definitely-not-lordenglish

[definitely-not-lordenglish]

#shes onto nothing 🔥🔥🔥🔥 #< prev

[definitely-not-lordenglish]

i want to share with you some of my favourite graffiti from Pompeii

“Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!“ 

“Amplicatus, I know that Icarus is buggering you. Salvius wrote this.“ 

“We two dear men, friends forever, were here. If you want to know our names, they are Gaius and Aulus.“

“Floronius, privileged soldier of the 7th legion, was here. The women did not know of his presence. Only six women came to know, too few for such a stallion.“

“On April 19th, I made bread.“

“ I have buggered men.“

“If anyone does not believe in Venus, they should gaze at my girlfriend.“

“It took 640 paces to walk back and forth between here and there ten times.“

“Chie, I hope your hemorrhoids rub together so much that they hurt worse than when they every have before!“

“Epaphra is not good at ball games.”

“Two friends were here.  While they were, they had bad service in every way from a guy named Epaphroditus.  They threw him out and spent 105 and half sestertii most agreeably on whores.“

“Secundus likes to screw boys.“

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[definitely-not-lordenglish]

I think we're starting to dilute the meaning of "terminally online". Like, no, it's not terminally online to have eccentric opinions about a popular TV show – people like that existed before "online" was a thing. Unless we're talking at least an "it's homophobic for gay furries to have rat fursonas because they're depicting gay people as vermin", the onlineness falls well short of terminal.

[definitely-not-lordenglish]

people will hear you talk about struggling with mental illness and say “you can do anything if you just put your mind to it”. brother what part of the body does the mental illness happen in. what do you think is the problem

[definitely-not-lordenglish]

Pregnancy runs in my family. Over half of my ancestors had it at some point.

[definitely-not-lordenglish]

to unalive a mockingbird

[definitely-not-lordenglish]

if tumblr explodes you can address a letter to my url and place it in any hollow log. to be clear i will not receive it. but it is an action you can take

[definitely-not-lordenglish]

no, YOU have a microwave brain that slowly rotates blorbos. I have a washing machine brain that rotates AND soaks them and sometimes things get a little intense and it starts going THUNK THUNK THUNK and nearly breaks itself because of blorbo overload

[definitely-not-lordenglish]

shout out to people who's family isnt entirely bad or entirely good, but something in between and you dont know how to feel about them. you feel angry but you also feel guilty, because you know they genuinely love and care about you, but sometimes they show it in a way you know its not okay. your feelings are valid, your anger and sadness and grief are valid, and you dont have to prove this to no one. bigger shout out to those with memory issues who know something isnt right but can't recall all of the bad events, only the feelings, which only increases the guilt.

[definitely-not-lordenglish]

when i was post op after top surgery i had a good friend there with me to help recover. but the nurse didnt get the memo and when i woke up she was like “ok i’m gonna go get your girlfriend and bring her in to see you!” and i remember being so zonked on anesthesia and so disoriented i just laid there thinking wow…… all that an they’re bringing me a girlfriend too this place is amazing

[definitely-not-lordenglish]

[definitely-not-lordenglish]

Im curious.

#fucking. family guy in middle school #yes I used to watch family guy. can’t believe I turned out normal #well I’m not normal but yk

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[definitely-not-lordenglish]

[definitely-not-lordenglish]

"the cop inside your head" is how some of you describe what many would call a "moral compass"

[definitely-not-lordenglish]