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diary-of-a-mom · 2 years

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Ariana as a Bullworth Academy student

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diary-of-a-mom · 3 years

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Rainbow🌈

It's been 2 weeks since the day I found out I was having a miscarriage. I was almost 6 weeks pregnant and I was excited as hell. Brandon and I have been trying for a few months to get pregnant. June 12 is when I had a first positive test, I had another the next morning. Brandon warned me not to tell anyone. For some odd reason Brandon always gets these feelings and they end up right every single time. He told me a week after I was bleeding that he had a bad feeling about the baby but didn't say anything.

It was on a Sunday, the day I was going to have brunch with my bridal group when I woke up bleeding. I broke down crying in the bathroom and called my doctor. He knew what it was and so did I. I still went to the brunch as I tried to fake my happiness about my upcoming events but I was still devastated so I had Brandon & chloe go along with me.

It doesn't matter if it's 6 weeks or 6 months, I was heartbroken. Yesterday as of July 12, 2021 it would've been my first ultrasound appointment. I'm still heartbroken. We still have names picked out but I wish I could've met you, angel baby. I've never been to church but I've been wanting more & more to let God in and help. I understand he needed my angel more than me right now. I pray I get to see them again soon. I love you, babe.

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diary-of-a-mom · 3 years

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Teething

I didn't realize how much of a pain in the ass teething would be. I feel so bad all the time because she's been fussy but I love that she gets to eat more. I don't look forward to the random wake ups in the middle of the night... but then I get to bring her to the bed and cuddle her while she sleeps on my hubby's side. The nights she falls asleep on me, holding me while I carry her to her crib are my favorite. She's almost 10 months old and I know she won't always fall asleep on me.

The brightside of her teething, soon she'll be able to convince the hubs to get chicken nuggies! Haha. She loves burgers, spaghetti, eggs, and absolutely loves chocolate milk. A few weeks ago while coming around the corner of my house, I actually found her eating cookies in her scooter. A half eaten chocolate chip cookie in her hand. So she's definitely my child but soon, we'll be getting happy meals aka chicken nuggies in daddy's truck and probably end up with bags of unnecessary shit. I can't wait....but please stop growing up, babe..

#mom life #ariana grande header #aj lee #wedding #marriage #babies #teething #help lmao #moms #kids #family #husband #wife #children #wandavision #hubby x wife

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diary-of-a-mom · 3 years

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A few important rules to teach your daughter:

1. Make your bed every day, even if it’s right before you get in it.

2. Don’t wear holey underwear… in case you’re in an accident and they cut your clothes off.

3. Travel light through life. Keep only what you need.

4. It’s okay to cry when you’re hurt. It’s also okay to smash (some) things; but, wash your face, clean your mess, and get up off the floor when you’re done. You don’t belong down there.

5. If you’re going to curse, be clever. If you’re going to curse in public, know your audience.

6. Seek out the people and places that resonate with your soul.

7. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

8. 5-second rule. It’s just dirt. There are worse things in a fast food cheeseburger.

9. You are a woman, you do not NEED a man!

10. Happiness is not a permanent state. Wholeness is. Don’t confuse these.

11. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack your bag.

12. Never walk through an alley.

13. Be less sugar, more spice, and only as nice as you’re able to without compromising yourself.

14. Can’t is a cop-out.

15. Hold your heroes to a high standard. Be your own hero.

16. If you can’t smile with your eyes, don’t smile. Insincerity is nothing to aspire to.

17. Never lie to yourself.

18. Your body, your rules.

19. If you have an opinion, you better know why.

20. Practice your passions.

21. Ask for what you want. The worst thing they can say is no.

22. Wish on stars and dandelions, then get to work to make them happen.

23. Stay as sweet as you are.

24. Fall in love often. Particularly with ideas, art, music, literature, food and far-off places.

25. Fall hard and forever in love with nothing but yourself.

26. Say Please, Thank You, and Pardon Me, whenever the situation warrants it.

27. Reserve “I’m sorry” for when you truly are.

28. Naps are for grown-ups, too.

29. Question everything, except your own intuition.

30. You have enough. You are enough.

31. You are amazing! Don’t let anyone ever make you feel you are not. If someone does….walk away. You deserve better.

32. No matter where you are, you can always come home.

33. Be happy and remember your roots, family is EVERYTHING.

34. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

35. No one will ever love you more than I do.

36. Be kind; treat others how you would like them to treat you.

37. If in doubt, remember whose daughter you are and straighten your crown.

#mom life #daughters #mommyandme #moms #mom #daughter #girl #women #important #the sims aesthetic #the sims #ariana grande header #saraya jade bevis #aj lee #wedding #marriage #momlife #hannah montana

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diary-of-a-mom · 3 years

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Getting things off my chest

I have some things to get off my chest and I'm not talking about titties. I found out I was pregnant September 11, 2019. On my birthday of that year, my sister texted me to tell me she wanted nothing to do or hear about my baby. Yep, she legit texted that to me on my birthday and my fiancé was pissed as well. We were all going to a birthday dinner and she never spoken a word to me. To this day I am still pissed about it— we both are.

Baby shower planning was a dumpster fire as well. I've asked my mom multiple times to meet for lunch to help plan with me, my best friend, his mom & sister. Always said no. My sister lives 2 hours away from me. My mom had the audacity to tell EVERYONE that I didn't ask for help and that she was "heartbroken". I have multiple people to defend my side that I've asked so many times. The moment I ask for addresses to send invitations to, she assumed I had to invite aunts & family members I haven't spoken to in 6+ years and then literally got mad when I said no. I had to give my phone to fiancé so he could argue with her stupidity and control so many times. I tried to be stress free while pregnant. I didn't speak to either of them except my dad. My mom likes to drink a bit too much. So naturally at her local bar/club she told her friends that everything was our fault. Our fault I didn't go maternity clothes shopping or planning. Yep.

Ah, the fun has only started. I'm 8 months postpartum and drama is still happening. My sister has only seen my daughter in person maybe 5 times. My parents visit once a week since having my daughter. Once a week. My grandparents on my father's side started that but I put a hold that when my grandfather disrespected my house by telling me it was dirty and hated hearing my daughter cry and as well as hating my dogs. I still refuse to let them visit and it "hurts" my parents that I won't be disrespected. Family or not, I will not be disrespected and taken as joke. We usually let my fiancé's mom watch our daughter since she's the closest and my mom is pissed. She once again told everyone at her club that we never let them watch their grandchild. So some "friend" disrespected me behind my back. My fiancé has showed everyone the messages I was sent to his co workers and everyone. His 2 co workers know my family. One from their club as the owner and the other is a close friend of my fiancé who we consider a brother.

It's January 2021 and I've been wanting to change my phone number and not tell my family. I used to be so close to my mom & dad but now I feel like they're pushing me away. But according to my mom, I'm the bad guy. If it came down to choosing between my family and the family I've created, there's no doubt I'd choose the one I created. I love my fiancé and daughter. I'd take a damn bullet for my daughter. I had to officially take my mom off my Facebook. Always posting about politics and then bitch when I post memes.

I've asked my sister to be my maid of honor but I want to take her out of that position. I'm still gutted at what she said to me and everything going on still. I told my mom about it and she was pissed at me because I already asked her and according to her, I can't change anything. She's already told me I have to invite a few family members we don't talk to. It has begun part 2. Sorry for airing out my shit. I just needed to vent and get things off my chest. If anyone actually read this, thanks. You're pretty cool.

#mom blog #venting #wedding #baby shower #mom life #family #drama #diary-of-a-mom #send help

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diary-of-a-mom · 3 years

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BIG GIRL STATUS

It's official, we packed up her carseat to give her the big girl one. She's 8 months on Tuesday and I'm going to probably cry on her first birthday. I've always wanted a daughter but can she please stop growing?! My little chunky monkey is officially going into her big girl carseat. We're easing her into food more as well. I'm not sure when she decided she was growing because momma is not ready. Chloe is my first baby. I might be overreacting just a bit but I miss the tiny jammies and cuddles. Pretty soon she isn't going to want to nap on mommy and watch Pooh as she drinks a bottle before bed. Pretty soon she'll be a mini deer slayer as she hunts with daddy. I love the baby/infant phase. Toddler phase? I can't wait to see her be a little crazy ass running around the house and chasing the animals. But I'm totally okay with waiting for it, I'll take tiny snuggles and kisses from my 8 month old.

#mom life #the sims #ariana grande header #saraya jade bevis #aj lee #wedding #marriage #hannah montana #momlife #jon moxley #moms #mom blog #babies #infants #toddlers #please stop growing thanks

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diary-of-a-mom · 3 years

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Wedding Planning

Trying to plan a wedding that's happening in the fall of THIS year is kinda hectic. I mean, most of the major things are done of course like the venue, photographer and DJ. Buttt trying to balance being a mom, cleaning and making sure my mental health is good all while planning a wedding and a first birthday takes a toll on me. I barely have time to brush my hair let alone wedding plan/finish planning. We basically just need decorations and a caterer. But since I'm the only one doing anything, it's hard. My side of the family never leave the house. Ever with COVID. Yep, none of them helped with my babyshower but I was forced to cancel due to my mom which I'm still bitter about today. Unfortunately, I'll probably have to ask my in-laws to help again. Which I don't mind. I absolutely love his family so much. I wouldn't have gotten anything done with a babyshower or help at home after the baby. My sister lives almost 2 hours away and my parents live 40 minutes away. Granted they're paying for everything but I doubt they'll go shopping for decorations with me.

I have a bad feeling that my mom is going to try to control how I do things and who we invite. We got in a huge fight because I didn't want to invite family members I don't speak to to my baby shower. (The fuck?) Now she already wants me to invite aunts I don't speak to already to my wedding. My fiancé does SO MUCH for me. Like a shit ton. He's been through all my family drama and I know he's kept his mouth shut but for some reason I can't wait to see him open it. I've always been close to my family but ever since getting pregnant, things have went down hill. Wish me and my fiancé good luck. (haha).

#mom life #wedding #wedding stuff #planning #marriage #ariana grande header #moms #the sims #saraya jade bevis #aj lee #hannah montana #momlife #jon moxley #mom blog #new mom

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diary-of-a-mom · 3 years

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Mental Health & how I cope with it

There is so much shit going on in this world. Everyone...ok almost everyone is addicted to social media and holy fuck people are dicks. No matter your opinion on something or different view, people will be dicks. I'm addicted to Twitter & Facebook and there's constantly shitty things that you see and it fucks with me mentally. I get overwhelmed by the news so I unfollowed and don't watch any of it. My anxiety is constantly at a high since getting pregnant (which is a fun story about the anxiety for another time.)

I am a stay at home mom which means it can get lonely or "boring" being home. I've always been the homebody type but since having my daughter during a pandemic, I just want to leave my house for an hour just to breathe. I'm a mom and I get anxiety over dumb shit. Those dirty dishes, dirty laundry, my daughter crying because she always wants me, stomping her feet all night so I get no sleep, the dirty house, dogs, cats, husband. I feel overwhelmed looking at the hot ass mess but things seems to feel better when I'm holding my daughter or playing with her. Cuddling my husband after work. My cat snuggled next to me in bed with my dogs. I cope with my overwhelming anxiety by getting a "free day" as my fiancé calls it. A day I get to play Sims and drink hot tea without a fuck to give. I get one day a week and honestly it helps.

Today I deleted Facebook & Twitter apps off my phone. After seeing everything going on with the news I couldn't handle it. I almost started crying after seeing the news, terrified of what could happen. My daughter is 8 months old and I fear for the world I'm bringing her into. I pray her life isn't a mess and she becomes her own white knight. I think a social media break would be great for everyone. Remember the time before Facebook? I think about that a lot. Everyone is on their phones. Granted, my phone is usually in my child's mouth while CocoMelon is playing on it. (I know, I know. She's weird.) I'm feeling I'm getting off topic. I cope with my anxiety the best I can. I watch wrestling, cuddle my daughter, go for a drive, play Sims and drink tea. The one day a week I get helps relax my brain even though nap & bedtime i still get snuggled up and I love it every night...during the week because she only wants daddy during weekend.

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diary-of-a-mom · 3 years

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Let me introduce myself.

My name is Jennifer and I'm a mom. (Obviously. I mean why else would my blog have that name.) I'm currently 25 years old and happily engaged to my best friend...second best friend. We have a beautiful daughter who will 8 months coming up and we have 2 dogs & a cat.

I met my fiancé, Brandon, six years ago and fell in love since. Okay, okay. He was drunk at a bar and couldn't keep his eyes off of me. Naturally, I let him take me home. Literally my home so he could go hunting. He's a big hunter and a country..scratch that a redneck but hot. He had a Diesel 2500 Cummins when we met and he had guns in the back seat and fishing things scattered around his truck. He was sweet though. I mean he actually asked permission to date me. I just turned 18 and he was 24.

We been through ups & downs. I've been unable to keep a public job with my high anxiety (it sucks fucking dick.) And I've had thyroid cancer..cancer free by the way and he's been diagnosed as diabetic and then COVID-19 hits and his hours are cut short before our baby was due.

I've been big on mental health for a few years now. I've always had panic attacks and was never diagnosed until I was 18. I'm socially awkward and the public freaks me out, but mainly because I watch a lot of conspiracy & shit I probably shouldn't. I've been to therapy and I've wrote in journals but nothing compares to my daughter.

I love my daughter and I don't know how I'd survive 2020 or in general without her. I couldn't survive without Brandon either, he's been there during my panic attacks, my sad/depression days and my good days. I'm thankful & blessed to have them both in my life. He gets me. He knows when I'm having anxiety or having a "sick" day. He knows to make my favorite – hot tea. Once a week he gives me a day to myself, he'll watch Chloe while I have a day to play Sims and relax myself.

I love animals. You're probably thinking how I could love such adorable things while my soon to be husband kills them. I didn't always support it buttt he brings meat to the table. A girls gotta eat, okay? I hate when there's a fucking deer hanging in my garage and my husband casually going to town. Nope. Not for me. I go out maybe once a year to "hunt" and by that I mean we sit in a tree stand and I don't tell him if I see a cute squirrel. I just enjoy being there even though I'm usually out of breathe walking up a giant hill and can't just pee off a tree stand. I'll gladly eat whatever he brings home but I will pass seeing a poor animal laying in his truck bed or garage. I legit do not tell him if I see a squirrel or chipmunk while sitting in a tree stand because I always feel bad. I'm the person who will swerve instead of hitting a bird. A fucking bird.

I feel like I got off topic maybe? I don't know. Maybe I had too long of an introduction and you're probably afraid. Eh, you'll be fine. Welcome to my world/ blog.

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