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Hmm what if a moonlighting hitman 🦌 kidnapped a baby-faced kingpin 🍎 ??

#I’m dying #omg #this is so good

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Fun fact: Once they reach about 2 years old, deer spend the majority of their life in something commonly called a home range, which is their territory ranging from about 50 acres to 650 acres depending on food and resources. They might wander outside this area from time to time, but in general they don't stray far from the area they feel safe in unless it's absolutely necessary.

Applying this to Alastor, that probably means Alastor doesn't do the traditional overlord thing of having multiple stretches of territory or even one large territory where others would live. He could have a house and a small plot of land in Cannibal Town and he'd be set. He most likely bargains in souls and in favors, because he has no need for a large territory.

What this also means is if something happens to Alastor's territory, he wouldn't have another territory he can fall back on. Meaning that after his 7 year disappearance, he for any number of reasons decided to very quickly make the hotel his new territory.

That would be why he fights so much to defend the hotel, not necessarily because he cares (though I think he does care against his will), but because the hotel is his territory. This isn't just a matter of protection, it's a matter of staking his claim on the land. This could even play into his disdain for Lucifer, someone more powerful who could easily take that territory for himself should he choose.

TLDR; Alastor was probably homeless in the time between returning from his sabbatical and the pilot, and has no interest in doing that again.

😭

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Someone write a fic.

Lucifer starts referring to everyone by nicknames and everyone thinks it's him making an (albeit kind of corny) effort to do better by Charlie and support her dreams, but really he just forgot all their names and at this point he's too afraid to ask.

This becomes a problem later when he finally does learn everyone's names and starts using those instead. They all think he's upset with them and being passive-aggressive about it, and none of them want to ask what's wrong because to avoid communication is human. (Also no one wants to admit they like the nicknames now 😔)

#hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #lucifer hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #the radio demon #hazbin charlie #hell’s great dad

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mutuals if i like your negative posts please just imagine me patting u on the back comforting you, not like i actually like that you’re hurt

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When Lucifer is hanging out at his palace and can't get a moment's peace...

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Radioapple fic, where after the Extermination, Lucifer decides that Alastor isn't allowed to pretend to care about being Charlie's parent if he isn't going to actually step up into that role. And so he just forces Alastor to be her other dad.

The first time Charlie asks Lucifer if he can do something for her, and he goes, "Actually sweetie, I think this might be better suited for your other father," the blare of radio static was so loud a few glasses at the bar actually shattered.

Charlie was confused but ecstatic that her dad and Alastor are getting along, and Lucifer had to keep himself from cackling at Alastor's reaction (and his face, as he was forced to agree with both the task and the fact that he can't argue with Lucifer for doing this to him.)

Slowly, Lucifer just gets the entire hotel to call Alastor "Charlie's Other Dad," and whenever one of them disagrees with something she says, now Charlie will go "Well I'm going to ask my other dad, then!"

Eventually, Alastor just embraces the role that he (unintentionally) made himself have, and he does really treasure the face Lucifer makes the first time HE does the "ask your other father" routine.

(They have new mugs that say "Dad #1/Dad #2 and they actively fight to grab the Dad #1 mug before the other can reach it.)

The problem is, only the original cast was THERE for the dad fight song, and no one has told any of the new residents about it. So, to everyone else, it just looks like they really ARE Charlie's dad's and that they actually are in a relationship.

(Their constant bickering and need to be around the other isn't helping matters here.)

Pretty soon, it's not hard for the connection of Lilith going missing, Alastor going missing, and Lucifer never being in the public eye to arise. Because, what other reason would Alastor come back after a 7 YEAR hiatus just to help Lucifer’s daughter with her project, for only a few months later for Lucifer HIMSELF to come out of hiding to also help, for Lilith to still be MIA and now suddenly Alastor and Lucifer are being referred to as Charlie's dad's.

During a fight, Lucifer makes the joke about wanting a divorce and the entire hotel riots.

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[Y/N is having dinner at Alastor’s place]

Human!Alastor, cutting meat : And so I said to myself that if I didn’t become a radio host by 39 I was just gonna become a serial killer *laughs*

Y/N, suddenly feeling nervous : 🙂

Y/N : Well how old are you now? I’m getting nervous 😅

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I think, given his… erm, past, that Alastor would view murder as an appropriate form of showing affection.

He does it for all the hotel inhabitants. Everyone who starts to grow on him, who’s wellbeing he begins to care about, despite himself.

It happens with Charlie first. A sinner out on the streets talks a little too poorly about her and her hotel, her dreams, her ideas. She hears and it brings her down for only a moment (she always was one to recover quickly) but the short moment is enough for Alastor.

They find the sinner’s body impaled on the wrought iron fence the next morning. No one fully understands why Alastor seems particularly giddy about it.

The next time, it’s Angel. A client sees him outside of work, and seems to forget that he isn’t owed time he doesn’t pay for. Alastor’s shadow grows behind him, and after steering Angel and the others away, Alaator guides the man down a darkened alley.

He eats the man whole, enlarging his head to do so. He returns to the others with the man’s shiny golden tooth, which he’d spit out after devouring him, and he drops onto Angel’s hand without an explanation.

For Lucifer, it’s a bit more subtle, or at least harder to detect. Because Lucifer didn’t even know that the bodies he’s constantly finding outside his room belonged to individuals who’d once mocked his name. He hadn’t known that they’d belittled him, called him weak, called him a coward.

Alastor knew. Which is why, one by one, he picks them off. His memory is carved from stone, and he remembers each and every greatest offender.

And what better place to leave his kill than at Lucifer’s door? Like a cat presenting his master with a caught mouse, he brings his trophies back to Lucifer, depositing them where he is sure to find them and be proud.

Eventually, everyone figures it out- Alastor was never hiding it, but the others didn’t know to look for it either. They piece together that all it takes is an insult in front of Alastor, and suddenly the offender is missing, or perhaps they come across their body shortly after. Death is so common in Hell, that it takes them a while to get it.

When confronted he’ll shrug and hum, offering a half hearted wave of his hand. “I’m just doing my civic duty as patron of this hotel” he says, casually examining his claws.

No one really knows what to say. They are not used to love that is so vicious, so violent. So damning. Red paints not only Alastor’s heart but also his hands, staining him further with every act of affection.

It’s all he knows. The only way he understands to express his indebtedness to the others, the only way to carve out a bit of himself and present itself to the others for them to adore.

It’s unconventional, but so is everything that Alastor ever does.

And for the others… Well. In a place like Hell-? It’s not exactly a bad way to receive love, so long as it keeps them all safe.

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Protective (possessive?) Charlie hc:

I love the idea of Charlie thinking of Alastor as practically family, her beloved friend who is also like a second dad - until he starts dating Lucifer. Suddenly he's just the worst, he's public enemy #1, she doesn't trust him as far as Niffty can throw him, he better get his deer ass outside right now so he can catch these hands, and if he ever hurts her dad even the slightest bit she's gonna get her hands on angelic steel and get to work, starting with cutting off that fuckass bob lmao

😭😭

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Alastor at Lucifer: You’re my new rival now. *Rips up a picture of Vox*

Vox at the Vee Tower, clutching his chest like he just died.

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Angel knows he’s cheating but is totally going with it

RadioDust Week 2024 Prompt 3: Camp

he's cheating wtf

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #radiodust #angel dust #alastor #hazbin alastor #the radio demon #hazbin angel dust #dreadfluent

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guys. going insane.

in these scenes, his hair gets way spikier than normal, they look like knives for gods sake. this only happens when he wants to seem THREATENING

but when around people he trusts like ROSIE his hair (probably unintentionally) gets ROUNDER and SOFTER, even his coat has less spikes than usual.

GUYS HE HAS A LITERAL SOFT SIDE IM GOING INSANE

#I think I’ve reblogged before #but is it because when he’s mad his gets staticky? #I think that’s a new head canon for me

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consider:

Angel is actually very jealous and posessive because hey guess what Alastor is super hot. Alastor has never noticed anyone looking at him other than in fear. Angel however does see it.

Angel: Are you aware of how many men and women have looked at you like they want you to dick them down?

Alastor: None?

Angel: 247 just since we left the hotel.

Alastor: Is that a lot?

Angel: Is that... Smiles... that's half this block!

Alastor: *shrugs* I hadn't noticed. I was too busy looking into your eyes.

Angel: Awww

*someone side eyes Alastor*

Angel: *pulling out his Tommyguns* Put the eyes back in your head or yer gonna loose em.

Alastor: I like this side of you.

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Young’s Overlords AU

Even in the most dangerous fight, I will be there.