dreaming-colourful-skies

[dreaming-colourful-skies]

🌘 “I thought you were gonna show me the light…!”

Even now, Chuuya’s dream burned quietly under his skin—a yearning that hurt.

Dazai didn’t understand.

Preview of my piece for @skkangstzine: 🌖

I can't wait to see everyone's creations!!

Pre-orders are open until May 5. Join us, if you’d like, for all the Soukoku angst!

🔗 https://skkangstzine.bigcartel.com

#bsd zine #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #skk #so many cool ppl are involved omg

[dreaming-colourful-skies]

lore accurate double black battle scene

#skk fanart #bsd art #ahhhh

[dreaming-colourful-skies]

do not disturb!

#bsd art #cute

[dreaming-colourful-skies]

Not a serious drawing, just wanted to have fun and do some soft Soukoku.

#bsd #bsd art

[dreaming-colourful-skies]

Does killua know gon loves him?

Hi anon! This is such a simple question, but not a simple one to answer. I'll do my best, though!

So, I think the answer is both yes and no, in different ways.

Yes, in the sense that Gon has directly expressed his appreciation of and admiration towards Killua multiple times, said he enjoys being with him and wants to stay with him, and even called him his best friend at the end of Greed Island (really BEST friend, 最高の友達, saikou no tomodachi--I think the translation of "best friend in the whole world" gets the emphasis of this phrase across pretty well).

He said it "Has to be Killua," (キルアじゃなきゃダメなんだ, Killua ja nakya dame nanda) in the dodgeball match, which has implications both during the match and outside of it, that Killua is the only one he fully trusts and the only one who can be by his side for something this pivotal. This phrase has romantic implications, essentially the subtextual meaning is "Killua is the only one for me," hence why Killua reacts as strongly as he does to it. Notice how much he hides his face on this page.

So, I think it's silly to say Killua has no idea Gon cares about him deeply and values him. There are so many moments where Gon says things like this. It's partly why Killua loves Gon so much, because Gon isn't afraid to express that level of love and care and appreciation towards him, as uncomfortable as he acts about it. He's just unused to that receiving kind of praise and attention simply for being himself, rather than being praised for his abilities.

With Killua's views of himself, it's hard for him to fully accept Gon's affection and take it to heart, but luckily Gon is straightforward and doesn't hold back, and keeps repeatedly telling Killua how much he means to him. As the series goes, they form a strong mutual bond and relatively good understanding of each other.

The problem is that multiple things happen in Chimera Ant Arc to disrupt Killua's sense of where he belongs in Gon's life.

He "fails" by fleeing from Pitou with Gon and "leaving Kite to die." While Gon doesn't blame Killua for the decision he made and neither does Kite, Killua nonetheless certainly blames himself for this to a degree. (Remember the scene with Morel and Knov mocking him?) It doesn't help that Bisky tells him that because of his inability to face opponents he sees as stronger than him, he'll eventually leave Gon to die. Then he watches the awful ramifications of what Kite's death does to Gon, knowing he had a role in what happened.

Gon goes on the date with Palm, and Killua variously misinterprets this whole situation to mean that Gon has been on real dates with women previously (I do not think he had been on any dates in an actual romantic sense), Gon actually might have romantic feelings towards Palm, and that they're in some degree of a relationship even after Gon tells her they can't be together and Palm quietly dumps Gon in favor of Knov after the date. This sends Killua spiraling into his whole "Are we friends? Or are we teammates?" concerns, in conjunction with the next factor.

Gon's "I swear... I'll take on that bastard myself," about Pitou, and the later "This has nothing to do with you," line. Remember how much Gon relied on Killua in the dodgeball match, and how much that meant to Killua? Remember how Killua very nearly died and his last thoughts were apologizing that he wasn't more useful to Gon? Killua stakes his whole sense of self on being useful to Gon, so when Gon makes taking down Pitou a solo mission, Killua doesn't know what role he has at Gon's side any more.

I'm sure there are plenty more factors I'm leaving out, but these are the main issues that lead to the gulf that develops between them during the course of Chimera Ant Arc.

Ever after all of this, they're still friends, they're on reasonably good terms when they part even though it's complex and fraught, but there's just so much they're not saying to each other about how they really feel.

I think Killua still knows Gon cares about him with the way they leave off--they agree to stay in touch, say they'll meet again, Killua even teases Gon about the way he treated him a few times and sees that Gon feels awful when he brings it up. I'm sure Gon apologized to Killua when they first saw each other again after all of that, no matter how non-comprehensive that apology may have been.

But, I do think Killua sees his feelings towards Gon as deeper and of a different nature than how he assumes Gon feels towards him. He may even feel a degree of guilt about the extent and nature of his feelings, with an assumption that, as much as Gon cares about him, Gon doesn't reciprocate Killua's romantic feelings. It may be one of many puzzle pieces contributing to the separation.

I think Killua has strong beliefs about Gon not returning his feelings in a romantic sense, which is part of what leads to how much pain he goes through in Chimera Ant Arc and beyond. But these beliefs are less about what Gon does or doesn't do--because *I* believe Gon has romantic feelings for Killua, even though he likely doesn't recognize them as such yet, and obviously in CAA his relationship with Killua is not at the forefront of his mind--but more about how Killua sees himself and how he projects that self-perception on Gon.

The thing is, Killua hasn't directly expressed his feelings (even on a friendship level) towards Gon either. and even hides how much he does for Gon, so Gon also doesn't fully understand the weight and degree of Killua's feelings for him either. He sees what Killua does for him and I'm sure he knows that's a way Killua expresses friendship to him, but at the same time, the reasons or feelings or depth behind those actions remain unspoken, so how is Gon supposed to know fully where Killua is coming from?

As much as he may have some inklings of Killua's feelings from reading his body language and all the time they spent together, it's not something that has been confirmed or stated the way Gon has expressed his feelings. So, it makes sense that these two boys might assume the other doesn't love them back the same way they love each other, because their own self-esteem is so low and they don't see themselves as deserving of the kind of love they have for each other.

So, in response to your question, both yes and no, and "It's complicated," too.

#hunter x hunter #meta #killugon

[dreaming-colourful-skies]

can't stand them

#bsd art #sweet

[dreaming-colourful-skies]

🥃Preorders are now OPEN for Kogarashi: a Soukoku angst zine! 🍷

Order your copy to get 100+ pages of zine-exclusive fics and art, and all of the merch created by our talented contributors!

🗓️CLOSES: May 5th, 11:59PM (EST) 🛒ORDER HERE: https://skkangstzine.bigcartel.com/

⬇️BUNDLES BELOW!⬇️

🥃DIGITAL BUNDLE: DANCE WITH DEATH🍷

Our digital bundle is for those wishing to save on space, including the 100+ pages of exclusive fics and art created by our contributors.

For an additional $5, you can include our NSFW add-on, featuring bonus content from our contributors!

🥃ZINE BUNDLE: EYE OF THE STORM🍷

Featuring a physical copy of the zine, our zine bundle also includes our bookmark, for your reading pleasure!

Both the SFW and NSFW PDFs are available as add-ons for this bundle, which is also eligible for the print stretch goal!👀

🥃PAPER BUNDLE: LAMB TO SLAUGHTER🍷

Our paper bundle includes the zine book and bookmark, as well as other flat merch: the sticker sheet, polaroid prints and die-cut stickers!

This bundle is eligible for the print stretch goal, and both zine PDFS are available as add-ons!📃

🥃FULL BUNDLE: POINT OF SINGULARITY🍷

Kogarashi's full bundle comes with 100+ pages of zine content and ALL merch: our bookmark, die-cut stickers and sticker sheet, polaroid prints, acrylic charm, enamel pin set and tote bag!

This bundle is eligible for ALL stretch goal items!

🥃STRETCH GOALS🍷

Several of our bundles are eligible to unlock stretch goal items if we hit enough orders! They are as follows:

🔒50 ORDERS: Physical bundles unlock two prints!

🔒75 ORDERS: Full bundles unlock an acrylic charm!

🔒100 ORDERS: Full bundles unlock our notepad!

@bsdfanhub RBs appreciated!🥃🍷

#bsd zine #bsd angst #zine details #omg this is going to be so legit

[dreaming-colourful-skies]

🥃CONTRIBUTOR SPOTLIGHT🍷

What @/colourful_sky brings to Soukoku is her delight in the simplest delicacy: hurt-comfort (especially when paired with hope for kinder tomorrows!).

Her writings explore the complexity of what it is to be human: to hunger, to hurt, to heal.

#bsd zine #oh look it's me! ahhh so excited to see everyone's work #pre-orders are open now <3 #bsd angst

[dreaming-colourful-skies]

a little sneak peak of my work for @skkangstzine !!! <3 if you get a physical bundle, you can get a print for FREE (!!!!!)

pre-orders are open until May 5th ;) : skkangstzine.bigcartel.com

it's smth i've been working on for the past few months, and a looot of hard work has gone into it behind the scenes. please come on down n support some brilliant artists & writers <3

#bsd art #bsd zine #yess so exciting :')

[dreaming-colourful-skies]

sorry I wasn’t in the mood to be a person today, sorry I forgot to keep a conversation, sorry my soul needs ironing. give me a moment, a day or a so. it’ll be good. I’ll brush my hair and change my clothes. I’ll laugh a lot. I’ll say important things. it’ll be good.

[dreaming-colourful-skies]

Prepare for trouble! >:D

Poe: I haven't seen Karl in a while...

#bsd art #fusion #wahh cute ahah

[dreaming-colourful-skies]

Just a reminder that Dazai is never going to live down what happened in Mersault.

(Chuuya is never going to let him forget it)

Its been weeks. they are still consuming my every waking thought.

#bsd art

[dreaming-colourful-skies]

I walked past 5 Canada geese standing in a circle honking at each other yesterday, and all I could imagine was a collection of the different Book!Dazais from BEAST in full Goosamu form all doing the same. A gaggle of aggrieved geese in bolo ties honking out their superiority. Just thought the mental image was important to share. uwu

(spot the Dazai reference ↓)

#bsd art #plss i love this

[dreaming-colourful-skies]

clingy and sleepy

#bsd art #skk #cute

[dreaming-colourful-skies]

🥃COVER REVEAL🍷

The date draws near: two weeks remain until preorders open for Kogarashi: a Soukoku zine!

Today we reveal @velaversal's stunning cover for the zine, an intimately tender piece capturing twin flames that burn bright in the dark, and only brighter when together.

More reveals will follow in the upcoming two weeks before pre-orders open, including the merch items and the cover for the zine's NSFW add-on! 👀 Be sure to keep an eye on our socials to stay up-to-date with the fruit of our contributors' labours!

#bsd zine #excitingg

[dreaming-colourful-skies]

…this is my first proper attempt at animating something

#bsd #omg i love them

[dreaming-colourful-skies]

double black at the arcade

#bsd art