doctahleonardchurch

[doctahleonardchurch]

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#I just think #Because dad has so many young people in his life #He has a very unfortunate music taste beyond his unfortunate appreciation for country #Should he be aware of lemon demon??? No #But he does think some of their songs are catchy #* OOC

[doctahleonardchurch]

#Was anybody invested enough in this blog to remember this song #Bc I remember this song #It's back on my playlist- #* OOC #Youtube

[doctahleonardchurch]

Don't laugh. He wasn't sure why that admission caught him so off-guard, especially since it was likely something he already knew, but... Jesus.

The old man cleared his throat a bit.

"At what point do you decide that marriage is just not in the cards for you? You had to go through it three times before you got the message?"

"Not at all, dear Director. I cared a great deal for Esther, but when our careers and interests diverged, we amicably split. My second wife was a short-lived mistake. Helena and I only divorced after she admitted to me that she was sleeping with her tennis coach."

#ceohargrove #* IC #[ she who shall not be named...... ] #[ I bet it was smth like gladys. it fits along with all the other terrible names- ]

[doctahleonardchurch]

Hey old man, who's your favorite grandkid?

"What makes you think I play favorites?" Please, he knows better than that. He never even played favorites with his own children—not... necessarily, anyway—what made anybody think he was going to start that cycle with his grandkids?

"They all have their own equally as unique and special characteristics that I like about them. Although, it's almost a bit off putting to see just how much Nikki and Max have in common with a couple of my own children..." He didn't necessarily need a repeat of the 'heavily invested in all things reptile and amphibian' trait on Nikki's part, but... that's alright.

"Neil's quite the impressive scientist, Nikki's... very sweet, when she feels like it. And I'm still waiting for Max to come out of his shell a bit, but..." Alright, maybe he does have a bit of an extra soft spot for one of those kids. He won't say so out loud, at least. "I can already tell that he's quite a character all on his own. Maybe a bit heavy on the cuss words for being so young, but I can't say I'm too surprised about that."

#[ he's extra soft abt max even though max maintains a reasonable distance usually ] #[ but mum's the word ] #* IC ANSWERS #* ANONYMOUS

[doctahleonardchurch]

"If you'll allow me to be extremely blunt with you for a moment, I have a question I'm dyin' to get off my chest." That's probably not a good thing. "Has anybody ever called you out for being as much of a whore as you are?"

"Only the three. Though I can hardly speak much for the middle one. I met Helena at that particular wedding, which I'll admit was a trifle awkward."

#ceohargrove #* IC #[ dad who is Extremely and Toxically dedicated to a single person (but now he's also more healthily dedicated to somebody else tbf) ] #[ meanwhile chairman just goes after a heartbeat ig ]

[doctahleonardchurch]

You're in his wedding photos. ... At least for his first two wives

How many wives did that old bastard have again? The dedication was almost impressive.

"I'm a bit concerned as to where you're getting all this information from." It's not as if either of them were very open about their private lives now, let alone anything that may or may not have happened in the past. These questions were too specific.

"I can assure you, whatever you've allegedly seen, you have the wrong person. And I'd appreciate it very much if you'd stop interrogating me over false accusations."

#[ nobody believes you bb I'm sorry ] #* IC ANSWERS #* ANONYMOUS

[doctahleonardchurch]

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#I mentioned it to cryptid already but #It's so wild to think that I was drawing church & dadpa in my senior year while I was bored as fuck being lectured #And now I'm starting my second year of teaching in the same district (first year in this district) #Drawing the same two assholes while I'm bored as fuck being lectured #Kinda weird how stuff coincides or. time passes or whatever #* OOC

[doctahleonardchurch]

Don't you still have photo albums of you and Hargrove together?

If he did, then they were certainly buried very, very far back in some closet or attic somewhere (and it was hard to say where, really), and that was exactly where they should be. Provided that they even existed.

"Not to my knowledge. I can't imagine why such a thing would exist to begin with, given the nature of our relationship." Their professional relationship. That's the undertone of that statement.

#[ love her lack of energy. go girl give us NOTHING ] #* IC ANSWERS #* ANONYMOUS

[doctahleonardchurch]

The Chairman, sir? Really? Don't you have any self-respect?

Does he have any self-respect? Is that a trick question?

"Every interaction I've ever had with that man has been against my will. I'm not sure how self-respect plays into the unfortunate arrangement of a chain of command."

#[ he doesn't know What you're talking about ] #[ things have been strictly professional. they only met because of his dubious ethics and never before that ] #* IC #* ANONYMOUS

[doctahleonardchurch]

Give my muse unwanted advice!

#* MEMES #[ for either of my dudes ]

[doctahleonardchurch]

#* MUSINGS #[ oop ]

[doctahleonardchurch]

"Your optimism's always been my favorite thing about you, Carolina. Have I ever told you that before?" Jabs aside, it wasn't as if he didn't understand. Even without everything they were constantly dealing with burdening their minds and undoubtedly seeping into their drying wells of contentment and hope... everyone knew that immortality as sad. Who wanted to stand around and watch their loved ones grow old and die while they remained unchanged by time?

He was thinking about it too deeply.

"Somethin' to keep your sights on, at least. Even if it doesn't end up becoming this reality, sometimes it's just nice to have something pleasant to pretend to look forward to. Y'know? Keeps you moving forward." It wasn't a fool-proof method, but... it worked well enough for him. Though with the question aimed in his direction, North huffed a scoff from between his lips. Honestly, despite his own optimism, the idea of living to see the end of the war just sounded... impossible. Try as they might, fight as they will, death felt... inevitable. Distant but not distant enough to be safely out of reach.

"I've probably put too much thought into it. Say what you will, but... I've kinda always just wanted a white picket fence to call my own. Couple'a kiddos, few pets, a better half." It was likely that he probably wanted it a bit too much, considering their odds. "After everything we've gone through, I could do with some boring, rural peace and quiet."

@doctahleonardchurch (cont. from)

"Honestly? Probably be depressed. May as well have fun with it until then, though." Carolina was no fool; she, like many others, had entertained thought exercises along these lines many times before, and likely would continue to do so many times going forward, as well. The idle mind brought forth hypotheticals, both mundane and eccentric, after all.

"Honestly, though, theoretical immortality aside, it's hard to think too far into the future with everything going on. Maybe there's a future where I settle back home on Earth again and find my own, but that feels so mundane and distant it may as well be another reality." She had a job to do here, after all - a job she was damned good at.

"Have you ever put any thought into it? Into what you'll do if we live to see the end of the war, that is." Perhaps a morbid way of phrasing it, but she always tried to be realistic about odds; the higher risk the situations they were in, the more regularly, the more likely something was going to happen. It's not like they hadn't all seen it, even in the project itself, after all. That, and this war had been going on for longer than she'd been alive already, and there wasn't really a clean end in sight.

#perpetualxfire #* IC #[ he just wants to be a DAD and have a few ANIMALS and TWO KIDS (a boy and a girl) ] #[ and he has put a great deal of thought into this even though it also makes him sad ] #* QUEUE

[doctahleonardchurch]

"Jesus, have you been awake the entire night?" for North from either laughsatafuneral or knockknockmate

@knockknockmate

"Good morning to you, too." It's said with an air of amusement while North tends to his nth cup of coffee—he might have lost track of just how many it had been over the course of the night. Honestly, if it hadn't been for the slow trickle of freelancers and staff milling about, he wasn't sure he would have even known it was morning yet.

"Not... the entire night. I caught a few naps here and there. I'm alright though." Nowhere near alright enough that, given the opportunity, he wouldn't crash on the nearest surface for the next ten hours. But that was neither here nor there. The man stirred another spoonful of sugar into his mug and took a long sip before continuing.

"Theta was a bit restless; guess I ended up staying up a bit longer than intended. How obvious is it?"

#knockknockmate #* IC | NORTH #[ listen. I gotta jump on wyoming bc I love him. but I left it vague so if you're not feeling him I'm also happy to talk to florida :) ] #* QUEUE

[doctahleonardchurch]

Truthfully... with his knack for anticipating the direction his conversations might go in—at least, his conversations with Malcolm Hargrove—somehow, the Director still managed to miss the fact that that would be the most inevitable outcome. Yes, of course he would be lingering until the report was done. In all fairness, he had fully intended on completing some amended version of only the information he was willing to dole out, but there was something about being watched that just made it that much more daunting.

He didn't want to do it anymore.

The old man suppressed his long-suffering roll of the eyes, his disgusted sigh; what a miserable old bastard.

"What can I say? There's only so much entertainment to be had in the workplace. Sometimes you've just got to find ways to make your own." And there was no better person to use for his entertainment than the one standing before him. "You make for very pleasant company, dear Chairman. Has anybody ever told you as much?"

"And that, dear Director, is all I wanted in the first place." Hargrove rolled his eyes toward the ceiling in the most long-suffering of ways. "I will, of course, be waiting here so that you might hand-deliver such a report to me. I know how finicky the mail service can be in far space, even over secure transmissions." In other words, Church was not going to be able to claim the email was sent; he didn't know why it hadn't landed in Hargrove's inbox.

"I dont quite understand why you feel the need to go round and round in circles like this every time. It would be faster if you just cooperated. There's almost a form letter that just asks you to fill in the blanks!"

#ceohargrove #* IC #[ chairman: I'm waiting here until you give me those papers directly ] #[ director: well now I am not doing it >:( ] #* QUEUE

[doctahleonardchurch]

It had been a thought in the back of the old man's mind, mainly because it was guaranteed fact that things weren't going to get better until the things that preceded them were acknowledged. Those things might have festered and turned into irreparable damage at some point, and with that knowledge, any attempt at repairing them just felt insurmountable. And it felt unfair to worm his way back into his daughter's life after all the damage he'd caused—he wouldn't say so aloud, but for the life of him, it almost stumped the Director to think that she would even want such a thing.

Yet, here she was. Though, there was something about Carolina's stiffness, her own unwillingness to let her guard down in such an uncomfortable situation, that shot a dagger right through his heart. How could things have gotten this bad? No—how could he have let things get this bad?

"I wouldn't blame you for being angry with me, you know. You'd have every right in the world to be." It almost felt wrong for her not to be, even if he was secretly glad that things likely weren't going to get ugly during their inevitable time together. The old man sighed himself as Carolina breathed her true sentiment, one hand carding anxiously through his hair; of course she was tired. He was tired himself.

"... Carolina, please have a seat." Neither of them were ready for this discussion. That much was obvious. But if they waited until one or both of them were ready, then it was likely never going to happen. For as uncomfortable as the thought was, yanking him out of whatever false comfort zone he'd settled into within the last couple years, he was far more uncomfortable thinking that they would always be this way if they couldn't talk.

"There's no better time than the present to deal with this... looming elephant, I suppose. Right?" If nothing else, he at least owed it to her to try, even if things didn't end up going perfectly.

@doctahleonardchurch (cont. from)

To be fair, she hadn't been much better, had she? Sidestepping the issue and avoiding direct conversation herself also had not made progress. There were a lot of emotions to work through, that was for sure - and each more complicated than the last.

"I suspect," she started a little slowly, pondering her words carefully, "That the only way we're going to be able to move forward is... To address the elephant in the room directly. Because... As long as that's there, I don't think we'll be able to move forward."

They'd both already tried ignoring the topic, after all, and that had gotten them nowhere. In direct contrast to her father's fidgeting, Carolina's hands stiffened up, hands stiffly open, a poorly concealed effort to avoid expressing discomfort, as if her vocal expression didn't give away how she was feeling about what she was saying better than body language ever could. She was making a conscious effort to avoid crossing her arms, but they were so stiffly at her sides as to look almost unnatural. Even a hand on her hip would feel more relaxed.

"Healing is... hard. But... If we want to make progress, we have to talk about it." Which is why she was here. She was tense about it - almost as if worried that he'd reject the idea, or worried that it wouldn't be worth the effort. Honestly, even she wasn't entirely sure what she was worried about.

"If it helps, I'm not mad. I can't be." She'd tried to be; holding anger like that was exhausting, and simply not worth the effort. It wasn't genuine anymore, anyway.

"I'm just... Tired." Her posture visibly relaxed when she said that, as if even making that admission was a huge weight off of her back - but it also served to send the point home. Her eyes briefly flicked to a seat nearby, but she didn't want to invite herself to linger - not unless he was ready. She was serious when she said she wanted him to choose.

#perpetualxfire #* IC #[ YOU - QUIET LSDKFJSDFH (I feel the same way about your replies though ;;) ] #[ that's half the reason I take so long. because yours are so GOOD and I need to live up TO THAT ] #[ but also no worries man. they're literally Way overdue for this discussion lmao- ] #* QUEUE

[doctahleonardchurch]

     “If you’re trying to talk me into becoming a fan of frogs, you’re going to have to try a lot harder than that.” Which is not an invitation.

... Although, this video was a little compelling. My god, that’s its war cry...

#perpetualxfire #* IC #[ she's making a Dent ] #[ PROLONGED DOG TOY NOISES (but angry) ]

[doctahleonardchurch]

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#me going through and deleting old tumblr IMs (mostly bc I had a lot of spam and just ended up continuing down the list) #and I see a lot of messages that I just like. straight up ignored. #and now I'm like. jesus. did I used to be an asshole or was I just unsure of how to talk to people #I'm an asshole Now but I didn't think I was back then #* OOC