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dontmindanna · 9 hours ago
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Kleinsen Headcanons
(In a seperate post cuz it’s a ship and they’re special. I’ll definitely be adding to these later, so keep that in mind.)
Childhood:
They met in kindergarten.
Heidi and Mrs. Kleinman arranged more play dates for them after that.
Evan never liked playing video games solo. He’d either play with Jared or watch him play. Jared always talks while he plays and it relaxes Evan. He was obviously very supportive of Jared’s YouTube gamer phase.
The game they played together most was minecraft. Evan would be building a pretty house and garden and stuff while Jared robbed villagers.
They also played a lot of Pokémon.
Jared had Loads of stuffed animals, his parents pretty much always got him one for any holiday involving gifts. He had them piled neatly in the corner of his bed so he could take a running start and jump in the pile. No one was allowed to touch it but him and Evan. On Evan’s birthday, Jared let him pick one to keep only if he pinky promised to take good care of it.
Evan was very selectively mute as a child. At school, he only really spoke to Jared in whispers, which no one really noticed, so everyone thought he was mute and that he and Jared just had some weird telepathic link.
When Heidi and Mark divorced, Heidi sent Evan to play with Jared a bunch more, so he wouldn’t have to be around the emptier house as much. Jared’s mom basically let Evan and Jared spend whole weeks together over the summer. They became more attached to one another through that.
After the divorce, the Kleinman’s invited Evan and Heidi over for most holidays that they spent at home. And when Heidi stopped being able to make it, they’d still take Evan.
Halloween was their favorite holiday to spend together. They sometimes did joint costumes that their moms always took pictures of. Jared always spoke for them at the doors, “My friend is shy, but he wants candy too!” They raked in TONS of candy because people thought they were just the cutest. They’d spend the whole night sorting through their candy, giving the ones neither of them wanted to their parents and trading each other for pieces like they were pokecards.
Speaking of: Jared definitely collected pokecards. Evan never really got many, but Jared always gave him the cute little grass types he didn’t need that he knew Evan liked. Evan loved them and kept them all in a safe little shoebox in his room.
Jared’s mom took them on trips to the water park the next town over. They counted cows together on the way, each of them taking a side. Jared’s dad would write the numbers down for them.
As a very little kid Jared liked to bite things. Fingers included. If a hand is near his face, he noms. Sometimes Evan would let him do it, silently observing like a scientist, wondering how long it would talk him to notice he was even doing it. (Bonus from a friend- as Evan proudly shows of a scar on his finger, Jared: I did that)
Future:
When Evan goes to decide his new name(as in getting rid of the ‘Mark’), he wouldn’t be able to decide, so he’d let Jared pick. Jared jokes around for a while about it (“...Ass.” “Jared, please take this seriously!”) before just giving Evan a sticky note he’s not supposed to open till he gets there. He’s scared of what he’s gonna find and thinks he’ll probably have to find something else on the spot, but when he opens it up, it’s actually a thoughtful name.
If Jared proposes, it would be something a little bit silly, but 100% thoughtful. He would likely take Evan either somewhere they had some past milestone in their relationship, or a place some random inside joke of theirs occurred.
If Evan proposed, it would be spontaneous. He would rather wait for the moment than create it because he wants it to be natural, so he would just carry the ring around with him. He also wouldn’t say much. When the moment came, he’d find a way to silently insert the ring, not really needing to say a word.
Neither of them would propose with diamonds. The price, size, and rarity of the gem doesn’t always equal the sentimentality. They’d get more choked up if they got the other a jewel the color of their eyes or something.
A small wedding for sure. Only immediate family and close friends for the ceremony and then other relatives invited for the reception.
They would stick simple in their vows because they both know they’d be sobbing. Then, later, they’d give each other their real, more thought-out vows to read in silence next to one another.
Either they’d hyphenate or Jared would take Evan’s name.
They would start off in a crappy apartment halfway through college, but eventually get a house with a backyard big enough for a garden and a nice kitchen.
Cat.
They’d adopt a girl and name her June.
Pre-dating Pining:
Evan,,,,sort of avoids Jared more than usual? Before he realizes it’s a crush, of course. He just starts feelings extra weird and sweaty around Jared and the butterflies make it really hard to breath, so he starts avoiding him a bit, which doesn’t go well at all because he immediately starts missing him. Zoe or his mom or someone would confront him about why he’s being weird and that’s when he realizes he’s not just nervous, he’s in love.
Evan is very oblivious, to both others feelings and especially his own. Partially because Jared has always just been there, a part of his life. How was he supposed to know how it felt to want someone if he’s just always had what he’s needed right next to him? Until that part of him is taken away. Absence very much does make the heart grow fonder. Jared was a consistency in his life and when he starts disappearing from it, only then does Evan start to realize what a big hole that leaves behind.
Jared has been crushing for longer, roughly around eight grade. Evan wasn’t his awakening per say—he’d liked a couple guys before that without even knowing it—but he was the one that made Jared realize he was gay. He spent the most time around him, after all.
General:
Jared is kinda touch-starved and Evan is his only real source of physical affection, so that makes him extra clingy, but that’s okay. Evan can be clingy too.
They both react to jealousy differently. If Evan were to see Jared with another person who may be flirting with him. He just sorta gets sad and defeated, like he’s already lost him. He’s never been a fighter. Jared, on the other hand, gets very clingy and finds any excuse he can to be near Evan as much as possible, clinging to his place in Evan’s life. The family friends thing plays into this. It allows him to stay close but now make Evan think too hard about it. Overall for both of them it all comes back to the fact that they think they don’t deserve each other and that the other is bound to realize that they’re destined for greater at any promoting g and leave.
Jared liked to pretend he’s the big spoon but he is an absolute little spoon, he needs to be held, and Evan likes to hold him. It makes him feel safe, like he’s tethered to something.
Evan is a bit of an early bird whereas Jared is a night owl, so they both get periods of time where they just listen to the other’s breathing to help lull them to sleep/gather energy for the day.
They wouldn’t go to prom. It’s not really their scene and it’s too expensive. They would, however, dance in their sweatpants in Evan’s living room and then watch movies while cuddled up until they both fall asleep.
Jared has a routine for Evan’s anxiety attacks. Take him away from the stressful situation, or, if he’s hiding somewhere, take him somewhere else to hide; with anxiety, moving place to place can help trick your brain that you’ve outrun the danger. He puts Evan’s hand over his chest and breath exaggeratedly for Evan to try and copy. Once he can breath, He asks if he can hug him. If no, he just holds his hand, if yes, he does. He then starts to just talk for Evan to listen, often adding humor to lighten the mood. He always keeps his voice casual and calm, like this is the most normal thing in the world. He makes sure Evan drinks water while he’s talking and, once he’s fully calm, if there’s time for it, lets him take a nap on him.
When Jared feels overwhelmed or tired, he collapses in Evan’s lap while he reads. Evan will pet his hair but remain otherwise silent as Jared replenishes his energy.
Evan likes to kiss Jared’s hands. Sometimes Jared will squish Evan’s face in his hands and Evan will just turn his face and kiss his palm and Jared completely melts
Sincerely Me and For Forever are both kleinsen songs, try me- they’re both Evan and Jared projecting their past friendship and desire to have it back onto Connor. They miss each other.
Evan has all these random dark freckles and sun spots on his arms and shoulders from the time he spends outside and Jared likes to randomly observe them while they’re cuddling.
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dontmindanna · 2 days ago
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dontmindanna · 2 days ago
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10 Kittens Hanging Out In Pockets
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dontmindanna · 3 days ago
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Richie talking to Eddie: if I had a 1,000,000 dollars, I'd pay your mother to have sex with me, afterwards I'd probably invest the remaining 999,990 dollars, boom, that's right, 10 dollars for sex with your mother *clap* comedy
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dontmindanna · 5 days ago
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Is it REALLY a real Fandom if there isn't a Coffee shop au?
/j
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dontmindanna · 6 days ago
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Richie: Sometimes I don’t realize that an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice that Eddie is staring at me weird.
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dontmindanna · 6 days ago
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*mumbling* I can't believe I watched this whole show just for this queer bitch to be in 11 episodes
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dontmindanna · 6 days ago
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I think I found Richie’s whole closet
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dontmindanna · 7 days ago
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the presents from someone who actually listens to your blabbering or notices all those little things about you are the best ones
(they can finally flip off people together what a dream come true for craig)
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dontmindanna · 7 days ago
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source
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dontmindanna · 7 days ago
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Craig pointing at Thomas: i hope this doesn't awaken anything in me
*a while later*
Graing hoding Tweeks hand: it did
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dontmindanna · 7 days ago
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dontmindanna · 7 days ago
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Kyle and Stan are what I like to call "the probably-shit-talking-you-behind-your-back" best friends
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dontmindanna · 8 days ago
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i made this for propaganda purposes.
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dontmindanna · 8 days ago
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:/
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dontmindanna · 8 days ago
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Mileven & Byler parallels [part 5/10]
(posted on ig: 12/07/19)
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dontmindanna · 8 days ago
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*touches a boy once*
The girls of Avonlea: 
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