cowboylikereid - Tumblr blog

cowboylikereid · 3 years

Text

Never again

Summary: Spencer takes his vest off to talk an unsub down and Y/n gets mad.

Warnings: A couple of swear words, mention of mental illness and drug addiction, mentions of BAU case

Genre: Angst with fluff ending

Working at the BAU often meant being in danger. Usually, that danger occurred with unsubs pointing guns.

Spencer had his fair share of trauma. Mostly from Tobias Hankel. That case was the worst Spencer had ever worked. It left him with addiction and copious amounts of trauma.

"What are we going to do, Hotch?" Morgan asked once the team arrived outside the unsub's address. It was an abandoned warehouse in the middle of his hunting ground.

The team had only found it by looking with the help of Penelope Garcia, as usual. She wished them good luck as they hung up and sped off to apprehend the suspect.

The biggest problem was he had a hostage. His M.O was sick, taking women, torturing them, and then eating their hearts. He profiled as very ritualistic and delusional. His fragile mental state was obvious from the footage. He could see and hear things that weren't there. The narrative in his head was driving him to kill. They knew his stressor was the death of his partner.

The team were dressed in their FBI bulletproof vests, ready to storm the building with the other police officers. Because the town they were working in was so small, there weren't any SWAT officers.

"We can't all go in." Hotch realised. "We've got to do a soft entry." The team understood someone was going to have to talk him out of it. Hotch turned to explain it to the local police sheriff. "The profile shows that if we all go in, he'll go down shooting. He's mission-oriented but his mission is a delusion."

The sheriff nodded, understanding the psychology. "Is there any chance we lure him out?" He asked, speaking with a thick southern accent.

Unfortunately, Hotch shook his head. "He believes there's a task he must complete. No police presence is going to convince him to stop. We have to make him see it's not real." He told the sheriff, who nodded once again. It wasn't the answer he wanted. It wasn't going to be a safe operation, but a girl's life depended on it. "I'll go," Hotch said, taking out his gun and laying it on the police car.

"No, wait," Spencer exclaimed, quickly scrambling to be near Hotch. "I'll do it. I can convince him it's not real, I'm sure of it."

Y/n's heart lurched forwards. She felt like she was going to be sick.

Spencer had asked her out after they had been friends for a few months. Now they were almost at their 2nd anniversary.

It wasn't easy dating someone outside of the Bureau, but that didn't mean it was any easier dating someone inside.

Nothing like this had ever happened. Spencer had talked down unsubs before, even shot a few in front of Y/n. But he had never done anything this stupid.

Maybe, more than anything, she was terrified for him. But it all came out as anger as he took off his bulletproof vest. She couldn't believe he was going to put his life at risk. Why couldn't he leave the vest on?

Hotch didn't stop him as he walked in. Spencer's locked eyes with his girlfriend one last time before he disappeared. She was furious and terrified. Not sure if she wanted to cry or scream at him, maybe both.

"Y/n, he'll be okay," Prentiss said from next to her, witnessing her friends emotions. She lowered her gun and turned to the younger agent.

"He's so fucking stupid." Y/n finally said, still not able to breathe. This whole thing felt like a bad dream. She didn't understand why she didn't stop him. More than anything, she didn't understand why he'd done that.

Did he not want any more Sunday morning reading sessions? Or museum dates? Maybe, he just didn't see a future with Y/n anymore. She didn't know what to think, but none of it was good. Her blood was boiling, and her eyes watering at the thought of their future plans not prevailing.

There was one memory stuck in her mind, it was the memory of last Friday night. They had just gotten back from a case. Instead of going out to celebrate, they went home. The fire was lit, and they lay in each other's arms on the couch. She had never been more relaxed.

That's when Spencer asked if she had thought about their future. It just made her giggle. Obviously, she hadn't been with him for years to not see a future with him.

Despite how tired they were, they stayed up until 1 a.m. Just talking about what they wanted in the future; how many kids they were going to have, where they were going to live.

That was what Y/n was thinking about as she let a singular tear fall down her cheek. Emily wiped her thumb over her friend's cheek.

"No, no, no, don't do that. Don't think bad things." Emily comforted her quietly so the rest of the group wouldn't hear.

They could see the distressed look on her face, how panicked she looked. But they didn't see how angry she was at Spencer, sacrificing their future.

"I'm fine, Em. Pissed but fine." Y/n told her, trying to stop the tears from falling down her cheeks. She had never been this mad at Spencer.

Like any couple, they did fight. But it was over little thing. When Y/n couldn't decide what she wanted for dinner but rejected every option Spencer offered, that drove him insane.

Y/n didn't think she had ever been furious like this.

Her heartbeat rapidly for 5 minutes, anticipating what was happening. Her anger was still mixed with fear. Until he came out. The unsub in handcuff. Then, all she saw was red. Once she knew he was okay, all she could do was be mad at him.

There was a fuss of people as they entered the building, finding the girl unharmed. Whatever Spencer said must have worked. Still, she couldn't admit she was proud of him when she was seething.

The rest of the team seemed pleased with Spencer, Morgan giving him a pat on the back and even a 'good job' from Hotch. He hadn't noticed his own girlfriend's anger.

"Alright, go get your stuff. Wheels up in 30." Hotch said once the BAU gathered at the SUVs.

Everyone got in, expecting to ride where they had on the way here; Prentiss, Morgan, JJ in one car and Y/n, Spencer, Rossi and Hotch in the other. However, Y/n outsmarted him. Waiting until Spencer got in before getting in the other car.

"Y/n..." Emily trailed off as she looked at the girl joining her in the back seat. The look of disapproval on her face annoyed Y/n.

"You seriously can't be taking his side!" Y/n exclaimed, not caring about JJ and Morgan witnessing her anger.

"I'm not taking sides," Emily stated. She hated to be split between her friends. "He did something stupid, yes, but you can't be mad at him." She rationalised.

Except, Y/n wasn't thinking rationally. "Well, I am." She simply said as she turned away from Emily to face the window. Her bottom lip was between her teeth, and she bit it hard enough to make it bleed.

The car ride was an uncomfortable silent one. Thankfully the motel was only 5 minutes away.

Once they got there, Y/n didn't wait for Spencer to go up to their room. She usually did.

Spencer, still oblivious, didn't think anything of it. He rode the lift with Hotch and Rossi, talking about Jack's soccer tournament on the weekend. Spencer was spouting off facts about how to ensure the boy didn't get injured when he reached their hotel room door.

Unusually, it was open. He always warned Y/n against that even if he was going down to the lobby for 10 minutes. He'd seen how it could play out.

"You've really got to lock the door, Y/n," Spencer told her as he walked in. His casual tone even pissed her off.

She looked frantic as she packed her belongings. He could tell she was mad, but he didn't understand what about.

"Oh, sorry," Y/n replied in a sarcastic tone. "I've also stopped caring about my safety." Sarcastic and snarky. Her voice was dripping with venom, and it caught Spencer off guard. She never spoke to him like that.

"Y/n, come on." He pleaded, walking over to where she was zipping up her bag.

Gently, he reached out to place his hands on her waist. That was the closest he had been to her since he walked in. Her eyes were blood shocked and her jaw was clenched. It shocked him when she tore them off.

In one motion, she put her bag over her shoulder and walked out the door without another word. Spencer was left shellshocked. She had never acted like this around him. Usually, it was him giving the silent treatment.

He didn't know how horrible it was.

As quick as he could, he packed his bag, racing down to the lobby in the hopes of catching her, and finding out what was up.

"She left," Emily said, looking up from her phone at the tall genius. "With JJ and Morgan."

Spencer groaned, tugging at his curls. "Damn it." Emily gave him a look, and he knew it meant he was in trouble. "What did I even do?"

"For a genius, you can be dumb," Emily replied, very unhelpfully. "She's mad you rushed in there without thinking about what would happen if you died." She finally explained.

Spencer felt a tightening in his chest, a bad one. "I had to stop him before he killed another girl."

"I know." Emily agreed. "But without a vest?"

Spencer didn't bother to argue. It was a heat of the moment decision. He thought the vest would have freaked a schizophrenic out.

It freaked his mother out.

Hotch came down, and they got in a car with Rossi to get to the jet.

Spencer didn't know how to fix it, but his brain was working overtime. Mostly, he felt like an idiot. Why had he not thought about Y/n? Obviously, the girl that loved him wouldn't be happy with him putting his life at risk.

He couldn't get her mad face out of his head. He'd fucked up, majorly.

The only plan he could work up was to talk to her on the plane. When he got on, she wasn't in their usual seats. She was sitting at the table, next to Morgan.

Spencer quickly slid into the seat across from her. It broke his heart when she didn't even look up at him. She had learnt her silent treatment from the best.

She already had her headphone in, and her nose in a book. It was obvious she was fully prepared to ignore him for 3 hours. He wasn't sure how he was going to make it through.

He couldn't even bring himself to read, so he just looked out the window. The sky was pitch black, the land under them lit up with lights. When he finally snapped out of his daydream, he looked around at the team. JJ was asleep, so was Emily. Morgan, unusually, was as well. Rossi and Hotch were at the back of the jet, talking quietly.

"Y/n, please." She looked up, maybe it was because his tone was so broken. Still, she didn't say anything. "I'm sorry," Spencer told her.

All she did was shake her head, and look back at her book. Ouch. It physically made him wince. Tears pricked at his eyes, but he couldn't bring himself to cry.

He rested his fingers on his head, hoping it would make him think better.

Eventually, the jet landed in Quantico. Around midnight.

The team were too tired for any celebrations. Plus, they wanted to be well-rested to do their paperwork tomorrow.

Y/n didn't speak to Spencer as she loaded her stuff in their car. She did say her goodbyes to the rest of the team, which made him feel even worse.

Then, she got in the passenger seat. Spencer usually didn't drive, but Y/n didn't think she was going to be able to.

So Spencer drove, sneaking glances at her as she tightly gripped her book.

"Do you want to get something to eat?" He offered, thinking about their favourite pizza place.

Usually, he didn't care for pizza, but it was different late at night. It was the smallest pizza shop, open 24/7. The only other people that were there whenever Y/n and Spencer went were drunk. The couple would laugh at their drunken antics, and stuff themselves full of pizza because they both rarely ate enough on cases.

Y/n shook her head. At least it was some form of communication.

Spencer drove straight to their apartment, parking before getting their stuff. Y/n snatched her bag out of his hands. He wanted to help his tired girl out, but she was adamant about doing it herself.

So, she lugged her bag up the flights of stairs before reaching their apartment door.

Spencer unlocked the door, and she marched in. She dumped her stuff outside the laundry and walked into the lounge.

He wasn't sure if he should go after her or not, but he did.

As he walked in, she scrambled to wipe her cheeks. She looked so delicate, crying as she sat on the edge of the couch. The moonlight was streaming in the open curtains. An odd mix of exquisite yet fragile.

Nothing broke Spencer like seeing her cry. He couldn't help the tears coming down his own cheeks.

He breathed deeply before walking over. Suddenly, he felt awkward as he fumbled for where to sit. He decided on the ottoman, so they were at eye level, only inches apart.

"Y/n." He softly spoke, his voice cracking as he choaked out sobs. He kept his hands at his side, despite how hard it was.

Y/n was full-on crying now, all her rage coming out tears. Deep down, she knew she was only mad because of how scared he'd made her. The broken look on her face hurt him so deeply. He'd never thought it was possible to love someone like this until Y/n.

She still didn't speak to him, she just cried as she wrapped her arms around herself. All Spencer wanted to do was hug her.

"Baby, look at me." He begged. Lightly, he placed a hand under her jaw. He lifted it, forcing her to look up at him. She didn't move it, instead, she met his brown eyes. They were filled with tears, like hers.

Spencer didn't know what to say next. He still felt the sharp pain in his chest as she looked at him. He just wanted to make it better, he wanted to stop her pain.

"I'm furious with you," Y/n admitted, tears still streaming down her cheek. They ended up on Spencer's fingers.

Spencer nodded, moving his hands, so they were cradling her face. "I know. It was stupid."

"So fucking stupid, Spence." It felt good to hear the nickname fall off her lips. "You could have gotten yourself killed. Do you know what that would do to me?" She didn't wait to give him an answer. "It would break me. I would never be the same again." She told him. It was factual.

Hearing her say made more tears fall down his cheeks. His stomach twisted tightly, at the thought of the love of his life heartbroken and it all being his fault.

"I'm sorry. It was a bad call." Spencer knew that now. Even though he had gotten the job done, he'd hurt Y/n. "Tell me how I can make it better." He begged.

Y/n shrugged. "Can you just hug me?" She asked, finally breaking.

Spencer couldn't oblige quick enough, pulling her into his arms. He ran his fingers through her hair, trying to calm her. Finally, his breathing steadied. The world was right.

"I was so terrified when you went in there," Y/n admitted. The guilt Spencer felt was immense, like nothing else. "Then, when you came out, I just felt so angry with you."

At her confession, he moved his hand to trace shapes on her back.

"I'm so sorry." Spencer sobbed out again, holding her as tightly as possible. "I'll never do it again."

Y/n continued telling him the truth. "I thought you didn't care about our future, that it didn't matter to you. It was like you were just throwing it away."

Spencer was thankful she was opening up to him, but the guilt didn't stop. He couldn't believe he'd made her question his love. His shirt was getting damp from the tears she'd spilt, and it made him feel terrible.

"Never." He shook his head. "I care about our future more than anything." He reassured her. "Never again." He promised.

Y/n nodded, pulling back to weakly smile at him. There was nothing more beautiful in the world. "Never again." She said, holding out her pinky finger to intertwine with his. He happily locked them together before placing a kiss on hers. He pulled back, to look into her eyes.

"I love you." He told her, their faces now only inches apart. He adored moments like this when he got to admire her face up close.

"I love you too." She replied, finally closing the gap between them.

With their lips together, Spencer felt at home. She managed to heal all his pain, he just hoped he'd done the same.

"Carry me to bed?" Y/n asked before nuzzling her face into his neck. Her legs were locked around his waist.

"Of course, my love." Spencer quickly followed her request, standing up with her in his arms. His slim arms were far from weak.

When he got to the bedroom, he put her down so they could both get undressed. She climbed into bed first, and Spencer followed. He wrapped his arms around her waist, so he was spooning her. He held her tighter than usual.

With his curls nuzzling her neck they could finally relax. He was just taking in her scent. Everything was okay.

"Spence, can I ask you something?" Y/n quietly asked, her hands had travelled down to where his wrapped around her waist. She played with his fingers, stroking over his prominent veins. It reassured him that whatever she was going to ask would be okay.

Spencer nodded, his curls tickling her neck. "What is it, baby?"

"Why'd you do it?" His heart immediately sped up, as it clenched in his chest.

Spencer desperately didn't want to answer, but he did. "Uh, the unsub... I just wanted to help. Like I couldn't with my m-mum." His voice was shaky.

Y/n flipped over in his arms so she was facing him. "Spence." She cooed, taking his face into her hands. "I'm sorry."

Spencer shook his head. He couldn't stop the tear stream down his cheek, Y/n wiped them up. "No, I know it was a dumb thing to do."

"Spencer, your mum loves you. You've helped her since you were a kid." Y/n reassured him. She just wanted him to believe he was half as amazing as she thought he was.

"But I couldn't save her." He continued to cry. He felt so helpless and stupid. Y/n was the one who deserved to cry, yet here he was. "Did you know she doesn't even recognise me?"

Y/n's heart fractured. No matter what Spencer did to her, it would never hurt as much as watching him in pain. She'd rather endure years of torture than have Spencer get hurt.

He was so pure, he never deserved to feel hurt. She didn't know what to say so she just pulled him in for a hug, running her fingers through his curls to the base of his neck.

Spencer pulled back to look into her eyes again. "I really appreciate you," He told her, wiping the tears out of his eyes with his index finger. It meant more to Y/n than an 'I love you.'

"Baby." She cooed again, pulling him back in for another hug. When she pulled away, she smiled at him. "You did a good job today, the unsub needed you." She reassured him.

Spencer smiled. Bloodshocked eyes and all, it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. "Thank you. I won't go in without a vest ever again, though." He promised.

"Good. No matter how mad I was, I'm still proud of you." Those words meant more to Spencer than anything. He never heard it enough as a kid, so every time someone said it, it meant to world to him.

Y/n closed the gap between them, her lips on his once again. It was both of their favourite feelings in the world, like every part of the universe had aligned.

Tag list

@archer561 @measure-in-pain @bingereid

705 notes · View notes

cowboylikereid · 3 years

Text

Tolerate It | S.R (part two)

Summary: Spencer attempts to fix what he broke and it doesn’t go as planned.

Pairing: Spencer Reid X Fem!Reader

Category: angst

A/N: you all loved the last part so much that I figured i’d give you all another one :). Also here’s a mini playlist of songs I feel fit this :)

Content warnings: cheating, cursing, mention of a knife (figuratively)

PART ONE

(not my gif)

You didn’t know where to go but you went anyway. So many parts of you wanted to turn around and forget everything that happened. Even if he was using you as a placeholder he still had you. You could forget the other girl and continue on with the act. You could continue pretending just for a little while longer. The other parts of you wanted to never see him again. You never wanted to see his warm eyes or that damn smile that trapped you in the first place. It wasn’t fair that you had to suffer while he was loving someone else. You wanted to scream.

You find yourself back at Penelope’s door. You didn’t know anywhere else to go. If anyone could explain to you why he did what he did, it was his team. When Penelope opened the door she didn’t expect to see you again. She certainly didn’t expect to see you with tears rolling down your reddened cheeks. She doesn’t speak, just pulls you into her.

“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry,” she whispers, rubbing your back. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I, I don’t know if I can,” you croak. She nods and pulls you inside. You didn’t even realize that Derek and JJ were still there until the door shut behind you.

“That’s okay,” she assures. “Have a seat and I’ll get you some hot chocolate.”

“Hey,” JJ whispers, sitting next to you. Her warm hand takes yours gently. Derek sits in one of the chairs across from you.

“I thought he loved me,” you breathe. The past couple of hours has left you wondering how much of these past three years was a lie.

“Y/N, I’ve never seen him look at someone the way he looks at you,” Derek admits. His words break your heart even more. You thought the same yesterday.

“Well, he found something more interesting,” you say coolly. “I should say someone.”

“What?” Garcia questions when she walks back in the room.

“Her name is Maeve and he’s never met her,” you hiss. “She’s why he’s been happier at work.”

They all look at you with pure shock in their eyes. They couldn’t believe the Spencer they knew could do something so cold. You wish you were lying. You wish you could scream to the stars and tell them to change but they were already aligned.

“I thought you were the reason he was happy these past weeks,” Derek confesses.

“I wish I was.”

“How long?” Garcia asks.

“Three months.” The words still sting.

“Three months?” JJ repeats.

“He traded our three years for three months with someone he hasn’t even seen yet,” you scoff. “I wish all of this was a lie and he was playing a sick joke but he doesn’t love me anymore.”

“Y/N, I’m so sorry,” Garcia whispers. You shake your head and wipe under your eyes.

“Don’t be,” you shrug, “It’s not your fault.”

“It’s not yours either,” JJ jumps in, reading your mind. “Y/N, I’ve seen the way you look at him. You would give the world. None of this is your fault either.”

“I think she’s smarter than me,” you begin, hearing JJ’s words but not listening to them. “I think she understands what he’s talking about when he goes on his tangents.”

“Y/N, stop,” Derek interrupts, grabbing your hands. Your eyes meet his strong ones. They hold a million different emotions and you can’t imagine what he’s reading in yours. “You are smart and you sure as hell did not deserve that. Whatever made him do that is on him. You have been nothing but good to him.”

“How can someone stop loving someone?” It was a question no one could answer for you.

“Do you have anywhere to stay?” Garcia questions, finally setting the mug down in front of you.

“I have a friend who lives over by the book shop,” you answer, calming her down. JJ pulls you into her as if she was your older sister. She was, in a way. He might have been why you met them but they’re your family now, there’s no way you were leaving them.

Spencer walked into the BAU the next morning with his head down. He knew what was going to come from today. JJ and Garcia walk by without saying a word. Garcia’s usual smile is gone and JJ isn’t asking about you. She doesn’t need to because she already knows. When Derek walks in, he gives Spencer a look he’d never seen. It was pure disappointment. The tension was burning in the air.

“We have a case,” JJ announces blandly, as if she were reading the weather. Slowly, everyone goes into the conference room. Garcia presents the case blandly. Spencer picked up on all the little things the three of them did and didn’t do. He knew they knew.

“Alright, Morgan and Reid go down to the M.E’s office and everyone else to the crime scene,” Hotch instructs, holding more emotion than the other three had.

The car ride was silent. Spencer kept his eyes on his hands.

“What the hell, Reid?” Derek asks, breaking the silence.

“I didn’t know it would end like that-”

“How did you expect it to go? Did you expect Y/N to just give in and let you go?”

“How mad is she?” Spencer questions. He knew how mad she was, he saw it first hand.

“How mad would you be if you were in her shoes?”

“I’ve really lost her, haven’t I?” Spencer forces, his throat burning with tears.

“I don’t think you’ll get her back,” he shrugs. “Honestly, I don’t think you deserve her back.”

“I don’t,” Spencer agrees. Maybe that’s what it was. Maybe he knew he didn’t deserve you so rather than telling you that, he found someone else. You were too good for him. You always saw the light in him and he’s not used to it. He’s used to being seen as fragile or like a hurt puppy. You saw him as someone who was strong and who helped people as a way to help himself.

“I watched her heal you and you return the favor by breaking her?”

“How mad are JJ and Garcia?”

“For a kid as smart as you are, you’re asking a lot of stupid questions,” he scoffs. “Y/N is like a little sister to them, how mad do you think they are?”

“Why aren’t you mad?”

“Oh, I’m livid,” he chuckles dryly. The words felt like fire. “She was the best damn thing to happen to you, Reid.”

“I really lost her.”

“You don’t know how good you have it until it’s gone.”

Your mind was in another place while you were putting back books. You didn’t hear him enter. You didn’t know he was here until he was next to you.

“Welcome to The Book Nook how can I help you,” you recite blandly. It’s been weeks since you’ve had to look at him.

“Can I talk to you?”

“You had three months to talk to me Spencer,” you snip, “plus weeks after that.”

“I know and I’m so sorry, Y/N, I wish I could change it,” he pleads.

“Well, you can’t,” You shrug, placing books back in their rightful spots. You thought you knew yours. “You did this, Spencer.”

“How can I fix it?”

A scoff leaves your lips. One thing you loved about him was that he was hopeful. He was hopeful in times where there was no hope. “You can’t fix this.”

“We can try,” he attempts.

“No,” you whisper low. A sad smile breaks your lips. Heavy hurt is in his eyes. “You can’t fix this. Please, stop trying. Shit happens and it happens for a reason.”

“If you would let me try,” he begs.

“I’m done letting you try things.”

“Please.” Your eyes meet his again. You used to find comfort in them but now you can’t look in them too long. All you see is what could’ve been.

“No,” you break. His lips part to speak but there’s nothing left to say. The grave has been dug. “It would’ve been fun if you would’ve been the one.”

“I’m so sorry,” is all there is left for him to say.

“I know,” you nod. He looks lost. He doesn’t have everything he loves and used to know by his side. “I hope she makes you happy.”

He bites the inside of his cheek. Not like how you did, he ached to say. He knew you didn’t want to hear it though. He knew you wanted it to be the last thing said before he left. He wasn’t ready to leave yet. Some part of him was still grasping onto whatever he had left of you even after all of these months.

“Are you staying with Pen?” He asks. Hearing your voice, even with an undertone of hatred, brought him some kind of comfort.

“No,” she responds blandly. “I’m staying with a friend.”

“Who?” He finds himself asking.

“Elliot,” you answer. You know the name would make him upset. Your guy friend who Spencer always thought he would lose you to was now closer to you than he was. He hated it. You knew that. You wanted him to feel the hatred you felt for him that day.

“Uh,” he stumbles, “How’s that going?”

“How does it feel, Spencer?” You taunt. You wanted to push every button you knew he had left. “I sleep in his home, cook with him, have conversations that you and I have had. It hurts, doesn’t it.”

“Stop, Y/N,” he mumbles.

“It’s so funny to me that you thought I would leave you for him,” you continue on. “I never thought I would lose you, though. And over someone you’ve never met.”

“You were better than me, Y/N. I was broken and afraid.”

“Was I a coping mechanism?” You interrogate. “Because as soon as you healed, you left. Explain to me how breaking me, heals you.”

“It doesn’t,” he defends.

“Then why did you do it?”

“I wish I knew,” he whispers. “I didn’t deserve you-”

“That doesn’t mean you get to cheat on me after three years,” you hiss. “You could have talked to me, you could have done something other than find someone else.”

“I-”

“I don’t want to hear it Spencer,” you interrupt. Him being here hurt. Seeing him hurt. You wanted to run back to him. You knew he would leave Maeve for you but now there’s a stain that won’t leave. There will always be that doubt that he’ll do it again. There will be that doubt that he’s using you to get what he can’t have from her. “Go find someone who does.”

“You don’t have to be like this, Y/N,” he bites. You scoff and look around. People are listening in, needing their daily dose of drama as if reality TV isn’t enough. To be fair, you weren’t sure if you could keep your ears away either.

“I have every right to be like this.”

“At least I’m trying,” he shrugs.

“I was trying too, Spencer. I was trying to talk to you, to get you to talk to me, to get you to look at me.”

“What else is there?” You curse mentally. He knew you way too damn well. There was more that you weren’t telling him. You didn’t owe it to him but you knew it would break you to keep it from him.

“I’m pregnant, Spencer?” Everything in his body stops. His breath, heart, thoughts.

“Whose is it?” He finds himself asking. Deep down, he knows the answer.

“You’re smart,” you dig the knife a little deeper, “you figure it out.”

____

And that’s where Tolerate It is going to end. In my mind, I think they would try to stay for the baby (which is Spencer’s, yes I’m robbing you all of Dad Spencer call me the CM writers) and attend lots of couples therapy. I’m not sure if it would work out in the end. I’m going to leave that part up to you all :).

#spencer reid imagine #spencer reid #angst #sr #criminal minds #derek morgan #Penelope Garcia #Jennifer Jareau #JJ #cm #cm imagine #Matthew Gray Gubler #mgg #matthew gray gubler imagine

135 notes · View notes