eddie-diass
eddie-diass
because, evan
20s | header: buckbuckley | 18+ only
eddie-diass · 45 minutes ago
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Why do you reblog your own fics so much?
Because someone might as well!? And look at this. Look. At. This.
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Does this look right to you??
These are just the last three fics I wrote. I appreciate the likes, believe me I do, but you have to understand. Likes do nothing for content creators. It’s the reblogs. Because that’s how you find shit on your dashboard. Through reblogs. Not likes. This isn’t twitter or tiktok or instagram. This is a website that’s run by the reblog system.
Reblogging helps content creators put their stuff out there. Why do you think so many people stopped writing fanfic and creating beautiful fanart and edits? It’s because they put in hours of work and don’t get nearly enough notes for their masterpieces. Yes we do this because we enjoy it but like...some validation won’t hurt. A boost of confidence here and there might be all someone needs to finish whatever thing they started and left.
Anyway, I’m still going to reblog my shit...
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eddie-diass · an hour ago
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And still more sub!Eddie, because apparently I just live here now. But also…I’m sorry. Mind the note at the beginning. 
Chapters: 1/1 Rating: Explicit Relationships: Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Series: Part 3 of melt
Summary:
Eddie doesn’t think he’s into anything too out there. When he and Buck first started exploring, before they ever touched a silk tie or piece of rope, there had been a lot of research. And with that, a lot of automatic hard pass, no thank you, that’s really a thing people are into? moments.
On the other side of that though, there were also plenty of things that stole his breath at just the thought, that he knew immediately that he wanted.
And still others that made him…curious. Not a yes, but not a no either. Things that he had to sit with and turn over and over in his head, unsure but wondering, trying to decide if the nerves skating across his skin were from anticipation and want or from fear. Or from something else entirely.
[Or: Eddie can’t decide if he wants something or not. And Buck stumbles into a hard limit]
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eddie-diass · an hour ago
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anyways have a snippet from my fic that i will now be scrapping in favor of a new intro [save for the dip/scrub/dry]:
Dip. 
Scrub. 
Dry. 
Don’t you think this might be… confusing… for Christopher?
Dip. 
Scrub. 
Dry. 
Confusing. No, what was confusing was getting here. Allowing himself to selfishly pursue his own happiness. 
Dip. 
Scrub. 
Dry. 
Confusing was untangling the person Eddie was from the person his parents had wanted him to be. The two were inextricable for most of his life, but slowly, he’s been separating the two—wriggling the shame from where it’s rooted deep in his chest and suckling on his fear. At some point, Buck had reached a hand into the dirt next to Eddie’s and shook him from the inside out. He keeps it there, even when Eddie’s too tired to keep trying.
Keep reading
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eddie-diass · 3 hours ago
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9-1-1 ▸ 5.05 peer pressure
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eddie-diass · 5 hours ago
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buck: i’m leaving
eddie: no you’re not. eat your lunch.
buck: no I’m not
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eddie-diass · 7 hours ago
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Parallel - 5x04 Home and away vs 5x05 Peer pressure
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eddie-diass · 10 hours ago
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playing around with bachelor au fic………..
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eddie-diass · 11 hours ago
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anyways have a snippet from my fic that i will now be scrapping in favor of a new intro [save for the dip/scrub/dry]:
Dip. 
Scrub. 
Dry. 
Don’t you think this might be… confusing… for Christopher?
Dip. 
Scrub. 
Dry. 
Confusing. No, what was confusing was getting here. Allowing himself to selfishly pursue his own happiness. 
Dip. 
Scrub. 
Dry. 
Confusing was untangling the person Eddie was from the person his parents had wanted him to be. The two were inextricable for most of his life, but slowly, he’s been separating the two—wriggling the shame from where it’s rooted deep in his chest and suckling on his fear. At some point, Buck had reached a hand into the dirt next to Eddie’s and shook him from the inside out. He keeps it there, even when Eddie’s too tired to keep trying.
But Buck never gives up. 
He hadn’t given up when Eddie needed time to interlace his fingers with Buck’s while they walked around in the grocery store. Or when they both walked into Christopher’s parent-teacher conference as partners. 
And he certainly didn’t give up trying to win over Ramon and Helena tonight when they had consistently insinuated that their… lifestyle choice was inconsiderate of Chris. To his parents’ credit, they managed to maintain some semblance of cordiality after Eddie broke the news, but their eyes kept flicking between Buck’s arm wrapped protectively around Eddie’s shoulders and their grandson’s face as if searching for proof of the discomfort they’ve projected on him. 
Tremoring still from the exertion, Eddie directs the remaining nervous energy into the dishes Buck had been collecting from the table.  
Dip. 
Scrub. 
Dry.
A part of Eddie had wanted to wait to tell them until, well, wedding invitations would be sent out and he would never have to bear witness to the way their faces would flicker between shock and disappointment. It’s not so much that he anticipated ever setting fire to the home he’s made with Buck at the threat of his parents’ input, but it’s fucking exhausting having to swallow their judgement. They work in tandem—Helena grabbing Eddie by the jaw to keep his mouth open while Ramon funnels every projected fear and failure into his choking throat—and leave him sore and gasping for air. 
But they had found out about Shannon’s pregnancy through word of mouth, and Eddie wanted this to be different. 
Because everything was, with Buck. 
So they had invited his parents to visit for the weekend under the guise of wanting Chris to spend some time with his grandparents before he starts middle school in a few weeks. Abuela had offered to provide accommodations—saying something about how she has such a big, empty house and too much food in her fridge, anyways. 
(Eddie’s never been more grateful for his lack of a guest bedroom.)
Dip. 
Scrub. 
Dry.
“Do you… wanna talk about it?” A familiar warmth wraps around Eddie, and only now does he realize how, between the soap and the hot water, his hands are a little raw. “Or not yet?” Buck gives a quick squeeze as Eddie leans into the touch—fully knowing Buck will support the extra weight. The dinner was, for the most part, fine, but Eddie can’t help fixating on the way he wanted to recoil and revert to a more… agreeable version of himself. One his parents could digest better alongside their well-done steaks. 
(And there’s the shame, again, thriving in the chill of his uneasiness. 
Eddie sighs, “Not–not now. Later.” 
A hand snakes under his shirt and starts to rub circles there. With every rotation, Eddie unwinds further and further into Buck’s arms—the tension so slack, his head rolls onto his boyfriend’s shoulder behind him. Christopher went with his parents to his abuela’s house, so the house is quieter than usual. 
Maybe that’s why Eddie’s thoughts still feel so loud. 
Buck must hear them, too, “What do you need, baby?” He breathes the words into Eddie’s ear as he presses his lips in time with the pulses felt along the length of Eddie’s exposed neck. At the juncture where his jaw meets his throat, Buck nips at the skin before pressing an even sweeter, softer kiss over the bite. 
There’s something that can help settle him, and Eddie has gotten better at asking. 
But it’s still—... 
It’s not easy, voicing it. 
He turns to face Buck—careful not to separate themselves more than necessary in the process—and rests in the blue sanctuary of his gaze, “To get out of my head.” 
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eddie-diass · 12 hours ago
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👀👀👀
askldjfhaskldhlk I am so glad someone actually saw those tags because I am feeling very 👀👀👀👀 about it xD I read 'defend in place' and was like, thaaaat definitely sounds like it has meaning, that sounds like something official™ and so I googled it and it definitely means SOMETHING
"Since grade school, we have all been taught to evacuate a building in a timely fashion during a fire drill, or in the case of a real fire. Many of us have continued this practice in the buildings we work in today, and will continue throughout our lives. However, if evacuation is not an option, how do we protect those that must stay inside? There are two strategies that are used to help protect the occupants of a building: Staged evacuation and defend in place.
(...)
Defend in place is a strategy that is used mainly in healthcare for those occupants that are physically unable to leave the facility. Many of these occupants are connected to life-supporting equipment, and could be in even more danger if they are moved or removed from the facility. This strategy allows healthcare staff to keep these patients in the facility, while also continue receiving any necessary treatment."
(link in the notes)
this certainly has me feeling a certain type of way, because????? is it a literal thing and they are doing a big dramatic call/fire in ep9 (and potentially extending to ep10) where someone has to stay/is forced to stay or is it more metaphorical? in what way could it be metaphorical? things you can't run from/escape but have to face head-on and fight with whatever you got to survive? THE POTENTIAL please talk to me about this!!
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eddie-diass · 12 hours ago
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I feel like every time we see Taylor with Buck I’m just reminded of how she simply does not understand and see who he is as a person.
- she called Buck a bad friend in 408 which is ???? so very not him?? 408 is a fucking terrible episode for so many reasons but i was so mad when she called him a bad friend and the show framed it like ‘ooooh she really NAILED it, how INSIGHTFUL, buck really needs RECONSIDER how he TREATS ppl’ and then how it soured his interaction with christopher? when …it was a completely false conclusion for her to make???and nothing else the show had done supported it??? buck’s ALWAYS a good and generous friend???? i get that he fucked up by not properly explaining why he invited her but ??? she went over there expecting sex, it wasn’t like she thought it was meaningful either? 
- said buck is scared of strong women?? i’m sorry, where? when?? he’s surrounded by strong women and has never had a problem with it??
- called him needy? said he’s desperate for people to like him? okay, so this isn’t necessarily WRONG from taylor’s POV (especially when she didn’t know him all that well at this point) but it was cruel to throw in his face without knowing WHY he’s like that.
- said he’s a dumbass who does reckless things for the thrill of it/to play the hero, fundamentally misunderstanding that he did those things not to show off but because he does not care for his own safety. 
- did not understand the significance of the conflict with chim/the firefam. comparing it to the situation with her boss was just..inaccurate. her boss was not her family.  buck’s conflct with chim is DEEPLY personal and his fears about being left behind by the firefam - again - are both historically justified and valid. buck is an anxious guy with serious abandonment issues stemming from childhood trauma. it’s understandable that he feels he is the problem and everyone else would be better without him; it’s what he’s been taught before. for taylor to dismiss this as him ‘making everything about you’ just shows that she does NOT understand how deeply he feels these insecurities and anxieties.
the thing is that it’s not all on taylor to always understand and support buck no matter what. in order for that to happen, buck has to trust her and let her in on this stuff, and it’s very very obvious that he hasn’t. which just shows that he doesn’t trust her that much AND doesn’t feel that close to her.
but you know who does see buck and his insecurities? you know you can read him like a book in 0.05 seconds? you know who cuts through the bullshit to say you’re not expendable? you’re stuck with us?
yeah.
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eddie-diass · 13 hours ago
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sorry but i’m still not over knowing that eddie has no clue how buck clawed at the ground for him, ready to dig through forty feet of wet earth nor does he know the full extent to which buck, bleeding, swam through literal hell and high water to save his son and—even without that knowledge—still made him the legal guardian of his son in the event that he passes.
i’m not over how much there is left unsaid between these two. how the idea of a hostage scene—where they’re face to face with the other’s love—is really, truly such a powerful way to bring those unspoken words to the surface.
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eddie-diass · 13 hours ago
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something that still makes me absolutely feral whenever I think of it?
when they hold hands, their tattoos match
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eddie-diass · 14 hours ago
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3, 24, 63, and 69 for the 70 horrible questions. Hope you're having a good day 😄😄 !
you're so sweet! hope you're having a good day too!
03: Do you regret anything?
OOF. yes. i try to be better about this, but yeah i definitely regret some things
24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?
[answered!]
63: Would you change your name?
hmm i don't think so.... a part of me always thought it was too "girly" (and tbh it still feels that way), but i've also grown to love it more? especially considering why my family chose it.
69: Do you believe in soulmates?
yes absolutely. twin flames too and all that. i've had too many life experiences and heard too many life experiences to not believe that there's certainly something a bit .... supernatural / spiritual when you find the right match
70: Is there anyone you would die for?
yes. best friends and family
ask me 70 horrible questions ... Fuck it
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eddie-diass · 14 hours ago
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BUCK IN SEASON FIVE | 5x05
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eddie-diass · 14 hours ago
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19, 25, 26 😌💕
19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
i'm... conflicted about this one. i think that that can get messy, and the idea of getting more time with a loved one seems nice but idk. maybe for something like school, but even then everything (ultimately) worked out exactly how i wanted it to ?
25: Do you miss anyone from your past?
yeah, i miss my dad
26: What are you craving right now?
[answered hahaha]
ask me 70 horrible questions ... Fuck it
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eddie-diass · 14 hours ago
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26-31?
26: What are you craving right now?
[already answered]
27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
i don't know if i'd say that their heart was necessarily broken, but yeah, i have someone in mind
28: Have you ever been cheated on?
no; haven't been in a long enough term relationship for that lol
29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
see above !
30: What’s irritating you right now?
myself / inability to focus on what it is that i have to do hahaha
31: Does somebody love you?
romantically ? i don't think so. but otherwise? yes :-)
ask me 70 horrible questions ... Fuck it
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eddie-diass · 14 hours ago
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24, 26, 32 :)
24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?
hmmm i would say biology and really anything that involved writing
26: What are you craving right now?
a nice, fresh salad :-) making it now lol
and a VERY long break.
32: What is your favourite color?
teal!
ask me 70 horrible questions ... Fuck it
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