ditzydollie

[ditzydollie]

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#i got to 19h fasting <3 #i still p much had like 700kcal yesterday but #i got munchies super bad when i was high w ck last night and ate a few bites of his snack lol #i was super anxious @ the time but now im just like it’s fine nobody’s perfect lol #and my fast still counts to me cuz it was legit like 3 bites #so if my intake was like 740 kcal instead it’s ok #im still technically in my fast lol im gonna break it soon w some avocado bread #but ima do the dishes n laundry first so i can go a lil longer :) #i rly hope that even tho i ate fucking taco bell yesterday im still losing weight #i think the fasting is helping #anyway ima weigh in next sunday and see

[ditzydollie]

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#i woke up feeling hella weird this morning lol but im in a good mood idk why but yay #im feeling fine to continue my fast n even tho i was having hunger pains last night i didn’t break <3 #my fast breaks at 2ish i think so that’s cool #i might even be able to do another 20h instead of 18 #i was shooting for 20h this time but i changed to 18 for the goal cuz i was feeling so mf hungry #ima just wait until ck asks ab food either way cuz i don’t eat when alone 99% of the time lol #but yea and i couldn’t resist weighing myself this morning but #i was lowkey pleasantly surprised to see i lost the 0.6 and i also lost 0.4 more #so im down a full pound now yay #it’s monday and a new moon so i’m shooting for like 2-3 more by next monday #hopefully more manifesting 4-5 ✨ #but yea :3 im gonna try on my low rise jeans in a sec to see if they fit different rn as well #haven’t broken my fast yet let’s goooo 🤞

[ditzydollie]

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#also forgor 2 say my daily intake lol #i mean it’s a huge estimate cuz idk how much was in the noodles my mom made #but there’s approx 192 kcal in a cup of rice noodles so i prob had about that #and some cabbage n stuff so maybe like an extra 30 #which is 222 and then i had the cookie as well #that’s approx 78 cals so #my total intake for the day is 300 kcal #im gonna smoke and do a stretching vid before bed #idk how much i burned obv but i didn’t work out so it’s prolly just my bmr #which means i’m in a huge deficit tho lol so cool #my bmr is prob like 1.4k-2k depending on stuff #so a deficit of at least 1k which is a lot i think lol #kk anyways gn fr this time lol

[ditzydollie]

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#ck is coming over tmrw lol #im hype af to see him but it’s just like ajsjssjskksksks #he’s gonna try to ruin my fast lmao stopppp like forreal just stop #but idk we shall see what happens #he makes an effort to not force me to eat cuz he knows it makes it worse so that’s nice of him tho #ima try to fast as long as i can tmrw tho #i haven’t worked out today which sux tbh i feel so fat for not bht like #i need rest days esp when i’m eating this little even tho it doesn’t feel like im even restricting #im gonna fast as long as i possibly fucjing can tmrw #ima have like avocado toast or sumn to break it and maybe some grapes #idk tho toast sounds like a lot lmao i need to get gf bread #and a mf toaster we ain’t even have that lmao 🙃 #ok ok anyway whatever i did a 22h fast today which was good tho and now im back to fasting #also i did this tracker thingy today and it said i could be at my ugw by feb #if i eat like 700-800 kcal a day i would get there by feb #so i need to start zigzag res fs but im still like tryna detox rn so #also it’s scary af to high res but i have to push myself to do it so i don’t binge #ANYWAY dats it for today ig lol #also i think ima stop weighing everyday and instead try on the same pants #i have some jeans that were a lil tight like a week ago & some low rose i haven’t worn in forever #so we’ll measure w thet for now i think and weigh weekly #but yeaaa ok gn lmao

[ditzydollie]

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#im scared of weighing myself tmrw cuz of what happened this morning #but hopefully i weigh a lil less idk lmao #it’s hard to tell when my tummy hurts aaaaaaa i hate this feeling so much #i hate feeling full even if it’s from a lil bit of food #i just wanna be lighter lmaoooo #hopefully if im not closer to gw then im at least 0.6 lighter again lmaooo #but yea lmao we shall fuckin see #time to trigger myself before bed <3 #im craving food even tho my tummy hurts lol GROSS yucky ew ew

[ditzydollie]

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#lol i ate a cookie today but my mom made it for me when i woke up from my nap 😭 #i couldn’t say no #i also ate like 1/4 of the noodles she made me #but i fasted for 22 hrs :) #and all together the stuff i ate was prolly like 250 kcal #im so glad i’m not binging cuz of my period #my tummy hurts now too lmao cmon magnesium come thru #im afraid of the calories in the gummies i have but i need it for my fucked up tummy atp lol #anywayz ima simply water fast tmrw cuz mom goes back to work #ck said he might come over so we shall see #i def wanna see him but also wanna be able to fast without ppl tryna feed me lmao so #ima workout less too cuz i was gonna go harder today but my body is tired i can tell #i don’t wanna go to the hospital again for this shit so im just gonna do stretching videos today n tmrw #cuz tmrw is a full on water fast at least until like 5 pm so that’s more than 20h #anywayz yea hehehehehe wish me luck yall

[ditzydollie]

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#im so pissed i was 0.6 lbs heavier this morning #im assuming it’s either water weight or the tea drink i had w coconut cream #either way we hate to see it :( #but it’s ok i’ve been fasting for 14 hrs now <3 almost to 20h #when i make it to 20 i’ll see how i feel #if i feel like breaking it i will but if i can go longer i’ll try to shoot for 24h #i haven’t done a full on fast like this in a while but after yesterdays failure i gotta try harder today #and my period was late but started so obv we don’t want this lmao and also #it’s kinda good tho cuz i can use it as an excuse and be like #ughhh i just don’t feel good im naseous or w/w #so at least there’s that 4 me lmfaoooo #hopefully i lose weight by tmrw morning hehe #i feel like the gain could also be bc of my period cuz duh doesn’t that usually happen #esp when ur bloated #like im bloated af rn so it could just be that tbh #we shall see thooooo

[ditzydollie]

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#so i ended up only drinking like 1/4 of the tea lmao just cuz i don’t rly like it #but so that’s basically just 4 kcal then lol so it brings my intake to 205 kcal #so hopefully i still lose <3 #im gna work out smoke n go to sleep now lol and moms home tmrw but im rly hoping that i can find a way to do a weigh in in the morning #(she hides the scale in her bathroom so i don’t use it lol) #but ima hope she’s in the kitchen or sumn when i wake up cuz then i can sneak it rq #if im down even half a pound i’ll be happy lol but hopefully maybe even a full one 🥺 #also i feel hungry again <3 yayayayaya #also just looked up my weight in kg and i didn’t like that shit lnaoooo most ed bitches r way lower than me :( #but i’ll be there soon :) #kk gn lmaooo

[ditzydollie]

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#lol so my fat ass decided to eat 100 more cal lmfaoooo #but it’s aight ima burn it off in my workout after mom goes to bed <3 #it only ups my intake to 240 but still #also technically it was 95 but i usually round up to be safe #but i feel slightly full now so ajdksjdkskdks #im drinking ginger tea (45 kcal) & ate a biscuit (50 kcal) #so eff me lol lmao xd rawr #it’s aight ima work out n feel wayyyy less full #and tmrw when i get up i’ll be slightly lighter #we shall see

[ditzydollie]

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#it’s hard waiting till tmrw to look @ my weight #i wanna know how much i gained from the food #but like i said a few posts ago ik that it just legitimately upsets me not in a good way #like i’ll cry and sh or some shit instead of being motivated l #i get more motivated when i see it going down #so ima just not do that yet till tmrw morning #i expect it to be lower tbh even if it’s just by like half a pound #like i said kcal estimate for the day is prob like 350 so i ate v little #& also i burned like 70-80 in my morning workout so that makes 270ish right? #and also bathroom reps or w/e u wanna call it lol #idk how much that burns tbh but im assuming like 50 so that makes like 220 #and then i went shopping w my mom so that’s prolly like 80 #so that’s like 140 #i rly hope i’m not super off lmaooo #cuz today was a failed fast day lmfao but only bc it’s so hard to turn down my mom :( </3 #she just loves me n cares so much i feel bad lol #she even commented that i barely ate mt dinner 💀 but i basically gaslit her and said i ate a bunch of it #i also reiterated while i was working on it & also after that comment that it was fucking amazing #cuz it was honestly like her cooking skills r 💯 #but ueaaaa idk anyways rambly post but when r they not #im so excited to see the scale tmrw tho #like if it rly is 140 kcal for the day then there’s a good chance i lost weight today #i already feel hungry again so that’s a yay #like kt sucks kinda obv lol but it’s also nice cuz yaaay i feel empty n light and like i’m making progress #ima look at more thinspo

[ditzydollie]

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#anyway lemme go on ab my fantasy of rescuing gw by halloween #im tiny and cute and everyone thinks i look good #and my costume is lowkey loose especially in places where it’s tight rn #and my neck looks smaller and in less insecure ab my arms cuz they’re a lil smaller #and my legs too!!!! omg my legs will be smaller #that was what bothered me the most when i saw the try on pics ck took #yes yes yessssss this motivates me sm #ima workout harder tn w my ankle weights #i did that last night too #my legs get shaky after i do it so ik it’s doing sumn lol #im so excited to be skinni n be at my lw ever <333 #im not quite at my lw from before yet but once i lose 10 lbs i will #and then ima keep going obv hehe #i think ima add a new rule which will be at least one 24-36 hr fast per week #like that’s easier than just randomly deciding to do it tbh and that way i can sustain being uw longer #im not uw rn unfortunately lol but i will be <3 #im super short lol so i have to get to a pretty lw to be uw #but i’ll be there in w few months ik it #like by the end of next month i’ll be at my gw and then nov i can get to my next gw and then dec is next gw and then jan and then after that #it’ll be easy <3 #so im thinking by may i’ll be uw #that’s amazing to me aaaa #i gotta keep going

[ditzydollie]

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#lol ok so. i ate more than a few bites #but it’s all g #not that much more tbh #i moved a lot of rice around the plate to make it look like i ate more n hid it under other food #so i feel like i lowkey triggered myself by doing it lol cuz it looked like i ate so much #but i ate probs like uhh idk like 7-9 bites of rice and 2 bites of potstickers #im gna assume in total i probs ate around 100 kcal including all the spices etc #i also tried to eat mostly the veggies and pretend i ate the rice lol #and ofc did my water n chewing rules #so yay i did it <3 ig LOL #i obv should’ve ate nothing but it’s aight #the water stuff made me feel so much more full too like i’m completely full rn so that’s lit #i feel satisfied #not completely full lmao just like i would never #but def like im good im not rly hungry anymore #and now ima jusssss exercise when mom goes 2 bed :) #hopefully i burn most of it off <333 #when i weigh myself tmrw i hope i see a lighter number #the thought of it is almost euphoric lol #im the lightest i’ve been in a while so it would be rly nice #well fuckin see tho #im lowkey scared it’ll be higher cuz i ate at all n also cuz i drank a lot of water n also #cuz i ate sum rice and drank that drink #like not only did i eat but it was a lot lmaooo but whatevs #def not a binge and still high restricting i feel #or maybe mid #if i had to guess i’d say total for today was something like 350 kcal #so that’s p mid bur im ok w that rn cuz it’s the higher end of mid <3 #im doing so good lately :)im gonna reach my gw by halloween i just know it #i can imagine my costume (which is right rn ofc) being even a lil loose on me and everyone saying i look good

[ditzydollie]

tw.

food rules

#this is just 4 me to reference and if anyone else sees this i’m so sorry and pls don’t do this #anywayz tho lol #1. shoot for 500 cal a day but 800 at most #2. drink at least a glass of water every hour (not scared of water weight cuz the extra water helps u lose more over the long run) #3. work out at least an hour #3b. if im too exhausted to get out of bed then at least 15 min of movement #4. do 25 reps of an exercise whenever i go into the bathroom (ik it’s weird but i swear it makes me move more) #5. always be fidgeting cuz every calorie counts #6. don’t drink ur calories or if u do then don’t eat ur calories #so basically don’t waste calories #7. cut food into tiny pieces and chew 20 times before swallowing #8. don’t eat more than twice a day at all costs including snacks drinks etc unless it’s 0 cal #cant rly think of anything else rn but ik there’s more lol #it might seem like a lot too but i do a lot of it automatically atp #anyway yea there’s my rules <3 #pls pls don’t do these if u read this far lmfao this is so stupid to do to urself

[ditzydollie]

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#holy shit lmao i just posted a vent to my main blog by accident #lmfao im so stupid i hope no one saw it #i never go on that blog anyway but i think my brother might follow it 😳 #just rly hope no one sees it or gets worried lol i deleted it in a millisecond tho #also i wanna make a post on here of my food rules so i probs will #but anyway last post was just saying some of them ig lol ima do it now

[ditzydollie]

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#dude lmao im so fuckingng scared rn this is dumb #like mom wants to make a big dinner n i alr lowkey broke my fast cuz she got me taro coconut cream tea so i had some lol #i just feel ducking bad #cuz she wants me to eat & the shit she makes is yummy fr #we were supposed to make red miso soup but she wants to make rice instead 🙃 #like ok go off mom ig lmao idfk #im gonna try to like mix it up and make it look like i ate #honestly since it’s rice it’ll be easier to do that w and make it look good #and i think she’s making potstickers too idk tho but if she does i’ll maybe take a bite or two #it’s just like one is prolly 150 cal right? idk tbh i gotta google it #also mom is putting msg ofc lmao i wanna die #but ok ok ima look up the cals in everything if idk and try to eat like maybe up to 200-300 idk #even that sounds scary #maybe less than that lmao like maybe a few bites #i usually trick myself into thinking i can have just a lil tho lmaoaoaoazkks #so maybe i’ll just say my tummy hurts lol ig #i’ll jus b like yea i ate cereal this morning and it made my tummy hurt so idk now #i feel like that’s good it’s just that she’s gonna say i need to see the dr #love that she cares but zAkdkskdksk just let me starve #ok tummy ache plan is a go

[ditzydollie]

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#ok so goal time #my sw is now *** and my gw for now is *** #to get that i only have to lose 16 lbs #my ugw is lower obv and i have to lose more after that but this is for rn <3 #so ima try to lose the 16 by the end of this year #most likely by the end of october cuz i’d love to reach it for halloween #i feel like 16 lbs in a month is actually p realistic idk so i should be able to no problem #my cleanse for today is going ok but i’m behind schedule a lil lmao just cuz i’m tired #but im gonna work out rn and then eat my orange so yay :3

[ditzydollie]

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#OMG OMG OMG OMG no fucking way #so i just did my weigh in for this morning #i weigh a lot less than i thought lmao #i was expecting to be back close to what my hw in treatment was #but im 21 lbs lighter than that omg #i was so scared the weigh in was gonna hurt and be awful but it just motivated me a lot more tbh #like bro im skinnier than i realized lmao the body dysmorphia fucks it all up every time #im a pound lighter than when i last felt skinny lmao so idfk #but at least im still losing weight even after binging for a few days #im back on track tho i’ll be at my gw before ik it #goal post coming after dis <3