demigender-positivity

[demigender-positivity]

It's incredible that after all this time gone quiet, I still get notes on this blog daily. It's a wild reminder about the time i spent on this! I think everyones noticed it's silent now, though. I don't know what the end for this blog is. I've personally been a part of it for about two or three years with Angel. I can't even remember when I began but I put a lot of time into this. i put a lot of time into a lot I do! But my interests and priorities have definitely shifted. My energy levels have shifted. Running a popular blog that got bombarded with a bit of bull and a lot of TERFS, transphobes and radfems, became exhausting. Seeing my identities dissected and judged every day was taking its toll. So now I engage at my own speed, outside the blog and block liberally. lol.

For all the people I left in the ask box, I'm sorry. While it was difficult to answer your questions on mobile, the format is broken, you still deserve answers. I've gotten about the same type of questions so I'll answer them then leave last encouragement before I back off from the blog entirely.

Only you know what is right for you. If demigirl, demiboy, being both, if all that feels right, then that's what your truth is. You can look through an identity index and do further research with your own intuition, and I hope you have done that.

My lasting encouragement: Trans, GNC, Nonbinary, etc. you arent conversations. Your identity isn't a conversation, and you don't have to answer to people who insist on making you a conversation instead of letting you be your own answer.

You're all free to follow me on my main blog, @skyward-heartbeat. Otherwise I'll be letting the place settle back into dust. I just wanted the last post I personally make set how I'm interacting and let people know what to expect.

I love you all, and I support you all. It's been fun!

#mod rambles

[demigender-positivity]

Unpopular opinion time, but maybe the reason we’re seeing a decline in the severity of trans people’s dysphoria is because there’s been an increase in trans representation and the visibility of trans bodies, and it’s helping shape a healthier expectation and understanding of what it means to be a [insert gender here].

Like, not to talk about my junk, but my bottom dysphoria was ridiculous before I was exposed to images of men who looked like me, and now it’s kinda… become a less essential component of my transition and my security in my identity as a man, you feel? And even seeing trans women kind of helped disconnect those parts from masculinity in my brain in a way that’s made it easier to accept what I’ve got going on.

I mean, I still have debilitating dysphoria about a lot, I’d say most, aspects of my body on most days, but every time I see, like, a cool dude chillin’ with no binder on, there’s a little part of me that remembers there’s no right or wrong way to be a man and that I don’t have to constantly compare myself to cis guys.

#very good yes #body positivity #lgbtia positivity #lgbtia #trans

[demigender-positivity]

Photos of gay trans male activist Lou Sullivan throughout his life, as presented in Lou Sullivan: Daring to be a Man Among Men by Brice D. Smith

#lgbtia #lgbtia history #i ADORE THIS #gay #lgbt #trans #positivity

[demigender-positivity]

good news, yall! I'm engaged!!!! gay rights!

#i finally popped the question like a fuckin dolt on christmas #im out here being gay ON main #mod matthew #personal #positive #lgbtia #gay #trans #transgender #trans rights #nonbinary #gay rights #gay marriage

[demigender-positivity]

Reminder that it really doesn’t matter what ways you’re marginalized, if you’re not black you’re just as capable of anti blackness as white cishet people. No amount of “but I’m gay!”, “but I’m trans!”, or “but I’m not white!” changes that.

And being neurodiverse/disabled isn’t an excuse for anti blackness either.

#important

[demigender-positivity]

Incredibly written, and I hate that you had to expend so much energy for this. People who expect so much answers from one person really need some self reflection. What bothers me about this fake-woke take that this person is saying that nonbinary people are mostly of color and while that's true, literally countless people of color said we should NOT use "nb" as nonbinary because it means "non-black"! so their argument is. So backwards.

Ah the joys of semantics... I tried a different way of merging screenshots so it'd be a little easier to follow, but we'll see if Tumblr scrambles the order.

Anyway, this whole ~chat~ was based off this thread post.

For referrence, the thing that apparently upset them was that I used the tag "enbyphobia" to sort it on my own blog. They kept referencing that the "op" of the thread post wouldn't like it, as though on this post of over 30k notes, which I reblogged from a totally different person (@demigender-positivity ), that should matter? My response was not even written "to the op" of the thread but to the 3rd commenter down it, and to people harassing the kid (elrisworld) in general. And it was only used as a tag.

They kept messaging me over the course of over a week because everytime I gave a response they waited days to respond. Each time I thought that maybe they had accepted my response or moved on, but sure enough they'd be back... And I think it all perfectly demonstrates how not to speak to someone just because of a word choice difference.

Which - let's be honest - was more of an excuse just to request I and no one else ever use the term "enby". Tagged or not.

Tldr:

Me: This sounds a lot like people who ask no one else use "queer" because they personally dislike it

Them: No its totally different. Don't use "enby" because some of us personally dislike it. Just use the exact same word but spelled differently.

Me: The spelling of a word doesn't change the word itself. Its still the same word and pronounced the same way. We are also free to use the terms we like on our own blogs.

Them: Since you don't agree with me you aren't listening to me.

----

Moral of the story? If you personally are not comfortable with "enby" then that's fine. But don't ask others to not use it. Its literally just a spelled out pronounciation. Also, bullying others who do use it (saying they are harmful or juvenile, while you are somehow more mature for not using it) is wrong and is ageism. Associating a non-age related term with a negative, age-related conotation is exactly ageism. If you feel it sounds too youthful to use, then by all means don't use it. But don't tell others to feel the same way when to them it sounds fine. It is by definition not an age related term. Percieving it as an age-related term is one's own agency.

[demigender-positivity]

I don't know where to put this but I found out that my gender presentation is a Glam Bear LOL. Once i'm on T, i will be so. So. Hairy. And so BEAUTIFUL. BET!!!!

#mlm #lgbtia #humor #gay humor #FUCK I FORGOT MY TAG

[demigender-positivity]

everyone be like how can i infantilize nonbinary people today

#lgbtia #discourse #but fr tho

[demigender-positivity]

“transition poses some ethical questions. Such as, from what age should you be allowed to irreversibly change your body.“

This of course completely ignores the fact that puberty makes irreversible changes to your body. But let us just rephrase the question: “from what age do you gain bodily autonomy?” Now it gets very easy to answer: From the moment you’re fucking born.

#lgbtia

[demigender-positivity]

straight culture is “breakup prank” being a thing

#humor #this is incredible

[demigender-positivity]

When I tell people to delete anon hate, to not publish it, it’s not me saying “ignore it and it’ll stop; don’t fight back.” It is 100% petty and spiteful. Honestly, I can’t think of anything better than the person who sent the hate obsessively checking your blog and refreshing and refreshing, waiting for you to reply, and getting increasingly frustrated when the ask they so masterfully crafted never pops up & you just keep posting cute pictures of your pets and talking about how nice your day was.

#oh definitely #this what i do with all the threats and hate we get here lol

[demigender-positivity]

theres this awkward disconnect when well meaning whites use genders from other cultures as an argument for respecting nonbinary ppl. 

like if you are saying “other cultures have these 3rd genders so thats evidence nonbinary is real thing” that doesnt really work because those genders arent nonbinary, they exist out of the context of the western gender binary, theyre part of a different system of genders. cant be nonbinary if theres no binary to begin with. 

but if you are using this as an argument for “the gender binary is a western construct thats been pushed on other cultures and also is completely arbitrary and thats why you should respect nonbinary people” then THAT is a prfectly sound arugment.. 

#I've definitely been guilty of that language before :( this makes total sense and ill be implementing it into my vocabulary #lgbtia

[demigender-positivity]

open letter to cis people

#UGHDNCNFNFBD #humor

[demigender-positivity]

im supposed to start hrt soon and was wondering if there were any effects no one really talks about that. should be or smth?

really absolutely depends on the HRT you're taking, whether it's estrogren+spiro or Testosterone

since you asked me I assume you mean testosterone so im gonna get into some stuff, cw for discussion of bits and nsfw themes, this is gonna b long

one of the absolute first things most people get before anything else will be clitoral growth. they warn you about this and it might seem weird or even gross from a perspective of someone who does not have a bit that Looks like that normally, but it feels normal when it happens to you. be prepared to just send a message that's just 'MY DICK?' to someone

it WILL probably feel weird and possibly bad to wear tight fitting underwear for a bit as this happens, itchy or overstimulated or sensitive

you have probably never had to do this before but when this growth happens you'll need to start washing in the shower a different way since you now have like a whole other bit where skin cells and the like will congregate. pull the skin back and wash with a warm cloth (but not with soap). not to be blunt but your clitoral hood will probably very much be like a foreskin and just like other peebus havers you'll have to retract that and wosh

T will probably do whack things to your sex drive. you'll still be you through and through but when I started T for the first couple monthsish ANYTIME I wasn't doing anything my brain was like 😏 what if u beat ur meat. T will eventually make it slower for you to lubricate so if you get off using penetration PLEASE do yourself a favor and invest in lube just in case. do not do what I did and give your dick rugburn

you'll have more energy! it will be easier to do some stuff and you might see a stamina increase

for most people T is like an automatic muscle building machine. timeline of that depends on a lot of factors but I suggest that you take advantage of easier muscle growth by working out once a week or just picking up a newfound appreciation for lifting heavy things

i found it almost instantly harder to cry. i still had those emotions but for some reason after starting T i just didn't reach the point as often where i would actually cry, there is some scientific indication that T does actually make the threshold for crying harder to reach. at the same time, I've never been more stable emotionally, and that's saying a lot

invest in a skin care routine and get a good razor! i like dollar shave club and i have a promo code if u want, I like it bc I don't have to worry abt going out and buying razors, but I also use double edge safety razors bc you can get a pack of 100 blades for 8 bucks, the downside is that they're the razors associated with self harm + there is a small learning curve to shave with them. don't buy them if you don't feel safe with those in your house

you will start sweating more. take more showers

take pictures often to compare and figure out your progress

you don't have to do intramuscular injections! I cannot stress this enough! it's the default way Testosterone Cypionate is prescribed, but it is also useable subq in that form, it's just technically a quicker process if you do it IM. you CAN use 25 gauge/insulin needles to do your injection in fatty places like your tummy. it hurts less, is less intimidating to stab yourself with the smaller needle, and for me, I've always found I'm infinitely less sore. it does take longer to inject but the difference in needle size makes it still so much more pleasant

sorry that was so long! if anyone else has anything to add, feel free to do so, and also good luck!

#useful #lgbtia

[demigender-positivity]

Pride! Show your pride! It’s signed with a thumb starting at mid belly then moving up to top of chest. It’s the same sign for proud too. Be sure to check my page for other LGBT signs!

And guess what? You can buy this in art prints, shirts stickers, mugs, notebook, etc! Just go to carodoodles.threadless.com . Have fun shopping!

[Image description: A poc is signing pride with thumb up handshape, thumb touching mid belly and moving up to top of chest. That person is wearing rainbow colour. Next three images are the same illustration on a iphone, a zipped pouch bag, and a shirt.]

#lgbtia #pride #art #support lgbtia artists! #lgbtia pride #lgbt #deaf #American Sign Language #lgbtqia #queer #deaftalent

[demigender-positivity]

So many of yall havent ever been to a public lgbtqa space and/or support group and only base your politics about gender and sexuality from tumblr posts instead of also reading academic texts or books on the topic and it fucking shows .

#!! #important #lgbtia #lgbt

[demigender-positivity]

i mcfreakin adore you ( i had to write this 3 times so u know i love u lots)

#asks #ask #answered #mod matthew