Eid Mubarak to everyone it’s a late post but I hope everyone enjoyed it. I know not everyone felt like celebrating because of what’s happening to our Muslim brothers and sisters in Palestine but to celebrate Eid is an act of worship itself. 💙🤍
To judge someone and to remind someone is completely two different things. We have no right to judge anyone when we ourselves are filled with flaws. But to remind someone is not judging them, yet simply reminding them of what Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى expects from us as Muslims.
It is mentioned in the Glorious Quran that a reminder is good for a believer. وَذَكِّرۡ فَإِنَّ ٱلذِّكۡرَىٰ تَنفَعُ ٱلۡمُؤۡمِنِینَ. “And remind, for indeed, the reminder benefits the believers”. Adh-Dhariyat, Ayah 55.
But there is a way of reminding someone with good words. Speak in such a manner that is not harsh and rude. A reminder is somewhat of a form or Da’wah, a given task to all Muslims.
Today I came across a conversations with someone in class, keep in mind that we all are females. My one friend’s perfume was really strong and I advised her not to wear such strong perfume because if a non-mahram (a male that you’re allowed to marry) gets a sniff of your perfume it is as if you are an adulterous. She explained that after school she goes straight home and I explained to her that, yes you go home but does your brothers friends not pick you up at school sometimes ? Sometimes do you not go to the shops after classes? Not only for school but also for when not in school. Then the conversation escalated to do you have another black jacket for me? Why don’t you wash my jacket out for me. My point was if she puts on perfume and goes out, and is most likely that she will pass by a group in which there will be men (such as in public places) who will smell her perfume and fragrance, this is also haraam, even if she does not intend to tempt men and that is not her aim, because this action is a fitnah (temptation) in and of itself. There is also an indication in sharee’ah that it is haraam and not allowed.
I Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The perfume of men is that which scent is apparent and color is hidden. The perfume of women is that which scent is hidden and color is apparent.” Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2787
And then the conversation lead to threading her eyebrows for Eid (shaping them), Wallahi this is something I myself struggled with trying not to do it anymore. So far I have not touched my eyebrows for months. I simply stated that “It is haraam, Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَلَى and his prophet Muhammad ﷺ curses the person who plucks the eyebrows and the person who gets it done .” I feel that being a niqaabi you should set and example of yourself to others displaying the religion in a beautiful manner. Whether she decides to follow through with threading of her eyebrows has nothing to do with me because I’ve already done my part.
Then another girl said “you shouldn’t remind her in public you should do it in private”. Why should I have reminded her in private we all females here somethings need to be said in-front of everyone while others in private. I’m well aware of which situation should be addressed. I said what I said so that the next person who heard will take the advice as well. It was things that was meant to be said out aloud. It was things that was important and crucial to know so that you don’t fall unnecessarily into sin.
Like I said a reminder is good for a believer, but most people feel attacked rather than taking the advice and normally states “worry about yourself first” that is the person who Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَلَى curses. And this especially happens with the people who are ignorant about their religion. This is why it is so important to learn about the deen to safe guard yourself from any unnecessary sins. I myself am not perfect but strive to reach a certain level of connection with my Rabb which is not always easy because of the fitnah’s of shaytaan.
When I give advice it goes first for myself and then the person who it is given to. I don’t tend to preach and not practice.
A reminder is like when a person walks down a road and there is a ditch you tell them and remind them so that they don’t fall into that ditch same way when a Muslim sins we remind them so that they don’t fall into the pits of the fire. And the end of the day we all have one goal to reach and that’s to please Allah and to enter paradise.
May Allah make us of those who are righteous that will carry the Quran as companions through this life and beyond to the grave. May He open up our hearts to his deen and remove the love for dunya and increase the love for akhirah Ameen ya rabbul al-Ameen.
You wish to marry a man or woman even though you know they neglect their Salaah. How can you think of such a thing, where they’re are capable of turning their backs towards Allah what makes you think they won’t do the same to you. Subhanallah!
We talk a lot about consent, and that’s a good thing. We talk a lot about autonomy, and that’s a good thing. We talk a lot about privacy, and that’s a good thing.
But we talk mostly about all of that in respect to sex, and relationships, and it’s important to remember this applies to other things, too.
If someone says, “don’t tell anyone I got this new job,” and you then tell people, you’ve violated their consent, their privacy, and their autonomy.
If a friend says, “I don’t like it when people touch my hair,” and you keep touching their hair, you have violated their consent, their autonomy, and their privacy.
If a coworker asks you not to tease them about their new boyfriend, even if it seems like gentle and friendly fun to you, and you do it, you’ve violated their consent, their autonomy, and their privacy.
People remember these things, and they hurt. Not as much as sexual assault, obviously. But those small violations of your wishes, those instances of disrespect, still hurt, and they can add up.
Consent doesn’t just apply to sex. Respect the wishes of others.
As I lie awake at night. They come rushing in. Things I’ve regretted not doing and then things I’ve regretted doing. The complexities of life that holds me capitative. The anxiety that rises and causes my breathing to become complicated to the point where I forget how it is to inhale and exhale. It’s like under water, stranded in the middle of the ocean. Trying to come up to catch breathes but with each fighting breath your chest tightens. That’s what the pressure of calamity feels like. Trying to survive it but eventually you give up. “I give up” you hopelessly chant to yourself. Forgetting that struggling and fighting against it only worsens it. Eventually you decide to let go, stopped fighting and just float until land is found. I let go of everything. The will to fight when not able to. But to go with the flow yet still handle the situation. Because this is life a beautiful mess of complexities and calamities. It’s not that simple to understand because if it were there would be people who would still be around. I’ve gone through them all. I’ve unlocked levels in life that I’m not supposed to just yet. I’ve passed on my sob stories here and there but never received any satisfaction only to end up feeling empty. It’s giving apart of myself away and feeling vulnerable yet to return to strangers. This is about me finding myself alone in this world because even though sometimes people say they’re there for you, you do not want to burden them with your life problems when they’re dealing with their own. It’s about making decisions and becoming an emotionally strong person for me. It’s about when I was at my lowest I chose to stand up tall and acknowledge that I’ll always be hit with things that are inevitable and how I deal with it as a person will only make me better as a person and that’s the beauty of life, struggling yet still conquering.