dragonbe-laggin

[dragonbe-laggin]

bloodsucker.

early access + nsfw on patreon

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for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

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genuinely begging for good anxiety med stories rn.

i’ve been anxious for as long as I can remember and it is debilitating for me (especially now that i’m in college and on my own) and I want to start meds

but every person i’ve talked to has said “hmm. just make sure you don’t become dependent on them. make sure you can still function without them.”

but genuinely i am NOT functioning. and i can get them for free through my school with minimal effort. i just need encouragement.

#anxiety #anxiety medication #unsure #mentally ill #please like everyone thinks it’s a bad idea #but i genuinely just want to function #help help help

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the bots keep coming man. what on earth is happening

#maybe stop jerking them off bro. idk

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im the prettiest canary in this mine

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40,000 years ago, early humans painted hands on the wall of a cave. This morning, my baby cousin began finger painting. All of recorded history happened between these two paintings of human hands. The Nazca Lines and the Mona Lisa. The first TransAtlantic flight and the first voyage to the Moon. Humanity invented the wheel, the telescope, and the nuclear bomb. We eradicated wild poliovirus types 2 and 3. We discovered radio waves, dinosaurs, and the laws of thermodynamics. Freedom Riders crossed the South. Hippies burned their draft cards. Countless genocides, scientific advancements, migrations, and rebellions. More than a hundred billion humans lived and died between these two paintings—one on a sheet of paper, and one on the inside of a cave. At the dawn of time, ancient humans stretched out their hands. And this morning, a child reached back. 

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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

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100k notes and i'll @ my crush on this post

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i’ll forgive a fat girl for so many annoying things simply because i know how fucking miserable it is to be a fat girl. like. you dont get to exist freely and with any joy until you go through a decades long soul search full of extreme emotional pain OR you nearly kill yourself to become something society might accept. or you toughen up after years of bullying forced you to be more confident. literally there is no painless route to being a fat girl in your 20 somethings. so like. fat girls can be annoying as a treat. you have all been annoying our whole lives

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This is the noise I think u make when u die: YEAH 

#lil wayne when he fucking dies

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can someone please be proud of me like fuck I’m trying

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Learning German & Staying alive

☄  https://german.net/ - free online resource with some tests, text, and planty more. Great for reading and reading comprehention;

☄ https://germanwithlaura.com - great course that explains grammar a bit more manageable;

☄ https://www.clozemaster.com - somewhat of a duolingo-copy, gamification at ift greatest. From 100 to 50 000 common words in context, can be used for free;

☄ https://wunderdeutsch.com/uk/grammatik-null-u/ - grammar, but in ukrainian. Helpful;

☄ https://golernen.com/ - more grammar, with ukrainian language avaliable;

☄ https://piracywhiskeypoetry.tumblr.com/post/136460408137/language-resources-masterpost - masterpost with multiple language;

☄ https://mein-deutschbuch.de/grammatik.html - another damn grammar

☄ https://www.quia.com/web - tests, some fun stuff.

sheesh I would need to make it pretty, but for now will do

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shaking six year old me by the shoulders YOU WERE RIGHT. YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT LOVE AND ABOUT FAIRNESS AND ABOUT SHARING IS CARING. YOU WERE RIGHT. THE ADULTS DON’T KNOW ANY MORE ABOUT TRUTH THAN YOU DO. KEEP BELIEVING IN THE FAIRIES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE GARDEN. NOTHING IS “JUST THE WAY IT IS”. I AM SORRY THEY EVER CONVINCED YOU TO FEEL SHAME. YOU ARE REAL AND A PART OF THIS WORLD. YOU WERE RIGHT.

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Tips to write for König (language)

Masterlist Let's go! But first important disclaimer

I know well, that Konig is from Austria and German language is a bit different from Austrian. The only reason, I'm doing this list for German language instead of Austrian: I know German well enough to personally check every phrase on my list. I live in southern Germany since 2019 and understand written Austrian, but would not venture to make a similar list for phrases in Austrian.

These phrases are not headcanons - just useful helpers for my fellow ficwriters!

I`ve tried to keep this list SFW, so there is no really kinky stuff or any swear words. But if you guys are interested - I can try to bring such a naughty list together as well.

Neither English nor German are my first languages, so there's a possibility of a mistake always.

Thank you to absolutely beautiful soul @konigsblog for encouraging me doing this.

So, you want König to speak German in your story, but don't know how to get him to? There is nothing easier.

(very) Ground rules

All nouns, names (and nicknames) are always capitalized.

Here are a few useful letters, so that you don't search for them on your keyboard: ä, ö, ü, Ä, Ö, Ü.

"my/your + masculine noun" = mein/dein + noun or name (e.g. Mein Horangi)

"my/your + feminine noun" = meine/deine + noun or name (e.g. Meine Josephine)

"chen" is a diminutive suffix (We'll need that with pet names).

A few German pet names

Keywords to google: Kosename (+ für Männer/für Frauen (for men and women))

Genderless (can be used, referring to both men and women, depending on relationship dynamic):

Schatz / Schatzi - the ultimate killer and number one pet name out there. "Treasure". Is very often used in public.

Liebling / Liebe - "Lover, love"

Herz / Herzchen - "Heart"

Süßi - "Sweet one"

Baby / Babe - yep, it's not in German, but it's very popular here among people younger than 50.

Engel / Engelchen - "Angel/angel + diminutive suffix"

Mein Ein und Alles - "My everything" a rather pompous expression, but it can be used when speaking directly to a lover.

Herzblatt - "Darling"

Goldstück - "Jewel. Piece of gold" a bit like treasure.

Sonne / Sonnenschein - "Sun / sunshine"

Himmel - "Heaven"

Stern / Sternchen - "Star"

Kätzchen - "Kitten"

Schneckchen - "Snail". I know, this one sounds strange, but I've heard it here a lot. And this is not even referring to someone slow

Tiger / Babytiger / Tigerchen - "Tiger / tiger cub"

Babylöwe - "Lion cub"

Zimtschnecke - "Cinnamon bun"

Also you all know and use Maus (which is great!!!!!), bit there are also options of Mausi, Babymaus and Mäuschen!

Feminine and masculine versions of pet names

Süße / Süßer - "Sweet one"

Schöne / Schöner - "Beautiful one"

Liebste / Liebster / Angebetete / Angebeteter / Geliebte / Geliebter - "Beloved"

Kleine - "Little one"

Großer - "Big one"

Heldin / Held - "Hero/ heroine"

Hübsche / Hübscher - "Beauty"

Ok, here is the part, where we get him to talk dirty to us.

Before

Ich brauche dich jetzt wirklich - "I really need you right now"

Es macht mich so an, auch nur an dich zu denken - "It turns me on just thinking about you"

Ich kann es nicht erwarten, dich in mir zu spüren/in dir zu sein - "I can't wait to feel you inside me/be inside you"

Ich will dir so einen blasen/dich so lecken, wie du es noch nie erlebt hast - "I want to give you a blowjob/lick you like you've never experienced before"

Ich möchte dich küssen, überall... - "I want to kiss you everywhere"

Du kannst heute Abend mit mir machen, was du willst - "Today you can do anything you want to me."

Ich kann es kaum erwarten, bis wir beide allein sind, damit ich dich ausziehen kann. - "I can't wait until we're both alone so I can undress you."

Ich stelle mir uns gerade nackt zusammen vor - "I'm thinking of us naked right now."

Ich hatte gerade einen eindrucksvollen Flashback von letzter Nacht - "I just had an amazing flashback from last night"

Wollen wir heute früh ins Bett gehen? - "Shall we go to bed early tonight?"

During

Das/du fühlst dich super an - "This/you feel great"

Ich liebe es, wie groß/feucht/weich du dich anfühlst - "I love how big/wet/soft you feel"

Bitte hör nie wieder damit auf - "Please don't stop doing this"

Das ist das beste Gefühl überhaupt - "That's the best feeling ever"

Du machst mich so an - "you turn me on (so hard on)"

Ich will, dass du mich nimmst - "I want you to take me"

Ich will dich schmecken - "I want to taste you"

Ich will, dass du kommst - "I want you to cum"

Ich habe deinen Körper so sehr vermisst - "I've missed your body so badly"

Ich will, dass du mich hier/da leckst/küsst - "I want you to lick/kiss me here/there"

Gutes/Böses Mädchen - "Good/bad girl"

If you want him to be more soft, here are some romantic phrases in German.

The (very) basics

Ich liebe dich - "I love you"

Willst du mein Freund/meine Freundin sein? - "Do you want to be my boyfriend/girlfriend?"

Ich bin bis über beide Ohren verliebt - "I’m head over heels in love"

Ich steh’ auf dich - "I’m into you"

Du bist die Liebe meines Lebens - "You’re the love of my life"

Du hast wunderschöne/schöne Augen - "You have beautiful eyes"

Küss mich - "Kiss me"

If you want something more advanced

Ich vermisse dich noch mehr, als ich jemals gedacht habe. - "I miss you even more than I ever thought it was possible"

Es gibt Freunde, es gibt Feinde und es gibt Menschen wie dich, die man vor lauter Liebe nie vergisst. Ich vermisse dich! - "There are friends, there are enemies and there are people like you who you never forget out of sheer love. I miss you!"

Ich zähle die Tage, Stunden und Minuten bis du wieder bei mir bist. - "I count the days, hours and minutes until you are with me again."

Unsere Sehnsucht wird immer größer, je weniger wir sie befriedigen können. - "Our longing grows ever greater, the less we can satisfy it."

Für mich ist jeder Morgen ein guter Morgen, weil ich weiß, dass ich dich an meiner Seite habe. - "For me every morning is a good morning because I know that I have you by my side."

Ich zähle die Stunden, bis du wieder bei mir bist. - "I'm counting the hours until you're with me again."

Ich weiß, das mit uns beiden ist mehr als nur Freundschaft. - "I know there's more to the two of us than just friendship."

Das nächste Mädchen, das ich lieben werde, wird unsere Tochter sein. - "The next girl I will love will be our daughter."

Ich wünschte, ich wäre der Wind, der sanft durch deine Haare streicht, die Sonne, die dich zärtlich berührt und der Mond, der deinen Schlaf bewacht. - "I wish I were the wind that gently caresses your hair, the sun that caresses you and the moon that watches over your sleep."

Jeden Tag wünsche ich mir, dass das zwischen uns niemals endet. - "Every day I wish that this never ends between us."

Mit dir an meiner Seite kann ich mich der ganzen Welt stellen. - "With you by my side I can face (fight) the whole world."