crookedshovel

[crookedshovel]

ayo i found 2 pages with head angles of humans and animals, could be useful to anyone reading this

hoomans

animals

[crookedshovel]

how do you play a kind prank on someone?

I’ve told this story before, but I will again.

When I lived in London, there was an old widow who lived near me. She had almost nothing to her name thanks to the laws at the time, except a small room in a house full of lodgers. She frequently made the difference in her meager living by doing spinning. Trouble was, she was almost completely blind and had very frail hands. She would nod off in her chair–the one piece of furniture she had–and leave the wool in the basket. I could see her from the rooftop that I liked to sit on, just off of Fish Street. And I knew her at sight, because she was always meeting her daughter in front of a particular shop I used to frequent. One night, I saw her nod off and the spindle hit the floor, and I thought, “I’m bored, and isn’t this a fun game to play?”

So I went and did it. I like spinning. It’s calming. It troubled me not one bit to do, and when the habit persisted, she began to wonder about it. She started leaving me presents and relying on me a bit, going to sleep on her mat, rather than sitting up in the chair. The spinning would always be done. 

What wrong with giving an old woman magic, if it is within your power to do?

I found her body when she died, by that very means, and made sure someone else knew of it. It makes me very happy that when she laid down that night, perhaps not feeling her best, or perhaps knowing it was time, she said to herself, “My little imp will come tonight and see to me.”

And I did.

[crookedshovel]

why do black people use you in the wrong context? such is "you ugly" instead of "you're ugly" I know u guys can differentiate, it's a nuisance

you a bitch

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youre not better than other people just because you listen to weird music

yes I am

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Becky combing through Professor Boxleitners old notes looking for a way to bring him back.

[crookedshovel]

She took all the penis bread in the divorce

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you know, i had heard the rumours that Trump's wife was gonna divorce him once he was out of the white house but filing for a divorce in the SAME DAY that he basically got sacked is hysterical. love that for him.

[crookedshovel]

soooooo how we feelin two months into our first furby presidency

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the legality of parodies is so funny. if you take a bit from someones work without their permission its illegal UNLESS you make fun of them

[crookedshovel]

why does there need to be a monsters inc series. and why does the new character look so boring

this is not a monster. this is just some guy

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♡ emo scene ♡

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little baby man

[crookedshovel]

Controversial opinion: I don't give a fuck how high the cringe factor is / was for dudes who were fans of The Matrix and V is for Vendetta back in the day, the era of undiagnosed autistic teenage boys running around with longcoats and swords was sick as fuck and did so much for my aesthetics regardless.

[crookedshovel]