I Am The Rock Against Which The Surf Crashes
nothing can break mewarning: you might end up blocking meshe/her | 19 | slytherin | INTJ
We looked inside some of the posts by dreaminginvelaris and here's what we found interesting.
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dreaminginvelaris · 14 hours ago
feyre is simply, perfectly flawed✨🥰
One thing that made me love Feyre from the start was the balance of his characterization. She can say and do horrible things, but there are always good parts of herself to compensate. Feyre always fought for the people she loved, even when she was resentful and didn't need to. And Feyre has every right to feel cold, prickly, and selfish. Her reasons for being upset are at least good and consistent. She has every right to hate Tamlin after all, and yet she still manages to be grateful for what Tamlin has done for her family or Rhysand.
She had every reason in the world not to want to look at her sisters' faces anymore, yet she forgave them both. Feyre can be tough and cruel, but she will always be selfless and kind as well. All these things exist within the same character, so she manages to be sympathetic in the eyes of the reader. Putting all these things together makes her a really real character for me. She's not perfect, she's always learning. She is beautiful and deserves the world✨🥰
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dreaminginvelaris · 14 hours ago
THIS !! and i swear they dont like her as much since shes given up her power, its like if she isnt rude and powerful then she has no use to her stans.
Ykw I, an anti nesta, will be joining the nesta defense squad.
I will be defending that poor character from her shitty stans who can’t stop complaining about every single other character for even a minute to appreciate Nesta’s character growth.
If the only reason you stanned Nesta was because she was mean to other people and mean to people in the IC, then you don’t actually stan her character, you stan the version of her you created in your head. Nesta doesn’t appreciate that.
I have a lot of issues with Nesta, I genuinely don’t like the way she’s been written but I feel BAD for her and the way she’s perceived by her own stans.
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dreaminginvelaris · 14 hours ago
thank you✨ @f-cursebreaker
1) reading
2) my dogs
3) harry styles
4) movies
5) sushi
this was hard, bc there’s so much that make me happy💛
@feysandandnyx @colorlesschristmastree @confused-as-all-hell @s-tormwitch
When you get this, please respond with five things that make you happy! Then, send to the last ten people in your notifications anonymously. You never know who might benefit from spreading positivity~ 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
Aesthetic stuff
And a lot more I can’t think of rn
Thanks for the ask!
Imma just tag the people:
@victoriasfreespace @dragonsareawesome123 @carmen-riddle @sarahthelameturtle @fatpotatosaysmoo @permanentthoughtsshitpoetry @adriel-the-pirate @as-per-argus @jacquessouvenier @lilhappylilsad
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dreaminginvelaris · a day ago
i- im laughing rn. you realize feyre was a child? its normal for children to be careless and not have an interest in men or child rearing. i’d be concerned if a girl her age only thought abt marriage. literally what even is this lmfao💀
I have just been casually reading Silver Flames and I have found this passage where Nesta describes young Feyre.
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Does anyone else not like the character development of Feyre? She went from such an independent character that wasn’t interested in men and child making to what she is now?
Don’t get me wrong I, in some way, adore Feyre but the change has stuck with me.
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dreaminginvelaris · a day ago
out of all the archeron sisters, unfortunately its nesta i see myself most in. but instead of praising her bc she “reminds me of me/i relate so much to her” i see her for what she truly is and do not wish to praise, encourage or romanticize nestas behavior. its okay to see yourself in nesta, but its not okay to think nestas behavior is okay, therefore that your behavior is okay too. its not. nesta and i share similar attitudes but the difference is that i see what is wrong with nesta and myself and i choose not to excuse or justify it. i want to be better than nesta ever will be. i want to be like feyre, bc truly feyre is the best of both sisters.
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dreaminginvelaris · a day ago
tell me what you think of this bestie
IT WAS AMAZING! the way you write, i cant. its gorgeous. literally that was such an amazing little gift you gave me and you need to write a book now bc the world needs to recognize and appreciate your talent.
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dreaminginvelaris · a day ago
omg im blushing bc this is so good and i cant believe i was included 😭
describe some of your mutuals like you describe characters?
this is my fucking honor, and i thank you for the ask
@wafflesandschemingfaces: burning, blazing, indomitable in her beauty. a girl who shone brighter than the sun, all sleepy smiles and birdsong laughs and a scent like sweet lavender. a girl who blossomed like a flower, light petals unfurling, head tipped to the sky. a girl who has been an invaluable friend, a good friend, and a better person still. i would tell her: i love you, i love you, i love you.
@thebonecarver: laughing, listening, lounging in the warmest chambers of my memory. her laughter is a melody of redemption, ghosting across my mind. her smile a beacon of light, grazing the darkest reaches of my fury. ice cream and gentle seawater and sandy beaches and joy in the shape of a girl. i would want her to remember: i am proud of you, always. i love you, always.
@dreaminginvelaris: elegant, ethereal, errorless as a star spinning through the galaxy. her mornings are bitter coffee and cramped handwriting, hair looped into pristine knots. her afternoons are hewn of secret smiles and highlighted answers. and her nights, my god, her nights. they're stitched of breathless kisses and red lipstick and soft fury and pride. i want her to know: i've never seen anyone glow so bright.
@royalydamned: seething, storming, shattering everything within her direct line of sight. a friend who began as my enemy, a stranger on the other side of a screen. and sometimes i still remember those initial hours of anger and willful conviction, and i think it's so fucking incredible that we eased it over. i think it's fucking incredible that they're a source of laughter and delight. i want them to know: the uprising is now, and i'm grateful for you.
@queer-bookwyvern: daring, delighted, dancing in the rain with her arms thrown wide. i still dream about that very day, watching her spin through the storm, head tipped to the clouds as if she might taste the very sky, her eyes closed. she was a wraith of the underworld, a queen of the heavens, a sylph of the earth. i want to say: stars are named after girls like you.
@inejghafasupremacy: gorgeous, graceful, gold as the first hints of summertime. when i look at her i see cities burning. i see a girl with no shame and a reckless, blazing fury. i see a sliver of history, determination and pride and a fucking stubborn will in the shape of a girl. what greater honor is there than to witness her anger? i want her to know: no matter what, i've got your back, and i'm not going anywhere.
there's many, many more and i would be delighted to write them, just send your name
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dreaminginvelaris · 2 days ago
acosf made me dislike nesta even more, i went in there with an open mind but at the end of the day, the fundamental issues just weren’t resolved well enough.
so much of that book is “amren and elain chose feyre” “everyone loves feyre” “everyone hates me” “feyre has her own family so we weren’t enough”.. it was as if sjm was trying to make her more sympathetic but it does not make sense. had nesta acknowledged what she did outright, verbally apologised to feyre (because let’s face it feyre can read her mind and let’s her off so that’s not even good development because nesta can’t even swallow her pride and have a deep conversation with feyre about the past, it’s a cop out)
the reasoning behind the way she treated feyre when they were younger wasn’t that good to be honest and while everyone says the IC don’t like nesta because she doesn’t worship them it’s the other way round. after all, acosf shows how nesta is only nice to people who don’t speak up against her like gwyn emerie and azriel. she can’t handle criticism even at the end. she knew her sister was dying and didn’t attempt to even find a way to save her. and then she actually does die and nesta is sorry? messy unbelievable and makes no sense. i love flawed characters but when their development is actually good, not to mention how acosf was so boring with training and smut scenes 🥱🥱
honestly, the whole "everyone chose feyre" crap was so fucking annoying and hypoctrical of nesta. why in the world would they have chosen nesta over feyre? its not like nesta would even let them considering she would insult and push them away before they could even breathe her way. besides why would she think she could compare to feyre? feyre is a queen, a fucking goddess, ofc everyone will choose her.
feyre is love, feyre is life. (hope yall got that corpse husband reference ;))
anyways, i actually never even realized how right you are in that nesta only liked those who don't speak up against her. it kind of leads back to how she treated elain, i mean plant sniffer never spoke out against her, and when she did, nesta cut her down like she does to everyone else.
i agree with everything you said, nothing was resolved, if anything it just made it worse. i strongly feel that sjm, had no actual plan in how she was going to redeem nesta and so she just made shit up along the way while covering its shitty development with those crude sex scenes she wrote. sjm needs to go back to writing YA bc it's obvious to her, writing adult is all about the sex and none about the character's development nor plot.
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dreaminginvelaris · 2 days ago
How and why did you change your opinion of Nesta? What did you see that made you change your mind?
im guessing this is for when i said acosf made me love nesta before my opinion changed?
im not sure exactly when it happened.
for the longest time, i was always anti nesta, but i went into acosf with an open mind, willing to try and overlook nestas flaws so that i could stop hating her. and for a second it happened.
usually, when i read books i don't analyze them, i just read them and deal with whatever feelings i have for the book at the end. its what happened with acosf, i read it, quickly, and on the surface, it seemed perfect, as if sjm had done it and finally redeemed nesta. it wasn't until i broke the surface of that lie that i realized how much shit sjm swept under the rug to paint a pretty picture over it.
anyways, it was mostly an accumulation of posts, videos, comments, discussions in which i slowly started to change my mind again and realize nesta had not developed as a character nor was anything ever resolved, and in reality, nesta was still a whiny brat who felt she was entitled to everything simply because she was handed a shitty life. it wasn't just one thing that drove me away from nesta, but it was a collection of many things.
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dreaminginvelaris · 2 days ago
the way i love nina zenik so fucking much
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the world’s not soft and silent anymore 
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dreaminginvelaris · 2 days ago
as widely requested, here is the era of peace between the couples who have subjected to my misery and doom. rest assured i’ll stop causing you all so much pain. first, as always, comes nina and matthias serving enemies to lovers. i would love it if you reblogged, because it makes such a difference
tagging everyone who stormed my dms and notes looking for kinder endings: @thebonecarver @crazywritingbookworm @holding-shan-back-from-murder @highfaelucien @saltyfortunes @queer-bookwyvern @smol-satan @quintessential-octessence @nightshade3465 @murderbabies @wafflesandschemingfaces @dreaminginvelaris
@black-like-my-soul to you, ofc, because you make everything brighter
Matthias Helvar hadn't always loved her.
Once upon a time, he had simply been a boy from the countryside, his fingers stained with blue ink, the curve of his mouth slow and deliberate.
Once upon a time, he had spent his days closeted away in the university library, poring over texts and thick tomes snatched from the very highest shelves.
Once upon a time, he had slept peacefully in his bed, and woken to the sun rather than a star-bright laugh, and his evenings were dull but he knew their rhythm, their beat.
Once upon a time, his name had been eight letters, three syllables, one simple intonation; the first time he heard her say it, breathless and gasping with her head thrown back against the wall, he lost his fucking mind.
They had just been two students, too determined and arrogant and convinced of their own pride. Nina Zenik was raucous and gorgeous and so likened to the sea, all lush curves and storming tempers and glittering surfaces and unknown depths. Matthias Helvar was quiet and furious and easily compared to the ice, all shining facets and cold beauty and unforgiving resistance and inflexible anger.
They danced around each other, at first, a solid series of cautious steps and mocking inclines of the head.
Sometimes he glimpsed her running around the fields, her straight dark hair slick with snow, spluttering as a tall young man tossed another handful at her. He watched with mounting fury as she stretched out during lectures, her head tipping back, soft rosebud lips parting.
Matthias hated her.
Hated the exquisite sprawl of her body, the graceful curves and elegant concaves and sharp angles.
Hated that when the night grew dark, darker, darkest, she was all he could think about.
Hated her eyes, brightest summer green, like dewy leaves and eager flower shoots and grapes stolen from his sister's plate.
But he had never glimpsed anything quite so ethereal as her gaze, and her lovely, secret smile. The smile she turned on her dearest friends, the smile he so often wished to experience, the smile he thought could turn the coldest dregs of the world warm.
She was fucking stunning, and brilliant and wise and glorious and he wanted to kiss her so badly it ached.
She was fucking awful, and loud and insouciant and miserable and he wanted to hold a knife to her throat and listen to her beg.
But she was Nina Zenik, after all, and he never managed to do much more than ruin himself with his fantasies and hopes and wild dreams.
When Matthias lay on someone else's bedroom floor, staring up at the ceiling with eyes that couldn't quite focus, all he could hear was the soft lilt of her laugh, the dulcet cadence of her voice.
He heard her whisper, Matthias Matthias Matthias as if his name was her religion, and she was kneeling at the altar.
And if Matthias spent his nights imagining the press of her hands, the furious set of her lips, the slide of her clothes against his bare skin, he could blame it on his hatred.
He found excuses to watch as she bickered with Kaz Brekker in the corridors, shouting over her shoulder and grinning all the same. He studied at the same table where she was talking to Wylan Van Eck as he sketched with limber dark pencils, preserving her smile in charcoal and paper. He couldn’t keep himself from listening as she laughed with Inej Ghafa, both of them doubled up, arm in arm. And when he glimpsed her trailing her fingers up Jesper Fahey’s arm, her eyes blurred with ecstasy, he nearly lost his damned mind.
Sometimes he reminded her of a hurricane, fierce and indomitable and unforgiving, and then he saw the shade of her eyes and all he could see was flowers flowers flowers.
Winter roses, shrouded in snow and cloud and mist, regal despite every attempt to make them bow.
Spring cherry blossoms, their branches slender and elegant, every little flower a bouquet of rosy jewels.
Autumn sunflowers, veiled in dusty light and the dying cinders of day, the sprawled petals a beacon of hope.
Summer hydrangeas, sweet and bright and prismatic with their precise hues, resting in a crown upon her head.
She was every blossom in the world flowering at once, a determined tide of unfurling colour, undaunted and unbothered.
Nina, Nina, Nina. Even the lilt of her name was a blessing in his mouth, though everything he longed to do with her was godless.
Matthias wanted to watch those rosy lips part, wanted to hear the breathless moan that escaped her, wanted to taste the sound on his lips. He wanted to watch the famous Nina Zenik come and come apart on top of him.
She was a song, and he could have listened until the downfall of the world. He had never heard anything quite so exquisite.
Her voice felt like redemption.
And suddenly, Matthias was seeing her everywhere.
She was in the little cafe across the street, her dark hair unbound, her lipstick the colour of fury, leaning across her table to better reach the sugar bowl.
She was dancing in the club his friends dragged him to, her hands tangled in a pretty girl's hair, and they were both kissing, moaning breathlessly, and all he felt was jealousy jealousy jealousy.
She was unwrapping a cherry popsicle and sucking on it idly, her head in some boy's lap as he braided her hair, and he had never known such hatred.
She was in his messages, in his kitchen, in his bed.
When Nina was drinking at a club, her lips around a twirling straw, her red velvet dress hitched around her thighs, all he could think about was the daring cut of her neckline, the precise slash across her breasts.
And maybe it was because he was drunk and tired and ecstatic that he asked her for a dance.
It wasn't the slow, sweet, serious waltz he had always imagined undertaking with his future bride.
It was furious and frenzied and fearless, his hands on the curve of her waist, her lips tracing a hot path down his throat.
It was Nina angling her face to stare up at him, long lashes low, her mouth parted ever so slightly.
It was Matthias sliding his fingers into her hair, gazing down at her, kissing her.
When she sighed against him, a breathless exhale, he lost his fucking mind.
His hands were tracing up the tight velvet of her dress, ghosting across the flare of her hips, faltering at the graceful curve of her breasts, and then she was whispering and smiling and her fucking green eyes were fluttering closed.
Matthias never saw the colour green the same way.
They never spoke of the kiss, or the dozens that followed, each one occurring beneath the strobe lights of their nightclub and a haze of ecstasy.
His evenings began to play out like a movie one had watched thousands of times, and yet every single twist was breathtaking, ethereal.
Nina's warm, sweet mouth. Her wicked hands. Her secret smile. The press of her lips against his own. The curve of her body tight to his own. The brilliance of her, so incredibly staggering that he felt the need to turn away.
She was Nina Zenik and sometimes when Matthias realized he was the one she was kissing, the one who felt her clever touch, the one who was witnessing her delighted grin.
And in those moments, the world could have been hewn of gold for how exquisite it seemed.
The very first time Nina kissed him outside of their club, he could barely move.
She had simply bounded up to him, dark hair ribboning back, and suddenly she was kissing him, one warm hand through his own.
All Matthias could do was stand still, stand still, stand still.
He still dreamt about the wicked, determined, furious look in her eyes as she collided with him. That single spark in her gaze could have lit cities aflame.
Their relationship was never the brutal, raucous wreck Matthias had imagined.
It was Nina with her arms around his neck in the corridors, leaning onto the tips of her toes, smiling up at him.
It was Matthias leaving a bouquet of sunflowers in her dorms, because something about their undaunted bright stand reminded him of her.
It was Nina tangled in his bedsheets, her hair a dark halo on the pillow, sunlight slanting across her soft skin, smiling just so slightly even in her sleep.
It was Matthias waking up to a series of drunken texts and shaking his head, because of course she was out drinking at three in the damned morning.
It was Nina skating across the lake of his childhood, her arms held aloft for balance, smiling softly as she whirled; a wraith of the cold, a sylph of the ice. Her cheeks were red as cherries in the winter air, and every breath was a cloud of warm air past her parted lips.
When she threw her head back, dark hair shaking loose, he thought love might be his death after all.
And on the single night when the sky was clear, and the clouds were softer than spun silk, and they were laying intertwined in the meadows, Matthias wondered if it hadn’t already.
If he could have captured the stars, they would have been hers.
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dreaminginvelaris · 2 days ago
not to be rude, but i'd fight everyone for your hand in platonic marriage
we could literally set up a house in the woods or in a city, with books and sunlight and plants everywhere and bow to only feyre archeron
tell me why i thought i had already answered this💀
but bestie you wouldn’t even need to fight, i’d gladly give you my hand💛
and you legit just described perfection, like a life of reading books and simultaneously worshipping our god feyre? YES
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dreaminginvelaris · 2 days ago
Do you feel that people loved Nesta more or hated her after acosf? Personally, I still don't like her. I found your justifications weak and contradictory. For example, did she ardently want her father to do something but she didn't recognize that he had a leg problem that prevented him from walking properly? And that's why you were horrible to Feyre? I am in love with Cassian and hated that he was turned into a sex therapist. I hated that he was turned into a secondary in his own book. I hated that it was always all about Nesta, even when Cassian shared her life story, it was about Nesta, to encourage her. I hated that Feyre had to die to know she was loved by her abusive sister. I hated the monsters and the whole narrative always sexualizing Nesta. I hated all the nonsensical developments Sarah threw in this book. I love her blog and would like to know her opinion. Mine is that the book didn't help me to like Nesta, although I admit she's in a better place now.
tbh im not sure, i've seen both sides to that question. i'll be honest, when i was done reading acosf i did for a moment love nesta until i realized nothing actually changed within her and she was still a horrible person lol.
Nesta defs wanted her father to do something despite his leg problem (which she actively does know about considering for fun nesta would move his cane out of his reach) but the thing is, even their father did something, as minor as it was, he did make those stupid wood carvings and tried to sell them so like its so funny bc at the end he still did more than nesta. (this is not me praising the dad, he can go fuck himself wherever he is in the afterlife)
she was horrible to feyre simply bc she was mad feyre did what their father was supposed to do and was mad that feyre wasnt willing to let their family starve out of pettiness the way nesta was oh so ready.
same here, i loved cassian, but acosf just, he was a secondary character when it was supposed to be about them both. i wanted to learn his history and who he truly was away from feyre's pov. but the only thing we got to know about him was that he thinks nesta's ass looks sexy in illyrian pants and that his dick is huge. (like we didnt already know that? hello all 3 batboys have huge dicks, tell me something i dont know).
Cassian in the end was only a sex buddy, therapist, and trainer. and its absolutely depressing.
Omg feyre dying for her to know nesta loved her was absolutely shitty considering nesta didnt even intend for feyre to hear her declaration. like miss girl after everything feyre did for you for years, her dying was the only way you could admit you loved her? get help, and no cassians cock is not help.
I agree with you, the book didnt help me like her either, in fact it just made me loathe her even more bc its not like she had any actual character development, besides everything anti-nestas have said these past years were confirmed by sjm and nesta herself. the whole book nesta just whined that everyone chose feyre over her (obviously though feyre is better than you tf) and that she was so mean but couldn't help it, like bitch no. her excuses were garbage and im pissed that no one else did a better job at telling her like it is, instead they coddled her like shes always been.
Shes in a better place now sure, but i personally think she does not deserve it and should have gone through more development and groveling to get to that point bc she did not deserve all the help feyre threw at her.
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dreaminginvelaris · 2 days ago
thanks @f-cursebreaker ✨
enemies to lovers or friends to lovers // coffee shop au or flower shop au // hurt/comfort or there was only one bed // found family or partners in crime // canon compliant or canon divergent // domesticity or pwp // fluff or angst with a happy ending // misunderstandings or major character death // 1st person pov or 3rd person pov // soulmates or forbidden love // roommates or fake dating // slow burn or meet-cute // love triangle or polyamorous relationship // secret relationship or unrequited love // royalty au or magic au // high school/college au or neighbours au // mutual pining or idiots to lovers
@s-tormwitch @confused-as-all-hell @feysandandnyx and anyone who wants too.
enemies to lovers or friends to lovers // coffee shop au or flower shop au // hurt/comfort or there was only one bed // found family or partners in crime // canon compliant or canon divergent // domesticity or pwp // fluff or angst with a happy ending // misunderstandings or major character death // 1st person pov or 3rd person pov // soulmates or forbidden love // roommates or fake dating // slow burn or meet-cute // love triangle or polyamorous relationship // secret relationship or unrequited love // royalty au or magic au // high school/college au or neighbours au // mutual pining or idiots to lovers
Keep reading
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dreaminginvelaris · 4 days ago
literally how can you compare chapter 55 passionate love confession sex over the booty call sex nessian had???
I think you have to be brave to say that any hot in acosf is better than chapter 55. Seriously guys, did you understand chapter 55? I mean, it wasn't just about sex 🤷🏽‍♀️
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dreaminginvelaris · 4 days ago
if i, like. . . write the golden era of my tragic au fics, would you read them?
darling i’ll read anything you write 😌
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dreaminginvelaris · 5 days ago
listen i dont like the darkling, he was a pretty vanilla character and like only used the cut. boring. BUT...i definitely 100% understand why he was doing what he was doing. it literally made sense. grisha were slaves and being looked down on by the ppl they were forced to protect. and if they refused they were killed. sure the darkling could have gotten his goal in a MUCH better way, but i cant fault him for trying to save the people and country he loved so much. so much wasted potential like if only leigh went at this story in a different way.
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dreaminginvelaris · 5 days ago
BRUH i legit just got blocked by this dumbass on tiktok for correcting her by saying ACOSF is not YA but adult and she legit got so pissed. like excuse me for correcting your obvious false information so that a 14 yr old doesn’t stumble onto acosf expecting lukewarm sex and then getting porn. some ppl rlly just cant admit they were wrong like legit this bitch was saying all of google said its YA when one search from me and it said Adult. PLUS sjm said its adult and i mentioned that and she still argued with me. some of these tiktok creators gotta do better bc this behavior is so childish, it wasnt even hate it was correcting misguided information. dont take it personally.
also this tiktok acc has a good amount of followers so like its even more critical for her not to be spreading false information
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dreaminginvelaris · 5 days ago
YES this needes to be read and shared with everyone who disses the IC for how they handled the intervention and called their help “abusive”
I’ve seen a lot of criticism over ACOSF since it was published — unsurprising because people were complaining well before it was out. I’ll be the first to admit that it was not the book I hoped for. The plot was weak and the character development was lacking, and I’ve learned to accept it.
One criticism I cannot get on board with is the complaints that the IC handles Nesta’s substance abuse. Specifically, these criticisms read as entirely opinion based; it’s painfully clear that the “critics” have little to no experience or knowledge on substance abuse. I have a professional understanding of substance abuse and how it relates to mental health, but I’m going to speak from personal experience here because it’s far more relevant.
SO. Let’s get to it then. People want to shit on the IC for how they reacted to Nesta’s drinking. So, so many complaints. Rhys is mean. Feyre is abusing her sister. They “gentrified” her apartment. They made her go to the house of wind. Cassian had no idea how to handle Nesta. Amren was vicious and lashed out. How dare they cut Nesta off like that. The list goes on and on.
Everyone is so caught up on complaining about how SJM dropped the ball with the character dynamics that they’ve missed the key point:
This is what substance abuse looks like. Their reactions, feelings and behaviors are incredibly realistic.
I prefer to keep my personal experiences to myself, but I’ll share a bit. I grew up with a parental figure who was an alcoholic (and recreational drug user). I watched one of my best friends turn into a drug addict as teen/young adult — there was a time where I saw her and didn’t even recognize her because of how sickly she looked. I slowly lost touch with other friends as they took a nose dive into addiction. My other friend’s (now ex) husband was also addicted to drugs. I also have friends who struggle with mental health issues and self-medicate with drugs/alcohol because they just can’t cope.
I’ve literally seen it all. Done the “interventions”. Sat through family weekend at rehab. Been stolen from. Found someone unconscious in their car (they survived). Found one of their toddlers wandering down the street unattended while my friends husband was high (DISCLOSURE: the little one was safe and the parent now cannot have visits unless they are supervised). I’ve enabled some of them financially and emotionally. I came to terms with the deaths via overdose years after I lost touch with friends. This is just the mild stuff, I won’t even touch on some of the behaviors that ensued from months/years of drugs and alcohol.
Why am I saying this, and how does it relate to ACOSF?
The emotional toll substance abuse takes on individuals and their loved ones is unbelievable. There is heartbreak, fighting, enabling, co-dependence, financial burdens, and emotionally charged interactions like you wouldn’t believe. What SJM portrayed with the IC and Nesta was mild to moderate dysfunction. It was not abuse.
Fighting over how to handle a loved one who abused alcohol and has risky behaviors as a result?? - this is a normal reaction to stress. This is not an example of controlling behavior.
Refusing to continue making rent payments? This is an excellent example of what it looks like to stop enabling someone. It was not an example of abuse.
Relocating someone who is actively using and lives in their own filth? This is a way of promoting safety and reducing the chance of future relapses. This is not an example of controlling behavior and it is not abusive.
Ganging up on someone and “forcing” them to temporarily relocate to a secure living environment? This is also known as an intervention. There is no equivalent to rehab/inpatient psych in ACOTAR, so sending Nesta to the house and having her work with the priestesses is an acceptable alternative (it’s fantasy after all).
Making Nesta choose between Illyria or living at the house to train/work? This sounds a lot like the typical deal of “You’re drug use is out of control and *insert unsafe or illegal behaviors* cannot be ignored. If you agree to seek treatment, you will not be involuntarily committed/incarcerated”. It’s a depressing reality.
Telling a loved one to shape up or that they will be forced to leave (aka go to the mortal realm)? Hitting rock bottom is heartbreaking for everyone. It’s hard to stop enabling and to stop being enabled. Loved ones can’t force you to change, and you can’t force them to watch you destroy yourself. This is setting boundaries and it is not abusive.
You’ve been sober for months now but everyone still treats you like you’re a train wreck? It probably took a long time for loved ones to lose trust, and it takes a long time to earn it back. It’s sad and frustrating to everyone involved; developing trust and redefining boundaries is hard. This is not an example of being cruel and uncaring.
Substance abuse is scary, and it takes an incredible toll on everyone involved. Consider this: you’re driving to a loved one’s home because you’re scared that you haven’t heard from them. It’s terrifying to wonder if this will finally be the day you find them dead in their living room. I truly believe the majority of the IC acted with good intentions, and I think ALL of their interactions and behaviors were accurate depictions.
I hope this was enlightening and helpful to anyone in the fandom who do not have experience with substance abuse. Please recognize that it is a blessing if you could not relate to or understand portion of acofs.
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dreaminginvelaris · 5 days ago
Just imagine...
Rhysand & Feyre as Flynn Rider & Rapunzel for Halloween
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