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doctxrdoctxr · 2 days
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photos from when i was hospitalized
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doctxrdoctxr · 2 days
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doctxrdoctxr · 2 days
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doctxrdoctxr · 13 days
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government is trying to ban tiktok meanwhile millions of poor and disabled americans are about to completely lose their internet access at the end of april because congress wont renew funding for the affordable connectivity program
hell fucking world
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doctxrdoctxr · 16 days
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Pill water bottle by bestlyft
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doctxrdoctxr · 17 days
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doctxrdoctxr · 18 days
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Tips to disarm Delusions
Let’s get personal. Sometimes I have delusions that my Tumblr feed is sending me messages from a cosmic source. Sometimes I have delusions that my Spotify’s Discover Weekly playlist is sending me messages. Last week I freaked out because half the songs in my DW playlist were about water or fire or some sort of element. Idk why that matters but believe me, at the time it felt IMPORTANT. These are Delusions of Reference, meaning that at the time I feel like the Universe is sending a special message just for me. But I’ve been getting way better at logic-ing myself out when those sources start to trigger me too much and I would like to share.
1. Touch something- Physically ground yourself. This can do wonders if you’re having really abstract delusions. It connects you to the physical world and encourages you to connect with reality.
2. Think in terms of probability- Out of the millions of people who use Spotify, why would there be anything groundbreaking about my playlist alone? If I follow a Tumblr blog, why would they blog things specifically meaningful to me? People blog things that they like. I might connect with a blog’s content because I have things in common with the blog’s creator. 
3. Say your delusions out loud- Sometimes vocally saying, “Right now I’m experiencing psychosis and I believe that a cosmic force is telling me I should spend more time outside because several songs on my playlist had the words “Mountain” or “River” in them.” It sounds stupid when you say it out loud. That’s the point.
4. Contact a friend- One of my friends is the most logical and grounded person I know. Sometimes I talk to her when I feel psychotic and she immediately sets me straight and says “There’s no fucking way people would blog things specifically for you.” And I’m immediately like, “You are so right. Thanks bitch.” This is why a good support network is so important.
5. Turn off the trigger- Instead of listening to the playlist that has trigger words in it, I switch to a Calming Piano playlist. I still get to listen to music but I am not burdened by the lyrics when I’m in a sensitive state.
6. You aren’t Special-  If I see a Chris Hemsworth gif that feels eerily similar to a conversation I just had, I say “You aren’t the only person on Earth who has a crush on Chris Hemsworth.” If I’m listening to my Discover Weekly playlist and feeling emotional about someone and a love song comes on, that’s because love songs are common. Half of music is love songs if you count it all up. Your emotions and interests are not nearly as specific as you think they are. 
7. Just go to Bed- If the night is already ruined, just slap your hand on the reset button. Seriously, sometimes just going to bed is better than staying up and letting yourself be tormented.
8. Remember the Sensations of Psychosis- For me that means feeling far away and out of my body. It also means feeling like my face is numb and tingling. Beyond that it feels like my ears are turned off and my pulse increases. When I get that creepy fluid psychotic sensation I think, “Well fuck this is Psychosis.”
9. Don’t Drink or do Drugs- This sounds like it’s obvious, but if you don’t realize you’re psychotic, it’s easy to make mistakes. The goal is to ground yourself, realize that what you’re feeling isn’t logical, and place your consciousness back inside your body. Mind altering substances will cause a bad trip.
10. Count things- It might sound dumb but it’s a good grounding technique to say something like, “There are four windows in this room, one cat, one computer, and one person. There is nobody here talking to me. I am alone in this room.” It can also help distract yourself from the delusional thoughts if you feel unable to pull yourself back into your body. “There are 12 magazines on the table, four legs on the table, eight succulent plants…”
 11. Use real time Physical Sensations- Notice the way your body feels. Notice the way you are rhythmically breathing. Notice the discomfort of your ass sitting in a weird position. Squeeze your arm. Notice how it feels painful. Your body is alive and you are living in it.
People might judge you for being psychotic because they don’t understand psychosis. But I feel like it’s better to talk about this stuff versus acting ashamed or like it makes you crazy. Who cares if you’re crazy anyway? If you were crazy and you still managed to live a normal life, who really cares? And yes, I’m already on antipsychotics. They don’t prevent everything. 
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doctxrdoctxr · 18 days
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This is not like a fully completed thought but yk
So I've done my first aid + CPR a few times. And every single time I try and bring up scenarios for fat folks
Specifically like 'what if someone is too large for me to wrap my arms around then to do the heimleich'
And its incredibly rare I get a decent answer.
How absolutely insane is it that me, as a fat person, is asking how to have MY life saved or to save ANOTHER life, is an impossible feat if someone is fat.
Most of the time they tell me to 'just try anyways uwu'
There has got to be a better option.
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doctxrdoctxr · 19 days
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Donate Insulin and medication to diabetics in Gaza
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doctxrdoctxr · 23 days
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My dear lgbt+ kids,
Can you have a healthy relationship with a narcissist?
Well, if you trust many social media posts, then the answer would be a resounding "No". Narcissistic is - apparently - a synonym for abusive, and of course you can't have a healthy relationship with an abusive partner!
But, well, social media is not always right. A lot of topics get oversimplified, terms get misused and black-or-white thinking is rampant - and "narcissistic means abusive" falls into all three of those pits.
Let's look at it a bit closer: "Abusive" describes a set of behaviors - while narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) describes, well, a personality disorder. It's a mental health condition.
I am not a trained mental health professional, so I'll use a medical source here. According to mayoclinic.org (link to article), symptoms and their intensity may vary from one affected person to the next (just like the exact symptoms and severity of depression or anxiety may vary!). A person with NPD may
have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance
have an excessive need for attention and admiration
have low/no empathy (struggle to understand or care about the feelings of others)
have low self-worth
be easily upset by criticism
struggle with social interactions
have difficulty managing their emotions
experience major problems dealing with stress 
And, again just like with other mental health conditions, NPD can negatively affect the person in a lot of areas of life. For example, struggling to manage their emotions and stress levels may make it hard for them to hold down a job and cause financial worries, or they may avoid participating in social events, which may lead to them becoming isolated and depressed etc. And yes, of course some symptoms may also lead to problems in romantic relationships.
Therapy for NPD usually centers around talk therapy, with the goal of helping the person to better understand and manage their emotions, to learn how to cope with self-worth issues, and to create/maintain healthy fulfilling relationships and communication with the people around them.
Now, you can look at all this and go "See? The social media posts are right! They are self-centered, have no empathy and are easily upset! That's abusive!" - but that'd be jumping to conclusions. None of those things are behaviors.
An autistic person may also easily get upset and they may also feel low empathy. So could a person with major depression. Yet, we do not treat "autistic" or "depressed" as a synonym for abusive. We do not assume that their symptoms will definitely lead to abusive behavior. So, why would that be different for people with NPD?
Am I saying no person with NPD has ever been abusive? Of course not. That'd be black-or-white thinking, too. What I am saying is: People with NPD are people. And people can show abusive behavior or they can not.
If someone who easily feels upset hits you, that's abuse... but hitting would be abuse, even if they didn't feel easily upset. A partner with or without NPD shouldn't be hitting you. If someone with no empathy degrades and insults you, that's abusive... but that would be abuse regardless of their ability to feel empathy. A partner with or without NPD shouldn't be degrading and insulting you.
A person could have NPD and behave abusive - but "some people are X and Y, so all people who are X must be Y" is a flawed logic.
So, let's circle back to the beginning: can you have a healthy relationship with a narcissist? Yeah. It will be a relationship with someone who has a mental health condition and that's something to be aware of because mental health conditions do affect everyday life (duh?).
You should set boundaries and take warning signs of abuse seriously - like you should do when you date anyone, regardless of health status.
With all my love,
Your Tumblr Dad
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doctxrdoctxr · 24 days
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doctxrdoctxr · 26 days
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doctxrdoctxr · 26 days
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doctxrdoctxr · 26 days
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doctxrdoctxr · 26 days
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pharmacist’s display
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