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[dedicatedfollower467]

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” said the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back!”

“Be logical,” said the scorpion. “If I stung you I’d certainly drown myself.”

“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Climb aboard, then!” But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown. “Why on earth did you do that?” the frog said morosely. “Now we’re both going to die.” 

“I can’t help it,” said the scorpion. “It’s my nature.”

___

…But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the frog felt a subtle motion on its back, and in a panic dived deep beneath the rushing waters, leaving the scorpion to drown.

“It was going to sting me anyway,” muttered the frog, emerging on the other side of the river. “It was inevitable. You all knew it. Everyone knows what those scorpions are like. It was self-defense.”

___

…But no sooner had they cast off from the bank, the frog felt the tip of a stinger pressed lightly against the back of its neck. “What do you think you’re doing?” said the frog.

“Just a precaution,” said the scorpion. “I cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fair’s fair, isn’t it?”

They swam in silence to the other end of the river, where the scorpion climbed off, leaving the frog fuming.

“After the kindness I showed you!” said the frog. “And you threatened to kill me in return?”

“Kindness?” said the scorpion. “To only invite me on your back after you knew I was defenseless, unable to use my tail without killing myself? My dear frog, I only treated you as I was treated. Your kindness was as poisoned as a scorpion’s sting.”

___

…“Just a precaution,” said the scorpion. “I cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fair’s fair, isn’t it?”

“You have a point,” the frog acknowledged. “But once we get to dry land, couldn’t you sting me then without repercussion?”

“All I want is to cross the river safely,” said the scorpion. “Once I’m on the other side I would gladly let you be.”

“But I would have to trust you on that,” said the frog. “While you’re pressing a stinger to my neck. By ferrying you to land I’d be be giving up the one deterrent I hold over you.”

“But by the same logic, I can’t possibly withdraw my stinger while we’re still over water,” the scorpion protested.

The frog paused in the middle of the river, treading water. “So, I suppose we’re at an impasse.”

The river rushed around them. The scorpion’s stinger twitched against the frog’s unbroken skin. “I suppose so,” the scorpion said.

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Absolutely not!” said the frog, and dived beneath the waters, and so none of them learned anything.

___

A scorpion, being unable to swim, asked a turtle (as in the original Persian version of the fable) to carry it across the river. The turtle readily agreed, and allowed the scorpion aboard its shell. Halfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtle’s thick shell. The turtle, swimming placidly, failed to notice.

They reached the other side of the river, and parted ways as friends.

___

…Halfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtle’s thick shell.

The turtle, hearing the tap of the scorpion’s sting, was offended at the scorpion’s ungratefulness. Thankfully, having been granted the powers to both defend itself and to punish evil, the turtle sank beneath the waters and drowned the scorpion out of principle.

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” sneered the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back.”

The scorpion pleaded earnestly. “Do you think so little of me? Please, I must cross the river. What would I gain from stinging you? I would only end up drowning myself!”

“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Even a scorpion knows to look out for its own skin. Climb aboard, then!”

But as they forged through the rushing waters, the scorpion grew worried. This frog thinks me a ruthless killer, it thought. Would it not be justified in throwing me off now and ridding the world of me? Why else would it agree to this? Every jostle made the scorpion more and more anxious, until the frog surged forward with a particularly large splash, and in panic the scorpion lashed out with its stinger.

“I knew it,” snarled the frog, as they both thrashed and drowned. “A scorpion cannot change its nature.”

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. The frog agreed, but no sooner than they were halfway across the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown.

“I’ve only myself to blame,” sighed the frog, as they both sank beneath the waters. “You, you’re a scorpion, I couldn’t have expected anything better. But I knew better, and yet I went against my judgement! And now I’ve doomed us both!”

“You couldn’t help it,” said the scorpion mildly. “It’s your nature.” 

___

…“Why on earth did you do that?” the frog said morosely. “Now we’re both going to die.”

“Alas, I was of two natures,” said the scorpion. “One said to gratefully ride your back across the river, and the other said to sting you where you stood. And so both fought, and neither won.” It smiled wistfully. “Ah, it would be nice to be just one thing, wouldn’t it? Unadulterated in nature. Without the capacity for conflict or regret.”

___

“By the way,” said the frog, as they swam, “I’ve been meaning to ask: What’s on the other side of the river?”

“It’s the journey,” said the scorpion. “Not the destination.”

___

…“What’s on the other side of anything?” said the scorpion. “A new beginning.”

___

…”Another scorpion to mate with,” said the scorpion. “And more prey to kill, and more living bodies to poison, and a forthcoming lineage of cruelties that you will be culpable in.”

___

…”Nothing we will live to see, I fear,” said the scorpion. “Already the currents are growing stronger, and the river seems like it shall swallow us both. We surge forward, and the shoreline recedes. But does that mean our striving was in vain?”

___

“I love you,” said the scorpion.

The frog glanced upward. “Do you?”

“Absolutely. Can you imagine the fear of drowning? Of course not. You’re a frog. Might as well be scared of breathing air. And yet here I am, clinging to your back, as the waters rage around us. Isn’t that love? Isn’t that trust? Isn’t that necessity? I could not kill you without killing myself. Are we not inseparable in this?”

The frog swam on, the both of them silent.

___

“I’m so tired,” murmured the frog eventually. “How much further to the other side? I don’t know how long we’ve been swimming. I’ve been treading water. And it’s getting so very dark.”

“Shh,” the scorpion said. “Don’t be afraid.”

The frog’s legs kicked out weakly. “How long has it been? We’re lost. We’re lost! We’re doomed to be cast about the waters forever. There is no land. There’s nothing on the other side, don’t you see!”

“Shh, shh,” said the scorpion. “My venom is a hallucinogenic. Beneath its surface, the river is endlessly deep, its currents carrying many things.” 

“You - You’ve killed us both,” said the frog, and began to laugh deliriously. “Is this - is this what it’s like to drown?” 

“We’ve killed each other,” said the scorpion soothingly. “My venom in my glands now pulsing through your veins, the waters of your birthing pool suffusing my lungs. We are engulfing each other now, drowning in each other. I am breathless. Do you feel it? Do you feel my sting pierced through your heart?”

“What a foolish thing to do,” murmured the frog. “No logic. No logic to it at all.”

“We couldn’t help it,” whispered the scorpion. “It’s our natures. Why else does anything in the world happen? Because we were made for this from birth, darling, every moment inexplicable and inevitable. What a crazy thing it is to fall in love, and yet - It’s all our fault! We are both blameless. We’re together now, darling. It couldn’t have happened any other way.”

___

“It’s funny,” said the frog. “I can’t say that I trust you, really. Or that I even think very much of you and that nasty little stinger of yours to begin with. But I’m doing this for you regardless. It’s strange, isn’t it? It’s strange. Why would I do this? I want to help you, want to go out of my way to help you. I let you climb right onto my back! Now, whyever would I go and do a foolish thing like that?”

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” said the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back!”

“Be logical,” said the scorpion. “If I stung you I’d certainly drown myself.”  

“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Come aboard, then!” But no sooner had the scorpion mounted the frog’s back than it began to sting, repeatedly, while still safely on the river’s bank.

The frog groaned, thrashing weakly as the venom coursed through its veins, beginning to liquefy its flesh. “Ah,” it muttered. “For some reason I never considered this possibility.”

“Because you were never scared of me,” the scorpion whispered in its ear. “You were never scared of dying. In a past life you wore a shell and sat in judgement. And then you were reborn: soft-skinned, swift, unburdened, as new and vulnerable as a child, moving anew through a world of children. How could anyone ever be cruel, you thought, seeing the precariousness of it all?” The scorpion bowed its head and drank. “How could anyone kill you without killing themselves?”

#the frog and the scorpion #the scorpion and the frog #reblogging this so i can find it again #i LOVED this when i first saw it #but i foolishly didn't reblog it! #fable #aesops fables #fables #fairy tales

[dedicatedfollower467]

A group of friends and I did a one shot recently in 5e. The catch is that they play something called “Dude Squad” where the only play “dudes” (not exclusively male people, just dude mentality) and they hate all magic and magic users. They think true strength is muscles and only muscles, and have in the past encountered magic users who they then convince to give up magic.

We got told to build a level 17 character for this one shot, most of the other folks had previous Dude Squad characters to resurrect. But I didn’t really want to play a straight martial class. In my heart, spellcasters are my true class, and I didn’t really have a strong idea of what kind of character to make.

So I approached the DM and said, “Hey, I have this idea to play a character that pretends to be a martial class but is actually a magic caster?” My girlfriends character is an aasimar who thinks he’s Thor and my backstory was that after meeting him and falling for him she decided to invest heavily in deceptive magic so as not to alienate him.

And my DM. Loved it. So he helped me build an extremely custom character. Two levels in Hexblade warlock gave her a good weapon and the ability to cast disguise self pretty much nonstop to appear buffer than she actually was.

Then there was four levels in Stone sorcerer in order to get 4 sorcery points, the ability to use those points to cast using Subtle Spell and no one could tell she’s casting, and to buff her AC.

Finally there was 11 Bladesong wizard levels in order to get some attack bonuses, even more AC, extra attacks, and the ability to burn spells to take less damage.

So the whole time I was burning spell slots to recharge my sorcery points every time I cast things like Haste and Spider Climb and use my Bladesong powers. We busted through walls and smashed our way through puzzles. We lied and said my character was a Barbarian/Monk so they didn’t bat and eye when she ran on walls with spider climb, but no one noticed when even after dashing she “held onto the stone wall” without any kind of check.

The final battle: the goblin wizard boss we were fighting had cast invulnerability on himself and had our friend mind controlled. So I’m trying to cover for not attacking as I try to dispel his invulnerability. I can no longer run on walls, or make the jumps my party is making on floating platforms over a spike pit so I try to use my actions on other helpful things like tying ropes for friends in the pit. I manage to dispel the magic on our friend but I burned almost all my spells trying to secretly dispel the boss’ spell and finally we just ended up grappling and suffocating him then pummeling him to death.

But at the last moment as we’re running out of this horrible goblin mansion I’m running down a wall and my friends are climbing down. The building says there’s 6 seconds left and my very injured love interest is not gonna make it so my character shouted “Fuckfuckfuck!” Ran over and cast dimension door to bring them both to safety. (Two people got left in the blast but both survived cause Dude Power). Then I critically failed my deception about how I had used magic and came clean and everyone lost their shit when they heard what we’d done. Her final confession, after dropping her buff disguise self, was, “When I met Kathor I really liked him and he freakin’ hates magic so I just kinda figured out how to hide that I was castin’ magic cause I though we might go to pound town.”

Kathor then declared, “I’ve never had someone try so hard to get in my pants!” And swept her up and they messily made out. It was deeply satisfying the wonders that DnD can create, like making a whole class based on the lie that you’re not spellcasting.

#dnd #yes exactly i love it

[dedicatedfollower467]

speaking of megamind and weird alien anatomy, i was looking through some of my old headcanon doodles yesterday

i realized that one of my concepts was that instead of megamind's head actually housing an enormous brain (which irl would cost an ENORMOUS amount of energy to maintain with diminishing returns), he actually has a fairly human-ish sized brain.

instead, his skull is somewhat concave and most of the flesh in his forehead is actually adipose tissue similar in structure and function to a dolphin's melon. and also his sinuses are enormous and extensive and they have phonic lips similar to a dolphin's in addition to his larynx, so he can make dolphin-like clicks/whistles that sound like they're coming either out of his nose or through the center of his forehead.

the phonic lips are circled in red. as you can see i gave him quite a lot of them, so he can probably make a whole bunch of weird alien sounds.

i can't decide whether i want his melon to be squishy like a beluga or more rigid like most other dolphins. logically, the more rigid melon probably makes the most sense, but the idea of megamind having a squishy head is just so FUNNY to me.

#megamind #anatomy #alien anatomy #speculative biology #speculative evolution #there's actually a lot of cool stuff i did with his respiratory system too #i just need to like. decode it for myself #because i didn't actually write any of them down in words orz #he's definitely a bit of a kitchen sink alien tho lol #like i threw basically every weird biology quirk i could think of into him #i will probably dial it back if i ever write any actual megamind fic

[dedicatedfollower467]

I love him.💙

#same #his little face #megamind

[dedicatedfollower467]

gonna be horny on main here and just say that i want smut with more weird inhuman genitalia. knots and hemipenes and retractable tentacle dicks aren't enough for me anymore, i want weirder.

i don't even know why really i just wanna read about weird stuff.

#monster fucker #monsterfucker #monster fucking #monsterfucking #horny on main #nsfw text

[dedicatedfollower467]

the notes on that last poll are insane there was someone who said they separate fics into "porn" and "story" and they didnt stop for a second to think that sex in and of itself might be a story??? the way some of you people trivialize sex and explicit art is fucking bonkers to me. you sound like a christian when you act like sex cheapens art or like art focusing on sex is a completely separate category from non-sexual art. explicit fics, yes even pwp (which i believe is a misnomer anyways), are telling stories and they're stories worth telling because sex is normal and healthy and deeply important to many of us. just because something gets you off doesn't mean it's cheap or meaningless. i'd argue that things that engage the viewer sexually are very meaningful because human sexuality is complex and beautiful and worth sharing and exploring. Grow up and read about the guys you like sucking eachother off

#all of this!! all of it! #but also #also it can just be fun? #like. you can just have fun #like yes sex can be and often is a part of the deeper narrative and emotional themes #hell i mostly write it that way in my stuff! #but also it can just be fun and you can just have fun with it #you can just get off to it and have fun while doing so #having fun and playing are also meaningful #y'know? #smut #fanfic #purity culture #like there is nothing inherently 'lesser' about just a pwp that's for porn and nothing else #because just enjoying yourself is still important and meaningful

[dedicatedfollower467]

the homestucks could not fight they snapped the stick before making a dent in the piñata

#SERIOUSLY THE FACT THAT IT WAS A DAVE WHO BROKE THE STICK #homestuck #homestuck fandom #video warning #motion warning #lol #also love that it's a dirk who's like no you know what this motherfucker is going down if its the last thing i do #and then a karkat kicks it lmao

[dedicatedfollower467]

we haven't had a true tumblr sexyman in years. Sans was like the last one. I can still see his weird glowing goo ghost dick when I close my eyes. that kind of absolute derangement just doesn't happen anymore. some people just liking Astarion and Senshi a lot is not the same. a true tumblr sexyman makes this website absolutely unusable

#correct #tbqh part of the tumblr sexyman 'thing' was coming across uncensored untagged porn of the sexyman while just cruising through the fandom ta #which to be fair i only experienced it with sans but like #you only have to see one untagged skeletal goo pussy y'know? #and honestly i'm kinda glad that's not a thing anymore #my sister won't play undertale specifically BECAUSE she found untagged porn of it and now can't unsee it #tumblr sexyman #on the other hand the porn ban also drove a lot of creators off the site so #y'know #nobody to make the sexyman content anymore #fandom #tumblr

[dedicatedfollower467]

maybe monsterfucker erotica doesn't need a plot but it certainly gives the whole thing a bit more substance

#yeah same #lol #monsterfucker #monster fucker #monsterfucking #monster fucking

[dedicatedfollower467]

#lmao #i love the english language #video warning #motion warning #japanese #i don't actually know what they're saying but also yes i do. i know exactly what they're saying

[dedicatedfollower467]

A quick animation test to figure out any design problems of my film character.

#aw they're so cute #look at their big nose and their lopsided eyes #according to op's tags they are an acrocanthosaurus #dinosaurs #animation #motion warning #video warning

[dedicatedfollower467]

Reblog to let your followers know that despite your current obsession your previous obsessions still exist and are simply lying dormant until they awaken and strike again

#yup #fandom #same

[dedicatedfollower467]

i didn't manage to get art done for the past two 413s, but today is a saturday so i had lots of free time!

i've drawn a lot of davekat and a lot of dirkjake but really this is the first time that rosemary has been a focus on one of my drawings. kanaya was the very first lesbian i ever saw in media and probably the first canonically queer character i remember reading about, so these two and their relationship have always meant a lot to me.

#self reblog #morning reblog #my art #homestuck #rose lalonde #kanaya maryam

[dedicatedfollower467]

okay what the hell, it's still homestuck day, have a pissed off karkat.

#self reblog #morning reblog #im actually really fucking proud of this #karkat vantas #homestuck #my art

[dedicatedfollower467]

i have very strong shape language opinions about the homestuck characters, and very few people agree with me, including like. the "official" people.

(feel free to ask me about my shape language opinions)

#about me #homestuck #it's hard and nobody understands #character design

[dedicatedfollower467]

homestuck 2 panel redraw!!

#i am way behind on hs2 but I FUCKING. CACKLED. #THIS MAN LOOKS *SO SERIOUS* AND *SO ANIME* #AND THEN THE FUCKING #SBAHJ TATTOO #I FORGET ABOUT IT AND IT GETS ME *EVERY TIME* #ITS LEGIT SO FUNNY #hs2 #terezi pyrope #dirk strider #ultimate dirk #homestuck

[dedicatedfollower467]

god iron infidel is such an underrated piece of music. one of my favorites in the homestuck oeuvre.

#homestuck #homestuck music #iron infidel #413 #happy 413