Everyone asks Why is your voice so drained, so moon?
It's because you are feverishly slipping on mantras that should heal the hollow,
but it just grows larger, and you flail around inside it.
Incendiary Art: Poems, “And He Stays Dead” by Patricia Smith
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Grief's damnable tint
is everywhere, darkening days she is no longer aware of.
Incendiary Art: Poems, “Black, Poured Directly Into the Wound” by Patricia Smith
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Naudline Pierre (Haitian-American, 1989) - A Steady Closeness (2018)
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and to add (hard of hearing anon) like. my hearing is getting worse!!! it has been since i was a baby!!! and im 17 and my doctors say that im gonna be mostly deaf in a few years!!! and it sucks!!! and like i have to deal with that and sure sometimes it's so upsetting that i can't get out of bed but like ive come to peace w it yknow? and that makes it even harder to meet new people or date long term because like they're gonna have to deal w that. like there's no way i can't tell them ab it. and contrary to popular belief ab views on disability now no most people do not want to learn asl for you or deal w that long term!! ive broken up with one of my girlfriends over it and it really really sucks like it's horrible because then it's just... what the hell am i supposed to do now??? which is why i mostly date inside the community now and it's great to have someone who gets it on some level but it's like. why do i have to actively seek that out why can't people just handle it upfront. and im bitter ab it. but at the same time like i get it and im glad my ex broke up w me upfront and told me ab it instead us just like being unhappy together. like there are a lot of complicated feeling between me and my disability and i would do anything to not be disabled but at the same time im at peace w it and if people can't handle that then fuck them! but also i get it. and to tie it all up i get people want to solve my problems and everything and i get the sentiment but at the same time like no?? why should i have to feel guilty about something i can live with and be happy with just because my dates or my friends aren't super comfortable w it. so sorry for the long rant
It’s like. We are perpetually mourning our bodies. Everything you said is... I really really resonate with it. You sound like such an introspective & considerate person. I adore your approach to the notion/s of guilt that so often come hand in hand with disability. Thank U so much for sharing with me
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so im hard of hearing and one of my ears is really really bad. like almost deaf. and even if i do wear hearing aids it won't fix it because it is just that fucked up. my left ear can hear okay ish so me personally i don't technically like warn people like i don't like that word but i do tell them like hey repeat stuff for me and try to stand on my left side etc etc which usually isn't bad for them like they try to do it and stuff but like in the end it gets tiring and they start saying shit like have you looked into that type of implant and stuff like that which is like almost disappointing because like ive made peace w my disability and im used to it and i don't like it when people try to "solve" it
Yeah I get that! A much gentler approach that I need to adopt. God... the people that try to fix U.. 😡🔪 it is such a let down
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(cane user anon) thank you!!! yeah i feel murderous too but im taking them to court (also it was probably a mix of homophobia + ableism yay) 😎😁 they will regret this decision!!
Oh wow that’s amazing, best of luck to u. I hope they rot 🥰
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im half blind and i tell people exclusively so they make font bigger/so they say "aww that sucks" and pat me on the head like im a little dog and then give me little bones and then i go barkbarkbark
U are my idol
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i started using a cane recently and i did not warn any of the (few) people i met, but they were all very comprehensive and all. it did however get me in trouble as in ive been fired when the boss discovered i was disabled lol
I feel murderous wtf... are U okay angel?
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re: disability stuff: im not 'visibly' disabled and i try to take an attitude of not saying anything unless its directly relevant and just letting them figure it out and like. if they react poorly then i dont wanna be around them anyway. dont always succeed! definitely still hurts sometimes! but its what i try for
I love this. When I grow up I want to be just like U
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i dont "warn" ppl about my disability but im visibly disabled + a crutch user so it depends on circumstances of if it even matters. if im only in one or two rooms in my house the only difference is a stool here or there. i will say that i dont like explaining that im disabled and i like to have it just be a fact of life rather than some big deal or why i cant xyz. i dont do tooooo much meeting people where they havent already seen me though
hey thank U for the response! i like ur attitude towards it! it seems more collected & something i need to remind myself to do. i always struggle to not make it a big deal but it's hard b/c it has always been made a big deal. in the past
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physically disabled people: when meeting someone for the first time (i.e. a date) do you "warn" them about your disability? or do you say nothing & risk the negative reaction? is there anything you do that falls in-between?
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Hi for the love of god hello
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listing my tumblr mutuals in the dedication of my first novel
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Due dates 1928-1975.
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Mrs. Dalloway said she would pack the bong herself.
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The most insufferable thing about me is the fact that I’ve used a cigarette as a bookmark on more than one occasion
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do u have any book recs that have been positive during recovery from an ed?
in treatment i tend to read a lot of toni morrison, clarice lispector, virginia woolf, audre lorde, yusef komunyakaa, mary karr, louise glück, june jordan, james baldwin, emily brontë. the writing itself has nothing to do w/ eating disorders i think it just has something to do with the way all the dense imagery makes me feel connected to myself again. it is the glue
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