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AH YEAH Babooshka in second place makes my heart happy!

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Throwing Children by Ross Gay

#poetry

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...Erm, What Is His Name Again?

by Leila Chatti

Not even your goddamned grandfather can remember your name. I hate it

that we both own that specific brand of suffering, fucked-up families—I mean what kind of broken

mother sends her child wilderness-bound with a backpack a pet, and a pat on the ass? God, mom,

I’m eleven. What I know about battles is keeping a berry tree alive past its first sprout.

What I know of patience is walking the long way around the tall grasses. My only risks, ledges.

All I’ve ever known of desire is possession. When he asks me to name my enemy, it’s always after

someone I used to love. What’s the difference? Something small and painful, I’m sure, unimportant

when it all comes down to it—a splinter, a pebble in my shoe. Choose! I always make these decisions for you.

Destiny sits round in my palm. Yours is whatever foils me—lick of fire to my tranquil green, sea lapped against

my single spark. I want to be the very best—and the best is only better than you. My whole

life alongside yours, your steps the trail to every town, your shadow the dark of every cave.

I know, in the end, it comes down to this—you and I together. On the road to victory, your body

locked there, looking out. In the final battle, your name tumbling from my mouth.

#poetry #leila chatti #erm what's his name again

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Many young wizards have taken to transmuting swans into humans and marrying them. One day, you are lucky enough to find a swan in the wild, and without hesitating, you turn it into a beautiful lady. Unfortunately, that ‘swan’, was a goose. You have just given a goose a human form.

#short fiction #amazing #writing #read this

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I do this! Especially "question:". It has helped so much in getting information across the way I want it to be read!

this is gonna sound like a shitpost but the best advice i have if youre consistently coming off wrong is to start talking like an elcor

you will feel like a dumdum at first, but once you get used to it youll realize that telling people what kind of thing you're about to say ahead of time flattens their anxiety a huge amount

ive been starting every question with "question:" for awhile now and i almost never get people reading too much into what i mean anymore

it seems super dumb, but "what are your plans tomorrow?" gets people asking me what i have planned despite me obviously being in the process of figuring that out, whereas "question: what are your plans tomorrow?" gets me a quick rundown of their schedule, followed by "why?"

it also makes it really easy to work tone indicators into your verbal speech. if you're always saying "question: [your question here]?" then no one blinks when you say "genuine question: [question that could read as sarcastic]?"

it also gets you out of your own way for any types of things you struggle to say. "can you make sure to do the dishes before you go to bed?" feels like an argument waiting to happen, but "request: can you make sure to do the dishes before you go to bed?" gets the words flowing on a neutral word while making it clear that you're not looking for a fight

so yeah. suggestion: talk like an elcor

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New fic new fic new fic DELIGHTFUL NEW FIC if you aren't reading this series you should ABSOLUTELY give it a look, amazing worldbuilding and delightful characters and Good Things happen to Good People.

Marika de Roggeven needs to get out of Redania, away from the disgrace her family has become.

Griffin, newly king of Temeria, needs a wife who knows how to run a country.

Jaskier gets to play matchmaker, and turns out to be very good at it indeed.

#fic rec #delicious food

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I have to explain what is going on in the UK, because it is absurd.

So, this is Gary Lineker:

He's known for a fair few things over here. He was a very good (association) footballer, playing for England in the 1986 and 1990 World Cups, winning the Golden Boot in 1986, and managing to never get a single yellow card in his playing career. He played for Leicester City, Everton, Barcelona, and Tottenham, before finishing his career in Japan. But if you aren't in your mid 30s, you probably know actually know him him for a couple of other things. The first is the role of spokesman for another Leicester icon, Walkers Crisps (which are sort of equivalent to Lays, but hit different), as pictured above. Despite being a notably clean player, he used to play a cheeky serial crisp thief. I don't think he's done that for well over a decade, but his ads were on the telly a lot when I was a kid and it's a bit like learning that the hamburglar was an incredibly clean (American) football player or something.

The second thing Gary is widely known for is having presented Match of the Day, the big football program on the BBC, the sort-of state broadcaster, since 1999. He is, incidentally, very well paid for this (though with a consensus that he could get even more if he went to one of the non-free-to-view broadcasters because he is very good at the job). He also has a twitter account. And political opinions. So, the UK government has got itself dead set upon doing heinous stuff that will totally somehow work to prevent people who want to come to the UK making the perilous crossing of the Channel (between England and France). By heinous, I mean "openly advertise that they won't attempt to protect victims of modern slavery" stuff. It's very obviously using a legal hammer to victimise a marginalised group of people in order to win votes. And, uh, I should clarify that by "legal" I mean "using the passage of laws" - the policy is, in addition to all the other ways it's awful, probably incompatible with the Human Rights Act and the UK's international law obligations. Gary, top lad that he is, objected to this. On Tuesday 7th March, he made a quote Tweet of a video of the Home Secretary, Suella Braverman, bigging up the policy, he wrote "Good heavens, this is beyond awful.". This got a bunch of backlash from extremely right-wingers, and then he made the tweet that really got him in trouble (with right-wingers): "There is no huge influx. We take far fewer refugees than other major European countries. This is just an immeasurably cruel policy directed at the most vulnerable people in language that is not dissimilar to that used by Germany in the 30s, and I’m out of order?".

Now, I am not actually subjecting myself to watching a video of Suella Braverman bigging up a cruel policy to say whether the specific comparison of the language to 1930s Germany is accurate. But needless to say, Ms Braverman was amongst the many figures on the right of UK politics objecting to Gary's rhetoric. And here's the part where a fact about the BBC comes in: it is nominally neutral and impartial (and so, of course, is routinely accused of bias from all sides but particularly the right-wing), and has something of a code for its contributors to this effect. Now, that code has previously been applied to Gary Lineker, over a comment about whether governing Conservative Party would hand back donations from figures linked to the Russian regime. But it generally hasn't been applied too strongly to people like Gary, whose roles have nothing to do with politics (such as presenting a "here's what happened on the footie today" show), on the basis that, well, their roles have nothing to do with politics. However, when directly asked about whether the BBC should punish Gary Lineker for his tweets, government figures basically went "well, that's a them problem". But a couple of days passed, and it seemed like Gary's approach of "standing his ground because he did nothing wrong" was working and everything would die down. He was set to get 'a talking to' but not much more than that. The Conservative right, after all their fire and fury earlier, had gotten bored and moved onto something else. And then, on Friday 10th March, the BBC announced that he would be suspended from hosting Match of the Day this weekend. But it could still go ahead, because there are, like, other hosts! Except, well, funnily enough, when you take a beloved figure off air, for making a fairly anodyne tweet, no one wants to be the scab who actually takes up the role of replacing him. Gary's two co-hosts, Alan Shearer and Ian Wright, said that they would not appear without him. People who (co-)host Match of the Day on other days followed suit. The net result is that Match of the Day is currently set to air without hosts, BBC commentary, or global feed commentary. And the solidarity shown to Gary Lineker, over what is very flagrantly actual cancel culture and an attack on freedom of speech (the logic implied is that institutional impartiality requires that no one say anything too critical of the government ever), has continued to grow. The BBC has pretty much been unable to run pretty much any live sports content today, and has resorted to raiding the BBC Sounds archive to fill the sports radio channel. And, as of 17:30 on Saturday 11th March, the situation shows no signs of improvement, though some are calling for the Chairman Richard Sharp, who is separately facing corruption allegations, to resign (yes I linked to the BBC itself there, there is nothing, nothing, the BBC loves more than going into great detail about how much the BBC sucks).

#current events #politics #U.K. #bbc

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love that this caused so much controversy the thread needed to be locked. over chicken sandwich

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Source

#no one was expecting that to work #not the dog #certainly not the cat #humor #video

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Advertising peaked at the Discovery channel “Boom de Yada” commercials

#video #this will give you some joy

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So Arizona launched an “education hotline” that allows “concerned parents” to report “””critical race theory””” and other things like ~gender identity~ being taught in the classroom

It would be a shame if the number and email were spread to bad actors looking to prank call the AZ Department of Education

602-771-3500 or empower @ azed .gov 🤡

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This time of year is always very nostalgic for me bc I used to be the Token Gentile at an office and every few months there'd be a Jewish holiday and my friend would be like "Hey, I need you to do Gentile things for us" and I'd be like hell yes dude. Gentile Things often meant I'd sign things in exchange for a few dollars on venmo but Pesach was a special time for me because it meant everyone gave me boxes of pasta, cereal, and other baked goods. The first time my friends were like "Hey for reasons we won't bother getting into we're going to give you all of our bread" I was like, it is a powerful responsibility but as an Ally I cannot refuse. Best time of the year, frankly

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vt

I hope this posts in order! @twink-on-the-brink​ @gracefulvaudeville​

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#fashion #goth #the notes though #:D

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this just in: eating like shit for no reason is bad for you

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This show is somehow both adorable and horrible at the same time. The tonal dissonance is astonishing. I do love Aura though. I wish the show itself was better. There's such a cool premise under the violence, cruelty and boob jokes.

hes so excited to massacre people with his feet

#overlord #anime #aura

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Ok but now I am delighted that I'm not the only person who heard the tentacle song and went "oh yeah that's surprisingly catchy". CBC radio is wild at times. My roomie has it on in the car and so if I don't steal the music control we end up listing to whatever is on at whatever time and it can be a romp.

Woke up this morning to the atonal wailing of a children's choir accompanied by a deep-voiced man chanting rhythmically about the economy in French.

#life #music #cbc