Tumgik
hi! i just read all of AIA in one sitting, and i just had to say how in love i am. all of the details felt so decadent. the flashbacks that showed their history and friendship were so soft and wonderful and just? like, is it blase to say the word 'goals' because it was just the best backstory and made me so in love, i can only hope for that irl lol. i love your writing, the pacing, and how you really make the reader feel what both the insert & spencer feel! you're truly so gifted!
anyways, just wanted to tell you that! hope you're having a lovely day <3
im going through old asks that i missed while i was away and this is very nearly making me tear up? how dare you this so so kind i don’t even know what to say 🥺
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Just have to say that I absolutely love your writing and when I found your fic I read all of it in one sitting.
I’m so curious about where AIA is going! As I’m also an inspiring fic writer myself, I was wondering if you have any tips or if you could share what your writing process looks like
Okay bye you’re brilliant
- Cat
this is so sweet cat, thank you so much!
im excited to see where it’s going myself lol
i have a relatively loose writing process i think? like i make an outline and then i write one or two drafts if it’s a oneshot. and for the series, ive got one short outline, and then one detailed one, and when I sit down to write a chapter i write it in like bulletpoints with chunks of dialogue, and then i write the second draft (which is usually the final one) and flesh rose bullet points out.
i think working that way helps to make the process never feel quite as daunting as just staring at a blank page, that way you always have something to work from and build off
but if you want more advice (on writing, smut writing, formatting, posting, engagement, etc.) there’s loads on my sideblog. click this link and if you go through the ‘writing advice’ tag there you should find plenty more that should hopefully help 🥰
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So I discovered your stuff about 3 weeks ago and I’ve now read everything on your Masterlist. You are an amazing writer! I LOVE both of your series and I wish they were longer lol. Anyways, just had to let you now how much I love your writing 🙂
you have no idea how happy this message made me!!! my god! im so happy you like my stuff!
honestly i would love to be one of those writers who can write a 20 or 30 part series but i just don’t have it in me, i think 10 is probably more than i can even handle 😖
if you haven’t already checked it out, ive got a side blog (@spenciebabie) with like 80something blurbs and a load of asks/concepts and stuff if you’ve read everything on my main
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I don't even really have a question haha
Just glad to see you back bestie ngl
❄️
glad to be back in some way or another bestie! i missed it here 🥺
i hope you’ve been well ❄️!
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when's ch12 coming?
couldn’t tell ya, hopefully soon, ive got it planned out anyway so its just a matter of finding the time to write in the next week or two
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHFSDKJFSJKLFSJLKFDFDS
DUDE
Ok so first of all, do NOT worry about being gone for a while, you are amazing and I hope your new job is going well??
Also DAMNNNNNNNNNNNN i sense ANGST and also the sex is, as usual, VERY VERY VERY GOOD
to conclude, you are amazing, thank you, mwah <3
aw my angel 👼
thank you so much, im so glad you liked it!!
tbh i was a little worried no one would care about that series anymore 🙈
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send me some asks over on spenciebabie plz 🥺
im feeling like answering some asks tonight 👀
if yall want to send some through during the day ill answer them tonight
they can be about cm/spencer, concepts/thoughts, my other blog/writing, general stuff i guess?
ive just been missing this blog a lot lately and wanted to check in 🥰
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An Inconvenient Affection [Chapter 11]
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Summary: When a couples’ therapist is suspected of murdering his own patients, Y/N and Spencer must go undercover as a feuding married couple to draw him out.
Chapter Summary: The real world begins to creep in
A/N: Sorry that this so unbelievably late, thank you so much for your patience, as always! Love you all ❤️
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Category: Fake Dating, Friends to Lovers, Smut, Fluff, Angst
Warnings: NSFW language, sexual themes, language, mentions of stalking & infidelity, discussions of jealousy and possessive behavior, kissing, fingering, oral (female receiving), angst (sorry)
Word Count: 4.7k
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Something about Dr. Harris’ words sits with him long after the session is over. He knew he loved her, but he did want to show it more. In a way it still didn’t feel real, the two of them being together.
Obviously the team didn’t know yet, and they couldn’t act like a happy couple outside of the confines of the apartment. The apartment that didn’t even belong to them. It all felt so strange when he really let himself dwell on it, lounging back on the sofa almost letting himself get fully lost in his thoughts before pulling himself back.
He was going to show her love, as best as he could within these four walls, so he grabbed his coat and raced out of the apartment in a bid to get some shopping done before all the stores closed for the night.
He’s not entirely sure what he’s hoping to find as he wanders the aisles of their local grocery store. Nothing on the shelves really screams romance, until his eyes land on a bouquet of red roses. They’re not perfect, but what did he expect really. So he grabs a bunch, or three, along with some candles, and some champagne, and he’s back at the apartment with a plan.
He has a bit of time before she gets in from her shift. So he really takes him time, setting everything up perfectly. He feels like a little foolish as he pulls the petals off several roses, scattering them around the bathroom as he waits for the water to heat. He leaves some in the water, others along the floor in a little trail out to the bedroom. He feels even sillier when he throws the remaining handful on their bed.
He tries no to let himself overthink it as he lights the candles he’s got set up around the bath. He’d like to think she’ll find the whole thing sweet, but there’s every chance she’ll find it corny and laughable. He just really hopes that’s not the case.
The bath is just about full with steaming water and frothy bubbles when he hears a key in the door and his legs can barely carry him fast enough. In spite of the probably overwhelming scent of roses that’ll hit her as soon as she opens the door, he still wants it to be a surprise.
“Hi?” is the first thing she says, confusion plain on her features when she comes home just before midnight and he’s waiting by the door, right in the same place he had been when she left him earlier.
“H-hey” he rushes out, trying and failing to contain his excitement, “How was work?”
She narrows her eyes as she looks up at him, suspicious now, “What did you do?” is the first thing she thinks to ask, “Did you break something?” is her follow up when he doesn’t answer right away.
“No! No nothing like that” he shakes his head, “Just— god, come with me” he pulls her with him towards their bedroom, leading her straight past the rose-petal covered bed, into the bathroom.
It’s not how she remembered their little bathroom looking. The candles that litter every surface of the bathroom flicker and glow to create a warm light that bounces off the tiles. The bath itself is full of bubbles and water, and the steam rolling off the top of it just makes it look even more inviting. Not to mention the red petals that float on the surface and coat the ground beneath her feet.
When she turns to him she’s almost welling up, little tears in her eyes threading to spill over at the very gesture.
“Oh, what’s wrong? I—is this okay? You don’t have to if you don’t want to— I —I won’t be offended.” he rushing out reassurance so fast he barely notices her head shake from side to side.
“No” she says through a light laugh, “No, it’s perfect you fool! I love it, I love you.” she smiles looking up at him, and he can see it now as he looks into her eyes, that they’re full of nothing but adoration. She places a light kiss on his lips and he can’t help but smile against her.
“I almost forgot” he mumbles as she pulls back, “I got champagne too. I’ll just go grab it from the kitchen” he says through an excited smile.
When he returns with the bottle and glasses she’s already undressed and stepping into the water. He takes a second to admire her from the doorway, still in complete disbelief that she was really his, that she was choosing to be with him of all people.
He places a glass down beside her as she sits into the warm water, watching as it envelops her and seems to dissolve any tension in her body as she sinks further beneath the surface.
“I’ll just be outside, but let me know if you need anything” he says as he places a kiss on her forehead, but she just looks up at him with an utterly confused expression.
“Wh- you’re not getting in?” she asks, turning her body to face him as he tries to leave the room.
“No, it’s for you. I wanted you to relax” he says with a soft smile. And it makes her heart swell but she still can’t let him away with it.
“You know what would be even more relaxing?” she asks, and he quirks an eyebrow, “If you got in here with me? Please?”
It doesn’t take much convincing to get him into a bath with his naked girlfriend. She gets him to sit with his back propped up against the smooth porcelain and she slots herself in between his legs.
The second he’s got her body pressed up against his chest, with his arms floating around her, he doesn’t feel like any of this was corny anymore. It’s hard not to feel a little soppy and romantic in a setting like this.
“Are you comfy?” she asks, like he could be anything other than perfectly content in the positions he’s in right now.
“More than” he says through a smile.
And they relax just like that, together. Doing nothing but enjoying the warmth of the water, and of each others company. But before the water gets too cold, she wants him to relax properly too.
Of course he had planned this whole thing for her, to help her unwind a little. But it wasn’t lost on her that he had been wound tight since the very beginning of this case. So she swivels around a little so she can look at him.
“Spence?” she asks, “Can we swap places for a bit?”
He looks a little puzzled at first, but he concedes.
She turns her body around and spreads her legs so that he can nestle in-between them, laying himself against her chest. She lets him rest like that for a few minutes before gently scooping up some water in her hands and pouring it over his soft brown curls.
“Hey!” he giggles, “What are you doing?” he asks, trying to crane his neck around without getting any of the water in his eyes. But he just catches sight of her reaching for the shampoo bottle and catches on quickly.
“Lie back” she orders, squeezing a dollop onto her fingertips as she waits for him to comply, “That’s better”
She takes her soapy fingers and begins to massage them into his hair. Taking her time, she digs them into his scalp, drawing them in patterns along the sensitive skin and watching the way Spencers eyes drift solely closed.
“That feels so nice” he breathes out in a sigh, the tension he perpetually carried in his shoulders slowly starting to dissipate as the evening went on.
She grabs the shower head and uses it to rinse out the lather before coaxing him back into her arms to comb the conditioner through his curls. She lets it sit in his hair then, something she’s sure he never does, in spite of how soft his hair usually was.
He can hear her heart beat slowly thumping as he rests his head against her chest once more, his eyes remaining closed so that he can savor all of the other sensations that little bit more.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been this close with anyone” he mumbles out, and he’s more thinking it to himself really, taking notice of just how low his guard has dropped in that moment.
“At least, not like this, this is… I don’t know? I just— I can’t describe it?” he ponders, and he’s almost a little shocked when he feels her giggling against him.
“What’s so funny?” he asks, trying to maneuver his head around so that he can see her joyous little expression.
“I just don’t think I’ve ever seen you speechless before? Spencer Reid, at a loss for words? It’s an honor really.”
He shakes his head as he begins to giggle too, using his palm to flick some of the bath water back towards her with a grin.
“I’m trying to be vulnerable right now and you’re laughing?” he says, with a mock-offended tone, but she just nods enthusiastically.
“I couldn’t resist! I’m sorry!” she yelps as he splashes her again, “But for what it’s worth, I feel the same way”
As much as he loves the words that tumble from her lips, he loves the perfect sound of her laughter even more, so he splashes her again just to hear that melodic sound.
And when their messing continues past the point of lukewarm bathwater, and drenched candles, it’s finally time to get out. Spencer climbs out first, wrapping a towel around his hips before grabbing a large fluffy towel for her. Pulling her out and wrapping it tight around her shoulders, enveloping her in the soft warm fabric and placing a gentle kiss into damp hair.
“God you smell so good” he sighs, holding her wrapped in his arms for another moment, as if they hadn’t been pressed up against each other all evening.
But it’s after getting a little too late, and even though neither of them has a deadline in the morning, they still need rest. So they climb into bed together, foregoing pajamas in favor of freshly washed skin on skin.
— — —
When he wakes to the bed empty beside him his heart all but stops. But the shock only lasts a moment before he fully wakes up and realizes that he can hear the shuffling of pots and pans in the kitchen, and he can smell the warm scent of coffee wafting through the open bedroom door.
So he pries himself out of bed with far less effort than usual, knowing what awaits him in the kitchen makes the task so much simpler. Expecting to find her in her pajamas, cooking breakfast, or reading a newspaper, he hurries to get dressed.
But when he rounds the corner, the picture in front of him is far less innocent. He’s caught off guard by the sight of her bare legs, swinging off the edge of the counter as she sits on the surface. The smooth skin stretching all the way up, only to be covered by one of his sweaters that just about reached her hip.
But he wasn’t entirely off base, she does have a newspaper folded in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other as she sits on the countertop, seemingly too engrossed to notice he’s even entered the room yet. But he doesn’t mind, it gives him a moment longer to really savor the scene.
“It’s not fair that you look so much better in my clothes than I do” he says with a soft sigh, crossing the room to join her, finally making his presence known.
“While I appreciate the flattery, that’s just not true” she smiles up at him as he comes closer. Nudging her knees further apart so that he can stand in-between them, filling the empty space with his body. “You look perfect in your clothes, sexy, even.”
He shakes his head softly in disbelief. He’s not really convinced that he’d ever believe she liked him the same way he liked her, no matter how many times she proved it to him.
“God, it smells so good in here” he mumbles, only now noticing the sweet smell that was beginning to fill the room.
“I know” she says with a grin, “I’m making muffins, they’ll be ready in about 10 minutes” she tells him as she reaches her arms up around his neck, pulling him in closer so that he’s got no choice but to inhale the perfect smell of her hair mixed with his detergent. Something about the combination makes him happier than he can really explain.
“Hmm” he ponders right against her ear, “I don’t know if I can wait that long to eat…” it comes out as a rough whisper, and she knows that tone instantly, her own breath catching in her throat when she tries to speak.
“Always so impatient” she reprimands as he pulls away, slowly sinking down further and further.
His hands find her bare thighs, long fingers drawing patterns along the sensitive skin.
“I’ve spent far too long being patient” he says, his voice low, “I don’t think I can do it anymore” his nails sink in to the flesh as he speaks, slowly building enough pressure to leave crescent shaped marks in their wake.
When she lets out a stifled whimper he can’t hold himself back a second longer. From his squatting position, he hooks his hands behind each of her knees and pulls her forward, right up to the edge of the counter top where he was waiting eager between her legs. His breath hot against her already sensitive skin.
Looking up at her he places hungry kisses in a little trail, each one inching closer and closer to the damp cotton that barely covered her. When he meets her eyes, and they’re filled with the same fire that was certainly in his own, he let his fingers pull at the sides of her panties, tugging them off of her gently until there was nothing in his way.
“Fuck” he breathes, the warm air ghosting over her core, and forcing her to stifle a pathetic moan, borne out of his very proximity to her rather than any real touch. “Ah, so wet for me” he’s quick to praise, taking an extra second to admire the way she glistened in front of him.
“Is this okay?” he takes the time to ask, his eyes casting a glance up at her own, soft and sweet in their question. And she nods, maneuvering to drape a leg gently over either one of his shoulders, pulling him in even closer as an unequivocal signal that this is what she wanted, more than anything in that moment.
And he doesn’t need any more convincing than that as he leans in closer, dragging his tongue in one self-assured stripe between her folds, savoring the taste, the sounds, the feeling, as her muscles tightened instantly, a jolt of pleasure running through her.
She let out a pleased little whimper, barely audible if he weren’t so attuned to her every sound. As much as he wants to devour her, to lose himself in a pleasure he’s been waiting so long for, he just about manages to savor it. Pulling himself back after that first taste, that tease, to praise her even further.
“You taste like heaven” he groans as he places a wet kiss on the inside of her thigh.
“Fuck” she says through a shiver, her hands braced on the edge of the countertop, trying their best not to reposition him. But before she can really consider it he’s made his way back. But this time it’s his fingers that are toying with her. Not penetrating her just yet, just trailing delicately around the outside, gathering her arousal on his fingertips until her knuckles were blanched with the anticipation.
“Ah, please” she says in a tiny whimper.
He almost wants to tease her, to ask her what she means, to tell him what it is that she’s so desperate for. Purely so that he can hear it from her own lips that it’s him, it’s him that she wants so much that she felt the need to beg. But the thought alone is enough, and he can’t stop himself from giving her what she wants.
So he pushes his middle finger inside of her, slow, and gentle. Noticing the way she was so warm around the digit. So wet and unresistant as she lets out a pleased sigh. So he adds another, the two fingers stretching her out that little bit more so that her breathing grew harsher with each ragged inhale.
He curves them up ever so slightly after a few moments, and he’s reassured in his actions by the way her heels dig into his back, completely lost in the pleasure before he’d really even gotten started.
“Such a good girl” he coos in between sloppy kisses against her knees that made their way up to her thighs until he was right back where he started. His lips pressing a soft kiss against her pubic bone before placing a matching one against her warm, wet, centre, eliciting a perfect little cry from the woman above him. And the second the sound is gone, he misses it.
Continuing the steady rhythm of his fingers, he begins to suck gently on her most sensitive point and her back began to arch against him. Her hands giving in and finding their way into his hair in spite of how impatient it made her look. But it made him chuckle, a vibration that only served to further her pleasure, and in turn, his own.
“Ah, Spence— fuck, I…” she rasped out between shallow breaths, her hands knotted in his hair, her hips rocking against his face, chasing her release.
Again, he wanted to tease her, to ask her what was wrong, was she close, could she not even form a sentence. But his lips and his tongue had better things to tend to.
Feeling the way her walls tightened around his fingers with each movement, the way her hips alternated between grinding against him, and pulling away from the stimulation. It all gave her away. So before she could think to pull away any further, he sunk the nails of his free hand into the skin of her back, pulling her tight against him so that she couldn’t squirm away as she came. Whimpering desperate little pleas, a mixture of his name, and half hearted attempt to tell him she was too sensitive while continuing to shiver with pleasure from the shockwaves.
He nursed her through the dregs of her orgasm, only retreating when her grip on his hair actually pulled him away finally.
“Jesus! Spence” she gasps, her chest heaving with each labored breath.
He rose to his feet once again, taking his lower lip gently between his teeth to stop a self-assured grin form taking over his features.
“What?” he asks, and she rolls her eyes at his self-effacing little half-smile.
“What? That. Spence, what the hell was that? Have you been able to do that this whole time?”
He doesn’t stop himself from beaming then, but he still shrugs his shoulders, “You know I’m an overachiever”
She shakes her head right as the oven-timer begins to blare. Shocking her out of her little daze and bringing her back to reality, which was more like a waking dream as of late anyway.
Hopping off the countertop to reach the oven, she lands on her feet and almost falls instantly. Her legs all of a sudden unable to bare her full weight. But Spencer is quick to reach out and steady her, his tongue catching in between his teeth to stop himself from chucking.
“Sorry” he says, “I guess that’s my fault” he holds her steady by her waist, gesturing down to her trembling legs.
“Stop it, or you’re gonna get a big head” she reprimands before she reconsiders, “Actually don’t stop, I think I like it.”
With a little help she manages to get the food out of the oven. They sit at the table together eating breakfast, sometimes sitting in silence, sometimes reading the newspaper, sometimes talking. Half-way through she lifts her legs into his lap and he accepts them, his thumb rubbing gentle circles over the skin of her ankle with one hand while he holds his newspaper in the other.
— — —
A whole day stretched out in front of them felt too good to be true. And it was. Y/N’s phone begins to chime half-way through their movie, and she’s too comfy curled up against Spencer’s side to even reach for it on the coffee table. So he’s the one that has to shift, reaching his long arm forward and handing it to her with an amused eye roll.
She mouthes a quick ‘thank you’ up at him before she picks up.
“Hey Pen” she answers and is immediately countered with Garcia’s ‘serious voice’.
“I’ve been calling for like 30 minutes” she groans and Y/N just chuckles
“30 seconds”
“Whatever, it’s time sensitive! Is Reid around?” she immediately sits upright, her spine straightening out with the adrenaline, which makes Spencer do the same, looking over at her with a puzzled expression.
“Yeah, he’s right here, I’ll put you on speaker, hold on” she presses the button and leaves the phone down on the sofa.
“Hey Garcia” Spencer calls down to the phone.
“Oh great, I’ve got the both of you! So, the rest of the team is just finishing up a case in Michigan, they’ll be home tonight but not for long so we have to start making moves, I’m not sure they can keep going without the two of you for much longer. Hotch doesn’t think so anyway, and he’s been reviewing your reports and sessions and he thinks Dr. Harris is close to a breaking point so he wants to make the next move” Garcia explains and Y/N can’t stop fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, searching for any sort of distraction from the trajectory of this conversation.
“How soon are we talking, what’s our window?” Spencer asks, his leg bouncing up and down, filled with that same nervous energy.
“As soon as possible, tomorrow? Y/N you’re working tomorrow night aren't you?”
Spencer looks over to her and her eyes are wide, her mouth fumbling over the words, “Uh, I—um…”
“Yeah, she starts around 8” Spencer is quick to interject, his hand reaching out to rest softly on her knee, smoothing his thumb in little circles against her skin.
“Okay great, I’ll gather the team once they’re off the jet and we’ll all talk the plan through in the morning. Does 9am suit for a call?”
“Mmhmm, yeah” Y/N finally answers.
“Oh good, I can’t wait to have my babies home again. The end of this case can’t come soon enough” Garcia gushes down the line, and Y/N wishes it made her feel anything other than nauseous.
“Yeah, can’t wait” Spencer says with a half-hearted smile.
“Alright, I’ll let you two get some rest, you’ve got a big day ahead of you! Goodnight my loves”
When the line goes dead the two of them sit in stunned silence for a few moments too long. They both knew this was coming, it was an inevitability of the case, they’d been operating on borrowed time, but it still didn’t feel like enough.
Spencer opened his mouth, only to take in a shallow breath and close it again right away.
“Wanna let me in on what you’re thinking over there?” she decides to prod him a little and he shakes his head.
“I don’t know? I just— I don’t want this to be over? I know that’s stupid, I know this isn’t the real world but it just— it feels so…” he rambles, his eyes fixed on the carpet while hers just stay trained on him.
“It’s not stupid” she sighs, “I feel the same way, I don’t want anything to change, I love our little fake life” he lets out a small laugh at that which makes her smile.
“What do we do?” he asks then, finally looking up and catching her eye, “Do we tell the team? Should we tell them? Should we wait? How long should we wait— what happens if— ”
Her heart all but stops beating as he rattles off questions, she knows the end of the sentence from the way his face falls.
What if we break up?
“It’s going to be alright Spencer” she says, gulping down the lump in her throat to force the words out, “You’re my best friend, before anything else, that’s what you are to me” she reaches out to touch him as she speaks, resting her hand on top of his.
“That’s what—” he flinches at his own train of thought, “that’s what I’m afraid of”
“What do you mean?”
He shakes his head then, standing up from the sofa, slipping out of her grip. His hands come up to his hair then, running through the unruly curls and tugging at them with a little too much force.
“You’re just so important to me, and you have been for so, so, long. I—” he pauses to take a labored breath, “You’re the person I rely on for, well, everything really. You take care of me, and I take care of you, and you make me so happy right to my core… and…. I really don’t know what I’d do without you?”
She just looks up at him, her body slowly curling further into itself, her arms wrapping tight around her folded legs in an effort to shield herself.
“Please say something” he pleads quietly when he’s only met with silence.
“Well, I guess. I understand.” she says before she has to clear her throat, “If we… break up, we mightn’t— we could lose each other.” she can barely get her mouth to form the words, the very thought too painful to wrap her head around. The only thing that might hurt more than that thought, was the way she felt this conversation going.
So she fell silent again, willing the tears not to spill over.
“I don’t know why I started saying this” he says through a nervous laugh, but when he stops pacing and catches sight of her crumpled body on the sofa, her face buried in the crook of her elbow, he has to stop himself from diving in beside her.
“Shit, wait no— I’m sorry” he rushes out, and she peeks up at him, her cheeks already stained from the few tears that had escaped, and the little half-smile she gives him is enough to make him weak.
“It’s fine— I do understand. But the idea of not having you in my life…” she blinks back the fresh tears that start to gather, “I don’t really want to think about it”
“Well then let’s not” he’s quick to offer, holding her face in his hands, thumbs gently wiping away the wet tracks on her cheeks. “Let’s just go to bed, I think we’re both tired, okay?” he coaxes.
So she nods, and lets him help her up, guiding her to their bedroom. She tries not to dwell on the fact that it wont be their bedroom for much longer.
When they’re tucked under the covers he pulls her in tight against his chest so that she can hear his heartbeat.
“You know I love you” she says, clinging onto him just a little tighter as she speaks.
“And I love you too, no matter what”
— — — Let me know what you thought about this chapter here <3
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An Inconvenient Affection [Chapter 11]
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Summary: When a couples’ therapist is suspected of murdering his own patients, Y/N and Spencer must go undercover as a feuding married couple to draw him out.
Chapter Summary: The real world begins to creep in
A/N: Sorry that this so unbelievably late, thank you so much for your patience, as always! Love you all ❤️
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Category: Fake Dating, Friends to Lovers, Smut, Fluff, Angst
Warnings: NSFW language, sexual themes, language, mentions of stalking & infidelity, discussions of jealousy and possessive behavior, kissing, fingering, oral (female receiving), angst (sorry)
Word Count: 4.7k
Previous Chapter – Next Chapter
Series Masterlist
Masterlist
Read it on AO3
Something about Dr. Harris’ words sits with him long after the session is over. He knew he loved her, but he did want to show it more. In a way it still didn’t feel real, the two of them being together.
Obviously the team didn’t know yet, and they couldn’t act like a happy couple outside of the confines of the apartment. The apartment that didn’t even belong to them. It all felt so strange when he really let himself dwell on it, lounging back on the sofa almost letting himself get fully lost in his thoughts before pulling himself back.
He was going to show her love, as best as he could within these four walls, so he grabbed his coat and raced out of the apartment in a bid to get some shopping done before all the stores closed for the night.
He’s not entirely sure what he’s hoping to find as he wanders the aisles of their local grocery store. Nothing on the shelves really screams romance, until his eyes land on a bouquet of red roses. They’re not perfect, but what did he expect really. So he grabs a bunch, or three, along with some candles, and some champagne, and he’s back at the apartment with a plan.
He has a bit of time before she gets in from her shift. So he really takes him time, setting everything up perfectly. He feels like a little foolish as he pulls the petals off several roses, scattering them around the bathroom as he waits for the water to heat. He leaves some in the water, others along the floor in a little trail out to the bedroom. He feels even sillier when he throws the remaining handful on their bed.
He tries no to let himself overthink it as he lights the candles he’s got set up around the bath. He’d like to think she’ll find the whole thing sweet, but there’s every chance she’ll find it corny and laughable. He just really hopes that’s not the case.
The bath is just about full with steaming water and frothy bubbles when he hears a key in the door and his legs can barely carry him fast enough. In spite of the probably overwhelming scent of roses that’ll hit her as soon as she opens the door, he still wants it to be a surprise.
“Hi?” is the first thing she says, confusion plain on her features when she comes home just before midnight and he’s waiting by the door, right in the same place he had been when she left him earlier.
“H-hey” he rushes out, trying and failing to contain his excitement, “How was work?”
She narrows her eyes as she looks up at him, suspicious now, “What did you do?” is the first thing she thinks to ask, “Did you break something?” is her follow up when he doesn’t answer right away.
“No! No nothing like that” he shakes his head, “Just— god, come with me” he pulls her with him towards their bedroom, leading her straight past the rose-petal covered bed, into the bathroom.
It’s not how she remembered their little bathroom looking. The candles that litter every surface of the bathroom flicker and glow to create a warm light that bounces off the tiles. The bath itself is full of bubbles and water, and the steam rolling off the top of it just makes it look even more inviting. Not to mention the red petals that float on the surface and coat the ground beneath her feet.
When she turns to him she’s almost welling up, little tears in her eyes threading to spill over at the very gesture.
“Oh, what’s wrong? I—is this okay? You don’t have to if you don’t want to— I —I won’t be offended.” he rushing out reassurance so fast he barely notices her head shake from side to side.
“No” she says through a light laugh, “No, it’s perfect you fool! I love it, I love you.” she smiles looking up at him, and he can see it now as he looks into her eyes, that they’re full of nothing but adoration. She places a light kiss on his lips and he can’t help but smile against her.
“I almost forgot” he mumbles as she pulls back, “I got champagne too. I’ll just go grab it from the kitchen” he says through an excited smile.
When he returns with the bottle and glasses she’s already undressed and stepping into the water. He takes a second to admire her from the doorway, still in complete disbelief that she was really his, that she was choosing to be with him of all people.
He places a glass down beside her as she sits into the warm water, watching as it envelops her and seems to dissolve any tension in her body as she sinks further beneath the surface.
“I’ll just be outside, but let me know if you need anything” he says as he places a kiss on her forehead, but she just looks up at him with an utterly confused expression.
“Wh- you’re not getting in?” she asks, turning her body to face him as he tries to leave the room.
“No, it’s for you. I wanted you to relax” he says with a soft smile. And it makes her heart swell but she still can’t let him away with it.
“You know what would be even more relaxing?” she asks, and he quirks an eyebrow, “If you got in here with me? Please?”
It doesn’t take much convincing to get him into a bath with his naked girlfriend. She gets him to sit with his back propped up against the smooth porcelain and she slots herself in between his legs.
The second he’s got her body pressed up against his chest, with his arms floating around her, he doesn’t feel like any of this was corny anymore. It’s hard not to feel a little soppy and romantic in a setting like this.
“Are you comfy?” she asks, like he could be anything other than perfectly content in the positions he’s in right now.
“More than” he says through a smile.
And they relax just like that, together. Doing nothing but enjoying the warmth of the water, and of each others company. But before the water gets too cold, she wants him to relax properly too.
Of course he had planned this whole thing for her, to help her unwind a little. But it wasn’t lost on her that he had been wound tight since the very beginning of this case. So she swivels around a little so she can look at him.
“Spence?” she asks, “Can we swap places for a bit?”
He looks a little puzzled at first, but he concedes.
She turns her body around and spreads her legs so that he can nestle in-between them, laying himself against her chest. She lets him rest like that for a few minutes before gently scooping up some water in her hands and pouring it over his soft brown curls.
“Hey!” he giggles, “What are you doing?” he asks, trying to crane his neck around without getting any of the water in his eyes. But he just catches sight of her reaching for the shampoo bottle and catches on quickly.
“Lie back” she orders, squeezing a dollop onto her fingertips as she waits for him to comply, “That’s better”
She takes her soapy fingers and begins to massage them into his hair. Taking her time, she digs them into his scalp, drawing them in patterns along the sensitive skin and watching the way Spencers eyes drift solely closed.
“That feels so nice” he breathes out in a sigh, the tension he perpetually carried in his shoulders slowly starting to dissipate as the evening went on.
She grabs the shower head and uses it to rinse out the lather before coaxing him back into her arms to comb the conditioner through his curls. She lets it sit in his hair then, something she’s sure he never does, in spite of how soft his hair usually was.
He can hear her heart beat slowly thumping as he rests his head against her chest once more, his eyes remaining closed so that he can savor all of the other sensations that little bit more.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been this close with anyone” he mumbles out, and he’s more thinking it to himself really, taking notice of just how low his guard has dropped in that moment.
“At least, not like this, this is… I don’t know? I just— I can’t describe it?” he ponders, and he’s almost a little shocked when he feels her giggling against him.
“What’s so funny?” he asks, trying to maneuver his head around so that he can see her joyous little expression.
“I just don’t think I’ve ever seen you speechless before? Spencer Reid, at a loss for words? It’s an honor really.”
He shakes his head as he begins to giggle too, using his palm to flick some of the bath water back towards her with a grin.
“I’m trying to be vulnerable right now and you’re laughing?” he says, with a mock-offended tone, but she just nods enthusiastically.
“I couldn’t resist! I’m sorry!” she yelps as he splashes her again, “But for what it’s worth, I feel the same way”
As much as he loves the words that tumble from her lips, he loves the perfect sound of her laughter even more, so he splashes her again just to hear that melodic sound.
And when their messing continues past the point of lukewarm bathwater, and drenched candles, it’s finally time to get out. Spencer climbs out first, wrapping a towel around his hips before grabbing a large fluffy towel for her. Pulling her out and wrapping it tight around her shoulders, enveloping her in the soft warm fabric and placing a gentle kiss into damp hair.
“God you smell so good” he sighs, holding her wrapped in his arms for another moment, as if they hadn’t been pressed up against each other all evening.
But it’s after getting a little too late, and even though neither of them has a deadline in the morning, they still need rest. So they climb into bed together, foregoing pajamas in favor of freshly washed skin on skin.
— — —
When he wakes to the bed empty beside him his heart all but stops. But the shock only lasts a moment before he fully wakes up and realizes that he can hear the shuffling of pots and pans in the kitchen, and he can smell the warm scent of coffee wafting through the open bedroom door.
So he pries himself out of bed with far less effort than usual, knowing what awaits him in the kitchen makes the task so much simpler. Expecting to find her in her pajamas, cooking breakfast, or reading a newspaper, he hurries to get dressed.
But when he rounds the corner, the picture in front of him is far less innocent. He’s caught off guard by the sight of her bare legs, swinging off the edge of the counter as she sits on the surface. The smooth skin stretching all the way up, only to be covered by one of his sweaters that just about reached her hip.
But he wasn’t entirely off base, she does have a newspaper folded in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other as she sits on the countertop, seemingly too engrossed to notice he’s even entered the room yet. But he doesn’t mind, it gives him a moment longer to really savor the scene.
“It’s not fair that you look so much better in my clothes than I do” he says with a soft sigh, crossing the room to join her, finally making his presence known.
“While I appreciate the flattery, that’s just not true” she smiles up at him as he comes closer. Nudging her knees further apart so that he can stand in-between them, filling the empty space with his body. “You look perfect in your clothes, sexy, even.”
He shakes his head softly in disbelief. He’s not really convinced that he’d ever believe she liked him the same way he liked her, no matter how many times she proved it to him.
“God, it smells so good in here” he mumbles, only now noticing the sweet smell that was beginning to fill the room.
“I know” she says with a grin, “I’m making muffins, they’ll be ready in about 10 minutes” she tells him as she reaches her arms up around his neck, pulling him in closer so that he’s got no choice but to inhale the perfect smell of her hair mixed with his detergent. Something about the combination makes him happier than he can really explain.
“Hmm” he ponders right against her ear, “I don’t know if I can wait that long to eat…” it comes out as a rough whisper, and she knows that tone instantly, her own breath catching in her throat when she tries to speak.
“Always so impatient” she reprimands as he pulls away, slowly sinking down further and further.
His hands find her bare thighs, long fingers drawing patterns along the sensitive skin.
“I’ve spent far too long being patient” he says, his voice low, “I don’t think I can do it anymore” his nails sink in to the flesh as he speaks, slowly building enough pressure to leave crescent shaped marks in their wake.
When she lets out a stifled whimper he can’t hold himself back a second longer. From his squatting position, he hooks his hands behind each of her knees and pulls her forward, right up to the edge of the counter top where he was waiting eager between her legs. His breath hot against her already sensitive skin.
Looking up at her he places hungry kisses in a little trail, each one inching closer and closer to the damp cotton that barely covered her. When he meets her eyes, and they’re filled with the same fire that was certainly in his own, he let his fingers pull at the sides of her panties, tugging them off of her gently until there was nothing in his way.
“Fuck” he breathes, the warm air ghosting over her core, and forcing her to stifle a pathetic moan, borne out of his very proximity to her rather than any real touch. “Ah, so wet for me” he’s quick to praise, taking an extra second to admire the way she glistened in front of him.
“Is this okay?” he takes the time to ask, his eyes casting a glance up at her own, soft and sweet in their question. And she nods, maneuvering to drape a leg gently over either one of his shoulders, pulling him in even closer as an unequivocal signal that this is what she wanted, more than anything in that moment.
And he doesn’t need any more convincing than that as he leans in closer, dragging his tongue in one self-assured stripe between her folds, savoring the taste, the sounds, the feeling, as her muscles tightened instantly, a jolt of pleasure running through her.
She let out a pleased little whimper, barely audible if he weren’t so attuned to her every sound. As much as he wants to devour her, to lose himself in a pleasure he’s been waiting so long for, he just about manages to savor it. Pulling himself back after that first taste, that tease, to praise her even further.
“You taste like heaven” he groans as he places a wet kiss on the inside of her thigh.
“Fuck” she says through a shiver, her hands braced on the edge of the countertop, trying their best not to reposition him. But before she can really consider it he’s made his way back. But this time it’s his fingers that are toying with her. Not penetrating her just yet, just trailing delicately around the outside, gathering her arousal on his fingertips until her knuckles were blanched with the anticipation.
“Ah, please” she says in a tiny whimper.
He almost wants to tease her, to ask her what she means, to tell him what it is that she’s so desperate for. Purely so that he can hear it from her own lips that it’s him, it’s him that she wants so much that she felt the need to beg. But the thought alone is enough, and he can’t stop himself from giving her what she wants.
So he pushes his middle finger inside of her, slow, and gentle. Noticing the way she was so warm around the digit. So wet and unresistant as she lets out a pleased sigh. So he adds another, the two fingers stretching her out that little bit more so that her breathing grew harsher with each ragged inhale.
He curves them up ever so slightly after a few moments, and he’s reassured in his actions by the way her heels dig into his back, completely lost in the pleasure before he’d really even gotten started.
“Such a good girl” he coos in between sloppy kisses against her knees that made their way up to her thighs until he was right back where he started. His lips pressing a soft kiss against her pubic bone before placing a matching one against her warm, wet, centre, eliciting a perfect little cry from the woman above him. And the second the sound is gone, he misses it.
Continuing the steady rhythm of his fingers, he begins to suck gently on her most sensitive point and her back began to arch against him. Her hands giving in and finding their way into his hair in spite of how impatient it made her look. But it made him chuckle, a vibration that only served to further her pleasure, and in turn, his own.
“Ah, Spence— fuck, I…” she rasped out between shallow breaths, her hands knotted in his hair, her hips rocking against his face, chasing her release.
Again, he wanted to tease her, to ask her what was wrong, was she close, could she not even form a sentence. But his lips and his tongue had better things to tend to.
Feeling the way her walls tightened around his fingers with each movement, the way her hips alternated between grinding against him, and pulling away from the stimulation. It all gave her away. So before she could think to pull away any further, he sunk the nails of his free hand into the skin of her back, pulling her tight against him so that she couldn’t squirm away as she came. Whimpering desperate little pleas, a mixture of his name, and half hearted attempt to tell him she was too sensitive while continuing to shiver with pleasure from the shockwaves.
He nursed her through the dregs of her orgasm, only retreating when her grip on his hair actually pulled him away finally.
“Jesus! Spence” she gasps, her chest heaving with each labored breath.
He rose to his feet once again, taking his lower lip gently between his teeth to stop a self-assured grin form taking over his features.
“What?” he asks, and she rolls her eyes at his self-effacing little half-smile.
“What? That. Spence, what the hell was that? Have you been able to do that this whole time?”
He doesn’t stop himself from beaming then, but he still shrugs his shoulders, “You know I’m an overachiever”
She shakes her head right as the oven-timer begins to blare. Shocking her out of her little daze and bringing her back to reality, which was more like a waking dream as of late anyway.
Hopping off the countertop to reach the oven, she lands on her feet and almost falls instantly. Her legs all of a sudden unable to bare her full weight. But Spencer is quick to reach out and steady her, his tongue catching in between his teeth to stop himself from chucking.
“Sorry” he says, “I guess that’s my fault” he holds her steady by her waist, gesturing down to her trembling legs.
“Stop it, or you’re gonna get a big head” she reprimands before she reconsiders, “Actually don’t stop, I think I like it.”
With a little help she manages to get the food out of the oven. They sit at the table together eating breakfast, sometimes sitting in silence, sometimes reading the newspaper, sometimes talking. Half-way through she lifts her legs into his lap and he accepts them, his thumb rubbing gentle circles over the skin of her ankle with one hand while he holds his newspaper in the other.
— — —
A whole day stretched out in front of them felt too good to be true. And it was. Y/N’s phone begins to chime half-way through their movie, and she’s too comfy curled up against Spencer’s side to even reach for it on the coffee table. So he’s the one that has to shift, reaching his long arm forward and handing it to her with an amused eye roll.
She mouthes a quick ‘thank you’ up at him before she picks up.
“Hey Pen” she answers and is immediately countered with Garcia’s ‘serious voice’.
“I’ve been calling for like 30 minutes” she groans and Y/N just chuckles
“30 seconds”
“Whatever, it’s time sensitive! Is Reid around?” she immediately sits upright, her spine straightening out with the adrenaline, which makes Spencer do the same, looking over at her with a puzzled expression.
“Yeah, he’s right here, I’ll put you on speaker, hold on” she presses the button and leaves the phone down on the sofa.
“Hey Garcia” Spencer calls down to the phone.
“Oh great, I’ve got the both of you! So, the rest of the team is just finishing up a case in Michigan, they’ll be home tonight but not for long so we have to start making moves, I’m not sure they can keep going without the two of you for much longer. Hotch doesn’t think so anyway, and he’s been reviewing your reports and sessions and he thinks Dr. Harris is close to a breaking point so he wants to make the next move” Garcia explains and Y/N can’t stop fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, searching for any sort of distraction from the trajectory of this conversation.
“How soon are we talking, what’s our window?” Spencer asks, his leg bouncing up and down, filled with that same nervous energy.
“As soon as possible, tomorrow? Y/N you’re working tomorrow night aren't you?”
Spencer looks over to her and her eyes are wide, her mouth fumbling over the words, “Uh, I—um…”
“Yeah, she starts around 8” Spencer is quick to interject, his hand reaching out to rest softly on her knee, smoothing his thumb in little circles against her skin.
“Okay great, I’ll gather the team once they’re off the jet and we’ll all talk the plan through in the morning. Does 9am suit for a call?”
“Mmhmm, yeah” Y/N finally answers.
“Oh good, I can’t wait to have my babies home again. The end of this case can’t come soon enough” Garcia gushes down the line, and Y/N wishes it made her feel anything other than nauseous.
“Yeah, can’t wait” Spencer says with a half-hearted smile.
“Alright, I’ll let you two get some rest, you’ve got a big day ahead of you! Goodnight my loves”
When the line goes dead the two of them sit in stunned silence for a few moments too long. They both knew this was coming, it was an inevitability of the case, they’d been operating on borrowed time, but it still didn’t feel like enough.
Spencer opened his mouth, only to take in a shallow breath and close it again right away.
“Wanna let me in on what you’re thinking over there?” she decides to prod him a little and he shakes his head.
“I don’t know? I just— I don’t want this to be over? I know that’s stupid, I know this isn’t the real world but it just— it feels so…” he rambles, his eyes fixed on the carpet while hers just stay trained on him.
“It’s not stupid” she sighs, “I feel the same way, I don’t want anything to change, I love our little fake life” he lets out a small laugh at that which makes her smile.
“What do we do?” he asks then, finally looking up and catching her eye, “Do we tell the team? Should we tell them? Should we wait? How long should we wait— what happens if— ”
Her heart all but stops beating as he rattles off questions, she knows the end of the sentence from the way his face falls.
What if we break up?
“It’s going to be alright Spencer” she says, gulping down the lump in her throat to force the words out, “You’re my best friend, before anything else, that’s what you are to me” she reaches out to touch him as she speaks, resting her hand on top of his.
“That’s what—” he flinches at his own train of thought, “that’s what I’m afraid of”
“What do you mean?”
He shakes his head then, standing up from the sofa, slipping out of her grip. His hands come up to his hair then, running through the unruly curls and tugging at them with a little too much force.
“You’re just so important to me, and you have been for so, so, long. I—” he pauses to take a labored breath, “You’re the person I rely on for, well, everything really. You take care of me, and I take care of you, and you make me so happy right to my core… and…. I really don’t know what I’d do without you?”
She just looks up at him, her body slowly curling further into itself, her arms wrapping tight around her folded legs in an effort to shield herself.
“Please say something” he pleads quietly when he’s only met with silence.
“Well, I guess. I understand.” she says before she has to clear her throat, “If we… break up, we mightn’t— we could lose each other.” she can barely get her mouth to form the words, the very thought too painful to wrap her head around. The only thing that might hurt more than that thought, was the way she felt this conversation going.
So she fell silent again, willing the tears not to spill over.
“I don’t know why I started saying this” he says through a nervous laugh, but when he stops pacing and catches sight of her crumpled body on the sofa, her face buried in the crook of her elbow, he has to stop himself from diving in beside her.
“Shit, wait no— I’m sorry” he rushes out, and she peeks up at him, her cheeks already stained from the few tears that had escaped, and the little half-smile she gives him is enough to make him weak.
“It’s fine— I do understand. But the idea of not having you in my life…” she blinks back the fresh tears that start to gather, “I don’t really want to think about it”
“Well then let’s not” he’s quick to offer, holding her face in his hands, thumbs gently wiping away the wet tracks on her cheeks. “Let’s just go to bed, I think we’re both tired, okay?” he coaxes.
So she nods, and lets him help her up, guiding her to their bedroom. She tries not to dwell on the fact that it wont be their bedroom for much longer.
When they’re tucked under the covers he pulls her in tight against his chest so that she can hear his heartbeat.
“You know I love you” she says, clinging onto him just a little tighter as she speaks.
“And I love you too, no matter what”
— — — Let me know what you thought about this chapter here <3
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Hi what’s your ao3? :)
its the same as my @ on here - differentkettleoffishalltogether
you can read an inconvenient affection on ao3 here
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chapter 11 of an inconvenient affection is going up tonight 🥳
small change though! im no longer going to be keeping a taglist. i appreciate that this is annoying to some, but I just can’t keep up with them, i know it doesn’t sound like a lot of work but it really is.
on the plus side, i do update at the same time on ao3 so if you’re active over there you can set up notifications or subscribe or whatever it’s called on there? as for tumblr, i don’t typically post a lot on this blog anyway, so if you just turn on post notifications you shouldn’t miss any updates
thank you to everyone that was on my taglist, especially those of you that took the time to interact and leave comments or tags in the reblogs, that’s where like 90% of my motivation comes from, so just know i love you 🥰
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hey babes sorry ive been entirely mia
that wasn’t the plan and im not gone, and i am going to finish an inconvenient affection if it kills me
life just restarted again out of nowhere and i didn’t have the time or energy to write, but I just spent the last two days rereading both of my series (and god there are so many typos!) but its gotten me excited to write again!
so this is your warning that im not gone, i swear
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hi! different anon here
congrats on your new job!! new things are stressful, but i’m happy for you to be loving it
do take care of yourself! please! the promise of aica being continued one day is enough for me, i would hate if we pushed you to polish or push chapters out and you fell out of love with it
thank you for working so hard! you’ll get into routine eventually, cheering for you!
thank you so much, i really appreciate this!
of course ive been busy with leaving my old job and starting my new one. and on top of that im apartment hunting at the mo which is taking up lots of my free time. it’ll all level out soon im sure! and even if i don’t get back to posting super regularly any time soon, i will still keep posting!
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Dude I hope they didn’t make u feel pressured to post, take your time dude! Writing (for me at least) is hard and time consuming so just relax 😎😎
No they didn’t, but if I’m being honest it’s been in the back of my mind stressing me out basically since the last time I posted. And chapter 10 had to be written in chunks here and there because I couldn’t find the time so it was honestly daunting posting it and knowing I had to do it all over again.
And I do really love writing, and this story, it’s just not coming to me at times when I can actually sit down and write which sounds silly but im sure you get it 😖
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It’s okay! Take your time with it, do what you gotta do first, and make sure to take care of yourself!
Thank you very much for this, ily anon 🥺
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Yo did you die or wut
nope still alive
just incredibly bad at time management right now
ive started a new job that takes up lots of my time (i am really loving it tho 🥰) and then im exhausted when I get home and i have to go to bed early to wake up early the next day so it’s early days and im still struggling to get into a productive routine
but i promise im not gone, and ill finsh chapter 11 as soon as i can, and i wish i could force it, but i cant
so i am sorry for the delay! i really am
but ive got no intention of abandoning this story, or my blogs
ive still only got about 3k of chapter 11 written and I can find time to polish that tonight if you’d just like me to post what ive got rather than the full chapter ive got planned, let me know if that’s something you guys would like?
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spencer reid in every episode » 3.20 lo-fi
“I want to do a comprehensive geographical profile of the area in order to ascertain the unsub’s mental map before it’s clouded by our own linkage blindness.” “…I see you brought your own computer.”
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