creaturesfromelsewhere

[creaturesfromelsewhere]

(Not mine, but I'm kicking myself for not thinking of it first.)

#not mine #florida humor #florida alligator #florida gothic #keep florida weird #southern gothic #creepy #florida gator #creaturesfromelsewhere #boy riding gator

[creaturesfromelsewhere]

See this kind of thing in my swamp behind my place quite often. Must be a slow news day in Miami.

#slow news day #florida gothic #florida humor #gator death roll #florida gator #southern gothic #darkly inclined #keep florida weird #creepy #creaturesfromelsewhere

[creaturesfromelsewhere]

Please visit. We must feed on normals to survive.

#florida gothic #darkly inclined #dark humor #keep florida weird #gothic horror #southern gothic #creepy #florida humor #creaturesfromelsewhere

[creaturesfromelsewhere]

Dobby looks just like my cat!

#dobby_the_super_cat #not mine #florida cat humor #florida humor #cat humor #goth humor #creaturesfromelsewhere #florida gothic

[creaturesfromelsewhere]

Nite, nite, Florida puppy!

creaturesfromelsewhere 2-11-2024

#buttercup #florida puppy #florida gothic #darkly inclined #creaturesfromelsewhere

[creaturesfromelsewhere]

creaturesfromelsewhere 02-02-2024

#dark humor #florida gothic #keep florida weird #florida humor #creaturesfromelsewhere

[creaturesfromelsewhere]

Nothing to see here, folks. Just another black bear!

creaturesfromelsewhere 1-25-2024

#bigfoot #florida gothic #florida monsters #swamp ape #creaturesfromelsewhere

[creaturesfromelsewhere]

And may Krampus take all the naughty children away this Yuletide, leaving behind only the faint echos of their screams!

creaturesfromelsewhere 12-25-2023

#florida christmas tree #florida christmas #gothmas #hexmas #creepmas #yuletide #dark humor #florida gothic #darkly inclined #keep florida weird #creaturesfromelsewhere

[creaturesfromelsewhere]

My people.

#florida mugshots #dark humor #darkly inclined #florida gothic #creaturesfromelsewhere #creepy #florida humor

[creaturesfromelsewhere]

Dreaming of a white Christmas.

creaturesfromelsewhere 12/21/2023

#florida snow #white christmas #florida humor #dark humor #darkly inclined #florida gothic #creaturesfromelsewhere

[creaturesfromelsewhere]

Tell me you know the best places to dump bodies, without saying you know the best places to dump bodies.

creaturesfromelsewhere 12-12-2023

#florida gothic #darkly inclined #dark humor #keep florida weird #creepy #gothic horror #florida humor #southern gothic #alligator infested lakes #florida alligator #creaturesfromelsewhere

[creaturesfromelsewhere]

#Buttercup #florida puppy #florida christmas #santa and gator #florida humor #santa humor #creaturesfromelsewhere

[creaturesfromelsewhere]

New Tales of Florida Gothic - Chapter 6

"Despite my ghoulish reputation, I really have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk." Robert Bloch

Whenever a freshly dug grave appears in your yard, you know it's time to kill again.

Although not native to Florida, many swamp witches cultivate Aspen trees for use as an extra set of eyes.

With basements so uncommon in Florida, most police never think to look for hidden trapdoors.

Something has been clawing at the trees in the swamp behind your house. A direct challenge to your territorial hunting grounds that cannot go unanswered.

Florida homes that survive hurrricanes unscathed are usually protected by the old gods, not the new.

Warning signs in Florida should be taken seriously. Very seriously.

creaturesfromelsewhere 11/22/2023

#new tales of florida gothic #florida gothic #darkly inclined #gothic horror #the old gods #freshly dug graves #warning signs #territorial hunting grounds #swamp witches #all seeing aspen trees #creaturesfromelsewhere #creepy #macabre #eerie #haunting

[creaturesfromelsewhere]

As 2024 is a Leap Year, this is correct on November 2nd!

You can only reblog this on November 1st

#the nightmare before christmas #364 days to Halloween #next Halloween #dark humor #darkly inclined #goth #creaturesfromelsewhere #not mine

[creaturesfromelsewhere]

In Florida, something always gets you in the end.

creaturesfromelsewhere 10-28-2023

#iguana in toilet #toilet iguana #keep florida weird #florida gothic #dark humor #florida humor #iguana humor #creaturesfromelsewhere

[creaturesfromelsewhere]

I may just have to film this most Florida of events.

creaturesfromelsewhere 10-26-2023

#florida man #florida gothic #keep florida weird #dark humor #florida humor #creaturesfromelsewhere

[creaturesfromelsewhere]

Yeah, I don't agree with that list, and I doubt the average Floridian would agree, either. Here's the real list:

#5 - Mr. Food Go Go!: Although no longer mobile, Mr. Food Go Go! continues to keep Floridians well fed in an abandoned mayonnaise field near the Green Swamp Wilderness Preserve. The overwhelming menu favorite is menu item #3, The Vaguely Food Platter.

#4 - Howling Mad Skeeter's BBQ: Located in an alley behind Juggs Gentleman's Club near Shady Grove, FL, Skeeter's has been a local landmark ever since the volunteer fire department overdosed. House specialties include "Oh God, I'm on Fire!" and lead paint.

#3 - Buzzard's Fill Yer Food Hole Roadside Diner: Located near the Choctawhatchee River trash dump on an unshaded stretch of road across from the Jenkin's Family Cemetery, Buzzard's features a rotating menu contingent on traffic volume, but well known for regional favorates 'deer,' 'dog,' and 'crazy old lady who walks too close to the road.'

#2 - Unkle Red Eyes Meat's Back on the Menu Boys: Located somewhere in the Everglades on a floating mat of decaying vegetatation, Unkle Red Eyes is reknown for it's exotic mix of savory meats randomly brought in by Unkle Red's trained gators. Be sure to order your meal rare for that authentic Unkle Red's flavor everyone raves about.

And finally, the #1 most romantic Floirda restaurant is:

#1 - Waffle House. For 30 years running, Waffle House still holds the record for most Floridian marriage proposals, marriage ceremonies, and divorce initiations proving itself as the hands down, most romantic Florida restaurant.

creaturesfromelsewhere 10-24-2023

#florida gothic #darkly inclined #dark humor #florida humor #keep florida weird #southern gothic #waffle house #most romantic florida restaurant #creaturesfromelsewhere