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dreamy-mess · 4 days
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I don't want to live in this reality anymore. Put a fluffy blanket over me and let me be in my dreams.
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dreamy-mess · 30 days
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"If I could I would give you everything. Because I love you so much. Maybe for now, best I can do is survive by your side, be a voice of reason."
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dreamy-mess · 2 months
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Emily Dickinson in a letter to Elizabeth Holland wr. c. 20 January 1856
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dreamy-mess · 3 months
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My emotions feel like they're eating me up alive. They're so strong and bundle up right over my chest, pushing me down and underneath the surface. Making me unable to breath. It hurts. It hurts so much
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dreamy-mess · 3 months
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for so long i felt like i wasn't a person yet and couldn't wrap my mind around being a person and everything was too difficult or strange or weighted. i remember feeling this as a child, as a teen, as an adult entering real life. i always had anxiety, i almost always felt sadness, i always felt just outside the edge of things, i always felt like i couldn't totally relate or like others couldn't totally understand me. i remember this reaching its point in my early twenties when i truly fell apart and was grasping at any softness to balance myself. panic attacks felt like my soul didn't fit in my body, it was too big and the body was too small and i was always buzzing buzzing buzzing. i got stuck in one place and everything about being a person felt wrong. the stoplight felt wrong, the grocery store felt wrong, death felt wrong, love felt wrong, clothes felt wrong. like before i was born i changed my mind really quick but had to be born anyways, I’m imaging myself saying "wait!!" and then shooting through the light and crying out being born. still a part of me feels this but i've adjusted. i saw the beauty in things. i let depth take me away, vulnerability swallow me whole. i think that's when every little thing became moving and being alive felt good. watching the world as a witness. imagination saved me. grounded-ness saved me. a balancing act.
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dreamy-mess · 4 months
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dreamy-mess · 5 months
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Nothing is more humiliating and disappointing and nerve-wrecking and triggering than finally contacting therapists because you're so unwell and fuckin finally got the energy to contact a bunch of them.... Only to be either put on a 1 to 2 year long waitlist... Or them having closed their waitlist already because its too long.
Great thanks I see if I can survive the next 1 to 2 years bye
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dreamy-mess · 5 months
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Nobody cares
I'm not important
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dreamy-mess · 5 months
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When your mind is so triggered and overwhelmed and ready to fight its own body that all you can do is sit down on the spot and don't dare to move so you can't give in to hurting yourself in one way or the other
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dreamy-mess · 6 months
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When you weren't on your phone for a while and turn it on again, expecting at least a message or tiktok link or just...something... But there's nothing and suddenly you feel all alone and not important again
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dreamy-mess · 6 months
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Long distance love is so frustrating most of the times cause you can't just come over to each other to give them a hug and some kisses if they're not feeling good. And you can't receive them either. So you can only rely on texts and calls. And the feeling of desperately needing a hug from the person you love the most will just break your heart in bits and pieces. And you never realised before how badly you can physically miss a person. And yes you will get stronger through it... But there are times where you don't feel certain of this at all and where it's such a battle to get through this until you see each other again.
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dreamy-mess · 7 months
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I'm so anxious right now. I wonder what would happen if I drank some caffeine
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dreamy-mess · 8 months
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Aziraphale's favorite color is yellow
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dreamy-mess · 8 months
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Having a partner who will emotionally and verbally shut down if things are too much and me being the partner that gets triggered by it because people used it to make me feel invalidated in my existence in the past.... It's hard to figure out a way through it. But again I want to quote my love, because I guess this was what I needed to hear the most:
"Silence will not be a weapon for me."
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dreamy-mess · 9 months
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All I can think about is the feeling you leave on me whenever you kiss me. The spark of serotonin whenever our lips meet. The comfort of your hugs. Thr excitement of your touch. You got me wrapped around your finger so easily and I instantly melt in your arms.
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dreamy-mess · 10 months
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Another rant about how much long distance sucks especially when they're in the same town as your family and you really don't wanna be with your family
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dreamy-mess · 10 months
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I miss your touch.
The way you hug me,
hold me close,
comfort me
Damn I miss your touch.
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