digitizedsouls

[digitizedsouls]

-places this down- i am v tired after my day but i miss y'all.

// So i am in a very intense mental health program, called partial hospitalization. It takes up my entire day and leaves me exhausted. I think its going to really help me though. I'm eager to see what skills i can use from it to better manage my enotions and my stress. The structure of an all day schedule is already helping ne and i'm only on day 4.

All this to say i know im not active but im once again attempting working on myself. In a very real and serious way this time. Im on my way in for the day but wanted to check in.

I'll write when i can brain writing, but pls know i am EAGER to. I miss yall.

#{{ ooc }} #mental health cw #{{ Mun Update }} #for anyone interested we are doing CBT. DBT. and ACT skills for distress management. processing. and coping with the world and trauma bette #// it is emotionally EXHAUSTING #// but i think it will be very good for me. #tomorrow i'll have gone for a whole week! \o/

[digitizedsouls]

Benjamin was quietly cursing how *dry* Texas was. Halfway through his jog and he’d drained his camelback. If Bella noticed the heat, she didn’t complain, she kept pace with Benjamin easily, tongue hanging and tail wagging. Her leash hung slack from his belt. They rounded a corner and Benjamin was opening his mouth to tell Bella to stay out of the bushes at the edge of the closest yard when Bella came to a sudden stop, ears raised, head low, and she barked at the man- owner, presumably- who was hurriedly leaving. At first, stumbling as he tried not trip or snag the leash, Benjamin was irritated, making a *tsk* sound. He looked up to apologize, calling out a “sorry.” He caught the man’s eye for half a second, Bella had startled him into pausing, and as he turned away Benjamin thought he saw blood between the fingers of his clenched hands.

“Hey,” he called out, hoping to get another look to confirm. Immediately, the man broke into a run, and Bella actually snatched Benjamin over trying to give chase. The next several seconds were a combination of Bella straining her harness, Benjamin trying to grab said harness and get his feet beneath him, and a cacophony of barks, growls, curses, and finally, commands.

“Fuck- Bella! Stop- I can’t- here, Bella, here! Leave. It.”

Bella disengaged, blinking up at Benjamin and wagging her tail as if nothing had happened. “Good,” he breathed. Looking for the man, he was gone. Benjamin swore, patting pockets to find his phone. He wasn’t in uniform, couldn’t just go chase down and tackle somebody his dog could’ve scared. He’d just have to report it.

Bella barked again. Benjamin didn’t look up from his phone as he gave a warning, “No.” Jesus he’d nearly called the DPD. He squinted against the sun as he dialed, trying to remember- Hispanic, most likely, at least 6ft, broad-shouldered, t-shirt and dark pants. Yeah. That was going to lead somewhere in Texas. Benjamin sighed. Bella barked, walking a few steps to tug her leash again, this time slowly but insistently, tugging him enough he had to adjust his stance.

“Bella what-“ he started, glancing at her and back to his phone, then back to her. She wasn’t facing the way the man had run. Instead her she was focused on the house he’d come from, every muscle taut as she leaned against her harness.

His hands were bloody.

Closing his phone, Benjamin started across the lawn, in a walk that quickly became a jog, spurred on by Bella. “Hello?” Benjamin called when he got to the porch. Bella’s nails scrabbled against the painted wood steps and made a quiet approach impossible. He rapped knuckles against the front door while Bella sniffed and snorted against the bottom seam, searching frantically for something. “Police, is anybody home? Is anyone hurt?” He called, and listened for something other than his dogs snuffling.

There, was that? Benjamin put an ear to the door. He thought he heard a voice. Quiet, barely there if it was there at all, and he was on loan from the DPD, and he had been warned not to screw up and make them look bad, and if he couldn’t confirm anything this was just breaking and entering, and and and… Bella stopped sniffing the door and was now staring at it, head tilted. She gave a quiet boof of a bark, as if to confirm she, too, had heard someone. …And if someone was hurt in there and he just left?

“Alright, I’m with Dallas PD, I’m opening the door!” He called out before trying the handle. No such luck. Bella whined and scratched at the door, looking between it and Benjamin. “Okay girl, I’m checking.” he said as he leashed her to the stair railing. “Bella, stay.”

“Dallas PD, back away from the front door!” He shouted before forcing it in. The scene that greeted him was grisly.

Holy shit. That was a lot of blood. And the source was currently slumped on his face overtop a potted plant. “Hey,” Benjamin’s thumb was dialing 911 already, and he put the phone on speaker, dropping it to the floor as he crouched next to the injured man. “Can you hear me? I’m police, I’m here to help you.” He touched his neck, searching for a pulse.

A smooth Southern voice answered just as he found one. “9-1-1, what is your emergency?”

“I’m Benjamin Price, I’m with Dallas PD, and I’ve got an injured male at 194 Los Robles. Send a bus. Pulse confirmed, but it’s weak, and he’s got significant blood loss.”

“Calling for a bus now, can you see where he is injured?”

Benjamin took hold of TK’s shoulders and carefully laid him flat on his back. Jesus. “Yep-“ his palm pressed against the wound, hard. There wasn’t time to find gloves. “Its uh- Deep wound to the abdomen. I’m applying pressure and don’t feel anything foreign in there.”

“That’s very good. Keep that pressure, Okay? We have an ambulance on the way. Is he responsive? Can you get his name?”

Benjamin used his free hand to touch the man’s shoulder. “Hey, can you tell me your name?”

here's the open where TK gets stabbed 💖 options are your muse is a neighbour, your muse is passing by on the street, maybe your muse is a firefighter/paramedic on the call with TK and they find him there, etc etc. i am not fussed, here is stabbed!TK

His heartbeat was pounding in his ears. There was a moment of disconnection there, he thought - a second between the knife sinking in to his abdomen and TK hitting the wall - couch - sidetable on his way down, where TK was not conscious of what had happened. No: he was conscious, he used his arm in the fall to keep as much weight as possible off the blade when he hit the ground, rolled away from it with some cry -- but he had no pain. For that split second it was just an additional something-else in his body, embedded in his side, a strange pressure but not painful.

The world raced to catch up with him when he put his hand on the butt of the knife, as though to pull it back out, and some thought in his brain said NO in all caps and italic-bold, and the burst of pain was almost (almost) enough to knock the wind out of him.

TK could not afford to catch his breath. The patient (patient? He'd been trying to treat him, anyway, a moment ago this guy had been unconscious) crouched as though to try to rip the knife out of him. "No, no, no, no--" TK scrambled back with what leverage he could get against the carpet, with this knife lodged in his side, one hand protecting it (if the patient tore the knife back out of him he was going to bleed to death). They locked eyes.

Whether the patient had ever heard the words I'm a paramedic, or I'm here to help you, or Can you hear me?: TK became very vitally aware very suddenly that this man simply did not care what TK was or what he had intended in waking him up, like this. TK was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Maybe he had seen something he should not have seen.

With this man, six-foot-something, the size of a tank, standing above him: TK had the sudden thought he might die here.

The man said something, a low, angry phrase in a language TK did not understand and could not even identify.

"What?" breathless, confused.

He needed an ambulance. He needed help, now, did he have his phone - what did -? He was half-crawling, half-sliding himself backwards toward the wall on the far side of the room, closest to an exit. Gotta move before this pain gnawing at the edges of his brain became the only thing he could think about. Move, keep the knife in there, try not to jostle it, find help, find help, find help.

The man said something else, again in a language TK could not identify ("I don't-" TK did not have the air to tell him), but it was less angry now. He closed what little space TK had been able to create between them and crouched a second time, this time close enough that his hand covered TK's on the handle of the blade lodged in his abdomen, and still in that same language TK could not identify he said I'm sorry, in such a tone TK knew exactly what the words were, and knew very vividly what that meant, "Don't-"

The knife yanked out of him in an unsteady arc, tore a little on the way out as it finished a slice it had only just started before, and for a moment all TK could process was the pain. He had thought he'd lose grip on what was happening with the knife still in him; with it torn out he thought maybe he had blacked out for a second because he came back around and the guy was at the doorway TK had been trying to crawl towards, stowing the knife carefully away, door pulling open with a distant glimpse into the hall if TK stretched and TK abso-fucking-lutely did not stretch.

The guy paused in the doorway to watch TK, no longer able to even support his own weight on his arms, flat on his back with his hands steadily covering themselves in blood, trying to suppress bleeding. The moment passed very quickly. The guy stepped outside and the door snicked shut behind him because of course, of-fucking-course it did, even if TK could get to the door he would not be able to open it (even if he could call for help, someone would have to kick down the door). How had.. he even... TK shut his eyes tight for a second for the sake of thinking, thoughts scrambling away from him as quickly as they came, and - eventually - he pulled his hand away from the wound to grab blindly at the same sidetable he'd been inching away from.

There had to be something. There had to - he knocked it over, papers and magazine and potplant toppling somewhere to his left (great: dirt for his wound) but the pot was intact and TK's fingers could just hook around it, so he dragged it toward him with a groan. He was going to lie on top of it. His body weight would keep pressure even when he passed out, and he heavily suspected he would pass out.

And his phone was dead. It was dead, in the pocket just below the literal stab wound, even if it were on he wouldn't have been able to get it without --

"Hey," he needed help. He did not have a means to get out of this, he was bleeding out, TK rolled with a pained grunt onto the pot of the plant and used what he could, what was in reach, to make noise. He dragged the sidetable around with his leg, on the good side, grabbed the magazine that had toppled and threw it where he thought it might hit something noisy, "Hey, I need help!" barely audible at all. Strained and whispery. He tried again, "I need help!" Who was even going to hear him? There were this guy's neighbour's, but no guarantee they'd be home, and no guarantee they weren't his pals. TK was not sure he was close enough to the pavement outside to be heard. Maybe.

He hoped so.

"Help!"

#{{ Muse: Benjamin }} #// I had this half written a week ago lmao #// I finished writing this on my iPad at my dad’s house #// it might be rougher than I realize #// but I hope this works. #long post

[digitizedsouls]

// i know i promised writing but i have been READING threads instead and re-immersing myself in all the little stories we've built together ♥ I will add to them soon

#{{ OOC }}

[digitizedsouls]

‘You Did Good’ prompts

“Hey, [name]! That was some nice work out there.” 

“You know, you really… reach people, when you try.”

“You did good. You know that, right?”

“That was impressive.” 

“How did you figure that out?”

“You helped. That’s something to be proud of.”

“It’s okay. Hey, [name]. You’re okay, you did it.”

“It could have been a lot worse. Give yourself some credit.”

“I like you just like this, you know. You don’t have to be perfect.”

“Hey. We did everything we could.”

“They’re safe – hey! They’re safe. Let’s focus on you for a minute, okay?” 

“Everyone’s been evacuated, you were the last out. Let’s get you checked out.”

“You’ve been helping all of them? Alone?”

“Sometimes you do your best work and things are still shitty. That’s just how it goes.”

“I’ve never seen you like that before.”

“You’re not psychic. You couldn’t have known.” 

“I’m right here. You found me in time, I’m right here.”

“It’s over. Hey! It’s over. Everyone’s safe. You did that.”

“These people wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for you.”

“I wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for you.”

“Where did you learn to [fight/issue orders/do first aid/etc] like that?”

“There was nobody in the building, [name]. You got them all out.”

#{{ Emails and Integrations || Memes }} #{{ OOC }} #{{ Queue in the machine }}

[digitizedsouls]

marlena by julie buntin

#// Jeremy. #{{ Muse: Jeremy }} #{{ OOC }} #{{ Queue in the Machine }}

[digitizedsouls]

// so i have managed to put my small old pc in my room to have access to write sometimes maybe. i am currently v sick but logging into all my blogs is the first order of business lol

hello i have missed being here.

i havent had easy access to a computer in. a while. my nice pc is in another room (and died recently RIP), so i dug this one out bc i need a way to job hunt. Might as well also write a bit eh?

I'm planning to clean up my drafts and see about replying to a thing or five :3

#{{ ooc }}

[digitizedsouls]

Things Muses Say when they’re not okay

“I’m okay.”

“Give me… give me a minute?” 

“Yeah, I’m… I’m, um….”

“How many people already know?”

“It’s fine.”

“It doesn’t hurt.”

“Shit.”

“Don’t touch it!”

“Don’t touch me!”

“Why do you think I know you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Ow.”

“Can we just… be together for a while?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“How do people just – keep going?”

“I’m on top of it.”

“It isn’t a problem.”

“You don’t have any reason to worry.”

“I think I need help.”

“Will you [comforting action]?”

“I thought I could handle it on my own.”

“I was wrong.”

“It just happens sometimes.”

#{{ Emails and Integrations || Memes }} #{{ OOC }} #{{ Queue in the Machine }}

[digitizedsouls]

It’s a beautiful day, Hawthorne thought as he worked. Trinkets and coins weighed heavier and heavier in hidden pockets as he slipped between passers-by. Sometimes he’d inspect fruit here, buy a piece of candy there. Gathering provisions and keeping himself busy between targets so he could plan his next mark. Someone with a big name was getting married, based on the number of rich people arriving from every direction. And of course they practically flew to the markets to be separated from their money. Hawthorne was only too happy to help, making his way towards a large ship that looked ready to leave.

The prospect of leaving made him feel energized, reckless, even. He took more from purses than he usually would, slipped bracelets from wrists, watches from pockets. Sure-footed as he ducked between dock workers, he passed easily for a deck hand. Hawthorne was all but invisible to the majority of those he passed, and that was how he preferred it. The ones with money they could afford to lose all turned their noses when they deigned to cast their gaze his way, leaving themselves wide open. His antics weren’t usually noticed until his target stopped with intent to buy something, and as he grew closer to the ship, more than one cry rang into the air.

When he spotted soldiers approaching, Hawthorne decided it was time for a distraction. He took the necklace from one noblewoman and attached it to a passing woman’s purse, visibly dangling there. He very nearly ran face first into a soldier as he turned away. The soldier grabbed his shoulder roughly, but before the man could demand an answer out of him, one of the women shrieked indignantly, and Hawthorne weaseled out of the soldier’s grip in an instant. He made his way towards the ship, eager to get out onto the water.

As he crept up the gangway, he snatched up a crate of bottles and hefted it in front of his face to ward off any questioning gazes from the soldiers, blissfully unaware of the eyes that watched him. He grinned as he placed the crate among others on deck and dove beneath the shade of the cotton sheet, quite pleased with the day’s events thus far. The cover brought him a reprieve from the heat of the sun, and the light still broke through enough that he could sit cross-legged between two barrels, pop a piece of candy into his mouth, and begin examining his haul.

His spirit just about jumped out of his skin when the sheet lifted above his head and he found himself face to face with a woman, who seemed not at all surprised to find him there with a pile of coins in his lap. Where had she been? While he pondered and gaped, she mentioned how he was hiding from, and Hawthorne sat straighter, pondering escape routes. If he snatched the sheet down between them and ducked under that crate there-

“You’re one hell of a thief.” Okay, he was back to staring. Either he was losing it, or this rich lady had just complimented his thievery.

“That’s not what most people say when they think they saw someone commit a crime,” Hawthorne said.

The woman asked to join him, and Hawthorne nodded slowly. A terrible host..? Was she saying she owned this ship? He held out a small bag. “Do you like lemon candy?” he asked. Might as well try to be a good guest, right?

SHE  DOESN’T  APPROACH  RIGHT  AWAY.          Not because of inability or uncertainty, but rather because of an abundance of curiosity. He’s a smart one, that’s for sure. The brim of her hat swoops low, hiding her attention from most, but giving her a perfectly clear view of the ship from her position at the mast. The boy, or young man if you’d prefer, weaves through the crowds, fingertips dancing against fine coats and silky purses, a coin here, a pretty watch there, gleaming once in the rising sun and then vanishing into his own pockets. He’s good. Very good. From where she stands, tucking the ropes into neat loops as a feigned distraction, she watches as he dodges and swerves around oncoming soldiers, eyes bright and focused as they seek an escape. 

The market serves a beautiful variety of diversions, though. And by the time Aisling climbs the mast and into the crow’s nest, her quick friend is already onboard, melting out of sight beneath a pile of folded cotton they’ve been gifted with in recent days.

Time to make a new acquaintance.

Aisling waits a moment more for her crew to return to the ship, merry and bright from the reprieve, then climbs back down, nimbly stepping around them, removing her hat, and lifting the corner of the sheet, crouching down to face him with a friendly smile and a little wave.          “  Good morning! Fine day, isn’t it? Surely too nice a day to avoid the sun… Although, you’re hiding from far more than that, aren’t you? You’re one hell of a thief; I thought for sure and certain that last lad would’ve spotted you, but no… Would it be alright for me to sit with you a while? I’d be a terrible host if I didn’t at least keep you company until we’re out of the docks, wouldn’t you agree? I imagine you’d like to keep out of sight until we’re away from your new fanatics, yeah?  “

@digitizedsouls​ liked THIS POST (for hawthorne!) and asked for:     🏴‍☠️ ( or ’ PIRATE ’ ): a starter set in aisling’s pirate au verse!

#{{ Muse: ​Hawthorne }} #{{ v; The sea. The sky. Forever. || Pirates }} #// I wrote most of this at like 3am last night don’t judge me lmao

[digitizedsouls]

    -     an  original  character  based  in  the  mc.u  and  irish  mythology,  penned  and  adored  by  blue  (21+)  and  est.  april  2015

promo  credit  goes  to  the  incredibly  talented  @ashelps​ !!  psd  credit  here!

#// in this house we love Blue and Aisling ♥ #// go check them out! #{{ Promo }} #{{ OOC }} #{{ Queue in the Machine }}

[digitizedsouls]

#// i'm torn bc like. #// hurt/comfort with benji. yes #// but the only person he'd let take care of him is Sixty and at that point i might as well write a fic- #{{ OOC }} #// tw blood #{{ Queue in the machine }} #{{ Muse: Benjamin }}

[digitizedsouls]

Don't forget to look at the moon.

#// ♥ #// ily ingrid #// i forgot to post this when it happened #// but this gif has been in my drafts the entire time #{{ OOC }}

[digitizedsouls]

ways to respond when someone says, "I'm okay."

this is a rp meme it's for roleplay purposes please feel free to reblog it & use it for that purpose, it's what it was made for!

"[Name]."

"[Name.]" (gently)

"I mean it. I want to know."

"I'm worried about you."

"Are you hurt?"

"What happened?"

"Do you need me to come home?"

"Have you eaten anything?"

"That's probably true, but let's get you checked over anyway, alright?"

"I believe you. Let me help, anyway?"

"The shower's running."

"Well, I'm not."

"I miss you."

"Don't."

"I don't believe you."

"I know."

"Will you stay with me?"

"Is that true?"

"That really scared me."

"You're crying."

"You're bleeding."

"Don't move yet."

"It looked bad."

"I brought you some water."

"I called your work to tell them you weren't coming in."

"Let's stay home today."

#// -eyes emoji- #// ingrid some of these would be great for a Leo TK meeting #// doesnt have to be an emergency scene. group? #// maybe some sort of group #// Leo could be struggling #// or the close-to-relapse idea you had for TK #{{ OOC }} #{{ Emails and Integrations || Memes }}

[digitizedsouls]

// -sneaks in to poke at my drafts with a stick- 

hello ♥

#{{ OOC }} #// i might not be here actually i dont know yet #// but for the moment i am #// so hello

[digitizedsouls]

Antonia Thomas for Schön! Magazine

#// long post #// large image #{{ Muse: Madison }} #{{ Appearance: Madison }} #// gosh she's so pretty #{{ OOC }} #{{ Queue in the Machine }}

[digitizedsouls]

More Talking About It Starters

“I believe you.”

“It shouldn’t have been like that.”

“Don’t sit and stew in it like this. Talk to someone. Talk to me.”

“It’s an open offer, it doesn’t have to be tonight. You’re welcome at my place if you need somewhere to go.”

“Come on. We’ll eat pizza. We don’t have to talk.”

“You know you can just show up, right? I’d let you in. You don’t have to say anything. I won’t ask any questions.”

“You’ve been distant, lately. I’m worried.”

“Is it still happening?” 

“It hurt you.”

“You deserved better.”

“Seriously. You can talk to me.”

“I can’t believe they’d publish that.”

“You should have called me. I would have come.”

“This isn’t bothering me, [Name]. If I didn’t want to be here I wouldn’t have come.”

“Am I the only one you’ve told?”

“Does [name] know about this?”

“You need to tell [him/her/them].”

“Please talk to me.”

“Why do you… flinch like that?” (metaphorical flinching or real flinching)

“When were you going to tell me?”

“You didn’t ever have to tell me. I’m glad you did, but you didn’t owe it to me.”

“You don’t owe me the story just because you love me. But if you want to share it, I’ll listen.”

“Do you want to just… look, do you want to kiss until we forget it?”

“Don’t go back.”

“You did the right thing.”

“I’m not angry. I’m not disappointed. I just love you.”

“Do you want advice or do you want me to just listen?”

“No, I’m n… I don’t.. I don’t want to be crying, that’s just really sad. Are you okay?”

#{{ Emails and Integrations || Memes }} #{{ OOC }} #{{ Queue in the Machine }}

[digitizedsouls]

my muse has been missing for three days, and has just escaped/been found/etc. send "Hello?" for what my muse says in their first phonecall to yours, when they finally get access to a phone.

#{{ Emails and Integrations || Memes }} #{{ OOC }} #// -eyes emoji-

[digitizedsouls]

reassurance starters

'' i feel safe here. ''

'' you're safe with me. ''

'' i won't let anyone hurt you. ''

'' i'll do whatever i can to protect you. ''

'' no matter what happens, i'm here for you. ''

'' i have time. ''

“ are you okay with this? ”

'' i trust you. ''

'' can i come over? ''

“ thank you for your patience. “

“ can i kiss you? ”

'' i won’t tell a soul. ''

'' i appreciate you for you. ''

'' you're so smart. ''

'' your secret's safe with me. ''

'' do you mind? ''

'' are you comfortable? ''

'' tell me what's on your mind. ''

'' i'm here for you. ''

'' you have me. ''

'' it's okay. ''

'' only if you want to. ''

'' you're not alone. ''

'' stay. ''

'' tell me if something's bothering you. ''

'' you deserve the whole world. ''

'' are you sure about this?''

'' it’s up to you. ''

'' i support you, no matter what you decide to do. ''

'' can i hug you? ''

'' can i touch you? ''

'' i like kissing you. ''

'' i love you. ''

'' i appreciate your company. ''

'' we make a pretty good team. ''

'' you're my best friend. ''

'' you're worth everything. ''

'' you deserve to be happy. ''

'' i care about you. ''

'' i trust you. ''

'' i like spending time with you. ''

'' i think you're awesome. ''

'' you make me happy. really happy. ''

'' you're safe. ''

'' i got you. ''

'' you're not a waste of space. ''

'' i'm not going anywhere. ''

'' stay. for as long as you need. ''

'' i'll stay. ''

'' call me, even if it's the middle of the night. ''

'' need a shoulder to cry on? ''

'' i'm extremely okay with this. ''

'' thank you. for [xxx]. ''

'' it's up to you. ''

'' take your time. ''

'' need a friend? ''

'' come home. ''

'' you matter. ''

'' it's gonna be okay. ''

'' you're not alone. ''

'' it's okay to cry. ''

#{{ Emails and Integrations || Memes }} #{{ OOC }} #{{ Queue in the Machine }}