crones-trash

[crones-trash]

I barely have the energy to maintain my daily routines & household maintenance. I'm going to stop sharing my stories on my Weird Anecdotes blog if I don't get more likes or reactions. Goodness gracious, when I did this on My Space over a decade ago, I built a community of over 100 people around the world who engaged in long dialogues w/ me & each other about my content. Often, I got negative reactions, replied, & we had stimulating conversations. I enjoyed myself. I was hoping the same would happen here. But alas, it hasn't. <heavy sigh>

#Weird Anecdotes #should I bother?

[crones-trash]

The Toddler Twins were being dysfunctional yesterday. I had in mind the idea of each of them sitting snugly beside me while I read Aarika's book. BUT NO, they insisted on sitting together, giggling & wrestling with each other. I got as far as reading the title on the cover then asked, "Which one is Boris?" They both emphatically answered, "The dog!" HA! I read thru a few more pages as they identified "Bird!" & "Squirrel!" Then lost their attention at "Rabbit" when their rough-housing got out of hand & spun out of control into tears & tantrums. It was not a good day to get a fair reading.

Indeed, my visit was cut short by a migraine cause by their chaotic misbehavior. Their shrieking was intolerable. Oh well. Guess I'll try again on another day when they aren't all het up.

My daughter told me, "Everyone complains about the Terrible Twos but age four has been much worse!"

#Failure to test quality of children's book

[crones-trash]

Got my copy of Aarika's book today! And it says, "Written and Illustrated by Aarika Wolf" on the title page. The book is naturally dedicated to Boris & Gregg but also to her nephew, Wallace Wolf.

The entire book is lovely to look at, feels soft & smooth to touch, & is written in rhyme—perfect for young children. I'm going to test that out this afternoon when I read it to the Toddler Twins.

I'll report their reactions later.

#Boris & Gregg #The Adventures of Two Unlikely Friends #written & illustrated by #Aarika Wolf

[crones-trash]

I bought it already!

#Boris & Gregg #Aarika Wolf #Children's Book

[crones-trash]

So sweet! 🥰 Aarika made a book for children! Suddenly!

Totally sweet. Her rhyming verses are adorable. I wonder who did the illustrations. I dunno about "Suddenly!" She could have been writing it for a year for all we know, working w/ the illustrator, finding a publisher, etc. You don't arrive at a pre-publication prototype overnight, ya'know. I'll probably buy a copy to give to my Grandkids.

[crones-trash]

This is Important...

I'm going to share something here that only my children know. My reason is: I'm aware of speculation about someone's imminent wedding &, if I should die, I don't want anyone joking about it killing me.

So. I had a heart attack a little over a month ago. It was the "silent" type & I didn't even know I'd had one. I suffered a long episode of extreme shortness of breath that seriously disturbed me. Afterwards, all I knew was I felt like crap—feeble & fatigued w/ episodes of breathlessness during minor exertion.

I tried to get an appointment w/ my Primary Care Physician but the earliest opening on her calendar was a month away. Feeling desperate, I called the advice line at my healthcare provider, described what had happened & my continuing symptoms then asked if there was any way I could get an appointment w/ my PCP ASAP.

Instead, w/o a hint of what she suspected, the nurse asked if I could go to one of their clinics immediately. Well, sure. After an examination by a PA, I was sent for a chest X-ray & an EKG. Then it took days for the results to come in. The X-ray showed blockage in an aorta leading to my heart and the EKG confirmed I'd suffered damage to my heart muscle & had a heart rate below 60 bpm. For reference, normal heart rate is 80. An MD at the clinic emailed w/ the news that I'd had a silent heart attack. Well, fuck!

Suddenly, my PCP had an opening to see me. No shit, almost dying gets you to the front of the line. She started me on a new medication, told me she'd push me to the front of line to see a cardiologist, & told me when—not if—I had another episode to call the EMTs immediately because the next one might kill me! Fuckity-FUCK!

Ya'know, I never intended to live this long. I was thinking/feeling I had another 5 years or more of enduring chronic pain before I attained my lifetime quota of suffering. I was fully at peace w/ that prospect.

But now I could die this afternoon or tomorrow! I'll be glad to leave this body behind but I realized publishing my stories is something I'd like to get done before I'm gone. As I've gone thru my stories & essays, it's been like reliving my life—very therapeutic. I'm inclined now to go forward w/ putting the stories in autobiographical order instead of pulling out the funny ones for your enjoyment. They'll still be included in the order in which they occurred but the chapters before & after might not be entirely humorous. But they will still be WEIRD because I AM!

#Weird Anecdotes #My Fucked UP Life Story

[crones-trash]

I put up another story on Weird Anecdotes. It's a ghost story.

#Weird Anecdotes #Wallpaper Roses #a ghost story

[crones-trash]

Publishing again.

I've posted another one of my Weird Anecdotes for those who enjoy reading them.

#weird anecdotes #The Tornado

[crones-trash]

book "Life with Calvin Harris - music, watermelons and mistresses"

Including "mistresses" wouldn't be "wholesome". Not to mention publishing a book about her life w/ Calvin would definitely violate whatever agreement allows her to live in a $2.5m house rent-free.

My best guess is she's put together a recipe book based on her mixtures of healthy juices, exotic teas w/ rose petals, & various smoothie concoctions. OR she wrote what it is sure to be a bestseller—How to Teach Tricks to Dogs AND CATS! I'd have to buy that one.

ETA: Look at this! New & improved Tumblr allowed me answer an anon in my crones-trash persona. This in no way empowers anyone to send me crap. I can block you here just as well I used to do on my abandoned main account.

[crones-trash]

I am currently suffering thru a computer upgrade & it's the most frustrating transition evah. I'm used to doing things in a certain way & Microsoft keeps interfering by intruding w/ their products. The worst thing is not being able to open my doc files! Good Lord, I've got over 1600 files that include entire books, essays, & short stories but I can't open them w/o BUYING or actually renting Microsoft Word in a package w/ other shit I don't want. My son who is a Computer Wizard equal to my dearly departed husband set it up so I have access to both my old & new computer. He has suggested I upload my docs to the Cloud & work on them there from my new computer. I repeat:

1600+ FILES!

I'm not sure I'll live that long... Why must every damned thing in my life be complicated & difficult?

#FUCK

[crones-trash]

A cookbook? Training your pet to do tricks? What do you think it could be? Also, my goodness, she's finally doing something!

#Aarika Wolf #Coming Soon #wholesome

[crones-trash]

"The Chosen One" on Netflix

Yesterday afternoon, I thought I'd watch 15 minutes of a new Netflix series to see if it was any good. It only took that long for The Chosen One to hook me into a 6 hour binge that blew my mind.

A summary of the plot is not really as important as the overwhelming artistry of the film. Shot in a 4:3 aspect ratio, every scene, even wide vistas & towering lightning storms feels intimately intense. Fleeting mythic imagery entices the viewer into wondering what-the-heck is happening.

The story starts w/ its focus on a mother (Dianna Agron) & her son Jodie (Bobby Luhnow) fleeing unexplained but ominous danger. They settle in an impoverished village near the coast of Baja, Mexico. Both of their performances are compelling. Jodie, a previously unknown actor, projects a level of gravitas beyond his age. His self-contained persona dominates every scene he's in. Just look at him...

Good grief! If I were a preteen girl, I'd idolize him. His big blue eyes are wide-open in a state of perpetual drug-induced wonder. His mother is drugging him to suppress his powers!

Yep, the series is based on a comic book--American Jesus. Like most graphic fantasy novels, this one goes over-the-top w/ nearly operatic scenarios that tumble like dominoes falling toward a resolution I was half-expecting & fully-hoping wouldn't happen.

I won't spoil a moment of this experience by revealing too much. This is MUST WATCH TV!

#The Chosen One #Netflix #Jodie Luhnow

[crones-trash]

Asteroid City, A Personal Review

Movies by Wes Anderson are an acquired taste. Most people don't like them but those of us who do really, really love them. His style is beyond quirky, way-out-there bizarre unrealistic plots, constrained performances, & brazenly artful scenery. Anderson doesn't even try to make commercially-viable movies. He makes ART! And he employs large casts of serious actors putting them in circumstances that turn straight actors into comedians & comedians into drama stars.

Under his direction, his ensembles are forced to conform to his insistence on them doing a parody of normal speech & behavior. They drone in emotionless monotones w deadpan demeanors, which puts the emphasis on the content of their speeches. His clever scripts are laugh-out-laugh funny when you listen to the words. But, if you don't, their performances can look utterly boring. And this leads your eyes to feasting on the background details. (I confess I've sat thru a couple of his movies only absorbing the set designs & camera angles but came out feeling refreshed & happy.)

Asteroid City is The Most Wes Anderson movie EVAH! He's got an All-Star cast including Tom Hanks, Scarlet Johansen, Brian Cranston, Adrien Brody, Edward Norton, Tilda Swinton, Willem Dafoe, and many, many more. Even the bit players have recognizable faces like Margo Robbie appears in only one scene that blows your mind. And Jason Schwartzman as the central character is amazing! He was allowed to project surprising micro-bursts of real emotion within the straight-jacket of Anderson's usual affectations.

The plot is impossibly convoluted: a 1950's B&W TV show about the writing of a play about a Technicolor movie w B&W Behind-the-Scenes inclusions of the play's actors behaving more naturalistically. This might actually be a first for Anderson & he uses it to press against the boundary of his usual creative methods. Leading up to the Grand Finale, Schwartzman steps outside of his primary Technicolor role to confront the writer of the play in B&W & demands to know what the story means!

In this moment, Anderson confronts his critics because one of the main complaints about his work is "WTF was that about!" I often recommend to people who have no previous experience w his movies to enjoy the snappy dialog & lush scenery; don't even try to make sense of it; simply let it roll over you & feel whatever you feel. Usually, after the fact, I examine what I felt & find some meaning for myself.

But, this time he has the entire cast arranged in tiered seating & they crash thru the 4th Wall by directly chanting at the viewer,

"YOU CAN'T WAKE UP IF YOU DON'T FALL ASLEEP!"

My eyes flooded w tears & I felt what Anderson intended me to feel—GRIEF! Yes, indeed, the Technicolor movie is centered on a story about a man processing the death of his wife, having to tell his children their mother is dead, & making peace w the father-in-law who never liked him. It's about letting go & moving on w the rest of your life.

I realize the chant is open to interpretation &, after the fact, I googled what others thought it meant. Most of them got the message about grief from it but have varied explanations for was the literal statement means.

My interpretation is: Movies are like dreams & the best way to watch them is to suspend your disbelief & enter a semi-conscious state to allow them to "happen" to you. Then you wake up when the movie is over & apply your critical thinking to what you experienced. If you obstinately remain self-conscious & busily critical, you simply won't get THE FULL EFFECT!

And, ya'know what? Grief is like that. And so are all traumatic events. If you don't give into the process of feeling your emotions, you'll never get over it. It will always be like a ghost haunting the back of your mind that spooks you until you confront it.

As someone who has experienced traumatic grief for going on 2½ years that evolved into a state of confusion since moving to Portland, I think this movie helped me "wake up".

Hey, look! I'm writing from my heart again!

#Asteroid City #A Personal Review #About Grief

[crones-trash]

For the Love of Movies...

During my 16 years away from civilization in the desolate flatlands of eastern North Carolina where the nearest big-screen cinema was an 1½ hour drive away, I've only been to one movie. And that was when I visited my daughter in California. Now that I live it Portland, there are dozens of movie houses available. And now that my son Chris lives here, too, I have a Movie Buddy. YAY!

This weekend Oppenheimer & Barbie were sold out but, Wes Anderson's Asteroid City is past the initial crush of interest & available in an art house cinema. Chris & I love funky cinemas so we met up at the Hollywood Theater for the 2pm matinee.

It's a non-profit devoted to the love Cinema that opened almost a hundred years ago in 1926 & is possibly the most elaborate art house I've ever seen. The exterior Baroque/Gothic/Moorish façade is impressive and inside the décor swallows you up in velvety red darkness w gilt-gold trimmings. Compared to the usual bored teenagers who usually have these jobs, their adult ticket takers were enthusiastically welcoming.

It has 3 sizes of auditoriums & my first hurdle was climbing the stairs up to the smallest one. I saw maybe eight steps that ended in a left turn & thought I could handle that much knee pain. But, at the turn, I was confronted by a steep ramp that required me to pull myself up a thankfully solid railing. I kept losing my balance & thought I was losing my mind until I accepted that it was the uneven flooring! It tilted to the left then right then left again! Egad!

The upstairs lobby has no flat floors & was downright trippy like a funhouse at a carnival. I lurched like a drunkard across it to the opulent marble-floored Ladies Room while Chris waited in the concession line to hide my physical distress from him. I spent maybe 10 minutes sitting on the toilet to restore my regular breathing & fight down the pain to restore control over my body. When I rejoined Chris in line, he directed me to find us seats inside & I was relieved to have more time to recover.

The auditorium was extremely small, maybe only a dozen rows perched on steeply raised platforms. The middle rows were further divided by long shelves in front of the seats to accommodate eating & drinking. The concession stand sells local craft beers & Oregon wines, glass-bottled artisan soft drinks, popcorn ("rated best in Portland") & pizza! Oh my!

Physically, the easiest row to access didn't have a table & we didn't need one since we were only getting popcorn & the comfy chairs had drink holders. Chris got me a Cane Cola. He chose a Root Beer & the popcorn came in a brown paper bag.

This place is the epitome of hipster anti-commercialism. Instead of seeing a preview for Oppenheimer, which is playing in the largest 70mm auditorium downstairs, we were treated to delightfully funny promotions for the theater itself including their upcoming program of old Japanese Samurai movies. Chris nudged me w his elbow & whispered, "I love this place." I replied, "Me, too."

Next, I'll write up my review of Asteroid City...

#Art House Cinemas #Portland's Hollywood Theater

[crones-trash]

Oh-HA! Haven't been here for a while & Tumblr is self-promoting like mad w/ new features. I just got like an achievement Badge on this blog for producing over 100 posts. Also, I've been offered my own DOMAIN—whatever that actually means, I dunno. Probably a monthly fee is required. I don't feel like finding out today. Maybe tomorrow.

#I am a fucking TIRED OLD WOMAN #dammit

[crones-trash]

Happy to have you back on here! How have you been?

I'm not BACK back, just stopping by because of an impulse to share what I noticed. Physically, I am not doing well. This is what happens when a person in their 70's survives 4 years of relentless stress. Their body falls apart.

My life is rather placid now & I feel a bit depressed about it. HA! One does become addicted to drama, ya'know.

Otherwise, I'm still loving Portland, my home, my stand-offish cat, &, most of all, having my family altogether in one place. My daughter's life w/ her twins & fulltime job doesn't leave her any energy for going to movies. My son's oldest child has flown the nest & the other 2 are self-reliant teenagers. He & I plan to see the last Indiana Joes movie then BARBIE <oh boy> as soon as it comes out.

[crones-trash]

Y'all know I have a fascination w books in the hands of people I follow on IG. The other day in her Insta feed, Aarika presented an open book.

Naturally, I zoomed in to see what I could be read.

Naturally, I felt sad about the sweet beauty not having found someone worthy of having an affair w/ her.

Then today Google proved its worth when I searched for "book with chapter title "A Love Affair with Yourself" & got the answer.

CODEPENDENT NO MORE

A couple of quotes from the blurb on the site stood out to me:  "...codependency—the concept of losing oneself in the name of helping another..." Damn. I've done that. Also, "Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one’s self-destructive behavior, you may be codependent."

After the disaster that was my second marriage, I didn't date anyone again for 6 years! Despite having a couple of years of therapy, it took that long for me to feel like risking my heart again.

Anyway, spin this new insight into Aarika's state of mind any way you please.

#Aarika Wolf #codependancy #A Love Affair w Yourself