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crazycookies73307 · 2 months

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It's amazing just how much you're willing to do for someone when you like them.

In the romantic sense, I mean.

When you platonically like someone you'd do anything for them, as long as you're able to handle it.

When you romantically like someone, though? That's a whole different level we're talking about.

When you romantically like someone, you'd do anything for them, even if it's sometimes beyond your capabilities.

You might be drowning in your own sorrows, but their suffering always feels like a greater loss. So much so that you feel as though you'd bear their pains on top of your own, just so that they wouldn't have to.

You might find yourself terribly busy, but you always manage to make time for them. You might not know anything related to their interests, so despite being behind on just about everything else, you still somehow manage to learn about them.

Granted, all this is applicable to platonic love as well, but somehow, you felt that romantic love had a certain magical feel to it.

Maybe it was the influence of too many Disney movies, but who cares.

But in the same way, it was also amazing just how much you're not willing to do for someone who you don't like.

Again, in the romantic sense.

See, this is what you meant about the difference between platonic and romantic love. As far as life has worked out for you, when you romantically like someone, you'd find a way to give them the moon and when you just platonically like someone, you'd barely be willing to give them a polished pebble.

Or maybe, you just have shitty friends.

Correction, shitty friend.

You'd do anything for him, even it meant your own doom, but God forbid if the same applied to you.

Their messages were read as soon as they were delivered. Yours was left on delivered for a while.

They ask him for a favour, he'd do it. Granted, it would take a bit of convincing. But for you? Yeah, dream on.

Situations arose where you'd be partnered together. And more than half the time, you know he'd rather be paired with someone else. A certain someone else.

Unless your help was necessary, that is.

Somehow, you had the solutions for everyone's problems.

The advisor, the helper, the mother, the tutor, the therapist, the mentor.

It also sucked that you were an enigma for the rest. You somehow managed to stay on the top of your game despite taking on more and more.

But few knew of your disastrous tendency to procrastinate. Pair it with your perfectionistic attitude and it was a recipe for a disaster, the result being an extremely stressed, sleep deprived and caffeine high you.

You still pushed through, though.

Out of sheer spite and willpower, but still.

The fact was, that you were a busy person. And it's a universal truth that busy people are always stressed.

When you were a busy person with a stupid crush on a guy you know you've got zero chance with, it made your stress ten times worse.

It was as though the universe was against you.

The perfect guy, one who actually wasn't your type, but ended up redefining your idea of your ideal type to fit himself in.

The one guy who you knew, was not necessarily a bad match for you, personality wise anyways. Lord knows if there's anything else lurking beneath.

The one guy who managed to make your tough attitude melt into absolute nothing.

The one guy who managed to make you, who dreamt of lazy rainy evenings and warm tea , end up dreaming about the mushy stuff. Stuff you wouldn't normally dream about, not with a clear cut idea anyway, like your dates, hugs, talks, and even your marriage.

Especially your marriage.

The one guy who managed to break down a lot of your walls, the one guy you felt safe with, the one guy you knew you could trust openly, and you couldn't have him.

For reasons out of your control, you just weren't what he was looking for.

You were good enough to help him.

You were good enough to listen to his troubles.

You were good enough to be used as an excuse for when crap went sideways, because after all, you were trusted.

You were kind, after all. His words, not yours.

It's kind of embarassing, just how much you were willing to do for his sake, and just how little you expected him to do for you.

What you wanted were your thoughts, emotions and actions returned. What you received, was an entirely different matter.

He cared about her,worried about her, and for better or for worse, cried for her. To the extent that you sometimes wished you could stab yourself rather than to witness the scenes unfold.

If he was so capable of such emotions, so capable of freely expressing them, then why was it that he never even gave an ounce of it your way?

Were you worthy of the bare minimum effort? The bare minimum care?

Were you worth so little?

Was that it?

Was that why you were always, always one of the lowest of his priorities?

Maybe it was a you problem, maybe it had nothing to do with him.

But was it really?

Was it really your fault that he chose her over you, every single time?

Was it really your fault, when he made the choice to prioritise her needs over his own, and then come crying to you?

Was it really your fault, when he decided to play a dangerous game of chase with her, willingly allowing you to be the first hand witness to their game?

Was it really your fault, when despite you being there to help him out of his messes, especially regarding hers, he still went running to her for comfort?

They created the messes that you had to clean up.

They were the ones who made bad life choices and come running to you for advice.

They were the ones who were involved in the god forsaken game of cat and mouse, somehow dragging you into the middle of the mess.

They were the ones who forced you into a corner sometimes, with you being needed to cover for them, in the face of a lot of people.

They were the ones who had to be careful in their so-called games, but you were the one forced to enforce the said caution.

In their point of view, you were the villain in their story.

Always poking around, ruining a part of their fun.

But they also know that they were the ones who forced you into the role. That someone was needed to possess the common sense that they lacked. Of course, whether they listened to the said common sense was another matter entirely.

Granted, sometimes you enjoyed putting them in their places a bit too much.

Despite his devil may care attitude when it came to anyone other than her, you knew that he did care for you. You knew that he did consider you to be a friend. After all, you did spend a lot of time together for you to just be named an acquaintance.

It was just that his efforts towards you paled in comparison to those directed towards her.

It also didn't help that he trusted you enough that he knew you'd not betray him, or his feelings that even he himself was kind of oblivious about. It was obvious to you both that he had certain questionable feelings, definitely not of the platonic type, towards her but you knew him well enough to know he'd rather ignore them for the sake of his sanity. At the cost of your own, you admit.

You were the one he cried to about things related to her, you were the one who knew that he was actually completely whipped for her. Not that he was good at hiding it, just about everyone could see it. It was just that you were the only one who was aware of the extent of it.

Sometimes you were sick of playing the adult. Sometimes you wanted to shake him out of this stupid mess he called his feelings. Sometimes you wanted to scream at him, of how you wanted out.

Out of everything that you never wanted to get yourself into.

Sometimes, you wanted him to just get over himself and confess, after all, atleast then you didn't have to see him pine around for someone else.

The rest of the time you were content about being there for him, regardless of the toll it took on your emotions.

Something is better than nothing, right?

And while you were torturing yourself with their roundabout pining, you'd rather be the first to find out if they ever decided to commit. At least you could get the time to prepare your poor, poor heart for when you'd have to break the reality to it.

The same heart, that despite the torturous wait, still hoped that he'd look your way. That he'd find that what he was looking for all this while, was actually right next to him.

That your efforts would be rewarded.

They had to be, right?

No deity was cruel enough to let all those efforts, those feelings, those thoughts, those tears, be for nothing, right?

Your mind said otherwise, but your foolish heart stubbornly kept on believing.

You knew, heartbreak was the only outcome of this stupid situation that you'd gotten yourself into.

You just hoped that when the time came, they would be kind enough to break it cleanly into two, rather than shatter it completely into tiny pieces.

At least it would be easier to put it back together.

Hopefully, anyways.

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crazycookies73307 · 3 months

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The words hit home.

#cookie talks

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crazycookies73307 · 3 months

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The fluff is done!

Thank you so much for requesting, really, it's such a huge motivation boost.

I'm not sure if the second part will be up to your tastes but I hope you enjoy it!

Part 2(fluff)

They were just friends.

Or so they told everyone else. But it was quite obvious that there was something between them. A spark of sorts, a small what-if. Almost like an untold assurance that if one was to make the first move, they would not be denied.

They couldn't see it for themselves, but it was quite easily picked up by their mutual friend groups. How their personalities complemented each other so well, how one was always aware of what the other was doing despite being apart for a while.

How they always managed to bring up the other in their daily routines. How one couldn't possibly do without the other, after all everything else is so dull compared to them.

But still, they were just friends.

You wanted to believe that, truly you did. But how could you?

Not when you could see for yourself that there was something in the future of them, and that something was more than a friendship.

It was the start of something beautiful, something so endearing that anyone would love to see what the future held for them.

And you would have felt the same way, hell, you do feel that way sometimes, had it not been for the fact that you wanted him for yourself.

It was not his fault, no.

He was amazing.

In a world of boys, he was a gentleman.

For all the tough talk, he had the softest of hearts.

And maybe, that's why you fell for him.

You would love for it to be a cliche, and say that you didn't know when your feelings for him started, but you knew.

You knew exactly when your boundaries becam blurred.

And no, it wasn't when you first saw him. Yeah, you thought he was quite cute, anyone with eyes would. But that's it. You were strangers that circumstances just threw together. Somehow you two became friends, despite the both of you being kinda awkward in your ways.

What began as an acquaintanceship, slowly,but surely grew to be a friendship.

Sadly enough, your feelings had already taken a turn for another destination by the time you reached the point of friendship.

You knew you were screwed when you woke up one day and felt something else in your heart. A tiny little seed of excitement or was it apprehension? about the things yet to come.

Having had crushes before, you knew, that it was the beginning of yet another exhausting journey. But this one crush, if you can call if that, turned out to be different from all the ones before.

The feelings involved didn't come out of nowhere, you knew exactly when and how it started to develop.

He wasn't anything like your usual crushes, but you couldn't stop thinking about him.

There were no butterflies in your stomach, you had heart palpitations instead.

You didn't crave his attention, you were simply happy to be in his presence.

And most of all, you didn't want him to be yours. Not when his happiness lay with someone else; even if he wasn't aware of it himself.

Your feelings weren't rushed, they came slow, building themselves up from a solid foundation of who you knew him to be. This time, you didn't idolize him, instead accepted him for what he was, a flawed human being.

Flaws or no flaws, you felt safe when he was there with you. As if nothing could ever go wrong,nothing could ever harm you, as long as you were with him.

And that sense of safety, you knew, was part of why you fell for him.

You would love to say that you fell for reasons unknown, for the sake of sounding romantic, but you knew yourself better than anyone.

You were independent, the one who was always the one caring for everyone else, and so you knew, the fact that he cared for your well being was one of the major factors why you fell for him. In fact, you could swear that that it was when he first displayed that specific trait that your feelings took a turn for the worst.

For the first time in your life, your crush stemmed from something other that superficial stuff. It was his character that attracted you to him, and as you began to know him better, his character was what made you fall.

You have always been good at observing people, but you were particularly good at reading him like an open book.

A tic in the jaw? Yeah he's annoyed.

He's not humming? Something is on his mind.

His foot is tapping? He's stressed.

A dead expression? Oh, he's furious. God save anyone who gets in his way.

He tended to be short tempered sometimes, had an indecisive streak and didn't for the love of anything, know to say no.

He came off to be tough, but had a weakness for all things cute,whether be it cute kids or cats or even toys. He wanted to come across as a kind of a tough guy, and he was, as far as physical strength was concerned, but as far as his heart was concerned?

He was the softest guy on earth.

He was also an introvert at heart, for all his attempts at being extroverted. He helped anyone who was going through a tough time, but never asked for help himself.

It was by a complete coincidence that you found that he had some issues with his family that he was dealing with. Nothing too major, but still. You then became the only one to know of his hard times. Obviously, he didn't tell you everything, but you never pushed him to reveal everything. You never mentioned the topic again and never teased or even comment on them again after your talks. So maybe that's why he continued to tell you the kind of stuff that he never did to others, you listened and comforted but never forced him to do anything. As said earlier, he hated asking for help, and he would rather not think about his few moments of weakness.

That's the one part of him that you could proudly say belonged to you, and not her.

She was a new addition to his friend group, just as you were. But their friendship was on a whole different level compared to yours.

He never compared, he never let anyone feel left out but that didn't mean that you didn't compare yourself to her.

You wanted to hate her, but you were mature enough to know that blaming others for no reason was of no use at all. So you didn't. And somehow in the process of not hating her, you grew close with her as well.

You locked away your feelings in the deepest chambers of your heart, hoping, wishing, praying that no one ever finds out. Still, you hope that one day maybe, just maybe your feelings will ge returned.

You play your part, shipping them together with the rest of of your friends, until you started to believe yourself that maybe they were meant to be after all.

You want to get rid of the ache in your chest whenever you see them together. It feels like you're stabbing yourself everytime you tease them. But, you still continue to do so anyways.

After all, what better way to hide your own desires than to completely destruct them?

Regardless of your attempts, the feelings didn't fade, but now the ever present ache is such a huge part of you that it would be weird for it to not be there.

Others came your way, that he never came to know of, but were rejected. Dating for the sake of dating was never your thing anyways.

You still hope, in your heart of hearts that he comes to you. But that's a dream that's never going to be fulfilled. That's the one dream that you hope you'll give up on soon.

After all, isn't it better that he's in your life as a friend rather than to completely lose him forever?

You would gladly let yourself be there for him for as long as he needed you to, and be content living in the memories you shared. After all, even if fate decides to take you two through different paths in life, he'll still be with you, in the sense that he was the first guy you ever truly wanted for yourself.

The one who earned the right to be called your first love, despite the two of you never actually being involved.

Still, he was the one who helped you to form a definition for the word 'love' for the first time, and that too, in the purest form possible.

So that's what he will forever be to you, your first love.

#cookie reblogs!#cookie talks #ilysm <3

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crazycookies73307 · 3 months

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Part 1!

Being gay was difficult when everyone shipped you with a guy.

Maybe it was her own fault for not being public about it, but honestly, her business was her's alone.

Common sense would proclaim that maybe she just wasn't interested in guys in general, and considering her past partners, it should've been obvious. But then again, her current friend group was relatively new, having moved to a new place. And not to be mean,but common sense was something that they seemed to lack.

This lack of common sense was evident, when the guy they shipped her with, knew she was gay, and was also down bad for someone else in the very same friend group.

Maybe it was the inner romantic in her speaking, but those two were simply meant to be.

The rest probably failed to notice it, but you were the one that completed him, not her.

You were the one who supported him regardless of your own troubles. You were the one who could easily read him, despite having known him for a far lesser time than the rest of the group.

The reason why you were so overlooked was probably because of your preference to stay in the background of things. Your presence was never overbearing, always comforting. Almost like a mother, in the sense that the group, including herself, felt comfortable with you, even when you were not physically present, as they knew you'd be there for them.

Never asking, and always giving.

She had deduced from your behavioural tendencies that your love language was acts of service. Though not always necessarily in the romantic sense.

You grew to be the support system of the group, helping them when they themselves weren't aware that they need it. You never waited to be asked, you just did whatever was needed to do.

You were always aware of what everyone was feeling, and that was something she envied sometimes. Like, how do you manage to be so in tune with anyone?

That being said, this awareness of yours and you selfless, caring attitude came to the forefront whenever he was concerned.

Being a girl herself, it wasn't hard to guess why.

To say that she found it to be the most wholesome thing she'd ever witnessed would be an understatement.

She first came to know of it when she caught you smiling at him once. What gave you away was the fact that he wasn't doing anything. He was just laid across the desk at the library, during on of your group's study sessions. You, being the unofficial mother of the group were also turned into their tutor. You had helped everyone, and he had finished half of his work and was waiting for you to help him with a certain part of it He hadn't said anything, he just took one look at you, to see that you were busy helping someone else, and he just laid his forehead to the desk, as though to mentally preparing himself to catch your attention. The others hadn't noticed anything, and she wouldn't have noticed it herself, had it not been for the fact that she was right next to him. She had looked up to see you, wrapping up whatever you were explaining and looked at him. Just one look, and you smiled.

And in that one smile, she knew.

You, my dear, were whipped.

Your smile was one of fond exasperation, knowing he would probably convince himself to not ask for your help, and moved over to him. By then, he had gotten up and was attempting to solve the question himself, and you moved beside him to simply state a couple of hints needed for the question. He had let out a quiet laugh, one only meant for your ears.

But being the eavesdropper that she was, she had heard it loud and clear.

And that one interaction was what led her to quietly simp for the two of you.

He was kinda hard to read, and she herself was intimidated at first. But he turned to be the first in the group to figure out her orientation. That was what helped her overcome the intimidation and get closer to him.

He soon became her confidant, the one she spoke to whenever she needed advice. She even gushed about her crushes to him. While she gushed, he listened. Being the type of guy he was, he never 'gushed'. At some point, she was convinced that she would have have to give up on her dream of you two living together in a beautiful home with two kids and a dog.

But she soon figured it out, that he might not 'gush' about anyone. His feelings were conveyed otherwise. It was through his eyes, through his gaze, that always followed you, for as long as he could without being caught. It was through his actions that protected you from even the slightest of inconveniences. It was through his minor comments, that he let slip of how your hard working attitude was to be admired.

Soon, she realised that you may have been the one to fall first. But he fell harder.

But the fact that neither of you were bold enough to be the one to make the first move was the root cause of all her problems at the moment.

Knowing girls, she had a feeling you wouldn't confess, for the fear of rejection would overcome anything else. But she also know of the impulsive nature of boys, in general.

A push was needed in the right direction, and if the fates had decided her to be the one to do the job, then who was she to argue?

At some point in their friendship, she let it slip that she would have totally gone for you, had it not been for the fact that you were already off the market. She didn't bother to mention the fact that you're straight.

He had immediately froze.

"What do you mean she's off the market?" He'd asked. And she'd innocently commented about how you were actually on the recieving end of quite a few confessions, and that it was only a matter of time before you found someone you wanted to be with.

She'd never seen him go into a frenzy as he did then.

Oh, to be in love.

"What confessions? Who? When? How come I didn't know? Why didn't-"

She had laughed at him and asked him to calm down. She'd asked him why he was so surprised, after all you were quite pretty. A pretty girl being confessed to was not exactly a new thing.

He had glared in response.

And in that one look and she knew, he wasn't surprised, no. He didn't doubt your ability to pull anyone you wanted.

Hell, he knew that better than anyone.

What he was worried about, was that he might've lost you to competitions unknown. Jerks who only fell for a pretty face.

In his eyes you were not just pretty, you were beautiful. And that wasn't even the best part of you. What attracted him even more was your heart, your character, and anything and everything that made you, you.

Granted he'd never let you know of his intentions, for the fear of losing you, but maybe it was time for the fear to take a backseat.

He looked at her, determination glinting in his eyes, as he said that he had something to do, before it was too late.

She'd smiled, mischief glinting in her eyes, as she wished him the best of luck. Watching as he marched out of the room, reaching for his phone, to wherever you were.

She laughs quietly, looking out the window as she thought of how some dreams could could come true, with the right push at the right time, in the right direction.

She just hoped she'd find someone to be cute with herself.

#haikyuu x reader #iwaizumi hajime x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #osamu miya x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu #osamu miya #iwaizumi hajime #kuroo tetsurou #haikyuu drabbles

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crazycookies73307 · 3 months

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They were just friends.

How they always managed to bring up the other in their daily routines. How one couldn't possibly do without the other, after all everything else is so dull compared to them.

But still, they were just friends.

You wanted to believe that, truly you did. But how could you?

Not when you could see for yourself that there was something in the future for them, and that something was more than a friendship.

It was the start of something beautiful, something so endearing that anyone would love to see what the future held for them.

And you would have felt the same way, hell, you do feel that way sometimes, had it not been for the fact that you wanted him for yourself.

It was not his fault, no.

He was amazing.

In a world of boys, he was a gentleman.

For all his tough talk, he had the softest of hearts.