e-m-i-l-yy

[e-m-i-l-yy]

i recently started my 2nd year of college. in the past year i’ve grown so much as a person. i’ve lost friends i expected to be friends with for the rest of my life. that is one of the hardest things i have dealt with. this person has been my friend since we were 9 years old. its like 10 years meant nothing to them. they were always my number 1 i never put anyone before them and i thought they did the same for me. well when someone youve talked to every single day for the past 10 years quits talking to you its really had to keep that person as your friend. we went several months ar a time with no talking but there were times where we could just pick up where we left off. so i wasn’t too worried i continued to text her each day and i wouldn’t get a response. just left on read. then after a few times of that i wouldn’t message for a few days since i wasn’t getting a response and they would get super mad at me for “not putting in any effort” and that hurt my feelings. we got into a pretty bad argument over it. neither of us tried to contact each other for a few weeks. but one day i was at work and they just showed up at my house. i eventually got off and came home. i was kind of weirded out that they were acting as if nothing happened. i needed gas so i asked if they wanted to ride with me and they said yes. i got gas and on the way back it started. they started trying to blame me for everything. they kept saying it was my fault and i obviously didn’t care about our friendship i don’t put in the same amount of effort as they do. and usually i just say sorry because i hate confrontation. if i say sorry they stop being mad at me. even when i know i wasn’t the cause of the problem. well this time was different i knew i put in the effort i was getting ignored. i wasn’t going to let them walk all over me this time. i stood up for myself and told them they were wrong. we started to argue of course. we eventually get back to my house and she starts trying to bring my sister into it and get her to side with them. i lost it. my sister also hates confrontation but even she was like “no what are you talking about? for the past couple months she has been trying to keep in touch and you’ve said nothing to her.” they end up leaving after that. later that night i get this long message about how if i care i would put in the effort and hang out with them that weekend. i agree. we went window shopping and the entire time i kept trying to make conversation and it was like i kept hitting a dead end. they eventually wanted to go home so i drive them home and they tried to convince me to come over and i declined and made up an excuse. they were agitated with me and called out my excuse. i didn’t honestly care the entire car ride was silent. i haven’t talked to them since. that happened in March it is the end of September now. i lost a friend i expected to be there through thick and thin. since then I’ve seen them on campus and i know they’ve seen me. they make it a point to avoid me. i am very involved in college activities so i go to pretty much everything. they will not come near me. i have told myself if they were to ever come up to me i would talk to them and be friendly like i would with anyone else. it just feels really awkward. senior year we got voted most likely to be friends forever. it’s definitely ironic looking back at my yearbook now. i hope they are doing well. i don’t think i will ever put myself into the position of being their friend again. it was a lot of heartache. wishing them well always.

#college #10 year bond #frienship #bad ending #wish it was easy #class of 2021 #student life #latest news #high school #self improvement #5th semester #college sophomore #what is to come #this took a lot longer than i thought it would #development

[e-m-i-l-yy]

i am constantly looking for validation i’ve decided i’m over it its over i’m going to do what makes me happy i don’t care what others think i’m officially in my lovers phase

#lovers #taylornation #taylor swift #confident #validation #happy 2022 #comfortable being myself #true to myself

[e-m-i-l-yy]

christmas has come and gone starting my second semester of college next week i am at peace

#school #college #second semester #christmas #peaceofmind #inner peace

[e-m-i-l-yy]

its finally March and i am just now realizing i only have a few months left at highschool its such a bittersweet thing i am anxious of what comes next but also excited sorta confusing i know next august i will start college its all surreal tbh

#senior #class of 2021 #surreal #realization #bittersweet #graduation #what is to come #future awaits #future #college

[e-m-i-l-yy]

this.

I believe that you can't just have one soulmate. I believe that there are many people you meet, who love different parts of your soul, different parts of you. And once you find somebody who loves the part of you you want to love, never let them go.

[e-m-i-l-yy]

my new lockscreen and homescreen

#reniassance #aesthetic #pale pink #pearl #paintings #this took a lot longer than i thought it would #4 hours #found everything on google #i was bored #pretty