do-rey-me

[do-rey-me]

[do-rey-me]

little known fact about me: i’ve kept an active reading journal since 2020. it’s cute and fun and colorful and most importantly not for a grade so there’s no pressure and no deadline. i have a bunch of tracking pages and pages about the book club i have with my irl friends.

much more known fact about me: i love gothic literature (yes i was that english major in school) and im going on year three of dracula daily.

so, this year, i made my first dracula daily spread in my reading journal! dates with emails are in red and the blank space on the side of each month is for ongoing junk journal thoughts as we read.

(the logo at the top is thanks to a phone mirror drawing contraption i’m still getting used to using but so far has opened a lot of doors to more complicated designs!)

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happy wenis wednesday to those who celebrate

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We don’t bully Sauron enough for being such a FUCKING instagram villain that he’d only ever steal black horses from the Rohirrim, like he really in canon passed over herds of perfectly good load-bearing horses just for aesthetic fidelity

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One more try to draw something with colored pencils. I found out that elves in colored pencils look extra kitschy.

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gimli loves galadriel... yes true but !!!! have you ever heard a gay man of a certain age talk about madonna

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The closer a language is to yours, the easier it is to understand, the further it is from you, the harder it is to understand. But there's a sort of uncanny valley right in the middle that makes a language sound silly.

I'm an English speaker. German sounds similar, I can even find cognates sometimes. Mandarin Chinese sounds completely alien, but I can understand that it is a language.

But Dutch, Dutch sounds hilarious. Dutch sounds like a clown version of English. I wonder why that is.

I've heard Spanish speakers say similar things about Portuguese, which makes me think there's some sort of linguistic Silly Zone.

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Peek into an alternate timeline where I'm ever-so-slightly worse at posting: My whole existence is bog. You get me closer to frog.

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Happy Hogswatch

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I think one of the things Dungeon Meshi is definitely about is how different people deal with being an outsider/marginalised/neurodivergent/what have you and basically what im getting at is that Kabru is TEXTBOOK "high functioning [insert diagnosis here]". Its that how they say it still? Don't care.

Basically. This man shows up and you listens to him talk and see how his party treats him and you think. Oh this is a cool guy who has his shit together. And then after like two pages you find out that he has constant flashbacks to Utaya that make him completely freeze, anxiety attacks, thought spirals, is incapable of analyzing his own feelings, is a stuttering mess when the stakes are high, has never done a chore in his life, keeps putting himself in triggering situations and re-traumatising himself, and the icing on the cake is when you read the extra material and it turns out he regularly forgets to eat and lives in a depression nest of dirty clothes and self-medicates insomnia with alcohol and also is 22. Which also kind of puts Misilril not wanting to let him go in another light - yeah for sure she's controlling and infantilising and also its not like she was really helping his issues but also she was not entirely wrong in her judgement. This man does NOT know how to take care of himself. He knows how to do the bare minimum so when he shows up at work the next day he can fool his coworkers into thinking hes got it together enough. For a bit.

He is DEEPLY unwell and he knows it but he is carried by the desperate wish to avoid another catastrophe. If he stops for a moment he KNOWS he'll collapse so he doesn't.

I also think this is why him acting nurse to Mithrun is such an important part of his arc. Its like. This person who has spent all of his adult life focused on a single objective disregarding everything else is faced with what happens when you do that for too long. And the result is a wet tissue of a creature who looks like he doesn't know where he is most of the time.

He is a man on the brink. I have no doubt he felt relieved when he decided he could trust Laios - not even in a Labru way, straight up because he knew he could not keep going like this.

But also like. Of all the characters in the manga, I think Senshi and Kabru are the most lonely ones. Except Senshi seems to be OK with solitude - for sure it's not entirely healthy to be alone for as long as he was but he definitely did well enough. He is very good at taking care of himself. Meanwhile Kabru *knows* a lot of people but can you really say he has friends? Rin, maybe, arguably, but even she does not seem to truly know him, you know? He keeps himself hidden from everyone. I think the only time we see him entirely honest is when he says to Laios that he wanted to be his friend, and hes so shocked when it comes out, you can tell he did not mean to say it. And differently from Senshi, he does NOT fare well alone. He likes people, he needs people. Again compare with Mithrun - he has like a squad of people taking care of him. If Kabru had a breakdown of that size can you say his party would go out of its way to help? Im not sure. Not because they're bad people, but because he's simply not that intimate with any of them.

Idk man it just struck me all of a sudden. Laios is weird and offputting and doesn't care about other humans the way Kabru does and YET he is infinitely more successful at building deep, meaningful relationships and taking care of himself as well. I think this is part of why Kabru is so fascinated with him as well. He can tell Laios has something he doesn't have. Wait this is turning into a whole another post I'll write this next time.

[do-rey-me]

I'm rereading Hogfather for the first time in probably 15 years and I. Cannot believe I missed all the jokes about Hex the first time around. The "anthill inside" sticker. The ram skulls. The small religious pictures. Christ

Whoever made that post about rereading Discworld novels making you go "damn you Terry" while shaking your first at the sky, you get it

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Watched the new Game Changer episode and I'm shocked they didn't put flashing or glitch warnings in the description. I'm not sensitive to them and even I was kind of affected in that last big segment.

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in the hour or so it took me to draw this op turned reblogs off

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Teeth are bullshit. What do you mean you’re decaying. Get a fucking grip. You’re a bone now act like it. You don’t see my finger bones decaying from jerking it too much now do you

[do-rey-me]

yeah this IS specifically for me actually