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diego-hargreeve2 · 5 years
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The Hargreeves as out of context quotes from when I tried to make falafels
Luther: Oh please, how hard can it be? *15 minutes later* God is dead, the house is on fire, and my falafels have turned into mush
Diego: I’m going to make an army out of falafels and they will march to victory and leave no survivors
Allison: This is my child now. His name is George.
Klaus: I’ve become emotionally attached to this falafel [Five: who’s gonna tell him]
Five: *sticking a spoon of uncooked falafel in front of Klaus’s face* Eat your veggies
Ben: How are the children? [Dead] Oh just like me then
Vanya: These are falling apart just like my life and self confidence
Bonus:
Grace: I should open a falafel restaurant
Reginald: *spills garbanzo juice* This is why I don’t want kids
Pogo: Enjoy motherfuckers
#XD
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diego-hargreeve2 · 5 years
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soft tua HCs
- Every time Luther found one of his siblings passed out in random places around the house, he would pick them up and carry them back to their beds before Reggie noticed. None of them mention anything about it.
- Vanya would help Grace patch up her siblings after missions. When Klaus broke his jaw that one time, she snuck him extra juice pouches. 
- Diego felt bad that Grace didn’t have a birthday, so he chose a day for her. Ben helped to celebrate by hanging up all the pictures she liked in front of her charging station (‘cause Diego couldn’t reach that high).
- Five often suffered from intense headaches, so Pogo would keep watch over him as he took small breaks in the freezer. Apparently the cold air helped.
- Allison teaching Klaus to use make-up? That’s basically canon at this point.
- Luther, Allison, Ben, and Diego let Klaus sleep with them when he was younger because he was afraid of the dark. After Reggie caught him doing it, it was Five’s idea for them to pitch in some chore money to get Klaus fairy lights instead.
- Luther usually spent his chore money on street food, but he saved up for at least a month to get Allison her locket.
- Ben and Allison once secretly nursed a squirrel from the courtyard back to health and set it free again. They kept it in the attic.
- Diego and Luther always duked it OUT when bowling every year on their birthday, but when bowling as a team? An unstoppable force. Legends. They set all the high scores and fist bumped about it.
- (Klaus always cheered them on, usually spilling popcorn all over himself in the process).
- “Diego there’s a loose string on my shirt could you-?” SNIP. “thanks ❤”
- “Diego I locked myself out of my room again…” “UHG”
- Five was a show off but even more so around Vanya to get her to smile.
- Ben was bipolar AF. One day he’d want everyone to let him be so he could read in peace, and the next he’d be all over the place wanting to sneak out and drive fast and don’t stop him nOw he’s having such a goOD time he’s havin a BALL -
- Look at me with a straight face and tell me Allison never pulled the “stop hitting yourself” move on Diego. I dare you.
- Klaus always complained about being cold so Grace got him extra blankets and Allison let him ‘borrow’ some fuzzy socks.
- Despite being called the umbrella academy, those silly fools LOVED playing in the rain
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diego-hargreeve2 · 5 years
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diego-hargreeve2 · 5 years
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“I would say it was Dad who implemented all of this […] my alienation through procedures, through harsh […] all followed for fear of the alternative. And to an ex[tent?] […] true. I can’t forgive what he did to me - but somet[…] where Dad’s actions ended and my siblings’ beg[an] […] consider what a mind, especially a young mind […] harness when put into dire situations, it’s not […] believe that my siblings learned cruelty from […] [ev]entually made it their own. It wasn’t just th[e] […] of top-secret meetings, anymore. It jus[t] […] [wou]ld sit at the end of the table, so Die[go] […]ique, or so Allison could paint Klaus’ […]omed to sulking and watching the […] oatmeal went uneaten and […] 
(p.???)
      Meals became the only time of day […] to be together - and I met them with equal parts […] and dread. Would today be the day I [engaged Allison?] […] stand up to Diego’s taunts? Maybe I’d show Five […] I’d been working on for years.       Though prone to arrogance and […] than the average preteen, Five was my sole confidant years before he [disappeared] […] It almost seemed fitting […] the siblings to leave […] ////////////// Dad’s manipulation […]
[Five’s hand obscures the page.]
      One morning […]   ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// behind, I think I even […] from home following me when […] a bus stop, and I sat there all day long  […] //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////  had thought I was alone my future life […] something new and entirely different. I was afraid of what […] and would [choose Dad’s torment any day?] dark stretched down our street. […] waved the kind drivers away. That night I walked  […] front doors, and no one knew I had ever left to […] I wonder how long it would have […] extra girl they never needed was […] To this day, I’m not sure. The next time […] when we all did. After what happened to […] everyday existence was full of evidence that Dad […] into […] experiments. Not children […]mals. And what  happened to Ben was the […] shattered the illusion for the others. I […] all along what they realized that day. I didn’t […] to leave on my own. It wasn’t until Allison […]ood and Diego [cursed out?] the old man […] were ultimately a broken family. […] that my family would accept me into the fold. I […] [as] long as there was a [club?] to […] to […] notice me and invited me to. Everyone would […]ya, we can’t believe we’ve wasted so much […] you’re our sister after all.       […] it was then that I realized something […]ing for me to aspire to be anymore. It was liberat[ing] […] that I had wanted for as long as I could remember […]y fallen apart. Without The Umbrella Academy […] [fre]edom to be whomever I chose. Suddenly, my violin [was]n’t stupid - it was something that made me special.” 
(p.??-??)
Extracts from Vanya Hargreeves, Extra Ordinary: My Life as Number Seven,[TUA 1X05]
Things to conclude from this extract:
Reginald Hargreeves was an A-grade Bad Dad, whose iron fisted rule ensured the children internalised Vanya’s exclusion from the ‘club’, and would ostracise her from any social activities from a young age. Vanya attributes this in part to the ‘dire situation’ of their childhood under Reginald’s strict tutelage, but cannot forgive their inability to think for themselves.
Five & Vanya: Five was Vanya’s sole confidant, but despite this, she spent years working on something (perhaps practising her violin?) without sharing it with him or anyone else, for fear of rejection and ridicule. 
Vanya & the others: perhaps felt intimidated by Allison (did not feel confident enough to ‘engage’ her - in conversation? Confrontation?) and was taunted by Diego.  
Vanya ran away: she went so far as to spend all day sitting at a bus stop, wondering if anyone would miss her. However, she lacked the confidence to run away, and returned to the Academy - where no one had noticed she was gone. 
Reginald’s Star Pupil: It’s implied Reginald felt the loss of Five acutely, and trained the other children past even the most tenuous ethical guidelines to compensate for his absence. It was not until Ben died, possibly as a result of these experiments, that the others finally started thinking for themselves. However, even now, they did not realise their treatment of Vanya, and did not welcome her ‘into the fold’.
Diego swore at Reginald, probably until he was blue in the face. 
Something special: Vanya realised her hopes for reconciliation with her siblings were ultimately empty. All those ‘extraordinary’ people in her life were still cruel, even without Reginald’s guiding hand. But for Vanya, it was a moment of epiphany. Where her violin had once been an embarrassment in comparison to the talents of her siblings, it was now something special all its own.   
Something else to consider: Why is this (the part about his own preteen angst and disappearance) the passage Five reads as he considers the error in his calculations? Is it a fixed point in time? Is this the ‘quantum state version’ of himself he projected himself into?  
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diego-hargreeve2 · 5 years
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how many times did Klaus see Allison in the movies, looking so glamourous and confident and remember the girl who covered her room with posters and dreams? how many times did Vanya start playing a piece only to pause her bow because she remembered the melody coming from Luther’s record player? how many times did Ben leave Klaus’s side to check on their siblings? how many times did Five throw a knife and remember Diego doing the same? did they miss being close? did they miss the warmth of family, however forced? did they remember when they splintered away and rebuilt? did they feel any loss at all?
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diego-hargreeve2 · 5 years
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psssst mik.... could i request a make*ut session with diego bc uhhh im touch starved sksk
+ hii your tua imagines are giving me life!! can i get some diego fluff?? 🖤
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Your laugh is loud as Diego tugs you to his chest, and he takes a second to fully cherish this moment.
It’s rare he gets a day to himself, wearing a ratty t-shirt and pajama bottoms, spending it simply with you.
He’s snapped out of his thoughts when you rub at his jaw and stares at you questioningly.
“You’re scruffy.” Your voice is playful, for you knew Diego took care of his body and appearance quite well.
Diego’s own hand goes up, and he shrugs, nuzzling into your neck, making you squirm. 
“Guess I am.” 
“That tickles!” You shriek, falling back on the couch, Diego in pursuit, and you can feel his grin pressed against your skin.
“That’s why I did it.” Diego drawls as he pulls away with a smirk, and you swat his arm before he swoops down and captures your lips in a kiss.
It’s slow, and languid, both of you having nowhere else to be besides in each other’s embrace. 
And there was no place you’d rather be.
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diego-hargreeve2 · 5 years
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Umbrella Academy  
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diego-hargreeve2 · 5 years
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Freakshakes
Diego Hargreeves x Reader Mild Smut Themes | WordCount: 800 AN: Little drabble piece because I love ya’ll. 
“Y/N, what is this place?”
He watched her grin, a smirk in her eyes that made him want to press his lips to hers. Since the first time he had caught her eyes across the bar, Diego had known there was more than met the eye. 
It helped that she saw him. Past all the black, the mask and the knives. Y/N wasn’t frightened by what he did in the night, but she had admitted that she preferred it when he was beside her. Diego had to agree. 
Keep reading
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diego-hargreeve2 · 5 years
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Isn’t it weird that we’re super careful when handling abused animals?
Lets take an abused puppy. Theres thousands of people taking in abused puppies and give them all the love and support they need & slowly teach them that’s okay to trust them.
And abused humans? What, you were abused as a child? Why aren’t you better now? Just drink plenty of water and stop being negative all the time. ~
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diego-hargreeve2 · 5 years
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Diego’s scars sculpted by Kyle Glencross and applied by Trason Fernandes (via Linda Preston’s instagram)
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diego-hargreeve2 · 5 years
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my stabby boi
/redbubble/
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diego-hargreeve2 · 5 years
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diego-hargreeve2 · 5 years
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Ugh can he stop and let me breathe for a minute?
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diego-hargreeve2 · 5 years
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You’re close! They’re sitting so close, did you see?  It’s incredible between them.  
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diego-hargreeve2 · 5 years
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The Smiths - There Is A Light That Never Goes Out
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diego-hargreeve2 · 5 years
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☂️  the umbrella academy:
the hargreeves + sibling moments™ (part 2)
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diego-hargreeve2 · 5 years
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Imagine: Your boyfriend Diego Hargreeves and you are past the honeymoon phase of your relationship so everything is getting comfortable. You come over to the Academy often and have quiet time with him when he’s investigating a case. He tries to make conversation one moment and asks you what’s a word you hate. You tell him your least favourite word. He smiles and asks, “Really?” You say yes and go on a passionate rant about it. He keeps his smile and says that he’s going to say that word from now on. He tries to fit it in every conversation you have that day. He even says it to his siblings and looks over at you to see if you heard it. Alison looks at him all confused and looks around the room if there’s something prompting him to say this word. You tell her to ignore him as Diego and you share a laugh over this. Before you head out and he walks you home, you cuddle on the couch and he says, “Please don’t leave me.” You say that you won’t. He kisses your temple.
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