dionysianruckus

[dionysianruckus]

*loudly at a party* this place blows. im gonna go hang out with the tortiose and the hare from the mythical fable the tortiose and the hare. see you losers later

[dionysianruckus]

women tolerate me but they really like it when im in pain or lost and desperate in a cave. odd but i would never question women

[dionysianruckus]

you would do letters in ancient rome

[dionysianruckus]

You have to be a killer

jamisonrivv

[dionysianruckus]

divorce is so funny. like never mind

[dionysianruckus]

mushroom mayhem, boom. guy with a big cock? big mushroom cock gun, BAM! mushroom mayhem! guy didn't even think about it. didn't think twice.

[dionysianruckus]

i went to a tiny counterserve diner once and accidentally poured sugar instead of salt all over my hashbrowns and was eating them sadly anyways. the waitress took them away and started making me another one and I tried to protest, but she just snorted and said "we're not catholic here". now every time i'm doing something painful out of obligation i think about how that is not repenting, this body is not a catholic establishment, there is no nobility in suffering.

[dionysianruckus]

taking a class on sex this semester which has resulted in many fun things like "sex activity" and "sex final" being added to my planner. being very mature and serious about this .

[dionysianruckus]

hey i was caramelizing your boyfriend and he uh. he stuck to the pan. yeah i didn’t deglaze it enough and he’s really burnt on there. i mean we can soak him for a while and see if we can scrape him up but i’m not optimistic. sorry.

[dionysianruckus]

are you mad at me? would you like to be

[dionysianruckus]

please be nice to me, i'm in my twenties. do you know what that does to a person

[dionysianruckus]

okay picture this; i go back in time and find a victorian orphan child. do i blow his mind? do i break his brain? NO!!! i give him warm soft clothes and a hug. he gets me wizard high off what would commonly be used to treat a minor cough in that era. we both eventually contract a deadly illness and then i bring him to the future where we get easily cured of our ailment. i buy him a happy meal afterwards. he’s my good son now. love you son.

[dionysianruckus]

whenever I vote in a poll and choose the most popular option I am a champion and when I pick the least popular option I am part of the revolutionary underdog class fighting against the posers

[dionysianruckus]

[dionysianruckus]

[dionysianruckus]

why don't you listen to ethel cain at full volume in a dark room at 11 pm on a weekday & maybe you'll feel worse. have u considered doing this. to feel worse

[dionysianruckus]

i appreciate the clarification because at first i thought this was the funniest anon hate i'd ever gotten