doctoralpha

[doctoralpha]

I would be the worst spy of all time because on one hand I overshare like hell, but on the other hand I also have THE shittiest memory so it’s really a lose/lose scenario for everyone involved.

[doctoralpha]

I need to be kidnapped by kind aliens who take me to the alien vet and they know exactly what's wrong with me and they cure me and feed me nutritious meals

[doctoralpha]

[doctoralpha]

[doctoralpha]

❗⚠️❗ERROR❗⚠️❗

This user has completed Too Many Tasks And has been temporarily replaced by

Potato

Please do not disturb Potato until further notice

[doctoralpha]

When I was “I want him” about a male character im not saying I wanna fuck him. I want him like a spoiled little girl wants a pony, I want to him so I can put him on my shelf for safekeeping, I want him like a good hearty stew on a winter’s evening, I want to put him in a jar and shake it.

[doctoralpha]

I could be your ibuprofriend :).....or your advillain >:)

[doctoralpha]

[doctoralpha]

[doctoralpha]

Listen it wasn’t the most baffling thing in the world when Netflix canceled Lockwood and co even tho it performed well bc let’s be real, Netflix will basically cancel a show if it breathes wrong…

But do you think that Netflix actually canceled Lockwood and co bc around the time it aired they’d aquired the rights to dead boy detectives (a show with a competingly similar premise to Lockwood and co that has Neil Gaiman attached who’s had two very successful shows in the last few years with Netflix and Amazon prime)… because I do.

Like to me that’s the missing puzzle piece of what happened there

[doctoralpha]

Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.

Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.

[doctoralpha]

[doctoralpha]

My favorite pirate joke is “why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they spend years at c” not because it’s THAT funny but because it’s a relatively simple joke that nobody ive told it to has ever correctly guessed the punchline for because they all think it’s gonna be a joke about arrrr

[doctoralpha]

[doctoralpha]

I'm just saying, if there's a curse that runs along your family line and you don't tell your kids about it, how the hell are they supposed to go on a quest to stop it?

[doctoralpha]

we need more women who are just fucking losers

[doctoralpha]