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dazed--xx · 1 month

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Well first. I appreciate someone actually doing an in depth look into one of my fics but second though Changbin and the reader were flirting in her room which they always kinda did, it was also right after she was supposed to go on a date with another guy. Remember Y/N chose to not say anything about her feelings for Changbin she was comfortable being just his best friend, but at the party when he introduced Ae-ra (a fuck buddy) to her she realizes ‘oh shit I'm not okay with this’ and instead of communicating with her BEST friend about it she ghosted him and just kinda replaced him for that week with Yeonjun. Then when Changbin confronts her about ghosting him and says it's because she likes him, it upsets him because not only does he also have feelings for her but instead of being mature and communicating with him about it, she ran away and tried to avoid the problem and Changbin like they didn't exist. Changbin is hurt because the one person that was always there and they supported each other equally just abandoned him without a second thought. He wasn't being serious about her coming to see him in a week, he wants her to reflect about how he was feeling considering her actions. Everything could have been solved by communicating but Y/N just didn't want to cause she didn't want to be embarrassed not for any other reason than her pride she avoided Changbin

🌅Someone You Loved🌅

Summary: Now the day bleeds, Into nightfall; And you're not here, To get me through it all. I let my guard down; And then you pulled the rug…..I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Member: Changbin x Reader

T/W: Friend Break Up(cause romantic break ups ain't the only type that is heartbreaking), arguments, crying, heartbreak, ANGST…, swearing, yelling, sad ending, ghosting, problem avoidance, flirty behavior, mentions of one night stand, mentions of friend with benefits relationships, innuendos, brutal honesty

Word Count: 3.2K

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me. This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy. I need somebody to heal, Somebody to know, Somebody to have, Somebody to hold; It's easy to say, But it's never the same…..

“You sure you don't want me to just kick his ass?” Changing questions with a frustrated groan. You sat on your bed, shaking your head as you chuckled. “For canceling a date? Bin, that's pretty irrational….” Changing sucked his teeth as he caressed your cheek softly, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip “He canceled 10 minutes before he was supposed to pick you up. You're hotter than him and he basically stood you up. Why am I more upset about this than you are?” Changing questions in disbelief. You roll your eyes, your hand wrapping around his wrist pulling his hand from your cheek. Changing takes your hand in his, and you feel your heart race at his action.

As you look into your best friend's eyes you let out a heavy sigh “Cause I didn't expect too much from him in to begin with. We were only going on this stupid date because our parents set it up in the first place. I'm not worried about it.” Changing scoffs in response “Doesn't mean you weren't excited….” you smirk at him and wink “Is that jealousy I'm hearing?” you lean into his frame so your chests are almost touching. Changbin counters by brushing his nose over yours his hand wrapping around your waist as he pulls you into him. “You wish…” He states with a wink as he pulls away from you.

You try to fight the blush that creeps in your cheeks as you lean across your bed grabbing a throw pillow and tossing it at Changbin. “Not fair! You caught me off guard!” you whine as he catches the pillow just before it hits him in the face “Hey! Weapons is cheating! And it's not my fault you're an easy target…” Changbin smirks.

“You're an ass, why do I hang out with you?”

“Because you love me.” Changbin chides as he kisses your cheek softly. He pats your shoulder as he pulls on his jacket “But I gotta go so I'll see you later, brat. Since you were stood up go to Yaris party tonight. She won't shut up about it” You nod at his words giving him a side hug before he makes his way out of your room closing the door behind him.

As soon as you're alone you hold your cheek with a shy smile. Your face grows a bright shade of scarlet as you place your hand on your chest. Your heart races as that familiar giddy feeling fills you. Changbin had been your best friend for years now and in that time you’d grown to adore and enjoy every part of his flirtatious and kind personality. He'd always known how to make you feel special and understood; it was no surprise when you realized your feelings for him, two years ago. Not wanting to ruin your friendship you opted to crush on him silently and love him from afar. But recently, he's been way more…..excited? Forward? Interested? You weren't sure but what you did know, was he seemed brighter recently. He walked with his head held higher and his eyes shined brighter, and you felt selfish hoping you were the reason for that.

For so long, Changbin had been your rock, your support system, and your laughter; you hoped eventually things would progress into something more one day. You had been with him through relationships and hobbies, the changing of the seasons, and family events. You prayed that your involvement in his lift cemented your place in his heart. If things continued to go this well, hopefully you'd confess soon.

I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain. Now the day bleeds into nightfall, and you're not here to get me through it all. I let my guard down, and then you pulled the rug…….

The music blared through the speakers. A sea of sweaty bodies dancing and shoving each other as you danced with your friend, Yari. She gripped your hand as she pulled you away from the crowd and made her way toward the kitchen. You laugh enthusiastically as you shuffle around the sea of people making out or talking until you finally make it into the kitchen. Yari smiled brightly at two handsome guys, giving them bright smiles as she pulled them into tight hugs. One stood with an awkward smile as Yari kept her arms wrapped around his neck. His tall stature making her stand on her toes, the other guy chuckled as he shook his head. His plump lips wrapped around the rim of the red solo cup as he takes a sip of what you could only assume was beer. “Oh my god! You came!” Yari beams cheerfully. “Y/N this is Soobin…” she gestures to the guy she was currently clinging to then extends her left hand to the other guy “and that's Yeonjun” you smile at both the boys kindly.

Your interest is peaked when the one Yari introduced as Yeonjun blushes slightly as his plump lips curl into a charming smile. “Hey…” He greets his voice oozing confidence and charisma. Your cheeks heat up “H-hey…” you stammer shyly. You reach over to the fridge pulling out a bottle of beer. Your irritation grows when you feel someone shove into you from behind; a soft feminine voice calls from behind you “Binnie, be careful…” I turn around with confusion etched onto my features as I'm greeted by the sight of my best friend. I laugh in realization “You know I almost killed you right?” you joke. Changbin scoffs as he crosses his arms over his chest “You'd have to catch me first”

“Is that a challenge?”

“For someone that spends negative twenty minutes exercising all her life?” He prods his eyebrow raised when the same petite voice calls from beside Changbin. Only then did you notice the pixie-like girl who stood beside your best friend. She stood at what looked like a firm 5 foot 3, with a curvy build. Her cheeks were full and prominent. Her brown hair laid beautifully straight down her back. Her most distinguishable feature was the clear Heterochromia she had. Her left eye sat with a chocolate brown color but her right eye was a vibrant sapphire blue. She looked almost like something out of a video game. “You must be Y/N, Binnie talks about you all the time” She giggles as she extends her hand toward you cheerfully “I'm Im Ae-Ra” She introduces, you stare at her hand dumbfounded for a moment before taking hold of it and greeting her “Y-Yeah…I'm Y/N” you laugh awkwardly. “It's nice to meet you, though a little heads up would have been nice…” you grit as you glare at Changbin who mouths an apology. Ae-ra smiles brightly as she wraps her arm around Changbin’s waist. You stare at her in confusion.

Who was she?

Why is she all over Changbin?

Why is she calling him Binnie?

Your heart sinks as Changbin wraps his arm around her waist pulling her close as he kisses her cheek “So, Babe, this is my best friend, and Y/N this is my girl” Changbin introduces haphazardly as he grabs two beers out of the fridge behind you. You shuffle so that you're leaning on the counter; feeling jealousy bubble in your gut as you notice the hint of scarlet decorating Ae-ra’s cheeks.

His girl? What type of fuckboy—you think to yourself—when the hell?

You can't help the confused scowl on your expression as Changbin hands Ae-ra a beer; whispering something in her ear which makes her giggle. You felt your blood boil as the pair continued to flirt in front of you. Your attention is pulled away from the pair when you feel someone's arm resting on your back as their hand sits on the counter behind you. You look to the right following the arm only to come face-to-face with Yeonjun. Your eyes widen slightly as you notice his proximity. A blush forms in your cheeks as you take in his devilishly handsome looks. “Sorry, my phone is next to you..” He smirks, his voice is sultry as he leans in a little closer and your heart pounds in your chest. He gives you a flirty smile as he removes his hand from behind your back, revealing his phone now in his grasp “Yeonjun…” He introduces again “In case you didn't catch my name…” he explains with a seductive smirk.

“Y-Y/N…” you stammer.

“I know…” Your heart almost races out of your chest as he takes his thick bottom lip in between his teeth. “Yari’s friend, she disappeared with my friend Soobin shortly after introducing us” He states. You couldn't put your finger on it but something about the tone of his voice has you completely entranced. The pain you had felt previously slowly subsided as you continued to talk with Yeonjun. You couldn't feel how time moved as you and Yeonjun made your way toward the backyard through the sliding door in the kitchen. Your heart beat against your ribcage like a drum when you felt Yeonjun’s large hand encase your waist as a crowd shoves their way inside. Your hand rests on Yeonjun’s chest as he holds you against his tall slender frame. His blue hair cascading over his face as he glared at the crowd. Your mind filled with lustful sin filled thoughts as you stared up at him.

You sit on the patio bench beside Yeonjun, his left arm laying on the back of the couch around you as you two continue to talk about everything under the sun. You quickly established a connection with Yeonjun as you two laughed about the most recent drama you had both watched. Suddenly you heard the sound of the sliding glass door open and Changbin comes barreling out with Ae-ra’s hand firmly grasped in his. “There you are, brat.” Changbin cheers as he makes his way over to you “you ready to go? I can give you a ride I'm about to head out..” you stare at Changbin bewildered as you struggle to find words. “Aww, you're leaving?” Yeonjun whines with a pout. “I won't have a ride otherwise” you give him a sad smile. “I can bring you home” Yeonjun suggests as he lifts his left hand from behind you using it to play with your hair as he tilts his head flirtatiously. You bite your lip as you contemplate his offer.

“Y/N? You coming?” Changbin asks. “You can go ahead Ill make sure she gets home safe” Yeonjun states kindly to Changbin trying to wave him off. You nod enthusiastically “yeah Junnie will bring me home so you can go ahead.”

“Y/N, you've been drinking i don't think that's a good idea” Changbin argues as he glares at you and Yeonjun. “Bin, I had one drink way over an hour ago I'll be fine” you protest. Changbin’s face contorts to an expression you don't recognize as he goes to speak “But—Babe, she said she'll be fine. Let her have some fun, you said she's always cooped up at home” Ae-ra cuts Changbin’s protests off. You smile at Yeonjun as Changbin stammers to Ae-ra, Yeonjun takes your hand “Wanna get out of here?” you nod allowing him to lead you out of the party.

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to. This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you. Now, I need somebody to know, Somebody to heal, Somebody to have, Just to know how it feels. It's easy to say but it's never the same; I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape….

It had been one week since the party.

The morning after you had woken up in Yeonjun’s bed, feeling utterly embarrassed you tried to escape unnoticed. But thanks to your graceful nature you stumble while you were putting your pants on, waking the sleeping boy in the process. “Running away from potential problems is like your superpower. You know that?” Yeonjun jokes behind tired eyes recalling one of your previous conversations you had about your feelings for Changbin. If only he knew how right he truly was…. You thought to yourself as you took a sip of your coffee. You had cut off all contact with Changbin after the night of the party. You weren't exactly sure how to handle the news, especially when you had walked out of your door that Sunday and found the pair making out on Changbin’s porch. Your heart ached with pain and jealousy. How you longed to know that feeling…..to experience that kiss. The taste of those lips.

How could he?

How could he play with your heart like that?

How could he do that to you? So suddenly?

No matter how long you thought about it; it just didn't make sense to you. Hours before the party Changbin was in your room, flirting with you like he always did then, all of a sudden, he has a girlfriend? How could you have been so stupid?

A quick succession of snaps in front of your eyes pull you out of your thoughts. “Earth to Y/N?” Yeonjun pouts “I understand that you don't actually like me…but this was supposed to be a date.” His voice is filled with whines as he lays his head on your shoulder. You roll your eyes at him “We're in the school cafeteria. If that's your idea of a date then I can see why your crush doesn't notice you” you jest as you take a bite of your pizza. Yeonjun shakes his head with an amused smile “rather have her not notice me than have her dangle some boyfriend she doesn't care about in front of me” You stick your tongue out at him “Swallow your food before you act like a child” Yeonjun scolds. You swallow the food in your mouth as you roll your eyes “yes dad”

“Anyway, so what are you saying? I'm good as a Changbin placeholder in your bed but not your heart?” Yeonjun raises his eyebrow as he grips your thigh possessively. You grasp his wrist halting his movements and placing his hand back on the table. “Behave…” You warn “And you're my friend not some placeholder for Changbin. You like someone else too don't make me feel guilty about it” Yeonjun rolls his eyes as he crosses his arms over his chest “I was joking, god. You're always so serious.” He whines as the bell rings “Want me to walk you?” he asks, you decline as you gather your stuff waving him off.

You slowly trudge your way to class when you see Changbin barreling over to you. Your heart races as he gets closer and closer making your chances for escape almost zero to none. You bite the inside of your cheek as he stands in front of you. “Where the hell were you this week?” He growls, you look away from him feeling embarrassment grow in your stomach. “I was busy, sorry” you apologize half-heartedly. Changbin’s jaw clenches at your nonchalance. “Busy?! Too busy to respond to my texts?! It takes two minutes max!” He scolds. You feel yourself growing angry at his words “Yeah, I was busy. I'll text you next time, I wanted a break” You lie. Changbin’s eyebrows raise “A break? Do you think I'm stupid? You've posted literally every day! Is it because you're dating Choi Yeonjun now? Does he not want you to talk to me?”

“I'm not dating Yeonjun. There honestly doesn't need to be a reason for me to want a break, Changbin.”

“I'm your best friend! What do you mean there doesn't have to be a reason? We've spent literally every single day together since we were in kindergarten; and now all of a sudden, you just ghosted me…for a week! And you have the nerve to say you don't need a fucking reason?!” Changbin fumes. Guilt fills your stomach.

And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes; I fall into your arms. I'll be safe in your sound 'til I come back around. For now, the day bleeds into nightfall and you're not here to get me through it all. I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug….

You stared at him with a pitiful pout. “Bin, I'm sorry. You're right; I should explain…” you apologize. He stares you down, his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes narrowed into slits as he waits for you to explain. You sigh as you stare up at him hopefully “I-I…When…Well…” you stammer, struggling to find the words. Changbin’s anger grows more and more evident as the seconds tick on. You struggled to find an explanation that doesn't put your feelings out there. “Well?” Changbin growls “I'm getting more and more pissed the longer you just stare at me with that stupid look on your face.” You look at the ground as you bite your lip “I've been avoiding you…b-because I like you, but you have Ae-ra so, I wanted to take some time to process that…” you explain breathlessly.

Changbin sat silently for a moment, his cheeks were blushed but his disapproving scowl remained. “If you would have fucking talked to me, you'd know that me and Ae-ra are nothing serious” Your eyes light up as he continues “You'd also know that I have feelings for you” Your heart pounds in your chest as butterflies fill your stomach as he speaks “But I won't do shit about it” He comments harshly. A look of horror fills your expression “Bin—No, Y/N.” he cuts you off, his tone full of a firm determination “Instead of fucking growing up and communicating with me; you avoided me and did whatever with Yeonjun. Which is so fucking petty and childish that I want nothing to do with you” You froze, you weren't prepared for him to say that.

He had never said anything like that to you before, you weren't sure how to respond. You felt tears well up in your eyes “Bin, you can't be serious…” your voice cracks as you step toward him. He takes a step back “But I am, you're ridiculously childish and I'm so tired of dealing with it. You say you like me, if you liked me then you wouldn't have just disappeared on me like that. You would have talked to me.”

“I'm sorry, you're not being fair right now” you cry.

“Were you being fair when you just abandoned me? I don't fucking care about being fair! Tell me how you feel toward me in a week and see if I'm being fucking fair or not!” He sneers as he walks away from you in frustration. You're left to stand there stunned. You laugh at the irony as tears stream down your cheeks.

I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug………I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.

⏪|⏸️|⏩

Taglist: @yangbbokari @havenwithleeknow

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dazed--xx · 1 month

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Ugh 😭😭 I can't believe I actually finished series 😂 it's insane I hope y'all liked the playlist

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dazed--xx · 1 month

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🎮Arcade🎮

Summary: I've spent all of the love I saved. We were always a losing game, Small town Girl(boy) in a big arcade, I got addicted to a losing game. Oh,Oh.All I know, all I know……Loving you is a losing game

Member: Felix x Reader

T/W: Break Ups, arguments crying, heartbreak, ANGST…, swearing, yelling, sad ending, Bet Au!, depressing thoughts, lack of communication, childish behavior, Avoiding S/O, mentions of sex, bullying, denial

Word Count: 2.1K

A broken heart is all that's left. I'm still fixing all the cracks. Lost a couple of pieces when I carried it, carried it, carried it home….I'm afraid of all I am; My mind feels like a foreign land. Silence ringing inside my head; Please, carry me, carry me, carry me home

The smell of coffee filled the air as you sat quietly in the cafe, waiting for your boyfriend with his friends. You listened as they teased each other back and forth as you pulled out your phone sending a quick text to Felix.

Hey, when are you getting here?

You place your phone on the table as a redheaded girl, whom you believe was your boyfriend’s friend Changbin’s girlfriend. Your eyes widen as she begins to take selfies on your phone as she speaks “You're so quiet, Do you talk at all?” She asks as you reach for your phone. “Y-yeah…can I have my phone back?” you ask nervously, the girl ignores you as you look at her in disbelief. “So…” She trails giving the brunette girl beside her a mischievous smirk “You and Felix have been dating for a while right?”

You nod, “Yeah? Almost a year.” your voice is shy and hesitant. Why is she asking? You thought to yourself. “Is he, you know…..as good as the rumors say?” the brunette girl asks with a glint in her eye you couldn't place. You furrow your eyebrows in confusion “What do you mean??” you ask innocently. The redhead snorts as she looks away from you covering her mouth as the brunette smacks her friend's arm playfully. “Is he like, good in bed?” The brunette asks suggestively, being sure to keep her voice lowered. You shake your head panickedly. “We-Weve never—I never—Im a…” you stammer nervously.

The two girls look at each other and begin to laugh hysterically; clutching each other's hands they continue to laugh and laugh. An overwhelming sense of embarrassment fills your gut. Why are they laughing? Was it embarrassing to still be a virgin at your age? “Felix is so losing this, I don't know why he was so confident” The redhead snickers to her friend. Losing? “Losing what?” you ask innocently. The girls' laughing stops, their eyebrows scrunch together in confusion. “What do you mean?” She asks with a confused pout. You look at her bewildered. “What do you mean? What is Felix going to lose?”

“The bet of course?” The redhead states matter-of-factly. You laugh awkwardly as you scratch the nape of your neck. “What are you talking about? What bet?” your voice is just above a whisper as the brunette girl sighs “Felix made a bet with the guys that he could get you to go out with him and give him your virginity within a year” There was a hint of amusement in her tons as she spoke. You felt your heart shatter in your chest as you felt tears build in your eyes.

“T-That's not funny…”

“Who said I was joking?” The brunette responds harshly “Be in denial about it all you want but, once your delusion clears up you'll actually notice all the signs. Why else would Felix talk to someone like you? Let alone date them?” She crosses her arms over her chest “Don't feel bad about it, just make him lose the bet at one year then he'll dump you and you'll never have to talk to him again….and you can say you dated someone WAY out of your league so,” the redhead chimes coldly. You sat frozen in your seat for a moment as the redhead handed you back your phone. The two girls give you mischievous smirks as you lift yourself from your seat. You feel your phone buzz with a message from Felix.

So clingy😒…Ill be there soon

Your heart sinks into your stomach; not wanting to see him any longer you walk out of the cafe with your phone in one hand and bag in the other. Your mind raced as you rushed out of the door. Everything you thought you had known about your relationship was a lie.

I've spent all of the love I've saved, We were always a losing game. Small-town girl (boy) in a big arcade I got addicted to a losing game……

It had been three weeks since that painful day in the cafe. Your heart had yet to recover. Felix had reached out a few times, completely and utterly confused by your grand disappearing act. The night you had learned the truth about your relationship with Felix. Puzzle pieces began to come together. You had never understood why Felix had treated you so differently than he did with his friends. While you were falling in love with Felix, he was counting down the days until his little game was over. You felt disgusting and nauseous knowing that not only were you used as a pawn in some sexist game but you weren't even seen as a person with feelings when it came to those who made the bet. The longer Felix pretended to love you the more anger boiled in your gut.

You had fled back home to Gimhae; deciding to take a few weeks to yourself to figure things out. As the time ticked on you felt more and more irritated as you found yourself doing exactly what the two girls who so rudely exposed the truth wanted. Your leg shook in frustration as you felt yourself growing more and more angry.

Angry at those two girls….

Angry at Felix…..

Angry at yourself….

How could you not be? It was obvious like the girls said. Every time you held his hand, he'd allow his to sit loosely in yours. His kisses were always hesitant and seemed forced. His smile never fully reached his eyes when you were alone.

How could you have been so stupid?

Felix stared at his phone with furrowed eyebrows as his friends Jisung and Minho played video games. His leg was shaking as he hoped to see the messages he'd sent you go from delivered to seen. He was so confused when he walked into the cafe 3 weeks ago and you were nowhere to be seen. He'd asked Changbin’s and Hyunjin’s girlfriends of your whereabouts but they shrugged him off explaining you said something came up and then left. He hasn't heard from you since. He knew you were still physically okay from your posts on social media but, he hadn't heard your voice or seen you for weeks.

Felix felt drained, wishing you'd breathe life into him as you once did. He didn't know what caused you to suddenly go AWOL but for some reason, he felt anxious. Why weren't you responding to him? Felix nibbled on his bottom lip in frustration as he lifted himself from the couch, walking into his bedroom he pressed the call button on the top right of the chat. His heart races as he hears the call trying to connect.

One ring… Felix paces around his room nervously as two, three, and four rings go by. He groans as he ends the call losing hope of you answering.

Why weren't you talking to him?

Do you love me, or love me not? Peeling pieces from my heart And my rose-colored lens is gone Still I carry, I carry, I carry on

When you chose to return home you found yourself feeling lighter. While you've chosen to accept the truth, you also chose not to contact Felix right away. You had spent a little over a month in Gimhae, missing major lessons in your chosen field of study. Opting to prioritize catching up academically; once you arrived back in Seoul you quickly dropped off your bags and made your way to SNU for your 10 am lecture. What you hadn't anticipated was Felix showing up to his lecture for the first time in a while.

You quickly tried to avoid his gaze as you passed him on the quad. Your heart raced as you power-walked toward your building entrance. You were no more than two long strides from freedom when you felt a hand wrap around your wrist. “Y/N…” that familiar deep voice called “Where have you been?” Felix asked confusion lacing his tone. You pull your arm from his grip “I went to see my parents” you state offhandedly looking away from him. “You randomly disappeared for a month, because you wanted to see your parents? Without saying anything to me about it or contacting me during that whole time?” He grits trying to contain his anger.

“Yeah, so?”

Felix scoffs “So?! You're fucking kidding me right?” his eyebrows are scrunched together as he contorts his face into a scowl. His arms cross over his chest; you give him a bored expression. “No? I don't really see the problem” you run your fingers through your hair as you shift on your feet. “Don't act like an oblivious idiot, Y/N. Why wouldn't disappearing on your boyfriend for a month be a problem?” Felix growls and you scoff in return “Don't act like you're really my boyfriend, Lee Yongbok” Your tone is full of venom.

Felix gives you a look of confusion and bewilderment. “The fuck is that supposed to mean?!” He exclaims as he clenches his fists at his sides. You shake your head “Nothing. Forget it.” you grit turning to walk toward the door. Felix holds you in place by your wrist as he steps in front of you. “No, you seem like you have a lot to say all of a sudden. Like you're not wrong for at least answering one of my calls!”

“Stop pretending to give a shit! I know! I know about your disgusting bet! I know about how you need to sleep with me before a year is up! I know that this is a game for you! So just stop!” you snap.

I don't need your games, game over; Get me off this roller-coaster…..Ooh, ooh…..All I know, all I know…..

Felix felt all the blood drain from his face. His heart stopped as your words rang through his ears. No…No…That can't be true….please, don't let this be true.. Felix thought. His blood ran cold and it felt like someone poured a bucket of cold water over his head. “Y-Y/N, L-Let me explain….” He states, his voice almost inaudible he takes a step toward you. His heart cracks when you take a step back and look away from him. “N-No….Please, you weren't supposed to ever know about this. Please let me explain” He pleads.

You shake your head “Honestly, I don't care about an explanation from you. Nothing you say would matter to me at this point.”

Felix feels his resolve crumble at those words “Y-You don't mean that…” He states in disbelief “Y-you love me…you can't possibly mean that.” you scoff at his words “You really think I'm stupid enough to still love you after finding out the disgusting reason you asked me out in the first place?” Tears fill Felix's eyes as he stares at you with a pleasing expression. “It's not like that….please I-I know you still love me. I can make this right, I-I can fix this….” he caresses your cheek as he stares into your eyes. You look at him in disbelief “You can't ‘fix’ this. It's broken and done with.”

A devastating cry is released from Felix’s throat “Y/N….i-it can't be, please. I-I just need one chance, I love you I'm sorry; I shouldn't—I shouldn't have made the bet…but, it's how we got together s-so, please I-if you can overlook this one mistake…” he looks at you with hopeful eyes and you return his gaze with a glare. Some nerve…you think to yourself. “What? You want to keep playing this fucking game with me? I don't want to ‘overlook this one mistake’ because it's not a fucking mistake. You manipulative, gaslighting fuck. You have your head shoved so far up your own ass you don't hear how stupid you sound. I'm breaking up with you. The game’s over, I won't continue to lose because I love you. I'm done being your fucking puppet.” you growl before you walk around him, bumping into him with your shoulder as you pass him. Opening the door you enter the building heading to your lecture.

Felix stood there, tears streaming down his cheeks as you walked away. His chest clenched tightly as he cried to himself wishing to turn back time and never make that stupid ass bet.

Loving you is a losing game

⏪|⏸️|🔄

Taglist: @yangbbokari @havenwithleeknow

#skz angst #stray kids angst #stray kids fluff #stray kids smut #stray kids felix smut #lee felix smut #lee felix fluff #lee felix x reader #lee felix #stray kids felix #felix angst #felix fluff #felix x reader #skz imagines #skz felix #skz heartbreak playlist #stray kids heartbreak #Spotify

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dazed--xx · 1 month

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🛫Wherever You Are🛬

Summary: Torn in two, And I know I shouldn't tell you. But I just can't stop thinking of you, Wherever you are. You. Wherever you are; Every night I almost call you. Just to say it always will be you…Wherever you are

Member: Jeongin x Reader

T/W: Break Up, arguments, crying, heartbreak, ANGST…, swearing, yelling, sad ending, ghosting, Long distance relationship, neglect, ambiguous aged female (17-22), emotional manipulation.

Word Count: 3.2K

For a while we pretended, that we never had to end it but we knew we'd have to say goodbye…You were crying at the airport when they finally closed the plane door; I could barely hold it all inside……

“Is that everything?” Y/N asked as she looked around her packed-up room. Boxes stacked by her door as she rolled her suitcase toward the door placing it beside the boxes as she heard Jeomgin huff from his seat on her bed. “Yeah….” He grumbles “Don't sound so happy about it.” she rolls her eyes as he crosses his arms over his chest. A frustrated scowl on his expression. Her heartaches as she pouts; taking hesitant steps toward her boyfriend. He gives her a side eye as she stands in front of him.

“Don't be like that…you act like I have a choice here….”

Jeongin pouts at her words allowing his hands to fall to his sides. “No…I know but—sigh—this seems so hard. How do you expect me to be okay with this, Y/N?” his voice is laced with hurt. Y/N didn't know how to answer him. She, herself wasn't okay with this situation but, her family was moving to America for her father's job. It was an amazing opportunity for her family to experience things they had only heard about or seen in movies and TV shows. She'd even managed to get into the engineering department at NYU but, the last thing she wanted to do was leave Jeongin behind. Though his schedule was hectic, Jeongin had always made sure you felt like his priority. You guys had been together for a little over 3 years now, and he had already achieved his dream before he'd met you; but Jeongin knew America, specifically New York University was yours. You had suggested remaining in Seoul and going to Seoul National University to your parents but they firmly (and vulgarly) declined.

Y/N stared at Jeongin with sad guilt-filled eyes. “I'm sorry, but it's only for 2 years. When you guys come to New York on tour, I'll be the first one to buy tickets and come see you and I'll fly back whenever I can. Don't be mad at me….” She pleads as she holds Jeongin’s hand in hers. Jeongin stares back at her in return. With a painfilled pout on his lips, as his eyes are glossy, he removes his right hand from your grasp caressing your cheek as he sighs. “I'm not mad at you, I'm just trying to be okay with this. I don't want to make this so hard it's just….2 years…I know you told me months ago and I understand this is your dream and a great opportunity for your dad but…2 years away from you? 2 years of not being able to see you whenever I want? I love you so much; you know how hard my tours are for me when I have to be away from you and tomorrow starts a 2-year countdown until we're able to get back together?” Jeongin’s voice cracks as he wraps his arms around your waist resting his forehead on your stomach as he tries to steady his breathing.

“It's not like we're breaking up…” Y/N stammered “I'll visit on breaks and you guys go to New York a lot. It won't be a full 2 years apart, please trust me…I love you; I don't want this to end…” her voice is just above a whisper as her hand finds its way into Jeongin’s hair. He looks up at her with a puppy-dog expression “N-No… that's not what I meant—of course we aren't breaking up. I'm just—the reality is just setting in case you're leaving tomorrow that's all…” He states as his left hand grasps hers turning her around and pulling her into his lap. He rests his head on her right shoulder; he buries his nose in her neck trying to engrave her scent in his nostrils. “I.Nnie~” Y/N whispers and he shushes her in response.

“Let's just stay like this for a second….please? I need this…just one second…” Jeongin whispers desperately; Y/N relaxes in his arms as they sit there trying to hold back the heartbreak they were both feeling from this

Torn in two; And I know I shouldn't tell you but I just can't stop thinking of you….

Moving to America proved to be a major culture shock, though Y/Ns parents had excelled at English due to her father being both from America and a corporate bureaucrat and her mother being a language professor at Yeonsei University before her retirement. They had adjusted well but for Y/N, someone who only managed to just barely pass English class in high school, it was intimidating to now be completely surrounded by it. Not only that but she learned that New York was a melting pot of cultures in the months that she had lived here so there were many other languages she did not know nor understand. She had managed to pick up more and more words as she made more English-speaking friends who could help her. After about 6 months of vigorous studying, she began to pick up bits and pieces of her professor's lectures without the help of her interpreter.

If only she could have the same excitement about seeing Jeongin for the first time since she had left. Stray kids was about to start the U.S. leg of their tour with their first stop being the big apple. And while Y/Ns ability to speak with more and more Americans grew, the ability to speak to her boyfriend dwindled. While she managed to text him at least once or twice every coupled of days or so, his response times would vary from the next day to not at all. Video chat dates and phone calls all but disappeared, and her heart longed for Jeongin most days. Her smile never fully reached her eyes while she was out with her new friends, knowing everything she wanted to share with Jeongin would be met with utter silence or a ‘thats great babe, Love you’. Y/N wasn't sure what to do anymore. While she understood they began comeback season then award season following but in the past Jeonging never felt this….far away.

Y/N laid in bed as she texted Jeongin once more.

I miss you…call me when you can😘

To her surprise it was read almost immediately; noticing those familiar 3 dots indicating he was typing. Y/N’s heart races when a message pops up from him:

I miss you too, video chat in like 10?

An involuntary smile forms on her lips as she reads the message, sitting up in bed she turns on the lamp on her nightstand. Her hands shake as she waits for his call. She couldn't remember how long it had been since she had last seen his face when they talked. 2 weeks? A month? Maybe more; time blended together for her. She watched as the time ticked on; 5 minutes turned to 10. 10 to 15. Her heart ached as she watched the time go by. She wished she could use the time difference as an excuse but it was 11 AM in Seoul. She contemplated calling him when 30 minutes had gone by. She sighed to herself.

That just didn't feel worth it anymore….She thought to herself. Her thoughts were constantly filled with thoughts and images of Jeongin yet, it felt like he had left her behind. She held back tears as she saw the clock hit the one-hour mark and she chose to stop waiting. Turning off the lamp she lays in bed, turning her phone off, she closes her eyes allowing her tears to fall and disappointment to fill her stomach. There's a sharp twisting feeling in her gut as she slowly comes to the realization; that no matter what they had wished for Y/N and Jeongin were supposed to end when she left Korea…..

The next morning Y/N woke with a start; her head feeling groggy as she tried to recall when she had fallen asleep. Turning on her phone she sits up in bed as a barrage of texts and missed video calls from Jeongin came through her phone. She sighs to herself as she swipes the notifications away.

Not today… she thinks to herself I need time….

She takes a few hours wandering around the city before settling at Central Park. Her headphones sitting in her ears as she imagines Jeongin beside her; a bright smile plastered on his lips. A buzzing in her hand pulls her out of her thoughts as she answers the call thoughtlessly. That familiar melodic voice rings through the phone making her freeze “Finally, you answer!” Jeongin chuckles “Didn't know it'd be so hard to get in touch with you..” Y/N could tell he meant it as a joke so she brushed off the slight anger she felt.

“Yeah…” she sighs “Been out and about…I thought you were going to call me last night?” she continues, her tone is hesitant when she poses the question. “Yeah, sorry I got sidetracked Felix-Hyung wanted me to play a game with him. I tried to call you after though” he tries to laugh it off. Y/N’s blood boils at his words “I had already fallen asleep by that point, Jeongin…” She grits as she fumbles with her water bottle taking a sip as she watches the free-going pedestrians around her. The lively hustle and bustle of city life going on around her while she felt this heavy grey South Korea shapes cloud over her head. “Oh, the time difference is still a little weird getting used to…” he brushes you off casually “Anyway, we're coming to New York in two weeks. I want to see you, I'll text you my hotel and stuff” He states excitedly. Y/N grits her teeth as she clenches her left hand in her lap.

Is he serious? She thinks to herself He can't be serious…

“Are you joking?”

“What? No. We’ll be there in two weeks why would it be possibly joking?”

“Jeongin, do you really think I want to see you? When was the last time I talked to you? When's the last time you actually showed any interest in me?” Y/N snaps, her anger boiling over at his nonchalant response. Jeongin sat quietly for a moment, She heard him let out a couple of deep heavy breaths. “Y/N, If you're having a bad day please don't take it out on me, okay? I'm always interested in you—why wouldn't I be?” He states trying to remain calm and not feed into an argument. “No, I'm not having a bad day. Honestly Jeongin, I'm just so tired..” Y/N trails “You should get some rest then” Jeongin suggests innocently.

“No, I'm tired of this. Us. I'm tired of being the only one thing trying to keep this going. I'm tired of being the only one fighting for us—Jeongin, Let's break up” Y/N explains panickedly. “What?! No! Y/N what are you saying?” Jeongin stammer nervously.

“I'm not going to see you when you come to New York. I'm sorry Jeongin” Y/N states definitively “Y/N, wait…please don—” Jeongin’s plea is cut off by Y/N ending the call. She lifts herself from the bench as she walks through the park toward the exit. Her eyes were cascading tears yet, it felt like that storm cloud remained in the park above that bench as she felt the sun shine down on her kissing her skin.

I could fly a thousand oceans; but there's nothing that compares to what we had, and so I walk alone. I wish I didn't have to be gone; Maybe you've already moved on. But the truth is I don't want to know…

Jeongin’s heart ached as he rested his head on the van window. His members' excited cheers and conversations are drowned out by his thoughts. She was somewhere out there in this sea of buildings. His heart was roaming around this city, without him. He blinked away the familiar tears as he pouted behind his face mask. He longed to call her. Oh, how he wished he could turn back time. He'd have called you that night; he'd have called you every single moment he had away from work if he knew that this would be how everything would turn out.

In the two long weeks since Y/N had cut off contact with him, he wondered Is this how she felt? Is this how she felt when life was going on around her and the first person she wanted to call was him?

He hated the dull ache that sat heavily in his chest as he let his mind wander. Was she happier now? Did he hold her back? Did she still love him? Has she moved on? He felt nauseous at the thought. He should have tried harder, he should have done more. Something. Anything to have prevented this painful ache in his chest. He missed her so much. He loved her more than anything and due to his own stupidity he lost her. What was he supposed to do? She had blocked his number after a couple of days of him bombarding her with calls and texts pleading for an explanation. How he wished to hear her voice again. He couldn’t feel the same level of excitement as his members as they exited their van and entered the hotel lobby. Jeongin hung behind the rest as they checked in.

What were you doing right now?

Torn in two and I know I shouldn't tell you but I just can't stop thinking of you…..Wherever you are….You….Wherever you are. Every night I almost call you to say it always will be you Wherever you are……

Jeongin lay in the hotel room as he stared at his phone. He had changed his phone number for this moment. He felt anxious as he tried to find the courage to call Y/N. He struggled between calling her and begging for you to take him back; or, somehow figuring out how to get to NYU and walking the two blocks to your house from there. From what the GPS in his phone was telling him he was only a 30-minute walk away. His heart raced as he contemplated his options. His chest felt heavier the longer he spent without you. His smile and happiness left when you did. He missed her so much, Y/N breaking up with him became the most sudden and unexpected heartbreaking experience of his life.

The 3 years they had spent together became his new dream. If he'd known that night before you left, that he only had her for another 6 months; he would have cherished every second he had left. He would have memorized the way her lips curled into a smile when she rambled.

He would have held onto her so tightly that she wouldn't have been able to walk away.

You can say we'll be together, Someday. Nothing lasts forever, Nothing stays the same; So why can't I stop feeling this way……Torn in two and I know I shouldn't tell you but I just can't stop thinking of……… you

Y/N sat on the couch watching TV as she petted the new cat, Lola, her mother had gotten. She smiled brightly at the ash-colored cat. Its long fluffy fur tickles her fingertips as she waits for her mother to return. Hearing a knock on the door, Y/N places Lola on the couch beside her before making her way to the front door. She jokes to the cat in English assuming her mother has forgotten her key again “She's going to lose her head one-day” Y/N laughs to herself as she opens the door “Eomma, you need a better key……ring” her voice trails at the end of her sentence as she comes face to face with Jeongin. It felt like time stopped as their eyes met. Jeongin looked at her with a pained hopeful expression.

“Y/N…” he breathes out as he takes a step toward her; his hands lifting from his side trying to grasp her waist. Y/N’s heart sunk to her stomach as she takes a step back. “Jeongin….what are you doing here?” she asks nervously as she looks around. “I-I wanted to see you. I told you we had a show here” he stammered lightheartedly trying to repress the overwhelming need to take you into his arms. Y/N shakes her head at his words “I don't know why you'd come here….”

Jeongin looks at her with heartbreak and disbelief. “Y/N, I understand you're mad at me but please, just give me a chance to fix things…”

“Why? You had a chance to fix things, Jeongin”

“I-I didn't know things needed to be fixed…”

Y/N scoffs at his words, her eyes narrowing into a scowl. He didn't know? HE DIDN'T KNOW?! Y/N internally rages “You didn't know?” she asks haphazardly trying to make sense of such a nonsensical statement from her ex. The innocent puppy dog pout on his face makes her anger continue to take hold of her. “How could you not know? We barely talked. You never answered my calls or texts Jeongin”

“I just got caught up with the guys, I didn't intentionally do those things. I—sigh—honestly, I was having so much fun making this album it didn't really cross my mind…”

“So you forgot about me then?” Y/N sneers. Jeongin gives her a look of horror as he shakes his head in denial. “Y/N, No…I would nev—Well what else would you call it then?” Y/N cuts him off. Jeongin looks around nervously as if the answer would magically pop up. He sighs running his left hand through his hair. “It's not that simple…” He states sadly. Y/N rolls her eyes at his words as she grips the door tightly. “But it is though, it is simple. You either forgot about me, or you didn't care enough to actually try. Either way, I'm not dealing with it anymore. I'm not just some toy you put on a shelf to pick up when you finally remember you have it. I loved you. I spent 3 years with you and it took only 6 months away from you to figure out how you actually feel about me. You loved me in Korea but in America I'm forgettable. Have a nice life, Jeongin” Y/N snaps as she allows the door to slam closed as she finishes speaking. Locking the door behind her she lets out a sigh of relief.

Jeongin stared at her door for a few moments before walking away in defeat allowing his mind to wander. He hadn't expected her verbal assault but, he couldn't say he didn't deserve it. Y/N was right for the most part. He hadn't tried, ever since she had moved here, Jeongin felt his creative juices flowing from longing for her return. He had secretly been keeping a countdown since he had found out the date they'd be coming to New York. He planned everything mentally for weeks. When he finally came to his senses; Y/N brutally ripped his heart out. Again, he had deserved it…but she was wrong about one thing. She was never someone he could forget about, it felt like no matter what her image would be burned into his mind.

Wherever you are

⏪|⏸️|⏩

Taglist: @yangbbokari @havenwithleeknow

#skz angst #stray kids angst #stray kids fluff #stray kids smut #stray kids jeongin angst #jeongin angst #stray kids jeongin fluff #jeongin x reader #jeongin smut #jeongin fluff #stray kids jeongin #jeongin break up #skz imagines #skz scenarios #skz heartbreak playlist #stray kids heartbreak #skz jeongin #yang jeongin

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dazed--xx · 1 month

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🌅Someone You Loved🌅

Summary: Now the day bleeds, Into nightfall; And you're not here, To get me through it all. I let my guard down; And then you pulled the rug…..I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Member: Changbin x Reader

Word Count: 3.2K

“You're an ass, why do I hang out with you?”

I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain. Now the day bleeds into nightfall, and you're not here to get me through it all. I let my guard down, and then you pulled the rug…….

“Is that a challenge?”

Who was she?

Why is she all over Changbin?

Why is she calling him Binnie?

His girl? What type of fuckboy—you think to yourself—when the hell?

“Y-Y/N…” you stammer.

It had been one week since the party.

How could he?

How could he play with your heart like that?

How could he do that to you? So suddenly?

“I'm not dating Yeonjun. There honestly doesn't need to be a reason for me to want a break, Changbin.”

“I'm sorry, you're not being fair right now” you cry.

I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug………I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.

⏪|⏸️|⏩

Taglist: @yangbbokari @havenwithleeknow

#skz angst #stray kids angst #stray kids fluff #stray kids smut #skz changbin #changbin angst #changbin fluff #stray kids changbin #changbin #skz heartbreak playlist #stray kids heartbreak #stray kids changbin angst #skz changbin angst

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dazed--xx · 1 month

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🦋Paper Hearts🦋

Summary: Pictures I'm living through for now, Trying to remember all the good times. Our life was cutting through so loud; Memories are playing in my dull mind. I hate this part, paper hearts And I'll hold a piece of yours; Don't think I would just forget about it……Hoping that you won't forget about it

Member: Seungmin x Reader

T/W: Break Ups, arguments crying, heartbreak, ANGST…, swearing, yelling, sad ending, slight shoving nothing too crazy, some emotional manipulation, problem avoidance, denial, (subtle mention to woojin via blacked out photo he existed people he was in the group once)

Word Count: 2.3K

Remember the way you made me feel, Such young love but Something in me knew that it was real; Frozen in my head….

You stared at the ground, the room felt smaller as Seungmin glared at you. “You think you're so perfect? You're overbearing. You nag me at all hours of the day and I can't stans it anymore” He growls harshly. You felt minuscule under his gaze. “All I was saying was you could prioritize our relationship a little bit more, Min…I can't wait around for you forever…” you state breathlessly. Tears threatened to fall as your eyes remained on your lap. “You're being selfish, Y/N if you can't handle that I'm busy then maybe this relationship is too much for you….” He threatens with a scowl. “You're right” you let out breathlessly as you nod in agreement, throwing him off guard. He hadn't expected you to agree, he stares at you in utter shock and disbelief. He struggles to find something to say, he watches in horror as you lift yourself from your spot on the couch and make your way to the door.

“W-Wait..” his call is cut off by the sound of the door closing behind you. He sighs breathlessly as everything replays in his mind. His heart cracks at the harsh words he had spit at you replaying in his mind. This can't be happening….He couldn't just let this happen.…he rushes out of the door after you. His legs move quickly as he sees the elevator door closing behind you, he slams his finger on the elevator button rapidly. His hand shakes at his side as tears build in his eyes. Once the second elevators door opens he's greeted with a bright eyed Felix and Jeongin with their manager stood behind them.

“Hey, sorry we have a schedule come up. You can't go anywhere…” Felix states patting his shoulder. Seungmins heart fell into his gut. “N-No, I-I'll be fast. I need to go…” He stammered trying to go around them to get on the elevator. Their manager stands in front of of him with his arms crossed “Unless it will be less than 5 minutes, I can't let you go. We have to leave for Japan in 45 minutes…so go pack.” He states firmly. Seungmin tries once again to get into the elevator but relents when he see that their manager will not budge. He stomps to his room and tries to call you. Dammit….he thinks to himself when the call goes unanswered. He texts you hoping you will reply and things would be okay.

As you walked home, you allowed the tears to stream down your cheeks. It's over….you think in disbelief. These past 5 years turned to nothing in a matter of minutes. You felt so stupid for caring. Seungmin had changed, he grew and realized who he truly was and you didn't fit in anymore. While you still saw each other every day, you rarely ever stopped fighting; Either due to your ‘nagging’ or his tirades. You remembered when things were different. When Seungmin seemed to love you unconditionally. You're pulled out of your thoughts by your phone's ringtone. Pulling the device out of your pocket, you're greeted with Seungmins contact with a sigh; you press the decking button.

You unlock your door and trudge your way through your apartment. The darkness oddly comforting as you make your way to your bedroom and lay on your bed. You sob as you release all your pent up anger and hurt. Your body trembles as you drift off to a restless slumber.

Pictures I'm living through for now, trying to remember all the good times…Our life was cutting through so loud; Memories are playing in my dull mind. I hate this part, paper hearts and I'll hold a piece of yours….Don't think I would just forget about it; Hoping that you won't forget about it….

You had realized your relationship with Seungmin had ended long before your argument with him the other day. It was when you both had first begun to hit a snag in your relationship. You both still loved each other but, it was clear you no longer could see eye to eye. Everything you did seemed to annoy Seungmin. And his lack of time and busy schedule began to affect you more and more as Stray Kids’ popularity grew. So, while Seungmin was in Japan; you decided to pack up the memories of your time with Seungmon and return them to his dorm. Trying to make this break up as clean as possible.

So here you sat, on the ground as you stared at the photos that mocked you. Your heart shattered on the floor as the memories sat in front of you, replayed in your mind. Picking one picture up, you give yourself a sad smile as a younger version of you and your ex smiled back at you. His members littering the frame The day you guys had made things official.

Stray kids had just debuted and had a small album release party. You sat sandwiched between the clubs couch cushion and Seungmin. A blush decorated your cheeks as Seungmin placed a soft kiss on your cheek. A shy smile forming on your lips as butterflies fluttered in your stomach. “Smile!” a staff member exclaimed excitedly as Jisung jumped on the back of the couch and Felix laid across you and Seungmin’s laps. Chan sat on the opposite side of Seungmin with his arms pinning Hyunjin to Minho in a big hug. Jeongin sat on the floor with a blacked out faced person beside him. As a flash blinded you for a moment.

You sighed wiping your tears as you place the picture in the box as you lift another one. Your fingers trace over the photo outlining your beaming boyfriend as he, Jeongin and you were celebrating their first win.

“I never thought a simple hunk of metal would cause so much chaos” Jeongin joked as he stared at the trophy. Seungmin sniffled as he snatches the trophy from the maknae. “We practically died for this…” Seungmin states with astonishment. You beamed at the pair proudly. “I can't believe I saw Minho-oppa cry.” you joke, Seungmin chuckles “he cried when Jyp kicked him out of the group.” you rolled your eyes with a giggle “If I recall correctly you broke down in tears and needed a moment when he was eliminated.” you counter “but that was on t.v for me this was in person!” you stare at the trophy. A large M on the small head of the little statue. “I mean you guys deserved this anyway, Miroh is a good song. And Stay have been fighting for this” You state matter of factly. The boys nod proudly. “Ugh I need a picture” Jeongin groans as he pulls his phone out. Seungmin holds the trophy up with a surprised look as you pose with a peace sign and a smile.

Your thoughts are cut off by an influx of calls and messages on your phone. You place the rest of the photos in the box as you go to check your notifications. You see the flurry of missed calls and texts from Seungmin. You wince as you delete them, still not being able to find it in yourself to block him. Though you would never admit it to anyone, you kept up with Seungmin’s activities. You have seen the photos and videos of him from Japan. As proud and happy as you were for Seungmin, it hurt. It hurt to see him completely fine despite your last conversation.

Though he constantly called and texted you, the last time you had checked them; you were utterly disappointed with the contents. They were overly nonchalant, never once addressing your argument nor the subsequent breakup. He acted like nothing ever happened, which infuriated you. He was completely unaffected, riding the wave of stardom. So, you stopped reading them, you refused to listen to his cheerful voicemails and completely went silent as he spent his time in Japan. Finishing packing his things you close the box and place it in your car. Once you reach the dorms you leave the box with one of the managers that stayed behind to keep an eye on the dorm. You felt a heavy sting in your heart as you drive home.

Everything is gray under these skies, wet mascara. Hiding every cloud under a smile; When there's cameras. and I just can't reach out to tell you. That I always wonder what you're up to….

Seungmin’s hands shake as he tries to call you again. These past few weeks have been agony. He was able to fake a smile when with the fans or on stage but, as he sat in his hotel room all he could do was break down in tears and sobs. You hadn't spoken to him in weeks….All he could look forward to was being able to finally see you again. He'd do anything to fix this, he'd never gone this long without one of your calls or texts while he was on a tour. It made him nauseous, he couldn't handle the memory of your last conversation so, he ignored it. He knows your relationship was stronger than being able to be destroyed by a few select words he didn't mean.

Even as time went on and his calls and texts remained unanswered, he felt in his heart that once he was able to see you everything would fall back into place. He just needed to get through this flight and he'd be with you again. He'd hear your beautiful voice and see your bright smile shining at him again and things would be perfect again.

Seungmin felt butterflies in his stomach as he made his way through Incheon International. He felt an excited buzz through his body as he sat in the van making his way to the dorm. Everyone stretches and drops their bags in their rooms as they all rush to get some much-needed rest. Seungmin halts as he notices an unfamiliar box seated on his bed. He stares at it with confusion as he pulls it open. His legs felt numb as he examined the contents. His heart cracking with every gifts and picture he had pulled out of the box, clothes you've accumulated of his over the past 5 years. No…This isn't happening…He thinks to himself as he shakes his head. He calls you in a panic. Your phone goes straight to voicemail, desperation fills him as he quickly rushes out of the dorm.

I live through pictures as if I was right there by your side. But you'll be good without me and if I could just give it some time…..I'll be alright

You were sitting on your couch watching the finale of ‘My Demon’ as you heard rapid knocks at your door. Pausing the show, you stare at your door confused making your way over. Staring through the peephole you see Seungmin standing there. Opening the door slightly with a heavy sight and roll of your eyes; you stare at him through the gap. “Can I help you, sir?” you question sarcastically. “Y/N…” Seungmin breathes out with relief as his eyes scan your face. He tries to shove the door open more, trying to get a better view of you. His heart cracking slightly when it doesn't budge. “Why are you here, Seungmin?” you question, your eyes focused on the ground. “I-I wanted to see you…” He trails “W-Why is there a box of my stuff in my room? Y/N, what's going on? Why won't you let me in?” he asks in denial. His eyebrows scrunched together in confusion as he tries to open the door again.

“Because…” you respond stoically “Seungmin, we aren't together anymore.” you fight back tears as you speak. Seungmin stares at you in disbelief. “N-No…come on. Let's just talk about this….” he pleads. You shake your head in response.

“Y/N, please….” his voice is small and pleading as he shoves on the door as hard as he can, forcing it open. His hands encase your face as he tries to get you to look at him. “Seungmin…” you sigh, your eyes focused on the ground. You hear a cry erupt from his throat, “No! Please…just—just look at me, please” he begs as he places his forehead on yours. “I love you. Please don't break up with me…I'm sorry…”

“Min, don't lie to yourself…”

He stares at you in horror as you continue to refuse to meet his eyes “I'm not…”

“You are…you don't love me. You're just used to me…but you're annoyed with my presence”

“Baby, no…” his voice is just above a whisper “I swear I love you. I love you more than anything. I don't want to lose you” He cries wrapping his arms around your waist as you continue to stare at the ground. “Look at me please!” he urges. Your eyes finally meet his and god, does Seungmin wish they hadn't. Your gaze is filled with heartbreak and disappointment. He took a step back for a moment letting his arms fall to his sides as you stared daggers at him. “Leave Seungmin….now,” you demand. He shakes his head taking hold of your hand. “Please don't make me…I'm sorry for what I said that day. Please, I didn't mean it…i can prioritize our relationship. I'll do whatever you want! Please stay with me…” He pleads with tear filled eyes. His nose a bright red.

You shake your head in response “I can't…”

“Please, I love you…you’re everything to me. D-Don’t do this…”

You close your eyes as you slowly shove Seungmin out of your apartment. Ignoring his pleas as he grips your hand tightly. “Please…baby please” He cries one more time as he's finally outside. You shake your head “I'm sorry, Min. I love you, I do but I need to love myself again…everything was too much and I just can't handle it. Please leave…I won't be changing my mind. It's over Seungmin…” you state sadly as you close the door.

Goodbye love, you flew right by love

⏪|⏸️|⏩

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