my good man. Death is part of life, quite natural so to speak, but I am interested in something far less trivial. I want answers and possibly solutions. A few more years of life, good years mind you, or help for future generations. This is the quintessence of my work. This is my challenge. This is why I want to study and research, David." Dorian spoke so softly and yet so enthusiastically, he was absolutely serious. 
David was silent and drove on, light drizzle had set in. 
"We'll keep in touch, David? Right?" Dorian's voice had become even more tender. 
His colleague continued to gaze silently at the road and just nodded. 
"Nothing will change in our friendship as long as I am gone, this I swear to you." 
Then they both fell silent.
Only the sounds of the engine and the tyres on the wetting road could be heard. 
David would have liked to pour out his heart, but then he would probably have broken his promise to ask Dorian again to go to Canada with him. 
And Dorian... he would have loved to hear a reaction, a soft and romantic, slightly naïve and heartfelt answer from his beloved, even if it would have made it even harder for him to leave.
Perhaps Pavus would have been better off staying, perhaps they would have been better off leaving together? 
Decisions were made, the story was already written. 
Their intimate friendship would survive unscathed without any doubt!
But also their passionate and young love for each other?
(Art by: @hoiist )
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You, you are my universe
And I just want to put you first
And you, you are my universe, and I
In the night, I lie and look up at you
When the morning comes, I watch you rise
There's a paradise they couldn't capture
That bright infinity inside your eyes
매일 밤 네게 날아가 (가)
꿈이란 것도 잊은 채
나 웃으며 너를 만나 (나)
Never ending forever, baby
You, you are my universe
And I just want to put you first
And you, you are my universe
And you make my world light up inside
어둠이 내겐 더 편했었지
길어진 그림자 속에서 (eyes)
And they said that we can't be together
Because, because we come from different sides
You, you are my universe
And I just want to put you first
And you, you are my universe
And you make my world light up inside
My universe (doo-doo, doo-doo)
My universe (doo-doo, doo-doo)
My universe (doo-doo, doo-doo)
You make my world
You make my world light up inside
You make my world light up inside
나를 밝혀주는 건
너란 사랑으로 수 놓아진 별
내 우주의 넌
또 다른 세상을 만들어 주는 걸
너는 내 별이자 나의 우주니까
지금 이 시련도 결국엔 잠시니까
너는 언제까지나 지금처럼 밝게만 빛나줘
우리는 너를 따라 이 긴 밤을 수놓을 거야
너와 함께 날아가 (가)
When I'm without you, I'm crazy
자 어서 내 손을 잡아 (아)
We are made of each other, baby
You, you are my universe
And I just want to put you first
And you, you are my universe
And you make my world light up inside
My universe (you, you are)
My universe (I just want)
My universe (you, you are my universe, and I)
My universe
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"Sinful Sunday?"
David was sitting in the church. It was quiet and smelled of incense. 
He hadn't been here for a long time, he had "two three bones to pick with the good Lord" as they say.
Despite David being brought up Catholic, religion was only a construct in his view. Faith was what really mattered. And David was very devout....
The deputy looked up at the ceiling. A beautiful church it was, an architectural work of art. 
David had always liked to photograph chapels and churches on his trips, there was something magical about them. Graceful and pure and simply beautiful - Trevelyan the dreamer sending his regards, yes yes...
Masses were beautiful, only confession always gave him the creeps. Why did the Lord want one to tell one's sins to another person? What did priests have to do with whether one had sinned? Was it right for complete strangers to give you absolution in God's name... yes, but was that really necessary, wouldn't a prayer of confession between God and the sinner have been enough?
And what were sins anyway? The 10 Commandments were to be obeyed, if you obeyed them you were not a sinner, were you?
David believed in the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, he had no other gods besides. 
David was brought up strictly but warmly, he did not need swear words and expletives to articulate, he was very silent in his early days, especially as a child. 
David loved holidays and therefore they were sacred to him, mum did not have to work on these days, this was a gift. 
David loved his mother with all his heart, he didn't let anything get to her. 
David and killing people... well, as a child it would never have occurred to him to hurt someone so much that the person might die. As a deputy, he didn't see the situation much differently - it was to protect people, not kill them.
David, despite his changing lovers, was an absolutely monogamous person, so if one day he should have the chance to find THE right one, this gentleman would be the only one for all time - until the final curtain falls.
David's family was poor, but there was no stealing. 
David never had many friends, but far be it from him to speak evil or falsely about others. He loved the saying, "If you don't have anything good to say about someone or something, you'd better not say anything at all."
David was always very euphoric, he was happy for people and their nice things and enjoyed them, it never occurred to him to be envious of them.
David did not worry much about the 10th Commandment. Taking away other people's possessions was far from his mind. And he would certainly never covet the other man's wife. 
The only things he ever had to confess were his unchaste thoughts and later actions. 
Good Christians don't stare at pretty buttocks, don't buy magazines with naked men. And good Christians do not fornicate with the same sex - thank you very much for the sodomy paragraph!
A deep sigh escaped the man in the pew, he bowed his head and began to pick his bones....
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Friends and lovers
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...can't wait to let 'em meet again
(OC Tarasyl'nin (Lavellan) MacKenzie by @tarasylnin-lavellan , model of Dorian Pavus by @ba-kalia , model of David Trevelyan by @miasansudstern )
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ATTENTION PLEASE
I was very lucky to grab a commission slot of our beloved @hoiist at Discord. What an honour and pure pleasure, a brilliant artist and lovely person to work with ❣
Just looks how breathtakingly adorable it turned out:
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My endless heartfelt thanks for this masterpiece. It's such an honour and pleasure to work with you, your art is so voluminous, unique, colourful, unmistakably, mind-blowing, sensational and gorgeous - I am on my knees, I love it 🙏😭
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Thursday miniatures
Part one of a little something from "The new guy".
Drunk with love...
David was down in the basement of the department, poring over some files. As he did so, he hummed happily to himself, began to whistle. 
"Still in such a good mood this late at night??? You've been doing the job too long, old boy! Are you all right?" Asked his colleague Garrett Hawke, slapping him on the shoulder.
"I'm just fine!" David winked. 
They both stood in front of the big shelf, sifting through file folders. 
"You're doing pretty well at the moment, aren't you?" Garrett sighed.
"Not you, huh? Something happen?" David turned to him.
The tall, bearded man just shrugged his shoulders and didn't answer. 
The undersheriff was a good listener, but he did not simply ask colleagues out. 
So they continued to leaf through papers for a while without saying a word. Suddenly, however, Hawke broke the silence. 
"It's such a dumbed-down thing about love. Isn't it?"
David chuckled and nodded. 
"You have a good laugh, you're outed, you have a cute guy to have your fun with, no one talks about it much. You're to be envied." 
Another deep sigh. 
David remained silent and became melancholic. Unfortunately, it wasn't as easy as Garrett thought, especially because the cute guy wasn't sweet Kai....
"My parents freak out when I tell 'em... David, I've fallen in love." The tall man turned to his colleague. 
David turned to face him, looked deep into his eyes and began to whisper, "Your sighs and the fact that you're telling me all this down here makes me suspect it's a man and someone I know."
"Fucking cop!" Laughed Garrett. 
"And what can I do for you? Hawke, my best man, I'm not really the best person to solve relationship problems, but I'm happy to listen to you." David's smile was gentle and genuine. 
"It's a colleague, Dave!" Hawke whispered. 
Suddenly Fenris shouted down to them from above: "How long are you going to hide down there? We've got to go! Come on, you lazy bastard!"
Garrett patted his colleague on the shoulder and then wordlessly went upstairs.
▪︎▪︎▪︎
David Trevelyan was actually in a good mood today, he was just super pleased with himself and the world. The reason was smart, muscular and handsome as fuck. 
Last night had been really nice... 
So, David had to work, Dorian had a few days off. This was normal, but David was missing his sweetheart at the office. So he decided to call Dorian at the end of the day. 
"How nice of you to call before you go to bed. Do you just want to say goodnight or can it be something more?" A slightly frivolous giggle finished the coroner's sentence.
David grinned, he actually felt like MORE. 
"I'm in a good mood and could do with a nightcap. If you have time and feel like it, of course." Breathed David into the phone, a first attempt at acting sexy. 
"I've never heard anyone call phone sex a nightcap before... but, that's exactly why I think you're cute, Trevelyan! Okay... so, tell me then, what turns you on aurally when we do it?" Dorian's voice vibrated.
And David's heart began to dance. He was so in love with this man, so intrigued and drawn to his charms that it shook him. 
"Hello? Still there? Or are you already laying hands on yourself?" Dorian laughed. 
"Sorry, I was in thought..." 
"I certainly hope so, and you'd better be thinking about me every millisecond! Tehehe, well, fire away, Mister undersheriff!" Pavus' voice was pure velvet.
Now let off something erotic and Dorian is proud of me, David thought to himself and said in his manly and tart voice, "That sound when our bodies collide, that slap and clap, you know. And then that wet smacking with every movement and thrust. We fit into each other so perfectly, it's flawlessly amazing... oh man!" David groaned with pleasure.
"Oh God, David! You're such a..." 
David breathed heavily and voluptuously into the phone, his trousers beginning to tighten. He was unspeakably curious what Dorian would say on the subject.
"What do you like to hear when we make love, Dori?" David's voice was dark and smoky like the growl of a mighty bear. 
"Yes, just that!" Pavus whispered.
"What, Dori, what?" David was almost bursting with curiosity. He felt his nipples harden even more. 
"Your voice, David. Your breathing, your panting, your longing moans, that pleading growl - so good, makes me unspeakably horny, David, this totally turns me on. Your voice, your timbre make me hot and willing. And I'm a musician, I know what's good about acoustics! Oh David! Damn it! What the heck! I know it's late, but can I come... I mean drop by?" Dorian practically begged. 
"You may cum as often as you can! Hurry up... please, Dori!" 
And they both hung up the phone in a flash.
(OC Kai by @darth-salem-emperor-of-earth )
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Bought myself an early birthday present 😍
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David and Dorian (modern!AU) for @tessa1972 <3 
Thank you so much for commissioning me, for your support and kindness! It’s been a pleasure!
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Doriiiii❤
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This is a commission for @tessa1972​ That was interesting, thank you!
Do you want your idea to be drawn? Let me know! Commissions are open!
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Commission for the wonderful @tessa1972 of Dorian and David from her modern AU ♥ Loved drawing them for you, you are awesome!
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