diceofthedragon

[diceofthedragon]

The Legend of Vox Machina is a deeply philosophical show that asks important questions such as: “what if the Grand Duchess Anastasia Romanov had a gun?”

#oh fuck he really is anastasia isnt he #cr1

[diceofthedragon]

Y'all think the fantasy high universe has fantasy tumblr lol

(inspired by @orions-garden who had this idea first !)

🐀 stealthcheck reblogged steelwindstrike

⚡ steelwindstrike Follow

you guys remember that trend from last spring where everyone was posting these random videos and pictures of and saying there was a tabaxi woman in there LMAO What the fuck was that 😂 it was like a worse version of The Gown thing from years ago

⚡ steelwindstrike

#LMAOOOO I FORGOT ABOUT THAT #wasnt that a marketing scheme for that one teen band #im pretty sure it was

LMAO WAS IT? i wouldnt be surprised LOL

🐴 princessthehorse Follow

THERE WAS LITERALLY A TABAXI IN ALL OF THOSE VIDEOS. THEY WERE LIKE REALLY SCARY VIDEOS. WHAT WAS EVERYONE ON ABOUT. WHAT FERNS WERE Y'ALL FUCKING ON

🔮 conjurdivination Follow

OP, I understand your confusion but that was very much a real event! Turns out that tabaxi was the Shadow Cat, the familiar of the Nightmare King who was actually an ancient goddess of Sylvaire who was transubstantiated into a disease. She could only be seen by people who had her disease, which was transmitted through various bodily fluids. The Court of Stars has also been putting out statements lately saying that they and other members of the Fallinel government worked with the Shadow Cat, but had nothing to do with her plot of trying to bring back the Nightmare King, since she apparently worked with them as well.

⚡ steelwindstrike

⚡ steelwindstrike

Was it still those fucking kids who did all that though

🐀 stealthcheck

it was those fucking kids

73,127 notes

🦇 nightmarekwing reblogged powerofsol

🦇 nightmarekwing

was just waiting for a meeting with my banker and i watch two teenagers show up and one puts a gun to his head and the other grabs his balls. I'm so done with adventurers bro, how the fuck do people allow this shit

🦇 nightmarekwing

One of the teenagers is the archdevil of the bottomless pit. i swear to god i'm gonna die and even Hell is gonna be a piece of shit because of adventurers

☀️ powerofsol Follow

Did you not do anything to try and help your banker?????

🦇 nightmarekwing

no why would i help a banker

11,928 notes

🧚‍♀️ tiredaasimar

I have insider information on the Central Solesian Area Polycule

5,872 notes

🔍 detectiveagent5353 reblogged alwayshappyhour

❤️ 123fantasydestiel Follow

I cannot BELIEVE that there are FELLOW STUDENTS here at Aguefort who are SERIOUSLY considering voting for Kristen Applebees for class president. Are you out of your mind? Kipperlilly Copperkettle is actually trying to campaign to make the school better for all of us when we've all seen firsthand how messed up everything is. She's actually trying to make it fair for us students, and what does Kristen want to do? Nothing! She has literally ZERO campaign promises that mean ANYTHING for the school and the only things she talks about are steelworkers of all things and a thing NOBODY knows. NOBODY KNOWS WHAT FETTY WAP IS! I looked it up and looked through every book in the library! THOSE WORDS HAVE NEVER BEEN SAID BEFORE! NEVER!

All I'm saying is if this school starts to go downhill because you all thought it was funnier to vote for the cleric who killed her god TWICE than the regular student who's ACTUALLY trying to make the school better, you all better realize that it's your fault.

🌃 alwayshappyhour

sounds like someone's salty they can't do a shrimp jump

🔍 detectiveagent5353

256.927.723.142

1,283 notes

🐗 recklessattakk

my hungry ass could never be a cleric

3,992 notes

boggyandmoggy reblogged thistleficer

🐦 infernobirds Follow

reblog to cast healing word on the person you rbed this from

23,828 notes

burntownsgetvans reblogged falloutboimaniac

🐉 burntownsgetvans

does anyone know what's going on with fig and the cig figs? i've been waiting for their new album for a while but their social media account has been radio silent, like fig and gorgug are still posting on their personal accounts but nothing about the band :(. they said a new album would be coming out soon last april, i'm just kind of sad and confused i guess

🌹falloutboimaniac Follow

that's really rough man yeah. i don't know what's going on with them either, but i hope they'll end up releasing something soon for you. but if you wanna listen to something that's like fig and the cig figs, maybe you'd like my clerical gnomance? they've been a total breakout hit all over the radio where i'm from lately and they are sooo good lol

🐉 burntownsgetvans

well, okay, i'll give it a shot i guess, thanks for the recommendation :)

🐉 burntownsgetvans

@fallouboimaniac Listen up chucklefuck go FUCK yourself. I'm so fucking TIRED of people like you who are always trying to replace the cig figs and discredit their success and for WHAT reason? I'm so done, I'm so fucking done, I don't wanna FUCKING HEAR IT AND YOU'VE PISSED ME THE FUCK OFF. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND LISTEN TO YOUR OWN SHITTY MUSIC? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST FUCKING Ddid anyone see that red thing just now

823 notes

🌸 greatgnomishbaker

she kalvaxus on my emperor until i red waste

2,801 notes

lycanstropy reblogged 123fantasydestiel

🧑 123fantasydestiel Follow

Getting really annoyed by all the posts going around joking about Kalvaxus and the Nightmare King. Both of them were EXTREMELY serious and REAL entities that caused SO much destruction in the very real world, and unless you were harmed by them you should NOT be joking about them like that, that is SO gross. My great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great cousin four times removed was KILLED by Kalvaxus and it is so shitty to have to open the dashboard every day to see posts like this.

🕷️ minceraftshreeper Follow

sure but kalvaxus has literally been dead for like 2 years or something 😭. like the fact that those kids killed kalvaxus very much did make national and probably international news did you somehow miss that. and the guy was a total clown be fr it'd be crazy not to joke about him

🧑 123fantasydestiel

Did you not read my entire post? I don't care if you think Kalvaxus was a "clown" or not or that he's already dead, HE KILLED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE!!!!! You cannot be making posts JOKING About him like that!!!!!!!!!!

🐈 lycanstropy

I went on a field trip to Hell in my warlock class the other day and a bunch of pirates turned Kalvaxus into a ship and tattooed his ass

9,378 notes

🦆 rayofdownwiththesickness

I fucking hate public school dude a plane almost crashed into my house at midnight and turns out it's because of a fucking club at the school and then i GO to school and i can barely even get into my bard class because everyone's lining up around that fucking pirate's kid and the principal is a fucking kid because this school is such a wreck. And can anyone please tell me why the same kid is now in every single club i am also in???? every time i make eye contact with him in one of my clubs he runs away. didn't he and the pirate kid and their party kill like 6 staff members?????????? AND WHY IS THERE A COP IN THE HALLWAYS??????????????????????

54 notes

🦆 rayofdownwiththesickness reblogged rayofdownwiththesickness

🕷️ minceraftshreeper Follow

Imagine complaining about students killing people when you literally go to an adventuring school 😂

🦆 rayofdownwiththesickness

i'd rather you say it to my face than vague me on the dashboard you know

🦆 rayofdownwiththesickness

I have been hexblade cursed

774 notes

👨‍💻 12345fantasydestiel

Has Aguefort collectively forgotten about the fact that a giant spider appeared on campus a few months ago and started terrorizing people? I'm starting to understand why so many people think so negatively of Aguefort now. I was literally there and watched it happen and then no one seemed to bring it up ever again. No teachers decided to address it or anything. We're lucky it didn't kill anyone, and, actually, now I'm remembering, wasn't Kristen Applebees there? I swear to Galicaea she was there. Is that why nothing came of it, cause her party has like 4 parents on the school staff? This place is a joke.

11 notes

infaetheable reblogged alwayshappyhour

🌃 alwayshappyhour

she nightmare on my king until i cassandra

1,287 notes

infaetheable reblogged alwayshappyhour

🌃 alwayshappyhour

she nightmare on my king until i cassandra

1,287 notes

infaetheable reblogged alwayshappyhour

🌃 alwayshappyhour

she nightmare on my king until i cassandra

1,287 notes

infaetheable reblogged alwayshappyhour

🌃 alwayshappyhour

she nightmare on my king until i cassandra

1,287 notes

[diceofthedragon]

Elf TV: exclusively 300 season-long soap operas

Dwarf TV: How It's Mined followed by a 4½ hr documentary about salt

Gnome TV: those sensory videos for cats where bugs and mice and birds crawl around on the screen. they really like this

Orc TV: Mythbusters and Top Gear reruns

Halfling TV: the most incredible impassioned storytelling you've ever witnessed always neatly contained in 2 seasons max

Fairy TV: imagine Impractical Jokers except theyre capable of stealing people's faces . this is the only show that fairies have

[diceofthedragon]

CR wiki list of canonically LGBTQ+ characters my beloved

#!!! i created this page!!!!! #i’m so happy people like it <333

[diceofthedragon]

fantasy characters: “Geez”

me: who the fuck spread Christianity there

[diceofthedragon]

Hi everyone, We will be in Japan visiting our family and friends next month. 😊. Our shop will be closed from October 5th to November 2nd. We still have few days to order. These sets and also single D20s are available ready to be shipped out 😊 Have a wonderful weekend everyone❣️

Shop Etsy

#dice

[diceofthedragon]

we all have that one homie who volunteers to take first watch that they might contemplate the heavens in solitude

[diceofthedragon]

Scenes from The Mighty Nein: Echoes of the Solstice

📸: John Williams Photography

#GENDER

[diceofthedragon]

Listen to me. Hey hey! Listen to me! You paid 60 United States Dollars for Baldur’s Gate 3 regardless if that was a month or three years ago. If you want to reload a save every time you fail a perception check or roll a naty one. Do it. If you want to meta-game and save Alfira as the Dark Urge. Do it. If you want the mod that removes the inspiration cap. Get it. If you want to bump down your difficulty during a hard fight. Do it. If you want a drow with red hair. Do it.

I’m giving you permission right now to do whatever you want with the game regardless of rules others are putting in place for you to follow. They’re your Tav and it’s your story - have fun with it

#this but also LMAO a drow w red hair would be so funny #obv you can make it natural if your heart so desires but rn i’m imaging a drow dyeing their hair red to be rebellious and then just. #never changing it #‘ITS NOT A PHASE MOM’

[diceofthedragon]

#BLESS YOU DANI #cr2 #shadowgast

[diceofthedragon]

I might've added the BG3 Art Book to my dnd assets stash

It's got stuff like the 5e players' handbook, the dm's guide, critical role's explorer's guide to wildmount, baldur's gate and waterdeep city encounters, 101 potions and their effects, volo's guide to monsters, both of Xanathar's guides, a bunch of other encounters, one shots, class builds, and other fun stuff!!

[diceofthedragon]

AO3 Femslash Top 100: Round 3

#BEAUYASHA SWEEP

[diceofthedragon]

if essek shows up i will become the most annoying person alive. if he does not show up i will become the most annoying person alive. currently i’m also the most annoying person alive because shrodingers essek is damaging me psionically as we speak.

[diceofthedragon]

cool vex'ahlia facts

general:

-regularly talks to and gathers information from relevant npcs

-is constantly on the lookout for traps or enemies whenever the party is traveling, and routinely guides them particularly when they're in her favored terrains

-regularly casts pass without a trace on the party to make stealth challenges trivial

-makes sure that the staff at greyskull keep are well-paid and frequently gives them bonuses and raises (to the point that even jarrett once told her that her generosity was respected but unnecessary)

specific:

-buys everyone winter clothes to keep them warm in vasselheim

-makes a shot to get them out of a trap in vasselheim with a roll of 35

-keeps the group grounded and balanced in whitestone, keeping them from going to either keyleth's noble or scanlan's violent extreme

-goes out of her way to research the raven queen to help vax feel better when she's the one who died

-comes up with the trench trap that takes out members of the goliath herd so the rest of the party can get into westruun

-releases grog from the raven's slumber necklace at just the right moment for him to deliver the killing blow against kevdak, saving all of their lives, and rolls a NAT TWENTY to intimidate the herd into bending the knee

-gives up 500 gold for a resurrection ritual for a child who was killed as collateral damage

-works out strategies with zanror for how to fight umbrasyl

-does almost 100 points of damage by herself on the first attack round against umbrasyl

-firmly says that most of umbrasyl’s hoard should go to the people of westruun and actively prevents grog and scanlan from taking more

-tells amelia about reginald's death and supports grog's gift of 400 gold to her

-comes up with a plan to get them across the gilded run to get to the shademurk bog

-gives pike and scanlan the broom so they won't get stuck in the boggy terrain

-leads negotiations with tooma and the other dragonborn to form an alliance against vorugal, and graciously apologizes when it turns out VM made a grievous and insulting mistake

-suggests pitting yenk the goristro against vorugal so they can more effectively take out a dragon and get a vestige in one fell swoop

-lands the killing blow on vorugal

-ensures that they don’t take too much from vorugal's hoard and asks tooma for permission first

-spends 15,000 gold to free two aasimar boys from slavery in the city of brass

-does almost 100 points of damage by herself in one round again, this time against thordak

-destroys thordak's soul gem, reducing his power significantly

-puts her mind and soul at risk to learn more information about opash and what raishan was trying to do on the island

-picks a lock in a goddess's library that was meant to be nearly impossible

-gives scanlan vital aid in his challenge with ioun

-indignantly stands up for scanlan against a dockmaster's prejudice

-persuades a man out of kowtowing to vecna

-comes up with a plan to get inside the earth titan's body even though she's scared half to death of what's to come

-lands the killing blow on anna ripley, delilah briarwood, and sylas briarwood, effectively completing the list that percy could not

-only worships gods with big dicks

i'll have to amend that one name, though, just to be fair. it's lady vex'ahlia, baroness of the first house of whitestone, grand mistress of the grey hunt, coinmistress of the council of tal'dorei, and leader of vox machina

#my love my light my lady vexahlia #cr1

[diceofthedragon]

Could Mollymauk Tealeaf kill Macbeth? I'm really curious if the Unconventional Birth Clause applies to him.

Yes, Mollymauk Tealeaf from Critical Role's Campaign 2: The Mighty Nein could kill Macbeth!

Mollymauk was created from the piece of Lucien's soul that remained in his body after he died. Mollymauk has no memories of his life as Lucien, and considers the moment he woke up to be the moment of his creation; even when the truth about Lucien and Mollymauk's connection was revealed, Mollymauk still identified as a separate person from Lucien. This all qualifies Mollymauk for the Unconventional Birth Clause, and the Birth Parent Clause if we consider Lucien to fit that role.

Thank you for your submission!

[diceofthedragon]

Rations for various RPG Races

[[ Source. Original creator: wats6831. Additional information and images linked under each one. ]]

Universal:

Homemade artisan herb bread, home grown and dried apples and prunes, uncured beef sausage, munster cheese. Made a small bag from cheesecloth and tied it closed.

Discussion thread here.

Dwarf:

Garlic chicken livers, smoked and peppered cheese, spiced pork sausages, hard tack, dried vegetables, dried wild mushrooms.

Discussion thread here.

Elf:

Top left to right: Evereskan Honey Comb, Elven Travel Bread (Amaretto Liquer Cake with custom swirls), Lurien Spring Cheese (goat cheese with garlic, salt, spices and shallots), Delimbyr Vale Smoked Silverfin (Salmon), Honey Spiced Lichen (Kale Chips), and Silverwood Pine Nuts.

Discussion thread here.

Halfling:

From upper left: “Honeytack” Hard tack honey cakes, beef sausage, pork sausage mini links, mini whole wheat toast, cranberry cheddar cheese mini wedge, mini pickles, pumpkin and sunflower seeds, lower right is my homemade “travel cake” muesli with raisins, golden prunes, honey, eggs and cream.

Discussion thread here.

Half-Orc:

Wrapped in cheesecloth and tied in burlap package. Forest strider drumsticks, molasses sweet wheat bread “black strap”, aged Munster, hard boiled eggs, mixed wild nuts.

Discussion thread here.

Orc:

Orcs aren’t known for their great cuisine. Orcs prefer foods that are readily available (whatever can be had by raiding), and portable with little preparation, though they have a few racial delicacies. Toughs strips of lean meat, bones scavenged from recent kills, and dark coarse bread make up the bulk of common orc rations.Fire roasted rothe femur (marrow is a rare treat) [beef femur], Strips of dried meat (of unknown origin) [homemade goose jerky], foraged nuts, only edible by orcs….nut cracker tusks [brazil nuts], coarse black bread, made with whatever grains can be pillaged [black sesame bread], Pungent peppers [Habanero peppers stuffed with smoked fish and olives].

More images here. Discussion thread here.

Gnome:

Pan fried Delimbyr smelt, spiced goat cheese (paprika crusted hand pressed Fontina), Gnome shortbread (savory pistachio), glass travel jar filled with Secomber Red (wine), hard boiled quail eggs packed in rolled oats (to keep safe), dried figs from Calimshan, and Southwood smoked goat sausage (blood sausage).

More images here. Discussion thread here.

Lizardfolk:

Lizardfolk are known to be omnivores, forage for a surprising variety of foods found within the confines of their marshy environs, in this case the Lizard Marsh near Daggerford. Fresh caught boiled Delimbyr Crayfish on wild chives, coastal carrageen moss entrapping estuary brine shrimp (irish moss, dried brine shrimp), Brackish-Berries (blackberries), Blackened Dart-Frog legs (frog legs) on spring sprouts (clover sprouts), roasted bog bugs on a stick!

More images here. Discussion thread here.

Drow:

From top left: Menzoberranzan black truffle rothe cheese (Black Knight Tilsit), Donigarten Moss Snails (Escargot in shallot butter sauce), Blind cave fish caviar in mushroom caps (Lumpfish caviar), faerzress infused duck egg imported from the surface Realms (Century egg), Black velvet ear fungus (Auricularia Black Fungus Mushroom).

More images here. Discussion thread here.

[diceofthedragon]

the reason critical role is so good is because every campaign features at least one cast member creating a character that they intend to be doomed by the narrative and matt and the rest of the cast going don’t be an idiot, Our Love Will Undoom Them. like in the explanation of percy’s final playlist, taliesin wrote, “Cheers to a happy ending for a character intended by his creator to be karmically irredeemable. May we all be so fortunate.” and just, Yeah.