electromistress

[electromistress]

[electromistress]

whenever i'm trying to talk myself out of buying something i don't need i always hear my old russian professor's voice echoing in my head: "WHAT??? WILL YOU DIE THE RICHEST MAN IN THE GRAVEYARD?" and then i make an unwise financial decision

[electromistress]

Yah you’re cute but will you build a fort with me in the living room and play videogames all night????

[electromistress]

i reblogged your post way better than that guy

[electromistress]

This is Thelockpickinglaywer and what I have for you today is something very interesting. As you can tell by the agonizing screams of the damned, I have recently left the mortal coil and, upon arriving at my destination, was informed that I did not qualify for residence. I was taken by an angel of the Lord to the mouth of Hell, and when the angel left, he closed this rather large red door and sealed it with a divine key. Although I’ve never seen this particular model of lock before, I’ve spent some time investigating the cylinder with this small shard of bone. By sticking it in the back of the keyway and slowly pulling it out, I can tell that this is a five-pin tumbler lock, that can easily be single-pin picked using this shed demon scale as a tensioner tool. Let’s try that right now. Alright, nothing on one. Nothing on two. Three is binding firmly, click out of that. Nothing on four. Five is binding, little click there, back to one. Once again, nothing. Two is binding, and we’ve dropped into a false set. Little click out of three. Nothing on four. Little click on one, counter-rotation on two, and we got this open. Okay folks, I think the main takeaway here is that no matter how much faith you place in a mechanism designed to ensure your safety, be it spiritual or physical, there is always a state in which it can fail. In any case, thank you for watching. Memento mori, and I’ll see you next time.

[electromistress]

oh my god they were classmates

[electromistress]

based on this pic.

[electromistress]

I got my wife to play signalis

[electromistress]

choices made in anger is such a crazy image. if you know what i'm talking about

[electromistress]

the fact that ur childhood affects ur brain for the rest of ur life is sooooo fucking embarassing. yeah i have all these things wrong with me and i feel kind of bad and weird all the time. why? oh umm well my mummy and daddy were mean to me when i was 5. no yeah i know. yeah and im still living like this. yeah. cringe 😬

[electromistress]

[electromistress]

Before you speak, SHIT:

STUPID: Is what you are saying stupid?

HAUGHTY: Are your words arrogant and disdainful?

INCONSIDERATE: Are others insulted or inconvenienced by what you are saying?

TERRIBLE: Is what you want to say truly heinous?

[electromistress]

the self care industry will sell you face masks and teas and whatnot so i'm here to remind you not to forget the most important self care activity which is masturbation

[electromistress]

[electromistress]

[electromistress]

does violence have to be the last resort. cant it be like third

#violence is always an option UwU

[electromistress]

one profession that does need better gatekeeping is people who write or translate subtitles. brother that is not what was said.

#It annoys the shit out of me #when I see that someone clearly Americanized what the character is saying #even though a literal translation would have worked perfectly fine #I yell out “That's not what they said!” every time