dysfunctionalfocus

[dysfunctionalfocus]

somehow, amazingly, i have hacked the impulse that makes me mindlessly scroll on my phone. it's not gone but i've paired it with a conscious thought process that goes like, "what's my goal here? i'm looking for entertainment, for information, for something that makes me feel more optimistic and interested in the world i live in..."

and because that kicks in between apps, too, i'm not doomscrolling as much. i'm intentionally seeking out posts or videos or whatever that actually mean something to me. when i'm not satisfied i walk away or pick up a book instead. most subtle yet impactful change i've gone through in years

i did not intentionally set out to change this. i've just been working on my mindset in general. hey, turns out having a good therapist again helps

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is that simple task bothering you queen

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you never know what someone is going through. for instance i didnt know i was going through anything until about 2 years later. i thought i was just chilling

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heartbreaking:

girl has sooooooo many ambitions and ideas for projects but can only get 1.5 basic tasks done per day

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its so shiddy when u have to convince yourself to do your hobbies. like, its fun, you like it, why cant you just do it. do it. do it. but what if.... mindless media consumption instead....

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everyone please welcome into the world my beautiful daughter, bathroom spider

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i get so scared. and i get scared again. yuo are never gonna calm me down. i get so scared. and i get scared again. you are never gonna calm me down. i drink a nervous drink. i drink a frightened drink. i drink an anxious drink, i drink a scary drink. i fear the scares that remind me of the scary times. i fear the scares that remind me of the horror times

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born to prance in the glade forced to guard the royal capital

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having one of those executive function days where everything is too many steps

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The Woman Behind The World’s Most Famous Tarot Deck Was Nearly Lost In History

For centuries, people of all walks of life have turned to tarot to divine what may lay ahead and reach a higher level of self-understanding.

The cards’ enigmatic symbols have become culturally ingrained in music, art and film, but the woman who inked and painted the illustrations of the most widely used set of cards today – the Rider-Waite deck from 1909, originally published by Rider & Co. – fell into obscurity, overshadowed by the man who commissioned her, Arthur Edward Waite.

Now, over 70 years after her death, the creator Pamela Colman Smith has been included in a new exhibition at the Whitney Museum of American Art in New York highlighting many underappreciated artists of early 20th-century American modernism in addition to famous names like Georgia O’Keeffe and Louise Nevelson.

CNN

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I think it’s important to remember that executive dysfunction doesn’t just apply to doing chores (work, cleaning, etc). It also makes it difficult to engage with your hobbies.

Some people don’t seem to understand that when I say that I don’t have the motivation to do something that I have said I want to do, it has nothing to do with not being interested enough in said thing. It is just that my brain is not allowing me to do it even though I want to.

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ah fuck i forgot my meds . takee your medicines ok ?

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