crackinglamb

[crackinglamb]

adults are always talking about how “kids will do anything to get out of school” and okay, first of all that’s not true, but I think we really need to ask why that idea holds so much sway.

children’s brains are hard-wired to take in new information and acquire new skills. consider, for a moment, just how thoroughly our society had to fuck up the concept of education for it to be a normal thing to assume kids are universally desperate to avoid learning.

#this

[crackinglamb]

I love you, Mr. Murderbritches.

#sound ON #cats #ish

[crackinglamb]

I cast Protection from The Discourse

All party members are granted +10 and advantage on saves versus hot takes, immunity to sealioning, and may cast Dispell Whataboutism as a free action until the end of the encounter.

#a blessing

[crackinglamb]

#*snort

[crackinglamb]

#always reblog

[crackinglamb]

IDGAF if the women in my fiction are empowering or aspirational, I'm an adult, I don't need role models, I want the women in my fiction to be interesting, and if that involves being pathetic, hypocritical, amoral, or trapped in a delightfully dysfunctional relationship so be it

#this

[crackinglamb]

stop telling your teenage daughters who say they don't want kids that they'll change their mind

#Lamb the Younger has informed me that she does not want to have children #or at least that she doesn't want to give birth to them #and I said 'cool' because it's her body and she can do with it as she likes

[crackinglamb]

No, no, you misunderstood me. The best trope isn't the villain gets the girl, the best trope is the girl gets the villain.

#😈😈😈

[crackinglamb]

The fact that Sir Patrick Stewart and Sir Ian Mckellen are best friends in real life makes me so happy

x

#it's never too late #patrick stewart #ian mckellen #team peapod is like this too

[crackinglamb]

"Easter Egg" Weevil (Pachyrhynchus cf. erichsoni), family Curculionidae, Mindanao, Philippines

photographs by Bald Guy With a Camera

#insect #weevil #polka dots!

[crackinglamb]

We should piss on the poor

[crackinglamb]

This is so wholesome

#always reblog

[crackinglamb]

#sound ON #wait for it...

[crackinglamb]

[crackinglamb]

#sound ON #some intensive ekekekekekeks

[crackinglamb]

If you don’t do Demands of the Qun, the Chargers live, but Bull remains loyal to the qun. If you leave him behind, he’ll arrive through a side door to fight you on Viddasala’s orders anyway.  

Consider Krem.  

Consider Krem, who sits in a chair on Bull’s bad side, to be his eyes, so the chief can relax when he’s off-duty. Consider Krem, who trusts Bull with his life, but knows he can get up to some truly hair-brained shenanigans when left on his own, and watches him as often as he watches the room.  

Consider Krem seeing Bull slip out of the tavern, silently, without a word to anyone, with his jaw set and his eye sharp. Consider Krem feeling unease in the pit of his stomach, an unshakable feeling that something is up. Consider Krem following, quietly. 

Bull is good at what he does, but he’s focused on his mission and he’s taught Krem well. Consider the Iron Bull and his shadow passing unseen, both driven by a duty and loyalty of very different kinds. 

The Iron Bull arrives to join the fight, on the wrong side, on the right side, to prove himself a traitor and a loyal soldier. 

Krem knows Iron Bull is a qunari, knows he is Ben Hassrath, but it’s one thing to know a fact and another thing to know. The Iron Bull does not act like a qunari. He sings dirty songs and he drinks and he laughs too loud and he fucks like it’s going out of style. 

Consider Krem, for the first time, seeing Hissrad. 

No hard feelings, bas.

In this version of the story, Iron Bull’s loyalty was never tested. He never had to make a sacrifice, one way or the other. This is the story where Iron Bull could have it both ways, where he could continue his knife-edge dance between Tal Vashoth and Qunari. 

But in being both, he is also neither, and when Krem charges in and places himself between Hissrad and the Inquisitor, there is no certainty for the Iron Bull to lean on. The qunari sees an obstacle to be dealt with, but the tal vashoth sees Krem. 

“What are you doing, Chief?“ 

Do the words come? I am doing my duty. Anaan esaam qun. Or do they stick in his throat, hot and raw, because without certainty, the orders made his head swim and his stomach tie into knots, made the faces of the men and women he’s fought beside flicker like nightmares in his mind. The qun has been so far and so distant for so long. To have it this close again, is it a comfort? Or a cage? Does he know the difference? 

“Get out of the way, Krem.“ 

”No.“

Krem is loyal to the Iron Bull first and foremost, but in this world, the tal vashoth world, loyalty is not blind obedience. It’s Krem’s job to push back, to question schemes, to be the voice of something like reason. 

“Don’t do this, Chief. This isn’t you.“ 

But it is. But it isn’t. An order was given. One that Hissrad is compelled to obey. One that the Iron Bull is incapable of obeying. 

“You have to go through me first,” Krem says, angry, determined, defiant, unflinching. Consider Krem, loyal beyond death, who found a friend and a purpose and a home with the Iron Bull. Whose last thoughts, in another story, were of certainty and trust. He’ll come. He’ll call. He won’t leave us. Horns pointing up. In every story where he stands between Hissrad and Iron Bull, he is not afraid.   

There is no version of this story where he dies. When the ax falls, it is from numb fingers, and it rings bloodless against the stones at their feet. 

As long as Krem draws breath, Hissrad will always become Iron Bull.

#krem #the iron bull #oh my heart

[crackinglamb]