darrenthehappyhedgehog

[darrenthehappyhedgehog]

I love you ciabatta, I love you injera, I love you tortillas, I love you naan, I love you bagels, I love you pita, I love you fried dough, I love you scallion pancakes, I love you rice balls, I love you zucchini bread,  I love you cinnamon buns, I love you pumpernickel & rye & sourdough, I love you biscuits, I love you english muffins, I love you french toast, I love you papad, I love you noodles, I love you dough

[darrenthehappyhedgehog]

Sometimes I hyperfocus so hard on something, I forget I’m a person until someone interacts with me. I feel like some wild animal seeing a human being for the first time. I’m like “oh yeah I’m supposed to speak and stuff”

[darrenthehappyhedgehog]

LGBTQ acronyms are so complicated these days. what the fck is WWDITS

[darrenthehappyhedgehog]

Some of you use punk as an excuse to be a dick, and it shows

[darrenthehappyhedgehog]

>go to Draculas castle

>he has a humidifier

>pour two liter of holy water into it

>leave

[darrenthehappyhedgehog]

fuckin queer

Your short and sweet, I know you will hate this because of what I just said but its ok you love me lolol. I love how you glisten when you smile, or when you hug me tight after we haven’t seen each other in a while. The warmth you’ve given me has been the same since even before we got together, just hanging out as friends you would come jump me with hugs when i saw you at the mall or randomly at Walmart or Homedepot with your dad. Even though I’ve known you so long our differences aside we never fight vicious, just sweet and tender like a married couple fighting over how their bed is placed in their room they now share. I never have thought that you were weird or bad, or anything really negative to begin with besides some decisions you’ve made lol. I think my mind is void of thought due to the simplicity of my heart, I don’t need clarity I just need you, your warmth and your smile, I miss you everyday and wish I could express it as openly as you, so here I will show my love in this letter to be seen only by you or whomever comes across it.     Wish you were here we will soon grow out of our shackles to live our dreams….Together.                  love you xoxoxox

[darrenthehappyhedgehog]

Bridesmaid to a waiter: What a beautiful wedding

Waiter, about to reveal that the poor groom’s bride is a whore: Oh you haven’t heard?

[darrenthehappyhedgehog]

oh and im depressed so,

sleep

[darrenthehappyhedgehog]

@ me for the past 3 weeks

[darrenthehappyhedgehog]

Me from trying to keep the conversation from dying

[darrenthehappyhedgehog]

christmas eve what about christmas adam

[darrenthehappyhedgehog]

Emergency cleaning: Unfuck your whole house in the shortest time possible

So, your landlord/parents/home inspector/favorite movie star is dropping by, and your place is a disaster. You don’t have much time to clean it up. You’re in emergency mode. Let’s get started.

Don’t panic. Panic leads to fear, fear leads to procrastination, procrastination leads to the dark side. You can do this, but you have to stay calm.

Unlike maintenance cleaning, we’re not looking to completely unfuck one space at a time. Instead, we want to decrease the overall mess in stages, spread evenly across the whole area that we’re concerned about. If you think your home is at Level 10 filth, we want to bring the whole thing down to a Level 9, and then down from there. One really clean spot in an otherwise messy home is not going to be helpful here.

Get prepared. You’ll want to shut the computer down (or turn the modem off if you need your computer to play music). Trust me. Get your music going. Gather up trash bags, your vacuum and mop, some rags or paper towel, sponges, and other cleaning supplies. Use what you have on hand. Don’t get distracted running to the store and spending an hour browsing cleaning supplies. A multi-purpose cleaning concentrate or a jug of vinegar will be just fine.

Breaks are very important. Depending on your time constraints, work in 20/10s (20 minutes working, 10-minute break) or 45/15s. But take breaks because otherwise you’re marathoning, and marathon cleaning is no one’s friend. Keep hydrated, don’t forget to eat, and check in with yourself frequently to make sure you’re physically doing OK.

Make your bed. This will be your home base if you get overwhelmed or need somewhere clear to take a break.

Start with the garbage. Going from room to room, throw out anything that is obvious trash. Once you fill a bag, take it out. Repeat as many times as necessary.

Move on to dishes. Gather the dishes from all over your house and bring them to the kitchen. If you can, start them soaking in a sink of hot, soapy water or start loading the dishwasher. After the dishes are all in one place, spend one 20/10 getting started getting them under control.

Now it’s time for your flat surfaces. Countertops, tables, dresser tops, etc. Clear them off and wipe them down. Don’t get distracted in too much sorting and organizing. We’re in crisis mode here. There will be time to get in-depth once this is all done. The same applies to cabinets and closets. Unless you have reason to believe people will be opening closed doors, leave these alone for now.

Attack the floordrobe and shoe pile. Get your clothes either put away or in the hamper. Start a load of laundry if you need to, but keep in mind that laundry and dishes have three steps: wash, dry, and put it away, goddammit!

Get random stuff up off the floors. If something is trash-worthy, throw it away now rather than just move it around a bunch of times. Otherwise, put stuff where it belongs.

Take another 20/10 or 45/15 to catch up on more dishes, if needed.

Head into the bathroom. Pour some cleaner in the toilet bowl, fill the sink with hot water and cleaner, and either spray the tub and shower with cleaner, or fill the tub up with some hot water and add cleaner and let it soak. Put everything away that’s out and shouldn’t be, clean the mirror, counters, and toilet seat. Sweep or dry mop the floor. Wipe down the sink and tub/shower, and give the toilet bowl a scrub. Mop the floor.

Sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Vacuum everything you can, and sweep everything you can’t.

Walk outside of your house (don’t lock yourself out, please). Walk back in and see what catches your eye first. Go and deal with that.

If you’re being inspected or your landlord is coming in for repairs, spend time on whatever area they’ll be focusing on.

Give the whole place one more once-over and pay attention to anything you’ve missed so far.

It’s an old trick, but if your place is a little funky-smelling, put a pan of water on the stove on low heat and add some citrus or cinnamon or vanilla. Don’t leave it unattended or forget about it.

Take a shower, put on something clean, and eat something.

You can do this. It’s overwhelming, yes, but it is not impossible. You just need to do it. You have a list. You have directions. You have a whole bunch of Internet strangers who have been there before and who are cheering you on. You can do this, but you need to get started.

Why are you still here? GO. START. NOW.

[darrenthehappyhedgehog]

i genuinely did not remember how fucked up the plot of robots (2005) was like. rich robot capitalists stop manufacturing certain parts to cause poor robots to become obsolete so they can be melted down and their metal remains used to create more high end products in the name of profit like wow thats genuinely horrifying for a movie whos target audience was mainly 8 year olds

[darrenthehappyhedgehog]

[darrenthehappyhedgehog]

if you're trans / nonbinary / cisn't in some way rb this and put the first name you started going by when you figured it out

#darren

[darrenthehappyhedgehog]

And in the darkness bind them

[darrenthehappyhedgehog]

I shit you not, since June of 2021 I've put your It Came From Tumblr, The Movie playlist on every night to go to bed, so much so that I can't casually listen to your videos in the middle of the day because I've accidently conditioned myself to the point I'll get extremely tired.

Me when someone eventually stops using my 15 hour LNT binge video to fall asleep: