disorderedolly

[disorderedolly]

over a year clean. and i ruined it all

#i’m such a fuckup #holy shit #vent #vent blog #bpd #bpd feels #tw vent #tw s3lf harm #bpd thoughts #tw s/h #s/h #tw relapse #relapse #s/h relapse #god i wish i could do some lines rn

[disorderedolly]

i planned to kill my self tonight, but my puppy got sick. i couldn’t do that to my sweet baby girl. she needs me

#she needs me #to feed her and take her outside and go pet her and go hold her and carry her around everywhere #she would miss me #and i know she would #she has attachment issues she can barely stand not being in the same room as me #i can’t leave her #she’s a baby and she needs me #and i love her so much

[disorderedolly]

me vs the urge to get absolutely shitfaced at 1pm on a monday

#addict posting

[disorderedolly]

what if i just killed myself? it’s not like i have to worry what people think after that. or worry about anything at all.

#vent #vent blog #bpd #bpd feels #tw vent #bpd thoughts #bpd mood #tw s/h #s/h #tw s3lf harm #tw sucidal ideation #tw suicide

[disorderedolly]

why does this have to be so hard. why can’t i just be normal and okay

#vent #vent blog #bpd #bpd feels #tw vent #bpd thoughts

[disorderedolly]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐠 𝐩𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐥

[disorderedolly]

[disorderedolly]

I just want to not be in pain, to not feel things so strongly, to sleep normally, to like the way I look, to know who I am.

I just want to be normal

[disorderedolly]

i miss being sick

[disorderedolly]

there's going to be a day when you forget about this blog and are able to live at least a semi-happy life. there will be a day when you can say you're okay and mean it. i promise

thank you 🤍

#i appreciate you #this means a lot to me

[disorderedolly]

hey i dont know you and you don't know me, but i hope things get easier, if not better, for you soon. there is always tomorrow <3

be safe, you are loved and you are cared for.

thank you. it’s very much appreciated 🤍

[disorderedolly]

i want to hurt myself so bad

[disorderedolly]

i fucking hate being sober

#bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd vent #bpd feels #living with bpd #bpd mood #borderline thoughts #vent #vent blog #tw vent #self destruction #self sabatoge #s/h #tw s/h #selfharn

[disorderedolly]

i don’t want to get better, i want to die sick.

#bpd #🦋ed #vent #s/h #tw s/h #tw self destruction #tw relaspe #tw sui implied #suicidal ideation #bpd thoughts #bpd feels #bpd vent #vent blog #selfharn #self sabatoge #self deprecation #self destruction #living with bpd #borderline thoughts #suicudal #🦋blog #🦋tw #e 🦋

[disorderedolly]

im so fucking pathetic

#bpd #🦋ed #vent #s/h #bpd thoughts #bpd feels #bpd mood #actually borderline #borderline thoughts #vent blog #tw vent #self sabatoge #self deprecation

[disorderedolly]

just want all 300 of you to know how much I love and care for you. my dms and asks are always open if you need a place to vent.

[disorderedolly]

i want to rot away and disappear. i don’t know how much longer I can hang on

#bpd #vent #s/h #🦋ed #tw self destruction #tw vent #vent post #vent blog #vent but ok to rb #bpd feels #bpd thoughts #borderline #suicudal #suicidal ideation #🦋blog #e 🦋 #tw s/h #self destructive behavior