if you would be so kind as to reblog this if you feel insecure about your writing skills.
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Begin Again: Part 1
Summary: One day, Spencer takes his daughter to a café for some early morning bonding before he leaves for work. He ends up with a little more than just coffee that morning.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!OC
A/N: note, I’m probably making this a series (for sure am) and I don’t want to use y/n the entire time so she will have a name but I’ll try to stray away from specific descriptions so you all have room to imagine yourself!
Based on the Taylor Swift song Begin Again (I love this song so freaking much)
Warnings: slight hints at death towards the end
Word count: 1.4k
|not my gif|
The little bell above the door rings, gaining your attention. The café had been open for about an hour now so you’d had a few stragglers come in before work. None of them had a smiling little girl with them though.
“Hi,” you greet, smiling at the duo sweetly. “I’m Delilah, is there anything I can help you all with?”
“Um,” the man hums. Your eyes take him in briefly. He’s a couple of years older than you with messy brown hair that falls into his eyes a bit. His warm brown eyes scan the menu above your head.
“Daddy,” the little girl begins, pulling your attention to her. “Can I have orange juice?”
“One orange juice and a coffee with extra sugar,” he requests. Smiling, I nod and write the orders on two cups.
“Can I get a name for your order?”
“Uh, Spencer,” the man answers, smiling lightly.
“And yours, sweetheart?” You ask, looking at the little girl. She shy's away and hides her eyes in Spencer’s shoulder, making you smile even more.
“Evie,” he nods.
“Alright, those will be out in a few minutes,” you finish. The pair walk over to a table by the window. He sits Evie in the chair before taking the one next to her.
“Do you have to leave again today?” the child asks sadly. Spencer sighs at the question. It was always hard for him to leave her but he knew he had to do it.
“I’m not sure yet, Evie,” he answers.
“I don’t want you to go,” she pouts, wrapping her arms around his. He holds her close and kisses her head.
“I know but I have to go help people,” he mumbles into her hair. He can hear the little girl sigh next to him just as you call out their names.
“Evie and Spencer,” you announce. He stands before walking over to the counter.
“Thank you,” he grins. “Do you all have any coloring pages?”
“Let me check,” you nod. He watches as you go back into the kitchen. You were gone for a few minutes before coming back with a coloring page and some crayons. “Here you go.”
“Again, thank you,” he nods, taking the paper in his hands.
“Not a problem.” He walks back over to Evie and sets the paper down in front of her. She looks up at him as he sits down. He watches as she starts coloring neatly in the lines of the tiger picture.
“Do you think she’s pretty?” She asks quietly.
“Who?” He asks softly.
“I think she said her name was Delilah.”
He glances over his shoulder at you. You didn’t notice as you were with another customer. Evie wasn’t lying though. You had kind eyes, a sweet smile, and glowing skin. You look at everyone you talked to like they were all that mattered in that moment.
“You know you’re a very intuitive little girl,” he chuckles, avoiding the question.
“So, you do?”
“I don’t know her well enough yet,” he shrugs.
“I think she’s nice.”
“You’ve had one conversation with her.” The child shrugs making Spencer laugh. She’s far too smart for her age, just like her dad. “Alright, kiddo, finish up.”
“Will you call tonight if you have to leave?” She asks, looking up at him.
“Of course,” he assures, kissing her head. She finishes her orange juice and he finishes his coffee. He picks her up and rests her back on his hip before grabbing their cups. He tosses them before starting to walk out.
“Bye, Delilah,” the little girl calls out, getting your attention. You smile at her. She scrunches her fingers. Spencer looks over his shoulder at you and smiles before letting the door close behind him.
“Uncle Derek!” Evie cheers as she runs to the tall man. He beams at the little girl before picking her up and tossing her in the air lightly.
“There’s my favorite Reid,” he teases. Spencer rolls his eyes before smiling at them. She leans into him, cupping her hand around his ear. She whispers discreetly to him. He smirks and looks at Spencer with mischief in his eyes. “Oh really?”
“What?” He questions.
“Evie told me that you were giving heart eyes to the barista at a café,” Derek smirks. Spencer can feel his cheeks heating up.
“It wasn’t like that,” Spencer deflects.
“What wasn’t like what?” Garcia asks as her heels click against the floor.
“Penny!” Evie smiles. Derek puts her down so she can run to the bright woman.
“Evie,” Garcia laughs. She bends down to hug Evie tightly. “Now, Dr. Reid, what were you all talking about before I entered.”
“Little Evie here told me that Spencer was making heart eyes at the barista in a café,” Derek reveals, making the young doctor’s cheeks red again.
“Oh?” Garcia questions, looking wide-eyed at Reid. “Is that true?”
“Like I said before, it wasn’t like that,” Reid defends, smiling slightly.
“Oh,” Garcia gasps. “Oh! Oh my god, you think she’s pretty.”
“See!” Evie states matter-of-factly, raising her small arms. Spencer’s phone rings and he sighs quietly. He pulls out his phone and looks at the message.
“Evie, Jackie is here,” Spencer reveals. The girl sighs before walking up to her dad. He picks her up and she rests her head on his shoulder.
“Bye, Evie,” Garcia smiles sadly.
“Bye,” Evie waves as the elevator doors close. She wraps her arms around Spencer’s neck. “I don’t want you to go.”
“I know, hun, I don’t want to either but it’s part of it,” he mumbles, holding her close.
“When will you be back?”
“Hopefully, in a couple of days.” The little girl pulls back and smiles mischievously. He narrows his eyes playfully at her. “What are you thinking?”
“Can we go by the café when you get back?” She questions, looking at him expectantly.
“I don’t see why not,” Spencer laughs. Evie claps triumphantly. They walk outside to Jackie’s car.
“Hi, sweetie,” Jackie smiles. She was an older woman with short, curly, white hair and the sweetest smile.
“Hi, Jackie,” Evie smiles, skipping towards the woman. Jackie gives her a tight hug before helping her into the car.
“I love you, Evie,” Spencer calls.
“I love you too, Daddy,” she responds as the door shuts. She pokes her head up to the window and waves. Spencer returns the gesture with a smile as they drive off.
“Hey,” Derek greets behind him, placing a firm hand on Spencer’s shoulder.
“I always tell her I’m going to come back but what if I don’t?” He questions helplessly.
“Spencer,” Derek begins firmly. “I will do everything in my power to make sure you come home to that little girl each time.”
“I miss her,” Spencer sighs. He wasn’t talking about Evie. He always missed Evie when they were on a case but this was a different kind of longing. This was deep and has been happening for years.
“How long has it been?” Derek asks, knowing what he was missing.
“Five years, four months, and twenty three days,” the doctor rattles off. Derek sighs and tosses his arm around Spencer’s shoulder.
“I get it,” he assures.
“You know,” Spencer forces a laugh. “Evie asks where her mom is some nights and I still don’t have an answer to give her.”
“She’s a smart girl, Spence. She’ll understand that you’re just not ready to tell her.”
“How do I tell her that I could have saved her mom. If I was a few minutes earlier? If I had never even contacted Maeve-”
“Spencer stop,” Derek scolds. “If you didn’t contact Maeve that little girl wouldn’t be here today. You don’t have to tell her if you’re not ready to.”
“Hotch got over Haylie in like a year,” Spencer mumbles. “Why can’t I?”
“Because you haven’t let yourself,” he explains. “You need to be the one to let go.”
Reid picks at his nails and bites the inside of his cheek. “I want to,” he admits.
“That’s good, Reid,” Derek smiles sweetly at the young doctor. “And you can start by asking that barista out on a date.”
Derek’s teasing makes Reid stifle a laugh. “Maybe.”
“That’s not a no so I’ll take it,” Derek chuckles, ruffling his hair. “Now, let’s go catch some bad guys.”
And there it is! If there are any major mistakes feel free to tell me (nicely pls). Also, feel free to leave your thoughts!
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ha ok i’m actually gonna do it today i promise
i’m gonna post my first fic today o_o.
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derek and hotch are Gryffindor's
JJ and Penelope are Hufflepuff's
Reid is a ravenclaw
Prentiss and Rossi are Slytherin’s
hi you all this is more of a serious post. i just wanted to point something out. you may not believe other peoples triggers are your responsibility. as an empathetic and understanding person, i can get why you may think that. but if you cannot understand that people have genuinely negative experiences with certain things/content and you do not respect that they have those triggers, then you are the problem. it takes absolutely nothing to tag something with general triggers. it honestly is the bare minimum because you have not a clue what other people are going through or have been through. people include their tags and their triggers for a reason. they want it avoid it and they're doing everything they can to. by not tagging specific content YOU are the issue you are causing problems and you’re making other people’s lives far more difficult than need be. please just consider general tags!!
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rant under the cut
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Reid’s Autistic Traits
I was bored, so I decided to make a compilation of sorts on my favorite autistic character, Dr. Spencer Reid. These have been piling up in my files, so prepare for a gif-style infodump.
Self-stimulatory behavior often consists of repetitive movements. Reid is frequently seen fidgeting with his hands and other objects. He almost always talks with prominent hand movements. He also frequently touches his face. Reid occasionally spins in chairs, rocks back and forth, etc.
Missing Social Cues/Confusion in Social Situations
Despite his excellent profiling skills, his interactions with strangers and friends often leave Reid confused and causes him issues when trying to connect with people. He will miss jokes and sarcasm, take things literally, and occasionally gets uncomfortable when speaking publicly.
Infodumping, Hyperfocus, Special Interests
Reid’s special interests, as I have observed them, involve general knowledge seeking, criminology, Halloween, old foreign films, and sci-fi. Reid has a more rare trait of autistic people; savantism. If you believe in quantifying intelligence, Reid has an extremely high IQ (187), He also has an eidetic memory and can read 20,000 words per minute. When Reid is working a case, he frequently enters hyperfocus, ignoring everything else around him. Reid often goes into long-winded explanations of things and is oblivious to others’ frustration with his infodumping.
Reid doesn’t have as many obvious sensory seeking/avoidant behaviors as many other autistics, but it does manifest every once in a while. Reid is often uncomfortable with touching strangers, especially shaking hands. He has shown sensitivity to bright lights and loud sudden noises. Reid’s clothing choices also reflect his preference to be comfortable.
Reid tends to display spatial awareness, coordination, and dexterity issues. He prefers academic pursuits, and ridicule in childhood further led to his aversion to physical activity/sports. He has also only very rarely been shown to drive a car, and takes the train to work. This may be due to difficulties with driving ability.
Many autistic people struggle with basic hygiene and appearance upkeep. Reid’s hair, whether short or long, is almost always messy and unkempt. Reid’s clothes are often disheveled as well.
Trouble Regulating/Expressing Emotions
Reid tends to suppress his emotions much of the time, but when he experiences strong emotions they tend to pour out and seriously effect him in ways that don’t effect the rest of the team. Reid also tends to have odd/exaggerated facial expressions which may be a way of overcompensating for his struggles of expressing himself acceptably.
Avoiding Eye Contact
Going Non-Verbal (I’ve only ever seen this happen to Reid once)
Resistant to Change
Sitting Cross-legged (I’m not actually sure if this is an autistic trait but I always sit like this and so does Reid so I thought I’d include it)
So yeah, I hope that was informative. It was fun to make this post! Thanks for reading!
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idk if anyone will do this but give me numbers in my asks pls :)
50 Angsty Questions Prompt List
“And that makes it okay?”
“Are you afraid to die?”
“What would you do if I didn’t come back?”
“Do you know what it’s like?”
“Hasn’t this addiction done enough damage already?”
“Why are your eyes so red?”
“How do you think this ends?”
“Why would I ever want to be with you?”
“Is that what you think of me?”
“Do you know what a gunshot wound feels like?”
“How am I supposed to go on?”
“Can’t you see how fucked up this is?”
“If I told you I hate you, what would you do?”
“Should you be drinking that much?”
“What if we just crash this car and make it all stop?”
“Do the drugs still get you high?”
“Am I the reason you cry every night?”
“When did you stop loving me?”
“Don’t you think you’ve done enough?”
“How did things go so wrong?”
“When did things fall apart?”
“Which part of me wasn’t enough?”
“How do I make you love me again?”
“How much does it hurt knowing you lost me?”
“We’re you trying to destroy us?”
“How do you want to die?”
“Is the weight of it all finally too heavy?”
“Are you okay with having blood on your hands?”
“How do you sleep at night?”
“Can you still sleep at night?”
“Is being high all the time worth losing everything?”
“Can you feel the blood draining from your body?”
“Do you know how it feels to wish for death every day?”
“Will you miss me at all?”
“Can I have one last kiss?”
“Do you understand what you’ve done?”
“Is this how you thought your life would be?”
“Did you expect this to turn out better?”
“Can you really blame me?”
“How could you do this?”
“Can you be the one to do it?”
“Does this mean what I think it means?”
“Are you leaving?”
“How do we fix this?”
“Would you hate me?”
“Do you want to die?”
“How many more innocent people have to die?”
“Can you promise me no one else has to get hurt?”
“Are you satisfied now…?”
“Do you even know what love feels like?”
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this is my favorite thing i love this so much
the bau members × taylor swift
their favorite album and their favorite songs from the album (ignoring timelines and when the album is released because timey-wimey doesn't matter)
haley used to listen to taylor swift so now hotch does too. it reminds him of her
he likes evermore the most and marjorie is his favorite because it also reminds him of hayley
penelope garcia is the biggest swiftie in the entire bau. taylor swift is constantly playing in her head
she likes lover the most. same effect as baby kittens and cute animal videos.
she likes afterglow and daylight but she also loves paper rings coz she thinks its cute
emily prentiss is obsessed with reputation
she thinks its iconic and is the "bad bitch energy we all need"
this is why we cant have nice things is her fav and also like everything else on that album
rossi listens to 1989 with emily but he wont tell the others. everyone knows tho
spencer is usually just confused. he tries profiling taylor's character in no body no crime
penelope laughs at him. like usual
spence thinks that its "somewhat inaccurate" yet taylor should be checked. he's still processing why there are songs about murder
emily replies with "taylor probably looked damn good doing it so we'll let it slide"
derek has some songs in his playlist he listens to in the jet with his headphones
he thinks call it what you want is "a vibe" and "a bop" he thinks spence should listen to it
spence doesnt know whats "a bop"
jj likes folklore and taylors soft songs. it helps her calm down and she sings it to her sons as a lullaby
invisible string and begin again is her favs probably. she hums it a lot
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i’m gonna post my first fic today o_o.
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if you consider Hotch being abused as a child to be canon,
if you consider Reid being a germaphobe to be canon,
if you consider Morgan being a “ladies man” to be canon,
if you consider Elle having PTSD to be canon,
if you consider Rossi and Strauss’s relationship to be canon,
if you consider Reid’s addiction to be canon,
but not Reid being autistic as canon, then you need to take a long look at why you can infer the validity of these other statements but not when it comes to autism. Why you think a characters life and entire storyline has to be centered around their autism. Why you place your own biases and headcanons above other people’s existences. The ableism some of y’all love to perpetuate is infuriating.
if you just personally don’t think Reid is autistic, honestly that’s between you and god. And if you dislike him, again, that’s honestly completely valid and you can like a dislike who you please. this post isn’t about you at all, unless I see you villainizing every single neurodivergent trait he demonstrates. because some of y’all really love to pretend you’re not ableist solely because “Reid is not canonly autistic.”
this is specifically for those of you who hang on to “Reid being autistic isn’t canon” like a lifeline so you can further demonize every trait he exhibits that demonstrates his neurodiversity. it’s honestly so disgusting how much some people to buckle down on their Reid hatred but can never give a reason outside of his neurodivergent traits for disliking him.
if you hate displays of neurodiveristy just fucking say so. if you want autistic people to bend to your whims of what you deem as ‘normal’ and ‘acceptable’ fucking say so. but stop trying to pretend that you’re not prejudice and actively harming a group of people.
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COMMENT. ON. FICS. BEFORE. YOUR. FAVS. STOP. WRITING. 👏👏
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hi i’m about to go to bed but if anyone wants to send me writing prompts feel free to :)
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you know what? reid and the bartender from 52 pickup would’ve been cute as hell
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if you say backhanded things about penelope garcias body in your fic, idc if it’s from her pov or not, you are fatphobic because show me where in canon she ever says she hates her body or ever sees herself as undesirable. you are just fatphobic and I’ll say it.
that woman knows she is fine and there’s no reason to make her hate herself to further a story and have another character “come to her rescue” and call her pretty and gorgeous and sexy that isn’t rooted in fatphobia and I’ll say it. I’m saying it.
the idea that fat women have to hate themselves so that someone will hopefully fall for them and deem them desirable is disgusting
fat women are allowed to realize their worth and beauty without being told by a romantic/sexual partner, actually.
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what’s your emotional support single TV episode 👀
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The criticism of Derek is part of a much grander problem that I feel like we have all eluded to but nobody has explicitly said.
Characters of Colour are held to extremely higher standards then their white counterparts, to the point where they cannot do anything wrong or else they are automatically demonized.
Derek is there for 11 seasons, and we not only see him be a dynamic and vital part of the team, but he forms arguably the best and strongest bonds with the other team members; Spencer, Penelope, and I would say Emily. He has backstory and struggle, but he also has significant growth. He is self aware, intelligent, respectful- when people are deserving-, and a large part of his person is just trying to protect people. And this is all in canon.
And still that wasn’t good enough. There is constant hate on his character from large pets of the fandom, and it’s almost as if they don’t even realize the standards they hold for non-white characters. These are the same exact people who adore Hotch and Rossi, two characters who in canon are boring, do not change their ways over their entire career at the bau(you could even say Hotch just got colder) and do not form the intimate relationships Derek does.
Yet when Rossi forces Derek into extremely uncomfortable situations with the Pastor, it’s overlooked. When Hotch is the first to start suspecting Derek of having committed a crime in Profiler, Profiled, it’s overlooked. When Hotch is the one to make the call about not informing the bau about Prentiss, it’s overlooked. When Rossi disrespects basically everybody in season 3, it’s overlooked. But when Derek makes mistakes or does something sexist and/or mean in the earlier seasons(I will be first to admit he crossed a line at moments) it’s an immediate attack on his character. Even with his growth. Season 11 Derek is a much different character than season 1 Derek, and he only improved throughout the show.
This isn’t only with Derek. Matt, Luke, and Tara are all victims of this complex, just in different ways.
The writers clearly put little to no effort into their characters, making them near perfect.
I saw a post earlier about how people don’t like Matt, Luke, and Tara because they are too perfect and it makes them unrelatable, but if they had any flaws or imperfections, they would immediately be attacked by the fandom. Matt, Luke, and Tara had to be pristine to get any of the love they receive.
Derek was given agency and people hated him for it. So the next characters of colour had to be such bland and good people that your only explanation for your strong dislike of them would be racism.
I would push even further to say that Derek had to be a better character than the others for him to receive any love.
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“he creeps me out” bitch WHAT
once again, if derek morgan was white you would not say he creeped you out. why the fuck do feel the need to sit there and be blatantly anti-black, blatantly racist, like you think its fucking funny. especially on a post celebrating him. kiss my ass.
“he creeps me out” ask yourself fucking why you think he creeps you out. why does this black man, who is constantly smiling, smart as shit, full of kindness and compassion, only cares about other people, is a phenomenal friend to everyone in his life, endlessly gentle and full of love, why does that creep you out mf why
why? because you are afraid of black men. you are afraid of black men because you are racist. because you are prejudiced. if this man who has not hurt one fucking person in his life creeps you out that is your fucking issue. dont put that on him bitch. kiss my ass.
do not sit there and act like this man is anything but what he is. no one fucking cares that you dont like him. especially when there is no damn reason to hate him that is not rooted in deep racist beliefs. you have no right to paint him in that way.
derek morgan is one of the most well-rounded, dynamic, human fictional male characters in media and if he were white, you wouldnt have one fucking thing to say. his character is extremely important when it comes to male victims of abuse and the fact that he is also black only adds to that importance. how fucking dare you sit there and act like he is anything other than what he is.
he is a beautiful character his humanity is incredible and for people to sit there and call him angry and creepy and predatory is fucking racist. and i will never ever hesitate to call people the fuck out.
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