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new post :)

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substack

letterboxd

my chapbook

fragrantica

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Sneaking into the church after midnight for personal services; outfits for my chapbook

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Wine comes in at the mouth And love comes in at the eye; That’s all we shall know for truth Before we grow old and die. I lift the glass to my mouth, I look at you, and I sigh.

W.B. Yeats 

moodboard for my chapbook 

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ALL NIGHT VIGIL 

A chapbook of 16 poems written for all the devoted sinners. The chapbook contains three illustrations by Ana Velazquez. 

(the poster is designed with influences drawn from early perfume advertisements)

get it here if you’re interested!

read excerpts here & here 

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That star is so far away, that by the time the light from it reaches us here on earth, it might not even be up there anymore.

 – The Misfits (1961) dir. John Huston

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take care won't be here for a while,

pray for me I'm praying for you

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take care won't be here for a while,

pray for me I'm praying for you

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Justin de Villeneuve - Twiggy Wearing a Dress by John Bates for Jean Varon (Vogue UK 1969)

#fashion #editorial

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15 year old me would be so annoyed with 21 year old me for being like I have a lifelong mental illness but I’m essentially symptom free right now and that’s partially because of my medication, but things like regular exercise, keeping a routine, trying to get enough sleep, and changing my attitude really do help keep me stable. but that’s not “do yoga” advice, that’s getting a different perspective as you grow up and I really wish I didn’t dismiss stuff like that as wellness blogger self help book bullshit back then

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quotes that help me survive:

“You are not lost. You are here. Stop abandoning yourself. Stop repeating this myth about love and success that will land in your lap or evade you forever. Build a humble, flawed life from the rubble, and cherish that. There is nothing more glorious on the face of the earth than someone who refuses to give up, who refuses to give in to their most self-hating, discouraged, disillusioned self, and instead learns, slowly and painfully, how to relish the feeling of building a hut in middle of the suffocating dust.” — Heather Havrilesky, Ask Polly

this tumblr text post:

“To live in this world you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go.” — Mary Oliver

From an interview with Kazu Makino:

Instructions On Not Giving Up, Ada Limon:

And this poster by Yumi Sakugawa

“You have to believe, in your heart, that even if you don’t work hard and exercise and think positive thoughts and make new friends and march triumphantly into the future, you are still enough. You will always have bad days. Being broken doesn’t make you a loser. You can crumble, and you will still be enough. Make that your religion moving forward. You are here to feel this moment. You are not here to become someone better. You are not here to impress or compete. You are not here to prove yourself. You are here to savor this life. Let down your guard. You are already enough. Believe it.” — Heather Havrilesky

“The first feminist gesture is to say: “Ok. They’re looking at me. But I’m looking at them.” The act of deciding to look, of deciding that the world is not defined by how people see me, but by how I see them.” -Agnès Varda

lyrics from the song Grow by The Oh Hellos:

“The world’s otherness is antidote to confusion, that standing within this otherness—the beauty and the mystery of the world, out in the fields or deep inside books—can re-dignify the worst-stung heart.” — Mary Oliver

“I hope you will go out and let stories, that is life, happen to you,and that you will work with these stories from your life--not someone else's life--water them with your blood and tears and your laughter till they bloom, till you yourself burst into bloom. That is the work. The only work.” — Clarissa Pinkola Estes

#lit

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⚜ 𝔔𝔲𝔬𝔱𝔢 𝔊𝔞𝔯𝔡𝔢𝔫: 𝔒𝔯𝔠𝔥𝔦𝔡𝔰 ⚜

✥ “Orchid - breathing incense into butterfly’s wings.” — Matsuo Bashō, from "On Love And Barley: Haiku Of Bashō"

✥ “Black as the sweetness / of black orchid milk.” — Grace Nichols, from The Fat Black Woman’s Poems; “The Fat Black Woman Composes a Black Poem,”

✥ “Sadness & hysteria made my heart expand into an immense sick flower, grotesque blossom, huge red orchid,” — Alice Notley, from The Descent of Alette.

✥ “Evening orchid— the white of its flower hidden in its scent.” — Buson, from Haiku: An Anthology of Japanese Poems

✥ “I bathe in orchid water, wash my hair with scents,” — Song Yu, tr. by Burton Watson, from “The Lord Among The Clouds,”

✥ “Don’t compare her to sunshine and roses when she’s clearly orchids and moonlight.” — Melody Lee, from ‘Moon Gypsy’’

✥ “I was left alone there in the company of orchids, roses and violets, which, like people who are kept waiting in a room beside you but do not know you, preserved a silence which their individuality as living things made all the more impressive…” — Marcel Proust, "À l’ombre des jeunes filles en fleurs", trans. Moncrieff and Kilmartin 

✥ “I am more frail than the orchid petals.” — Li Qingzhao, tr. by Kenneth Rexroth, from “Light Mist, then Dense Fog,”

✥ “There was the smell of charred wood. There was the smell of dusty velvet. There was the smell of rotting orchids. There was the smell of sour milk.” — Harlan Elison, “I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream”

#lit #flowers

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#art

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hot girl summer! [crawls into the wound on christ’s side]